Does anyone struggle with these problems?What's your problems and how you fight them?

[Never_give_up]

I can't quit addictions, I tried everything. I can't stop internet and food and some other addictions. I drink zero alchohol, zero coffee, zero drugs, zero smoking. But I just can't stop the other things. I feel so powerless. Should I move and go to an enviroment that it's difficult to access these things?

Also I try to do things that will make me independent so I will go abroad. But I lack discipline and motivation so I can't even study English or other stuff, maybe I can do it a little but then I stop. People say just be disciplined no motivation, but without a little motivation you can't be disciplined. I have no motivation, I have boredom and that makes me lose the ability to do things that I have to do. I workout and do some other stuff most of the time but there are so many things I have to do that my brain refuse to do, and add internet addiction to that and I just can't do anything.

Also I am very bad at memorization. I try to memorise things cause I am bad at it and it's a nessecary skill but I have to study for hours just to remember some lines. That's bad if you add the boredom that comes from it that makes mind and body refuse to read. I thought I was bad student and didn't go  to university cause I have very low IQ but now I see that I just lack memorization ability (which is not something I am happy for but at least I no longer feel inferior for my IQ).

I feel I have no control of my life but my neurochemistry has all control. I tried everything and I just waste time. I have other problems too but these 3 are essential for my dreams. I want to go abroad but how will I make it like that. People think I am a loser cause I am lazy but I am not just lazy, there is something more than being lazy. I literally can't force it. Some days I can that's the optimistic thing but without consistency it can't happen.

Am I a weirdo? Do other people have these problems? I get I am below average in the severity of these problems compared to the average person but am I normal? I am going to discuss all these things with my therapist but I can't go often there cause he is in another town and don't want to change therapist but even if I went often I don't want only the opinion of a therapist but also the opinion of other people.

Do you have problems in your lives? please share. Do you ever feel like you are weird for doing things like these that others don't? Do you know any solutions to these problems? What would you do if you were me? would you despair? How you conquered your own problems? Am I overeacting for feeling like a failure?

I see everyone getting succesful in life while I am stuck with these 3 big problems that seem unsovable. 

[Puer Aeternus]

@Never_give_up hey boss! That's a lot of stuff, I'm feeling for you man. Just sounds rather exhausting innit. Lacking the energy but still having to push on, exhausting.

In my experiences, addictions are coping mechanisms for your root problems. Trying to cut off the addiction- may be necessary, even stabilizing sometimes. But if you just cut it off and don't have a better way to cope, it's just going to replace with something new. Got to get down to that pain, whatever that may be. And that's not easy. Nooope.

I'm not really sure what you need but I'm curious what things you've tried in the past to deal with all this?? 

And I will say.

10 hours ago, Never_give_up said:

I see everyone getting succesful in life while I am stuck with these 3 big problems that seem unsovable. 

This is a facade. People almost always pretend to be better than they actually are. It's a secret game everyone plays. Maybe they superficially are doing more than you, but there are secret struggles happening behind the scenes that you'd never know.

Take care and best to you!

[samijiben]

Hey man, that fkn sucks, I also am in the dumps. I am dealing with perpetual heartbreak, infinite libido, and NO WAY OUT!

I have no money, no friends. Hella earwax stuck in my left lobe. The shit is like CAKED on there, man. Think it was from my earbuds.

I feel like a social retard also. I cannot make genuine connections with people. I feel like I am always manipulating them. Even if I am honest about me being manipulative, it is more manipulation. This has me stuck feeling like monster.

What is more, mother is going through emotional crisis out of which I cannot help her. Father is dealing with a longe-term anger disease, now some 20 years & counting. Sister is fat and won't slim down. Weight watchers seemed to have made her fatter. Grandpa battling cancer of the nuts. And those are the only 4 ppl in my life. 

So how do I deal with all this? Man, I don't. Try not to be thinking about all that BOOOOlshitterooni, man. Will make you sick. Might even vomit.

Whatever my problem is, whenever I write it out, helps me be conscious that it is projection I am doing in Real Time, which means I can stop. Try this method out. Be ruthlessly honest as you write. No one else gonna read it, so why not?

Spell out your problems. Even if it makes you sound like a chimp. Then, you might just reach the realization, if even for a SPLIT second, that your problems be fake, dude. Scam! Just like those shady dudes in Pahar Ganj.

[Sugarcoat]

I just have a bunch of suicidal thoughts. It’s like my way of dealing with things. Maybe I’m weak

[Keryo Koffa]

14 minutes ago, Sugarcoat said:

I just have a bunch of suicidal thoughts. It’s like my way of dealing with things. Maybe I’m weak

Maybe you're being pulled out of reality into the next dimension
because it has little to offer, I'd do some ESP.

I myself am locking in of accelerating ASI, alien contact and astral inspansion.

Monks who get bored or annoyed can just sit in a cave all life
meditating and from their POV, aren't missing anything.
(timelines repeat, corruption thrives and collapses itself, boycotting real life at this point)

Edited Saturday at 12:26 PM by Keryo Koffa

[Sugarcoat]

2 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Maybe you're being pulled out of reality into the next dimension because it has little to offer, I'd do some ESP.

I don’t seem to be able to do esp at the moment. 
 

I just wonder when the suicidal thoughts will win

[Keryo Koffa]

Just now, Sugarcoat said:

I don’t seem to be able to do esp at the moment. 

I just wonder when the suicidal thoughts will win

I've had tons recently, I was expanding on telepathy, and it was as if on another layer all your cringiest aspects were exposed, moneti... actually all of it already encoded in media so it's not worth reexplicating. Suffice to say, I allowed myself to be brutally honest about wanting to die and did a full inverse on authenticity, I hate everyone, I hate everything, I hope it all succeeds and falls apart in its pathetic futility, and the world burns because it's useless and a pain in the ass even if it succeeds or made it to peace love, blah blah blah, it would just outlaw those.

Then the universe itself trying to steer my vibration into positivity, until I called it toxic,
and to leave me alone... and then when I got bored of brooding, I felt lighter 

I'd focus on locating their source, what exactly about your experience makes you feel that way?

[Keryo Koffa]

I feel like regardless of whether healed, broken, addicted, this will add some perspective.

Edited Saturday at 12:40 PM by Keryo Koffa

[Sugarcoat]

4 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I've had tons recently, I was expanding on telepathy, and it was as if on another layer all your cringiest aspects were exposed, moneti... actually all of it already encoded in media so it's not worth reexplicating. Suffice to say, I allowed myself to be brutally honest about wanting to die and did a full inverse on authenticity, I hate everyone, I hate everything, I hope it all succeeds and falls apart in its pathetic futility, and the world burns because it's useless and a pain in the ass even if it succeeds or made it to peace love, blah blah blah, it would just outlaw those.

Then the universe itself trying to steer my vibration into positivity, until I called it toxic,
and to leave me alone... and then when I got bored of brooding, I felt lighter 

I'd focus on locating their source, what exactly about your experience makes you feel that way?

I think it’s pretty clear to me why I feel this way

[Keryo Koffa]

Then I suppose you won't have to:
 

Edited Saturday at 01:16 PM by Keryo Koffa

[Sugarcoat]

4 minutes ago, Keryo Koffa said:

Then I suppose you won't have to:
 

Suffering is the hardest thing a human can do

[Puer Aeternus]

1 hour ago, Sugarcoat said:

I just have a bunch of suicidal thoughts. It’s like my way of dealing with things. Maybe I’m weak

Meh. Nah, not weak.

People get all gaslighty about suicide, oooh it's cause you're weak. Nope. There's just no visible light at the end of the tunnel.

People can get stuck in unbearable circumstances. And I remember yours from previous posts. It's no damn tea party.

[Sugarcoat]

2 minutes ago, Puer Aeternus said:

Meh. Nah, not weak.

People get all gaslighty about suicide, oooh it's cause you're weak. Nope. There's just no visible light at the end of the tunnel.

People can get stuck in unbearable circumstances. And I remember yours from previous posts. It's no damn tea party.

Thanks

[Schizophonia]

1 hour ago, Keryo Koffa said:

I've had tons recently, I was expanding on telepathy, and it was as if on another layer all your cringiest aspects were exposed, moneti... actually all of it already encoded in media so it's not worth reexplicating. Suffice to say, I allowed myself to be brutally honest about wanting to die and did a full inverse on authenticity, I hate everyone, I hate everything, I hope it all succeeds and falls apart in its pathetic futility, and the world burns because it's useless and a pain in the ass even if it succeeds or made it to peace love, blah blah blah, it would just outlaw those.

Then the universe itself trying to steer my vibration into positivity, until I called it toxic,
and to leave me alone... and then when I got bored of brooding, I felt lighter 

I'd focus on locating their source, what exactly about your experience makes you feel that way?

It's very recent; it started by "playing" with my psyche, as I explained in my journal, but I've developed a tendency toward suicide; it's a kind of strong attraction that comes from guts. Like it's almost Christmas or something.

The problem is that I don't want to hurt my family, and I'm stuck with my narcissism in general (Valentin is too attractive and intelligent, has experienced too much to commit suicide; it would be a waste), and you don't know what happens after death.
One possibility, btw, is that it's precisely this narcissism that creates this attraction.
And it turns out I'll be reincarnated in the same life, or a shitty one.

Another option is taking certain drugs or practicing BDSM (I will finish by coming across as a weirdo, lol, think of me as a consciousness technician); maybe a mixture of the two. I was talking about it somewhere once with @Nilsi

So as to be able to approach a state of death and total relief, but with safety.

It could also be more casual stuff like jumping out of a helicopter, going on a roller coaster etc; but that requires more courage.

[Schizophonia]

22 hours ago, Never_give_up said:

I can't quit addictions, I tried everything. I can't stop internet and food and some other addictions. I drink zero alchohol, zero coffee, zero drugs, zero smoking.

It's already very good, you are clearly not in the worst possible situation.

For the rest, you can get rid of your electrical devices in such a way that you can no longer use them anyway; you give away your phone and replace it with an old Nokia without internet, you give away your headphones/headset, you make sure you can only use your computer once a week, or with parental controls managed by someone else...
Generally speaking, you give yourself the option of no longer having access to it, the same goes for food.

Recently, I read an article about seminal retention and acetylcholine; a guy had used this article as part of his promotion for his chastity cage, to prevent people from masturbating and preserve their masculine strength.

As long as it works, ahah.