Schizophonia’s Journal

[Schizophonia]

@RendHeaven

 

Real men's breakfast

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😈

[Schizophonia]

Best animal

 

[Schizophonia]

 

[Schizophonia]

👺

 

Edited August 1, 2025 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

 

[Schizophonia]

 

[Schizophonia]

Only things happen, and they unfold as they are necessary.
The ego can pretend to believe in contingency, but that's another illusion, a sleight of hand, contemplable with a little detachment and honesty.
Only fear blocks the truth and access to a higher level of consciousness, because it scares the ego.
And by saying that, ahah, I'm still implying the illusion that there is "something that produces choices"; I should rather say there is an "ego" that "believes" in "free will" because it "is afraid" because addegoticreasonstoavoidthetruth.

Valentin is at his computer and the bandwidth is flowing: he's writing this thread, he's going to eat something, he's maybe going back to do something in town, he's going to go back and check the replies to the thread if there are any, feeling intelligent because the ego perceives this illusion where that of other humans most of the time cannot, to a different extent; everything will unfold as it should logically unfold.
In this sense, the more we become aware of this illusion, the more we also become aware of the illusion of pleasure and pain.
I can have an orgasm right now or, on the contrary, cut my leg; it only matters to the ego; it's just comedy, two different types of comedy, but comedy nonetheless.

From a certain level of consciousness there is nothing left to do except become a potato; because there is nowhere to go except stay in the masquerade (is it possible to return to it) or go into another even more tangible form to realize the imposture again after a while, and continue the loop to infinity.

Edited August 16, 2025 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Remember the South Park episode where the Danes build a machine to track trolls to purify the world and make everyone kind, pure, and eco-friendly like them?
AI will make that possible, but to a much more measured extent.

Thanks to quantum computing, we will be able, from a certain point in the technological singularity, to simulate our universe using its signature.
Everything that happens in the simulation before the date the simulation was generated in our timeline will be identical (beyond that, it's no longer systematically identical, because we could purposely make ourselves behave differently than in the simulation).
The implication of this is that we will be able to observe your entire life from A to Z; both objectively (by creating an objective reality and "zooming in" on you) or subjectively (by simulating your life experience in general).
People will therefore potentially be able to see all the weird or dark things in you.

Humans will also mutate in form, we will first be able to add parts to our CNS and in the longer term transfer our consciousness (all these are stories of the ego of course) into quantum supercomputers to become multidimensional Gods.

[Schizophonia]

😏

[Yimpa]

14 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

😏

[Schizophonia]

3 minutes ago, Yimpa said:

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[Schizophonia]

Say no to limiting believes.

I am-ness

[Schizophonia]

[Schizophonia]

Everything i affirm become true; thought precedes the feeling.

Rumination or simply thoughts in generals hides opening, opening to vitality, new posibilities, to infinity in general; but the ego has a resistance to it. 

On a psychoanalitic pov opening means vulnerability, because the more you open yourself the more you lose the ability to think (which is however a complete illusion) you have controle over reality; this is the base of most of tendancie of mental illness (paranoia, dysthymia...) i think; trends which ultimately are just ramifications of the same neurotic phenomenon.

The game of "being in control," of having "important things," the "hero and victim" dynamic as my "mentor" Franck Lopvet would say; that's precisely the obstacle.

Whether from a materialistic/psychological perspective, simply, or even non-dually.

Edited November 30, 2025 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

A post-a-day challenge for November.

I will likely repeat myself compared to previous posts but it doesn't matter this is an exercisein written expression.

Day 1

There are always people telling us how to live, and sometimes people telling us what to eat. Sometimes they're carnivores, sometimes they're "primal," sometimes keto, sometimes high-fat vegans, sometimes high-carb vegans, sometimes high-carb omnivores like Denise Minger, sometimes high-carb vegans who mainly eat starches like Dr. McDougall, sometimes fruitarians, sometimes both like the somewhat well-known athlete Durianrider, sometimes fruitarians or almost fruitarians who eat a lot of fat, like Markus Rothkranz, and sometimes balanced vegans like Dr. Greger.

Sometimes they're "outside the box" to not say lunatic. Other times they're pretentious narrow-minded scientistic types.

Do we really need to bother theorizing about what we should eat, or can we simply trust our instincts, provided we're paying attention?

If we just let ourselves go are we really going to end up stuffing ourself with Big Macs and smoking Malboros in our underwear in front of the computer lol. And besides if that does happen is it actually bad? Some foods officially considered healthy have caused me major problems like legumes, conversely Coca-Cola is easy to digest and has pro-metabolic and anti-endorphin properties thanks to its caffeine content. Even tobacco (I'm not recommending smoking lol) has anti-stress and antidepressant properties.

Bryan Johnson is the perfect example of what I'd call a misanthropic mindset; manipulating the body according to supposedly objective criteria such as associations between a given supplement or food and a reduction in inflammation, blood pressure, or some other parameter. And since these same parameters are also associated with greater longevity, so out of "transitivity fallacy" taking those supplements and eating (or not) those foods must should be a good thing.

But things like inflammation are bodily responses, and the body, in an absolute sense, is simply trying to achieve its own well-being and maintain homeostasis. Let's assume just for the sake of argument that it's purely a matter of chance. But well by chance this particular individual developed an autoimmune disease, along with other issues such as reduced thyroid function.

My father has spent his whole life doing stupid things. He's a Handyman in a small- to medium-sized town in the south of France and even today, just to keep going or simply out of habit/pleasure he relies on painkillers (first tramadol or codeine, now milder stuff), red wine, Ricard (a typical southern French anise-flavored alcoholic drink) and one or two packs of cigarettes a day lol. And yet he doesn't have the problems Bryan does!

To get back to the topic, I’m drifting a bit, if I listen to my "instinct" I don’t necessarily crave refined foods; it varies.
I find that the more I’m in a contemplative, passive, or stoic state, the more I crave sweet or mild things; typically what Ayurvedic science calls "sattvic."
Conversely the more I lean into "active coping"; the more hypomanic or passive-aggressive I am, the more I crave heavy foods, like red meat or a big burger with fries. This reminds me of Ray Peat’s discussions on serotonin; "passive coping" might correspond to a neurological state of low serotonin levels or high 5-HT1A receptor signaling, whereas "active coping" involves high serotonergic neurotransmission specifically via the 5-HT2A receptor.
It might seem paradoxical but "passive coping" is the neurological (and by extension ego-related) configuration that best supports a healthy endocrine system and consequently erectile function. In this context "passive" must not be understood as "doing nothing" or "being merely receptive"; rather it should be understood as being detached/with less ego. 

Cortisol increases energy/mania, active coping, but precisely conversely decreases for exemple testosterone and thyroid function; what preserves you/makes you strong in the run. 

I recently discovered tofu. At first I was wary because I’d been "brainwashed" by the "bro-scientists" on the internet who claimed it was estrogenic. In reality studies show no anti-androgenic effects (such as a decline in the hypothalamic-pituitary-gonadal axis or impaired spermatogenesis); actually soy may even have anti-estrogenic properties since it’s inversely correlated with the risk of breast cancers that feature estrogen receptors.
It’s inexpensive, highly nutritious, and tastes good. Soy milk actually feels more "natural" and never gave me an explosive shit in the middle of the forest (tru anecdote lol) at the opposite of "raw Jersey cow’s milk". Silken tofu has a texture like flan or egg whites but while actually tasting better in my opinion. Firmer tofu is like chicken breast, yet also tasting superior and less dry. Ditto same goes for TVP (textured vegetable protein).

Edited November 1 by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Day 2

Most philosophers are full of shit; they think they're philosophers because they have an eccentric haircut or wear eccentric clothes, because they wear custom-made high-neck sweaters, and because they throw around phrases like “according to philosopher X” with an intonation that makes you think of the 🤔 emoji; lol.

People sometimes ask me “Oh, Valentin, you're so handsome and strong, but also so intelligent! How do you manage to be so intelligent?” And yet I wear white shirts with the sleeves rolled up that I bought at Zara like some fucking insurance company manager, I drink Red Bull, I sometimes smoke Marlboros, I'm poor, and my meals consist mainly of bread, salad, and pork chops.

A good philosopher isn't an aesthetic; it's a good mental illness! I grew up in a family where trauma and by extension neurosis ran rampant at every level, and just as you can't automatically make good jam in a microwave I unfortunately inherited the whole karmic domino effect. My parents' messy, violent separation; fucked-up events here and there in my family; the intergenerational inheritance of trauma from my parents and ancestors in general anyway; getting picked on later by classmates or ranked last on the girls' list because I was a bit overweight and weird; extreme levels of constant stress throughout middle school; then eating disorders in high school that pushed me to do tons of fasting out of fear of getting fat and becoming repulsive, and to jump back and forth between one diet and another out of paranoia; then insomnia in a large extent because i used testosterone thinking it was going to improve my body composition and so make me more attractive, and improve my sport performances. To begin with I was very introverted, schizoid, and generally weird because of the stress and my overall warped, conflicted view of the world and other people. What probably saved me was that I was still lucky enough to have generous and fairly kind parents who, despite everything, always allowed me to enjoy material comfort and generally speaking gave me the opportunity to retreat into a corner and “process” things. I'm like an exceptional mixture of alternating states of extreme anabolism and extreme catabolism.

Because I'm like this, I naturally became interested, like the other lunatics of my kind lol, in the law of attraction, psychoanalysis, and “spiritual” fields in general, which is what brought me here.

I now believe that a good creator, and therefore well a good thinker, is above all someone who as Leo would put it is non-conformist. In other words I believe creativity comes from selfishness. I don't really believe in creativity as we might imagine it actually; I think the concept is too illusory, a bit like the idea of free will. The two ideas seem to be quite closely related btw.

What I do believe in, the point of view i like to see though is karma's one, that guy who supposedly channels an alien's voice through himself (Daryl Anka, with Bashar being the alien) seems to agree with me to some extent when he talks about “following your passion.” I believe that when we're aware that we're selfish, when we accept that point of view instead of denying it by labeling ourselves altruistic (or “cultured,” “decent,” “developed,” “serious,” etc; the underlying idea being to put objects before the “self”; the self of Ramana Maharshi), then less time is created. We slide further through infinity in the ultimate direction of our karmic chain (bearing in mind that creating time by outsourcing the purpose of our actions to external objects and in reality to forms and limitations in general is itself part of karma!). And this manifests in the human field of experience as greater creativity and a greater ability to think and write things that are interesting and actually hold together.

Why would you struggle in a debate, or how could you say things that are false, if you simply stuck to what you want? What you want is what you want period. The self is tangibility (in it-self), and therefore cannot be deconstructed. It cannot be humiliated or deconstructed; the only thing that can be wrong is what passes through the ego, which pledges allegiance to forms and limitations.

 

Edited Wednesday at 09:32 PM by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Day 3

People who call others fascists have a fascist energy about them. People who call others homosexual are all the more likely to be homosexual themselves. People who perceive mediocrity in others are mediocre themselves. People who see pigs in others are probably pigs themselves in some respect — they may, for instance, be able to demonstrate that they are not pigs in one particular sense because they are thin, while nevertheless being sexually perverse, constantly wanting a big car, a big house, and so on, thinking only about money or fame... People who perceive a lack of masculinity in others in fact lack masculinity themselves according to those very same criteria. And so on and so forth.

Why? Because what is it that drives individuation? Why does person A find themselves doing X, while person B finds themselves doing Z? Well, because X belongs to A, and Z belongs to B. I do something, or speak about one particular thing at a given moment, out of a (theoretical) infinity of possible objects, because it is that particular thing which concerns me. And by "problem" we must of course understand a lack, a deficiency.

A materialist account of this phenomenon can be proposed: there is a brain whose primary imperative is survival, and which therefore focuses on one object rather than another because it has registered that this object, its presence or absence, is of paramount importance to that very survival.

So why do some people perceive stupidity in others, for instance, while others perceive any number of other qualities, whether negative or positive? Because those concerned perceive others through their own lenses, through their own neurons, their own nervous systems which have evolved over the short or long term to manage their limitations in the world. Limitations which therefore also constitute their unit of measurement namely... stupidity.

There is thus a non-dual perspective to be found in materialism, but also of course, and this is generally how the idea of non-duality is approached in spirituality and philosophy, an idealist, monist perspective.

Since I am God, then in reality, in the absolute, the intuition of separation from the other, the very notion of a relationship between "subject" and "object", is an illusion. And the "I" of the ego, which believes itself to hold an opinion about something, is in fact holding an opinion about itself: about its own creation, insofar as it is the source of that creation (and therefore, ultimately, about itself). The divide between infinity and the finite, between God and creation, is itself always an illusion of separation, an illusion of duality.

This could explain why extremists on opposing sides can sometimes resemble one another: rather than embodying what they advocate, they are in fact projecting the responsibility for their own egos onto others which in fact renders identity fragile; once again, the closer identity is to the self, the more solid it is and vice versa.

A left-winger who sees fascists everywhere might come to recognize this mechanism of projection and move further to the right. The same could happen to a right-winger who sees "weakness" or "irresponsibility" in others.

I clearly have a right-wing bias, and I often have a problem with left-wing people (projection). Once I'm truly living my ideal right-wing lifestyle (children, hunting/fishing, entrepreneurship, etc.) the mirror will automatically disappear.

Or perhaps I'll move towards the center, or just being deinterested by politic and the mirrors on both the right and the left will disappear. I don't know. It doesn't matter we'll see.

 

Edited Wednesday at 09:35 PM by Schizophonia

[Schizophonia]

Day 4

As a friend of mine online in my Discord group recently put it, which really made me laugh: "I stole from a store again I'm a good Arab" lol.

He uses various disinhibiting drugs. Whom in particular that increase GABA neurotransmission such as benzodiazepines, or block glutamate neurotransmission such as alcohol, ketamine, PCP, and so on. These substances are known to make people say horrible things, commit crimes, or, worse engage in assaults, rapes...

Well I'm a good Frenchman so I drink lol. Not very often; about once or twice a week I don't like being drunk It's not dopaminergic for me, it's more like taking a sedative or an antipsychotic.

But I really enjoy the taste depending on the type of alcohol. Sweet/fruity alcoholic drinks are the ones I like the least, whether they're low in alcohol like sweet white wine or strong like bourbons.

Beer is nice but hops get sickening pretty quickly. Red wine or even dry white wine is still a cut above the rest. Red wine is what I drink most of the time.

As for my favorite spirits tequila/mezcal and especially gin. Gin has an excellent smell, somewhat reminiscent of orange blossom extract (at least the ones I've tried), and at the same time its taste is light, it remains dry which is what I like.

If I ever felt like doing something just for the fun/to kill some time I'd probably try making moonshine or homemade vodka even if it's illegal. The government shouldn't have the right to hassle people who want to do that on the grounds that stupid people might potentially do something reckless and end up drinking methanol, especially given how easy it is to access information nowadays.

I'd say I'm rather conservative when it comes to social values, at least in terms of what I'm aiming for, but ultimately I can't stand the idea of the government having excessive control over my life; there is a world of difference between advocating something and imposing it. I'm against banning cannabis for example; I personally oppose it, but I can't stand the idea of some government official being able to slap me with a fine for doing it in my own home, with my own money.

[Schizophonia]

Day 5 

When I was taking driving lessons, I experimented with different psychological states to see whether they would affect my performance, almost as if I were changing or modulating my persona/"vibe."

I noticed that "alas" the state that made me perform best was being "uptight." After making a series of mistakes I would get annoyed, feel slighted, shut myself off, and focus on the road with narrowed, irritated eyes. And somehow my driving would become good.

The same goes for sleep. My sleep has improved drastically and is still generally much better, although it remains imperfect. Sleep hygiene and mental well-being in general certainly help, but I noticed that deep down there was a resistance to forcing myself to rest and relax. So, in order to actually fall asleep, I also needed that same "uptight" vibe.

Finally, to give a third example, I noticed that refusing to act in bad faith in any situation; stopping myself from getting angry, being resistant, or acting passive-aggressively, would trigger these kinds of emotional states.

 

It seems that this (much like all negative affects in general; I'm simply choosing this particular angle to approach the subject), ultimately goes back to the primordial wound of separation.

There was a birth, an entry into a relative and dualistic world that inherently involves limitations. The ego experiences these limitations as something being imposed upon it and defends itself against them out of an unconscious fear of death or failure to reproduce, since that is fundamentally the game the human ego is playing.

Thus, to avoid what Lacan would call "symbolic castration," we develop various defense mechanisms that essentially make up our personality and "vibe" in general Everything; from our ideologies to the type of ice cream we prefer, it has been conditioned—epigenetically or genetically, which is basically transgenerational memory—to maximize our chances of survival within a context that was imposed upon us (or at least, that's how the ego perceives it).

This resistance to separation effectively makes it "real" within a non-dual framework; the ego claims to be an ego which in turn makes it "real" and consequently asserts that "it" exists and so on.

This is the irony of non-duality applied to itself; the duality between non-duality and duality; if assuming what I'm saying makes sense.

In Buddhism among other traditions this phenomenon is referred to as karma: the chain of resistance that sustains us and keeps the cycle of rebirth, the wheel of samsara, in motion.

But sometimes, paradoxically, moving toward what actually serves our interests requires sacrificing the persona we've developed up until that point. This brings us to consciously recognize the very reason we developed that persona in the first place: the so-called wound of separation.

 

Deep down, human beings are quite simple, and more or less all want the same things.

And alas the more they dig themselves in, the more they react, the more they actually worsen their own situation; this is what is meant by the devil in the Abrahamic religions, the demiurge of the Gnostics, or the "maya" of Eastern traditions.

 

Edited Thursday at 10:16 PM by Schizophonia