I'm at a crossroads and I need help.

[Quest]

Hey everyone.

 

By all accounts, my life is going very well. I have lots of great friends, an amazing girlfriend, a fair net worth (roughly 160k with no debt), and I take amazing care of myself.

 

That said, at the ripe old age of 30, I find myself at a crossroads, and honestly, I feel a little stuck.

 

I currently work as a group fitness instructor making < 40k per year (my net worth is due to a gift I received from family). While I enjoy the work, it's not feasible long-term, given that it simply does not pay enough, nor does it provide the meaning and satisfaction that comes from living your life purpose (and ultimately, I intend to live my life purpose).

 

I completed Leo's LPC. At first, I thought I'd be a life coach. I went through iPEC. I had some paying clients, but I didn't enjoy coaching very much. Between the curriculum, building my website, and coaching paying clients, I spent about 1.5 years pursuing it, but then quit.

 

Then I decided I'd try coding. For the last 10 months, I've taught myself JavaScript, which I am now proficient at. The new plan was (and possibly still is):

 

1. Teach myself how to code (this part is done)

 

2. Build a portfolio of 2-3 well-polished projects

 

3. Begin job hunting, leveraging my many contacts in tech as a starting point for getting interviews.

 

Getting a job in tech would mean bringing in more money, which I could then use to pay for therapy (the next big piece after I get my career put into place), further education, an all-organic diet, coaching and consultants, and other high-quality infrastructure to keep building my life.

 

If, hypothetically, I were to break into software engineering, the move at that point would either be:

 

1. Continue learning new languages and skills outside of work hours, building up enough career capital to move into higher-paying roles.

OR

2. Pursue a passion project that would be a powerful LP for me if it became a viable business. Basically, it would be a personal development platform/app. Now that I am familiar with JS, CSS, and HTML, I feel I can start building this. The thing is, I got burned with coaching - 15k down the drain for the program, plus an additional 5k down the drain for hiring a biz coach, plus two years of my life pursuing something that didn't pan out. I'm scared that will happen again, and the prospect of building skills and climbing within the tech space as an employee seems appealing after that experience.

 

The thing is, the software development job market here in Canada (and in the US, from what I hear) is brutal. Grads with CS degrees are having trouble finding work. This is very disheartening, given that I'm a self-taught JS noobie. If they're having trouble, what chance do I have?

 

There's a bootcamp company in the city where I live, and the government of Canada has partnered with them to cover the majority of the cost for their 12 week intensive cyber security program (it's usually 14k, but right now it's 3500). I thought this might be an easier way to break into the tech space, and then, if I want to pursue software development, I could make a lateral move from cyber security into software development.

 

The thing is, the job market for cyber security is also brutal right now! Furthermore, people seem to poo-poo bootcamps, calling them bloated. And, from what I gather, cyber security isn't a field you just get into. You need years of IT experience to break into the cyber security space. If that's true, a 12 week bootcamp would be useless. plus I'd have to quit my job given the demands of the program, so not only would I be out 3500, I'd also be out 2k per month on a skeleton budget to keep paying my bills. When all's said and done, by the time I've completed the bootcamp, I'd be out 10k. which represents half my cash (the remainder of my portfolio is in VGRO). If the job market is as brutal as I think it is, and I don't have a job, how much longer after the program would I need to bleed cash before landing my first gig?

 

I'm at a loss. I don't know what to do. I spent my entire 20s cleaning up my life, and I've just about done it, except for the career piece. At 30, the idea of going back to school for years seems very unappealing to me. But if it proves to be the only way forward, I suppose I'll have no choice.

 

This is my situation. I'm looking for guidance. Please help.

 

Edit: One thing I forgot to mention is that I also have a bachelor's of psychology under my belt. I thought I was going to be a therapist in my early 20s. Another option is to get my masers in counselling and become a therapist. The issue there is that I didn't particularly care for coaching, so I'm not sure how much I'd enjoy being a therapist. Plus the financial and time commitment is very significant.

Edited October 27, 2024 by Quest

[integration journey]

I think that nothing is a waste. Everything that you learned will become valuable to you even if you don’t feel passionate about it anymore. 
you were able to “test the waters” and see what resonates with you  which is great in the long run. 
Are you leaning more towards choice 1 or 2?

You can hypothetically focus on one single goal like option number 1 and put all your concentration on building your skills while doing coaching on the side or as a hobby or you can do the reverse. 
But I recommend focusing on what you most feel called to do so that your focus is not all over the place while pursuing your other interests as side hustles or hobbies. 

[Javfly33]

7 hours ago, Quest said:

 

I currently work as a group fitness instructor making < 40k per year (my net worth is due to a gift I received from family). While I enjoy the work, it's not feasible long-term, given that it simply does not pay enough, nor does it provide the meaning and satisfaction that comes from living your life purpose (and ultimately, I intend to live my life purpose).

 

Then why are you pursuing coding?

If I were you I´d stay being a group fitness instructor and keep those savings for when the life purpose takes more form. 

 

You are right, nowadays self-taught JS is not very valuable these days, you need a bit more to get into a job without a degree, and definetely a lot more to get into cybersecurity. Although that 'a bit more' could be a project that stands out for example. So don´t lose hope if you decide to give a try to that.

But I definitely wouldn't do the cybersecurity bootcamp, especially if you have to quit your job to do it. 

Edited October 28, 2024 by Javfly33

[Princess Arabia]

On 10/27/2024 at 7:07 PM, Quest said:

That said, at the ripe old age of 30,

Lol. I guess I'm ancient.

[mmKay]

@Quest It seems that you would benefit from re-visiting the Life Purpose Course. Your main concern seems to be a lack of meaningful work, with income being a secondary issue. Let me know if that sounds right. If so, the task would be to describe what meaningful work would look like for you.

If you find yourself at a crossroads, but you know your top strengths, top values, most meaningful impact, zone of genius, preferred medium, and domain of mastery, making the right long-term choices shouldn’t be an issue. You can simply filter the decision you're considering through these criteria and see how aligned everything is for you. These things may naturally change and evolve over time as you gain more real-life experience.

You may not snipe the perfect move right away, but you will know that you are at least moving in the right trajectory.

Do you see yourself coding long term, or would it make you miserable? If not, what would increase your income but be more aligned with your Life Purpose, at least in the long term?

What are your current conclusions about your Life Purpose?

Edited November 1, 2024 by mmKay

[Quest]

6 hours ago, mmKay said:

@Quest It seems that you would benefit from re-visiting the Life Purpose Course. Your main concern seems to be a lack of meaningful work, with income being a secondary issue. Let me know if that sounds right.

Meaning and purpose are the primary concern, but $$$ is also very important, given that money will be the key that allows me to continue building my life (i.e. reinvest into my purpose, therapy, travel, consultants, books, courses, trainers, nutritionists, retreats, etc.)

 

6 hours ago, mmKay said:

If so, the task would be to describe what meaningful work would look like for you.

Personal development is my highest passion. It's what enabled me to turn my life around. That's why I pursued coaching. Now that I know how to code, I could build a personal development platform/app. This is an idea I've had for a very long time, and it's also what makes me the most excited out of all the different options I'm considering. But again, it's the most risky, and I'm afraid of losing more money and more time if it doesn't work out. Ideally, I'd like to hedge my bets by generating more money in my career now, and then begin building this thing outside of work hours.

 

6 hours ago, mmKay said:

If you find yourself at a crossroads, but you know your top strengths, top values, most meaningful impact, zone of genius, preferred medium, and domain of mastery, making the right long-term choices shouldn’t be an issue. You can simply filter the decision you're considering through these criteria and see how aligned everything is for you. These things may naturally change and evolve over time as you gain more real-life experience.

I've been reviewing and refining my Me Sheet for years now. Here's the relevant info:

 

Top values

Wellbeing: The degree to which I have attained inner peace.

Self-sufficiency/Personal Development: The capacity to produce exceptional results in all domains of life by utilizing internalized knowledge, wisdom, and skills.

Goodness: The degree to which I embody virtue. Strength of character.

Health/Vigor/Energy: Optimal functioning of the body and the mind.

Connection: Sharing deep emotional bonds with my friends, family, and partner. Vibing with my fellow humans.

Contribution/Impact: Enhancing the collective well-being of humanity.

Direction/Purpose/Vision: Knowing what I want in life, having the plan to get there, and executing the plan.

Fun: Having pleasurable experiences that enhance well-being. Acting silly, lighthearted, and playful.

Freedom: Being able, generally speaking, to use my time as I please.

Nature: Walking, hiking, exploring, and/or camping in a multitude of biomes.

 

Top Five Strengths

Love of learning: You love learning new things, whether in a class or on your own. You have always loved school, reading, and museums-anywhere and everywhere, there is an opportunity to learn.

Persistence and Tenacity: You finish what you start. You navigate hardship to reach your goals. Consistency and discipline are hallmarks of your approach to life.

Hope, optimism, and future-mindedness: You expect the best in the future, and you work to achieve it. You believe that the future is something that you can control.

Ability to connect with others: You’re naturally inclined toward building relationships. People are drawn to you, and making friends and conversing with others comes naturally to you.

Gratitude: You are aware of the good things that happen to you, and you never take them for granted. Your friends and family members know that you are a grateful person because you always take the time to express your thanks.

 

Most meaningful impact

Anything that helps people do personal development work. Helping people grow by becoming more self-sufficient, mature, wiser, cognitively developed, etc.

 

Zone of genius

It's funny, as I was writing this, I realized that health is truly a zone of genius for me. My lifestyle is very fine-tuned in terms of diet, sleep, exercise, meditation, etc. All of this is rooted in close to a decade of research and experimentation. I've kept my zone of genius blank for a long time, but I think I'm going to fill it in for now as: 

 

Health, wellness, and self-care.

 

Funny how this also reflects the current industry I'm working in, and it directly expresses my top four values, especially values 1 and 4.

 

Domain of Mastery

Personal Development

 

Ideal Medium

I'm not entirely clear on this. Based on everything I've written, diet and exercise would be fitting. But I also enjoy (and am naturally strong at) writing. Also, if I were to create the personal development platform, coding and software would be the natural medium.

 

What I'm taking away from all this is that building a health and wellness business centered around fitness would be a viable path forward. I've accumulated over three years of experience in the industry working as a group fitness instructor, which has allowed me to build some career capital. I also have lots of contacts in the fitness industry, many of whom either do personal training on the side, or have successful full time personal training businesses.

 

I could see myself combining my fitness expertise and my coaching background to build a health and wellness biz. I would need to up my technical game for personal training - developing a deep understanding of proper biomechanics and form, as well as learning how to develop customized workout routines. I'd also want to get certified as a nutritionist so I could provide counsel on diet.

 

At the same time, what about my coding? Would I have the time to build my gamified personal development platform on the side? Probably not. If I decide to go health and wellness, I'll need to dedicate 100% of my time and energy to get it off the ground. Also trying to code an online platform would spread me too thin.

 

I also want to write. As I mentioned in the first post, I have a website that I'm really proud of. I could integrate that into either my health and wellness biz or my app, but I think that will come later.

 

6 hours ago, mmKay said:

Do you see yourself coding long term, or would it make you miserable? If not, what would increase your income but be more aligned with your Life Purpose, at least in the long term?

I really enjoy coding. I wouldn't have stuck with it for 10 months if I didn't. It would be cool if I could leverage it right now to get a job, but that's highly unlikely. At the very least, I'd need to spend a few months putting together a portfolio of 2-3 polished projects to present to employers. If it worked, I'd definitely increase my income and break into an industry that offers lots of room for growth and high-paying salaries.

 

I could also use this as an opportunity to build V1.0 of my personal dev platform; it can be one of my portfolio projects. I could continue to work on it outside work hours if I broke into the tech field.

 

Acquiring personal training clients could increase my income right now. Plus if I decide to pursue the health and wellness biz, that's tangible progress.

 

6 hours ago, mmKay said:

What are your current conclusions about your Life Purpose?

As of now, it appears I'll either pursue my LP by building a health and wellness biz, or through software dev.

Edited November 2, 2024 by Quest

[Arthur]

On 11/1/2024 at 10:29 PM, Quest said:

Meaning and purpose are the primary concern, but $$$ is also very important, given that money will be the key that allows me to continue building my life (i.e. reinvest into my purpose, therapy, travel, consultants, books, courses, trainers, nutritionists, retreats, etc.)

You can always focus on your life purpose while working a regular job in the meantime. For example, you could build a health and fitness website after hours. For $$$ though, I would recommend doing a 2-year diploma or apprenticeship program and getting into niche jobs in trades, healthcare or government (those sectors are strong in Canada). The competition pool for software and white-collar jobs is too large, especially with immigration, compared to specialized and practical high-skilled jobs.

In your place, I would minimize my spending (downsize if possible), keep most of my net worth in ETFs, and finish a 2-year diploma in healthcare. If you have the patience to sit through a degree, you can look into Kinesiology or Physiotherapy, which will combine your passion for exercising and a healthy lifestyle.

[Human Mint]

Hi. Good post. Also hope you read this.

You should revisit, integrate more, the basis of value providing and money made the right way. Invest in more books that would help you in bringing to life your new ideas. Make'em come to mind, you have the experience...

It seems you're developing a lot of skills that could easily reinforce each other to create a holistic business. On the other hand, maybe what it is holding you back is you worry about money when you should be worrying on how to give the best value to people. Disclaimer: I am not making money, which is holding me back, but I have the intuition that not worrying on how to make the money will actually be better and actually, counterintuitively, make a good revenue for me. I say that because even though I am not making money I am being able to eat and pay a rent. Sry I don't want to talk bs either... But somewhere else I read that money is just a way people have to say thank you to you. Other way is just a hug, for example. You make something for other person and in turn they hug you; you've helped them. 

You're on a good spot because you have the capital to start a business, and you don't even need all of it. So a good question to ask is what kind of space you want to create for people, such that they will want to come to you an actually choose you over other options.

Another way of thinking it is as follows (Also I read it somewhere else): When we lived on tribes, people didn't pay you to help them, you will just do it naturally because it was a way of thriving and maximizing survival for the group. If you didn't do that, things would simply spiral out of control. There was an unspoken code where each participant could count on each other. If the situation was so that a partner was starving, you would just share a piece of meat with them, and thus bring them to life. In a certain way that doesn't happen anymore but we still are psychologically wired that way...

Edited November 8, 2024 by Human Mint