Knock

@ugreglo What if all these beliefs are bullshit that leads to depression and a mediocre life? What if you start learning empowering beliefs instead that prime you to take action? What if you learn to love yourself so that your identity is not caught up in ideas of 'betas' and 'chads'?

Popularity isn't about what you want. It is about the customers needs. Is there a need in the YouTube market for a singing/insights/meteorology channel? What pain points are you solving for the customers? What is your unique selling points? I know it's just a YouTube channel and not a business, but if you want to attract eyeballs, you have to be marketing like a business.

Welcome to the forum @Jo96! This is a tough one, and I hope you don't mind me being blunt here, I mean it with love How is she holding you back? By not changing herself? This doesn't sounds healthy at all This also doesn't sound good. From an outside perspective, it looks like this: I don't fully accept my girlfriend as she is and I want to change her. She is holding me back by her not changing; she is the problem. I push my girlfriend to change for my own desires. I get frustrated when my girlfriend doesn't change. My suggestion: Work on unconditional love for yourself and your relationships. Learn about each other's love languages. Good luck

@TrynaBeTurquoise Good idea, but not on a first date. Girls want to go on a first date in a safe area. One where they have the option to leave anytime. I would recommend a sushi train. Its busy, but not too loud, and has the option to leave anytime. Additionally, you get a small glimpse on her spending habits by seeing which plates she goes for and how many. Afterwards, if the mood suits and the date is going well, an ice cream to wash all the salty food away is always on the cards too

@Bridge to Infinity Creepy implies that you are using girl's for ulterior motives, and not treating them like a normal human being. Could it be possible that you are using them for some selfish gain? This falls into neediness and is the #1 turnoff for girls. Alternatively, you could be trying 'too hard' with pickup techniques, and the incongruentcy comes across as creepy.

Go on the date and get some experience. Also get some guy friends, this will help you learn social skills without the pressure of sexual/romantic notions.

When a relationship is failing, typically the women's needs are the first to become unmet. Hence they are usually first to feel the pain and pull the trigger.

People who say "bourgeois are the enemy" often are stuck in victim mentality. They also carry a lot of entitlement, but don't contribute much value to the world. I would stay away from these people, they often live mediocre lives and share toxic ideas that are disempowering. Also, their identity is often wrapped up in the ideology, so persuasive argument won't work. The best way to help them grow is to be a role model yourself. I have never met anyone if high success and self esteem that shared the same beliefs.

@Pernani I have. The answer isn't straight forward though, so maybe it's best illustrated via a story. I used to be a huge video game addict. Spent my whole teen years playing them as much as possible, to the detriment of my personal life and maturity. I lived a hedonistic lifestyle, thinking this is happiness. But deep down, I was miserable. When it came time to 'go out into the real world', and get a job and start taking responsibility, I realized I had nothing to give. I had the sudden realisation, "my life sucks. Playing all these games has done nothing but left me empty, an a shadow of a man". I experienced first hand the true value of living hedonisticly, and I despaired. This is the important part. I directly experienced how shit empty entertainment and pleasure was, without working for it. How it destroys you slowly and renders you weak and unhappy. So I vowed to make a change. I researched what true happiness is, read many books and slowly over time changed my value system and beliefs. Now, I just don't even think about video games anymore. It is Simply so far down on the priority list, it never gets touched. There is just too many other important and more meaningful things in front of it. Things that actually make me happy, that benefit my life, and the life of those around me. And the best thing is, once my value system was changed, it was quite effortless to give it up. It simply become no longer important, so as there is no struggle with it. It requires no willpower to fight the addiction anymore. Now I still play computer games about once a month when I hang out with friends in person. But I have no inclination to continue playing once it's switched off. That's how you know you have fully overcome the addiction. Now besides work i: Lift weights Run Journal Read Hang out with friends Hang out with girlfriend Work on my business Do yoga Occasionally go hiking and camping Browse this forum (my one guilty pleasure )

Prioritise what value most, minimize the rest, and do so consciously. An Eisenhower matrix is a popular tool for this:

In the very long term, yes. In the short term, you would be better off on working on interviewing attributes directly. I would recommend instead on working on the following: Being so good they can't ignore you Having abundance mindset Know your skills and how you can outperform others at the job Unpopular opinion, but I go into my interviews with an arrogant but respectful mindset. I don't act rude, but my attitude is "I am overqualified for this job, I go above and beyond the criteria mentioned, if you don't hire me and pay me what I'm worth, then it is your loss. I will simply cross the road and join your compititors company instead." Abundance mindset + knowing your worth. Lastly, toastmasters is fantastic for the indirectly building your interviewing skills. Good luck out there

Sounds like you are making people uncomfortable, and people don't like being uncomfortable. Be more playful instead. I joke around a lot, as I like to have fun and create a 'light' atmosphere. This attracts people with high self-esteem to me and pushes those neurotic people away (sorry neurotic people!). I just don't have time/space in my environment for their baggage. We accept the love we believe we deserve. Don't accept that trash anymore, you are better than that. You need the self-respect to stop them in their tracks when they become overbearing, or be comfortable to walk away. There is not enough time in the world to let neurotic parasites suck your life energy (your time). Just think, what would Obama (or some other role model with high self esteem) do?

The best time to go to sleep is 8:33pm so you can wake up at 4:26am getting your 7:59 hours sleep for optimal performance. I heard it in a motivational YouTube video somewhere, so it must be true! Haha who am I kidding, just work out what time you need to wake up and work ~8hrs backwards from there

@AlphaAbundance I haven't heard about the 'black-pill' movement before. Can you point me to a highly esteemed figure in the movement that is well known?

@themovement what Leo was getting at is being selfish to the detriment of others is bad. Life purpose often has an aspect of contribution to the world, be that sharing your art, products or services to the world. Being selfish while you work on your life purpose is more about filling your bucket from the never-ending stream of creativity, so you can share the water with others when you overflow. It has nothing to do with taking others water, which is pure selfishness.

What makes a coach a good coach? What makes a coach a bad coach? How do I differentiate between the two?

Principle centred valuation in lifes choices Vision Personal power (The ability to search and take action on whats meaningful to you) Gratitude

Yes, we are always trusting. A fulfilling life demands trust, as most things require some form of a 'leap of faith'. But it is important to not use trust as a means to absolve taking responsibility in your life. You need to use your assertiveness and resourcefulness to verify when there is a lot at stake. When to trust and when to verify is a fine line that takes wisdom to discern. A saying that my friends and I use a lot is to 'trust the process'. It is more used to help us push through uncomfortable times on our journey to reach personal goals. Looking in the mirror and not seeing any fat loss after 2 weeks of dieting. Trust the process. Working 5 hours everyday on your business and wondering if it is all worth it. Trust the process. Doing stretches every morning for 10 minutes and frustrated if its working or not. Trust the process. You need to believe in 'something' to push yourself when the going gets tough. Be it karma, God, or 'the process'. All require a leap of faith, a belief that the universe will reward you for your efforts, and that it will be totally worth it.

I agree with @outlandish and you need to drop this mentality right now. It will only lead you to despair and frustration. If you want to live a life of fulfilment, whatever you are following is not it. Here is why: It is based on scarcity mentality It is based on victim mentality It is based on a 'fixed' mindset It absolves taking responsibility These are beliefs that suck the joy out of life. They produce complacency and mediocrity. Can't you see that even thinking this way will make you feel more depressed? Ask yourself, if anyone who follows these beliefs, are they people you aspire to be? Are they people of high self-esteem that love life and are really going contributing something in the world? Why do I only find these beliefs only congregated in the drudges of the internet all throwing a pity party together, and not out in real life where people are actually doing things? The idea that the only reason these 'chads' can attract women is because of birth given genetics is just simply false. The real reason is most likely due to a combination of other things, all of which are in your control: They look after their bodies by working out or exercising (taking care of yourself shows self-esteem, which is attractive) They look after their hygiene (same as above) They live purposefully, going out into the world and taking action (this instils confidence, which is attractive) They know that talent is largely a myth that doesn't benefit their life, so they take responsibility in crafting the life they want They hang around people who have a positive outlook on life, and don't take things too seriously (playfulness is attractive) They fully embrace their masculine energy and display masculine traits (masculine energy is attractive to the feminine) etc. Note that none of these rely on genetics. They are all mindsets that lead to action and are empowering. The point I make here is to encourage you. To point out the real reasons behind attraction. You can be a 'chad' too. Don't lock yourself out by wallowing in negative beliefs. It doesn't matter if it is true or not, only if it is beneficial. The beneficial belief is to start grabbing life by the balls and making it your own. It is to change yourself and then change the world around you. Complainers play small, which creates loser mindsets. The real winners are those that stop comparing, and use that energy instead to start taking action. No more complaining, you are better than that. Instead, start working on yourself, and you can become an attractive man too. I believe in you.

Maybe go for a walk instead? Maybe separate your meditation area from your work area if possible?

Have something that excites you that you get to look forward to each morning Use your bedroom and bed ONLY for sleep (no phone/iPad/laptop in bed)

@Sartanion What you need is a strong vision. Something that you work towards that is so powerful and meaningful to you that it excites you just thinking about it. Poor Execution is not a problem of lacking knowledge, it is a problem of poor mindset. Note that having lots of knowledge does not equal having a great mindset. You need to acquire knowledge that directly addresses building a successful mindset. This is what Leo's LPC is for. His free YouTube videos mainly focus on knowledge, whereas his LPC goes right into mindset. Learned and applied correctly, and you will develop all the motivation you need to start taking action and see the effects first hand.

@Pernani Yes, I can verify this in my experience, however there is no way I can prove this to you, but I will try and illustrate it in words. You are not feeling fulfilled because you care too much about the results. You think the results or goals will make you happy, but I am here to burst your bubble. It won't. The exuberance of reaching a goal fades quickly. Hedonic adaptation happens. You become complacent and take it for granted. You may feel joy/excitment/relief when you get what you want, but not fulfilment. This may be hard to believe, because it is counter what today's society teaches you. But if you look back at the most fulfilling times in your life, you may get a glimpse of what I am saying. It's a mindset shift, and a very hard one at that. That's not to say that goals are bad. In fact you need those little dopamine hits of mini external success as positive reinforcement. But the fulfilment happens prior to this joy. When you are living your highest values and doing good in the world, you don't need anyone to pat you on the back. The very process of doing such is inherently fulfilling. Look back at your most fulfilling times in your life. Was it from the moment you obtained the trophies, or was it from the journey? What makes you think this time when I reach my goal I will be happy? What will you do afterwards? Will you still be happy 1 month after you achieve your goal? Or would you be happy again only once you start working on a new meaningful process?

Yes, authenticity is not static. It is forever changing, as you change. When someone is having an identity or life crisis, and they go to "find themselves", what they are doing is going to finding new values. Principles are values that stand the test of time. You will want to align your values with principles. This will become self-evident in a minute. Let me explain. Good values are composed of the following 3 categories: They are evidence-based They are constructive They are controllable This is opposed to shitty values, which are: Emotion based Destructive Uncontrollable Now, in both examples, the first 2 points are quite self-evident and don't necessitate explaining. The last category however, is one that most people don't know the full extent of. The values that are controllable can only come from within, and are not external to you. That is, they are process and mindset based, not results or goal orientated. Here are a few examples of values to illustrate: Getting a six-pack abs = shitty value (results based) Taking 100% resonsibility = Good value (process/mindset based) Making a million dollars = shitty value (results based) Showing up and putting in the hours = Good value (process based) Wanting everyone to like you = shitty value (externally based) Loving yourself regardless of others opinions = Good value Now, there isn't anything wrong with desiring external things, but that should not be the basis for your happiness or fulfilment. The very act (the process) of working towards your goals is what is fulfilling, not the result. This is why short-cuts to success make one feel empty. It is not the fame, status or money that people want. It is the fulfilment of working towards something meaningful. That is why it is so very important that your chose right values. If you are doing your life purpose so that you can be admired by others, then your life purpose sucks, because 99% of the time you be feeling deficient. If instead it is based on taking responsibility and working with integrity, everyday you can be a success. Hence responsibility and integrity are good principles to live by. These values are immovable and stand the test of time.

Identity is based on self-perception and boundaries, which are predicated on values. As you grow, your values will change, and so to will your desires Authenticity is living aligned with your highest values. Hence it is imperative that your life purpose is aligned with good values and not shitty values. Good values that are internally predicated and stand the test of time are called principles. (Steven Covey talks a lot about this).