christianblake

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About christianblake

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  1. @Jedd I have. It was a life changing product for me. I discovered I want to be a counselor / therapist of some sort, helping people overcome problems and issues in their life, and actualizing their true self. I’ve started college for my degree in counseing because of it. 7-8 year commitment because of the course, haha (bachelors + masters). My addictive behavior is my biggest obstacle rn, and being invested in my career path has given me more motivation understand the nature of addictions within me so I can help others. So yes, having identified my life purpose has allowed me to push through a lot of my addictive behavior. But I still find my addictions to be such a pervasive problem, even with having a life purpose. So I am dedicating all my effort now to overcoming this.
  2. I'm on the same boat as you @Jedd. I'm really trying to elevate my life to the next level, but the laziness and the addictions (porn, youtube, social media) are consuming me. Today I had an amazing first half. Woke up conscious, motivated, and pushed through resistance easily. But things started to change halfway through the day after getting a bunch of tasks done. I started to feel really negative. It happened very subtly but luckily I was aware enough to see what was going on. There wasn't really any mental chatter but it was my usual anxiety, fear of being, alone and abandoned by my girlfriend and friends that started to set in. This "anxiety" is something I've been battling for the few years. But this is what started the landslide of 2 hours of youtube and then 2 hours of porn that I just went through. As I watched more videos, and "zoned out" it just got harder and harder to regain consciousness. Maybe this can shed some light on your issue? It doesn't seem like I just naturally crave youtube or porn as an addiction, but maybe it's a way to escape, as @Vaishnavi was pointing to? I'm still working on this, and my plan is to continue to stay conscious and journal what happens even if I have a shitty day.
  3. I don't agree with SFRL. That is trying to fight fire with fire. You obviously have a connection with this girl, that you value. I'm assuming you're writing this because you feel a certain way, that's uncomfortable. Fear, anxiety, and worry about losing this person you care about. I will tell you that the reality is, that it is possible you can lose this girl. In reality, you will lose all your relationships sooner or later. (exisential topic, that I won't go to). But what you must do as an individual, is two things. #1. learn to cope with these feelings. A lot of these feelings stem from cognitive thougts and projections which are rooted in your psyche from your past (point #2). Become aware of your thoughts and what you are projecting she is doing. Are you unconsciously thinking that she's cheating on you, she's going to leave you? she's doesn't want you anymore? How realistic are these? Develop more realistic thought patterns. The second part of coping is dealing with emotions. Become aware of your emotions. What is this "feeling" you are experiencing right now as you worry about her. Realize that these are emotions, they come and go. #2 Go deep into yourself. Why is that you haven't had any deep connections before? What would happen if she left you? Is life over if this happens? This can be extremely complex and hard to do from the inside out. Talk with a therapist or counselor. It'll be worth more than 1 million dollars. As a bonus, learn to have self love. Accept that you have faults within yourself Be self-compassionate.. It'll make the process so much easier. I know this because this is something I struggle with too. About 7 months after being in a relationship with my first girlfriend, I swear I was going through panic attacks. I felt anxiety, and emotions that I haven't felt in years. I've learned to re-structure my thoughts, let my emotions pass through, and dig into my psyche to uncover these unexplored beliefs and emotions. Welcome to your journey, you'll learn so much about yourself if you continue to work on this issue. Go deep, don't look for external solutions (banging other girls), it'll just delay your healing you deserve.
  4. I've been finished with Leo's Life Purpose cover for over a few months now and I'm really getting into deep research and starting to take tangible action. I'm kind of stuck though. I'm fairly solid that this is the type of field or "science" I want to dedicate my life in. I just love learning about how the human psyche works and how to optimize performance and fulfillment in one's life. It's such an amazing field that I'm fortunate to be apart of. I'm fortunate to be born in the generation where we can learn content like this easily. And I want to be apart of this industry, I want to be a leading figure in this industry and change people's lives. I'm in a rut with the direction I'm going. For those who have finished the course I'm trying to make my "small bets" to see which type of niche or more specific field I want to get into it. I personally like understanding the big picture of personal development -- knowing everything and being a sort of all-in-one in coach -- but i'm open to the possibility of being passionate about a more specific area. LIke maybe more psycho-therapeutic work? Or maybe more towards helping people find their passions and career? I really don't know though. What are some 1-2 month projects that I can undertake to see which more specific field do I want to invest more time in? Leo recommends doing more "creative" projects like trying to create a rough draft of what you want and see if I enjoy it. How would I do that with personal development? I was thinking maybe writing articles on here on different concepts for a week straight for 2 months. Or taking life coaching for 2 months? Maybe going to a seminar. Or should I just be doing more studying, reseraching before I can even consider a sort of creative type of project? I've only been heavy in personal development for less than a year now, but i've spent everyday so far studying it. Any advice for getting traction with anybody on the same path as me?
  5. Agree with @Henri and @charlie2dogs. There are many different approaches to tackling addictions, resistance, or anything you don't consciously want. You can either try to manipulate your mind by visualizing the opposite --- let's say in a food addiction, when you feel the craving to eat that tub of ice cream in the fridge, one method to use can be to visualize the long term effects of eating ice cream. Seeing yourself fat in the future. Or you can do the opposite and try to positively motivate yourself by visualizing you being or staying lean in the future. Or maybe you can go and throw the ice cream in the garbage, theres lot's of ways to try to manipulate your psyche or your "lower" self into trying to not eat the ice cream. And these all take willpwoer or mental effort. But what Leo was referring to in his video on addictions he just recently posted was about getting to the deepest fix for addictions. Really feeling into it. Just observing it as it is until the feeling subsides. I find that it's a more effective technique than the other techniues I mentioned in the first paragraph. It really depends on your level of development. For someone new to personal development and wiith little awareness trying to obersve your emotions might not be the most effective thing. So you have these "superficial" techniques for preventing the consequence that you don't want want. But it's really up to you to gauge where you're at. I find that trying to do the superficial techniques become tiring after a while. They start to have diminishing returns in terms of it's effectiveness. I personally think you'll know when the right time is to switch to taking a mindful approach rather than a hard approach. It's good to have a lot of techniques in your arsenal though =)
  6. That's a good point. I understand what you're asking. I guess "doing nothing" is exactly what the ego doesn't want therefore it can reduce willpower. So I guess improving willpower is also strengthening the ego. In a healthy way.
  7. Anyone else experience loss of willpower throughout the day while doing "do nothing" meditation? Did "do nothing" meditation for about 2 months now. Started meditating late 2014 , and for over a year I did "breathing" meditation. Where I focused on my breath and when I noticed my thoughts would stray away I refocus attention back on breath. Tried "do nothing" and initially it was very confusing. After I while I learned to settle down and honestly I'm still not sure if I did the meditation right. I refered back to Leo's and Shinzen young videos but I what I noticed when reflecting back on that time period was that I had a drastic drop in willpower. I wouldn't be able to overcome urges such as random internet searching, porn, daydreaming, foods, -- anything that requires willpower. I recently went back to the type of mindfulness meditation, similar to the breathing meditation but incorporating more senses. Shinzen young calls it "noting". My willpower has gone up just only a few days back into it. So I just want to get some of your guys input on how "do nothing" has been affecting you. For me the biggest benefit was becoming more aware of no self and the concept that free will doesn't exist. Truly letting go made me realize how much we aren't in control of our thoughts. So I found it more useful for becoming enlightened than any other practical uses. But didn't realize expeirence any calm or other effects throughout the day. I think maybe doing both would be best. I might try the "do nothing" again down the road.
  8. So you're concerned about your how mental and physical energy while practicing your skills? A good baseline is just it have a consistent and progression oriented exercise routine, consistent nutrition, and consistent sleep which means the amount and the time you sleep should be the same everyday, If you follow through on all 3 of these your mental and physical energy will be fine. As for how it applies when practicing skills? Just be cautious of your mental energy or physical energy depending what your skill is while doing so. Any time your learning a new skill its going to take willpower. Mental or physical energy or both. It's a muscle you have to build. You may have to take frequent breaks when starting your new skill but overtime the muscle will build up. This is purely on the scale of using your will. On the other hand, Be smart as well and and strategically create time blocks for working on your skill. 2 hours of skill training and maybe 20 minutes of relaxing, youtube videos, music, whatever you want. Other strategies are subconscious programming (this takes the load of using your willpower everytime and pretty much essential to maintain a long term habit without falling off). Theres a lot of techniques. Research into productivity tips.
  9. Journaling. The absolute best way for self reflection. I've been journaling like a mad man the past 6 months. My inner development, maturity, growth are going straight through the roof. The thing with journaling is that you don't realize the impact it has until months down the road. It's very subtle. It takes some effort to start doing it and build a habit, but I'm at the point in my life where I'm journaling multiple times a day. Sometimes for hours if I have a certain situation I want to wrap my head around.
  10. @rush Not sure, just have a lot of questions. Could just be me personally.
  11. I get what you're saying. He talks about it in some of his enlightenment FAQ questions. Enlightenment is the ultimate goal and the key to your salvation and true freedom. At least from what I studied. But that doesn't mean you can't fix any of your emotional problems in the meantime. There are lots of ways to fix any negative emotion, which I'm assuming your reaching out for help for. I wish I could give you a definite answer but it varies on the severity and type of problem your encountering. If it's a very surface level problem. Such as a negative thinking habit, a not so deep limiting belief, laziness, etcc. then you can find a lot of simple fixes on Leo's channel. If it's a very deep emotional problem your seeking help for then you have to go deeper. The deeper the problem the deeper you have to dig. For things like depression, apathy, anxiety, fear, anything that's constant through your life. Not necessarily a one time thing, then it's time to start digging deeper. Read psyhcological books. Books that cover the concept of shadow work, childhood wounds, self-esteem. But you can also take a direction to just "bypassing" this obstacle. Like developing a deep life purpose, giving meaning to your life. Sometimes just taking such a positive direction in your life can completely or drastically reduce the effects of any crippling emotions. Do both in my opinion. Wish I could you a more tailored plan but I don't know your issue, nor am I extremely knowledgeable in this issue. Just want to reach out to you because I faced the dilemma before.
  12. Definitely recommend. Also check out his other books. I find that 6 pillars was, and still is, very hard to internalize and understand. Read his book "The Psychology of Self-Esteem" first.
  13. Someone said it earlier on the thread. Your confusing what you mean self help. I wouldn't say Tai Lopez preaches "self-help" he is more success oriented. And wonderful to say the least at that. If you want money, social status, some dating skills, and cool hobbies then he's your man. Essentially if you want an awesome external life. (which I do) then he's good for learning about that. As for deep internal psychological growth? wouldn't say so. I like to keep a dichotomy or separation when categorizing a lot of the informational content online. What is this person trying to preach? Does he live the life I want. There's essentially success oriented "self-help" channels and more "internal growth" channels. A lot of channels lean either way. Actualized.org leaning more towards internal change and growth. I prefer psychological growth, deeper understandings rather than an exciting successful life. But hey...why not both?
  14. Can you clarify? Well-being as in what? emotional stability?
  15. Would ask this in the spirituality, enlightenment forum. Eckart Tolle does an excellent job explaining the concept of time. Think in the 'Power of Now' or 'A New Earth'