Psyche_92

Facing the child inside of me, by experiencing and accepting unresolved and suppressed pain from the past. Took some time for it to become a fun activity though.

Have you seen this video?

I definitely advice you to start a meditation habit. Meditate everyday for at least 20 mins, don't skip a day. Also mindfulness is something very effective over time. Facing the pain head on is also very effective, but not easy to do, especially If your ego is too clogged.

For those of you who are familiar with the course and bought it, at the moment i'm at vid 48, and i'm feeling a lot of resistance. My mind is coming up with so much rationalizations on how the things i write down are impossible to achieve, or simply too much out of this world. I know this is my ego at work (limiting beliefs and anxiety), but i can't seem to "ignore" it and move on with the exercises. I'm stuck. Now what? One part of me knows that the things i want to write down are possible over time, and another part starts to come up with a lot of rationalizations and anxiety, mostly about my past, and i'm kind of comparing my goals to my past and what i've been through, which make my goals seem impossible.

Basically this. You are on the boat now, and the sail has been set. If any of the work you've done has made some significant change in your life so far, or even a small one, you will come back soon. You can't just leave it behind anymore. At least that's what i experienced.

I relapsed yesterday, yet again. I can't believe i've gone 61 days in the past. Still haven't watched porn in 31 days though.

I guess i'm on NoSex since i have no gf.

Awareness alone is curative :D.

Goodluck man, you will need it :D.

Can confirm. Today is day 7, and earlier today i had a very hard time not relapsing. I was feeling ecstatic and super horny. At the moment i'm feeling kind of mellow and frustrated. Shit is weird Af.

You are not doing this solely for girls, are you?

Oh man, i don't know where to start. Her parents are insane, but i leave my opinion in the middle. For now. I'm going to try and give you guys a brief overview which is hard ( so much shit going on ). I'm basically in a "relationship" with her for about 6 months. I'm saying "relationship" because we only meet for like 1-4 times a month, which involves quick 1 hour meet-ups after her school and stuff. It all started after the first meeting with her parents, and that basically was also the start of this hell. I was together with her for 3 months, when i finally got invited over to her house. As i got there, i could quickly notice her big house, and i could already tell that her parents were rich ( my parents are not rich, but middle class kinda). We got inside her house, and her parents were waiting for me inside, immediately commanding me to put my jacket in the hallway. Her father gave me a hand, and he was kind of friendly, but her mother was distant and seemingly not so much interested. After some small talk ( which i always hated ), her father went to his desk to work, and her mother started cooking in the kitchen. I went to the living room with my gf ( not allowed to go to her room), and we started watching a movie. As we were watching the movie, i sensed something being off. My gf ( 21 ) started to cuddle up against me, kissing me on my cheeks and stuff, when all of a sudden her mom stood in front of us, telling her that she has no manners, and that actions like that are unacceptable ( after this, her father started checking on us every 15mins, (LOL this was fucking insane)). I didn't really know what to say, but i was kind of shocked. I also didn't really care about staying any longer, but i gave it a shot. As the dinner was ready, we were asked to come to the table. Her mother was standing in the kitchen, looking at me with an angry face, telling me to wash my hands before sitting at the table, because those were "the rules of the house". By that time i really wanted to go home, and i was thinking about some good excuse to leave, but i was too scared to do so. As we were sitting at the table, her mom started telling us to sit further apart from each other, and that we had to hold our hands above the table ( i was murdering her in my imagination by now ). It was fucking quiet at the table, and all of a sudden her mom asks me this fucked up question: "Hey, i wonder why did you choose our daughter?", "She's somewhat chubby for a skinny guy like you isn't she?". I didn't know what to say, and i couldn't believe what was happening to be honest. After dinner i told my gf with a small excuse that i had to go home, because i really didn't want to stay any longer. I entered my car, and i knew i was in trouble. As i came home, my girlfriend had already called and texted me several times. She was crying, and she told me that her parents didn't approve of me, and that i was very bad mannered, because i didn't thank them for the dinner ( i forgot about it due quickly wanting to go home ). Her parents also told her that i wouldn't be a good husband, because i couldn't take care of her ( i was unemployed, but studying IT at that time ). It was also by that time, her parents didn't want her to see me anymore, and started to get paranoid. By now we are still "together" but shit has only gotten worse. Shit that's happened after the first meeting: -Her parents are spying on her every time she leaves the door, and we already caught them following us several times. -Whenever she leaves the house and they don't know where she is, they call and text her until her phone literally explodes. -Her sister texted me a half page of text on FaceBook some weeks ago, in short saying that i need to stop terrorizing her family, or that she's going to harm me with something. ( she's 16 and a feminist) -Her parents went to my ex girlfriends house, asking her parents about me -Her parents are accusing me of being a drug-dealer ( i think my ex twisted the story i once told her, about experimenting with drugs, just to fool me or something) I don't know what to do honestly. I can't call this shit love anymore, and i'm starting to think that i'm being disrespectful to myself for staying in this hell. Her parents are literally insane and need to get some help in my opinion. With a little bit of luck i'm seeing her for an hour every month, and by now i'm almost not caring about it anymore. We are always arguing, even in the short amount of time we can spend together. She also keeps telling me that her parents are perfect, and that they are just being "overprotective". I know being unemployed is not something to be proud of, but at the moment i can't really help it, and it also shouldn't be a reason for their parents to treat me like that immo. They are just very materialistic based, and only care about status and money, which is very obvious by now. I'm wondering what you guys think about whole this situation? I feel like i have to ditch her and move on with my life.

I have to agree with you on this one.

I came to the conclusion that i sunk into nihilism without being conscious of it. It's pretty scary now that i think about it. I've became unconscious and totally identified with my ego again. I know this, because today i woke up out of it. After this happened, i could see where the past month i've been identified with my ego, and where i was playing the victim. I could also see where unnecessary conflicts could have been avoided if i would have been conscious. It seems that i fell into a trap, after watching YouTube video's on Non-duality and reading theories about it. All this rambling made me quit my routines, and it immediately had an effect on my energy levels, which only now is obvious again. I ate low quality food, didn't care about my hygiene that much, and i totally forgot about the real meaning of life and pursuing my deepest passion/purpose. I basically woke op out of it, after having a conversation with a recruiter from a temporary agency today. She was asking me questions about my ambitions, and she triggered something critical, which made me tell her a lot of stuff that i had seemed to forgotten about. Anyways, i don't want to fall into this again, and i'm wondering if i have to stay away from non-duality territory for some time. I know i can't really prevent things like these from happening, and that sitting with heavy confusion is good for my growth, but i rather stay away from it for now. For the future though, i want to merge this with my self-development work without getting stuck, and i'm wondering if any of you guys have some tips for me.

It will work, it just takes some discipline. I got to day 61 before.

Day 2 LUL.

You just do it. At the start it's going to hurt, but then it becomes kind of fun. Over time you can make a game of it to challenge yourself.

Yea, same here. It would at least appeal a little bit more to me than solving basic issues with clients ( i think ). The question is, how many clients will you get that are dealing with things like these. My last therapist told me that i was the only one that ever spoke to her about non-duality, and that it's very uncommon. She told me that most people are satisfied with getting their small problems "fixed", and that they don't really dig any deeper. Of course she had clients that were dealing with existential questions, but they were mostly based on basics.

Hey, I'm wondering how to decide on a career. I've been thinking a lot about what job i would like to do, but i feel like i can't decide on which one to pursue. For a long time i've been having a dilemma between two options, and i just can't decide on it. A year ago i almost applied to become a police officer, but didn't go through with it, because i've read somewhere that you won't make a chance if you got into contact with any drugs in your past. Since that time, i didn't really care much more about becoming a police officer, but it kind of left a feeling on me. I think i would make a good officer, and it's kind of lame that i can't apply because i've experimented with some drugs in the past, which is like 6 years ago. I'm not sure if the law in America is the same, but at least in Belgium they are very strict. Anyways, i left it at that, and started to get into self development, which got me into Psychology. I became very interested in Psychology, and started reading a lot of books and stuff about it. After 2 years of reading and learning, i got the idea of studying Psychology in university, to become a psychotherapist later on. I went to some information day, and i feel like Psychology resonates a lot with me, but i'm still not sure. There is still a doubt, which i can't really pinpoint. I forgot about becoming a police officer all together, but it all of a sudden came back a week ago. I don't know what it is, but something keeps dragging me into it. I don't know how to choose. I want them both.

I’m doing the course :p. At the moment i’m at the start of the life purpose exercises. I don’t even know why i’m still doubting my purpose, since everything keeps leading me to Psychology and becoming a therapist. I have a strange feeling that it’s not doubt, but rather being scared to take the leap. It would be a big step out of my comfort zone.

Good idea. When i went to an information day in my local university, i had a conversation with a prof and he said that existential therapy was an upcoming field. I’m not sure if this is true though, but it sounds interesting.

You sound like the perfect partner for her. Do you want her phone number?

Hello, A lot of people say that you shouldn't listen to your thoughts, and that 95% of them are unnecessary rumble. I feel if i do that, i wouldn't do anything at all, because right now my actions are based upon the thoughts i get in my mind. At least that's what it feels like. Is this true or false?