MM1988

I think I shouldnt even be here posting about this like a clueless teenager.I'm 30 in a couple weeks I think its time for me to see a therapist about this.

@Feel Good thats completely different advice than @Arkandeus is giving here. shit I'm so confused.

@Arkandeus by the way, would you say generally speaking is it okay to maybe just hold hands on one meeting, then kiss on the second and have sex some time later? Or is that too slow for girls and they will think they guy is not confident and bold enough. Because I'm not sure if I could pull that off. I mean I'm sure there are some Jock type of guys who will do this without problems, but average guys get into relationships too. I wonder are they all that bold and sexually aggressive when alone wirh a girl? I honestly feel like I'm missing something natural all guys seem to have. I know some really nerdy passive guys with girlfriends and I just cant imagine that they would behave that way, but still for them having girlfriends is just a totally natural part of life they dont even think about. Yet for me its a constant struggle since puberty.

@Arkandeus you are right, next time ill go for her hand, and if shes okay with that Ill just go for the kiss. Thats probably a better strategy. However with that one girl she already said via text some time before shes not interrested in more than friendship when I confronted her, I thought her coming to my place alone was a green sign but I doubt it. Whatever she thought before, now that I made my move without confidence I guess its over for good. I wont text her again, if she shows any interest after that I might give it another go. I hope I dont fuck up next time im alone with some girl. I'm just not a naturally smooth guy and I get anxious in these situations because it never worked in the past. I also agree that asking a girl about the past is useless, she would never admit I had a chance, especialy because that girl has a boyfriend now. Thanks for your help.

@Arkandeus you might be right about my friend but she said something else too. She said if a girl wants you to make a move she will give you the feeling that you CAN make a move. And thats exactly what was missing in my situation. My intuition told "nope, dont do it" and my logic told me "do it or youll regret it". And I think my intuition is right because it was always awkward later and my moves were never smooth. I ve seen what a girl wanting you to make a move looks like with friends, and if that were my situation i wouldnt be asking here, its really obvious. Im really more the platonic guy who suddenly has a dick. @Truth Know them from friends etc. No strategy to attract them, I just try to get closer to them. I just ask them if they want to hang out at some point. I was never chased by a girl in my life. I think they come over in a platonic manner. I dont text with that girl anymore after the " incident" and she doesnt either. If I go by past experiences shes probanly hooking up with one of my friend on the weekend.

because I got curious I asked one of the previous women Im still friends with and she said she had no interest and would have stopped me if I'd gone further so my intuition was correct.

@Arkandeus Well this was the situation with the last girl. Let me know what you think. She came and sat away from me, so after drinking some wine and talking for a while I said to her to sit near me , she asked "why?" but still did it (I put her glas near me). Then as we talked I touched her back a couple times. She didnt react to it. After a while she stood up. Then I stood up too and we talked further, I touched her back again, no reaction. Then she sat down away from me again and shortly after she said shes going home now. I mean to me this was a clear sign not to push it any further. Are you 100% sure I should have gone for it? Do you think I might have fucked it up with her now because I wasnt more agressive? In my opinion these girls are shocked that someone they see as a friend would do that and too socially awkward / passive to say anything. I mean this is like me making basically EVERY step without geting a single sign of interrest back. Is that REALLY how its supposed to happen? I saw this same girl being very forward with some of my friends, buying them drinks, touching them and begging them to stay etc.

@Arkandeus Because she doesnt show any affection to me in return. I know a girl who would be attracted to me would lean in or touch me too. Usually they just ignore it and go home shortly after, its just an awkward situation all around. Most girls wouldnt go "eww" or are to passive to confront me about not touching her, especially if we are friends. There is just nothing of that sort coming back from them even after I made the first step. I think they just hope I get the message and move on. If she doesnt react positively I just stop right there, no reason to try and kiss her if she doesnt even react positively to a touch. I though her coming to my flat alone is a big sign too, thats where I always get the idea to make a move, but I guess it isnt.

@pluto how is it more dangerous to redose? I dont come up on redoses like on the first dose, they just keep me at a steady level, thats because most of the serotonin is gone by that point. I redose about 1/2 the original doses. On high initial doses too much serotonin could me released at once which could lead to a deadly serotonin syndrome. I saw people accidentaly overdosing on just a bit more than the dose you recommend and believe me it wasnt spiritual or anything for them, they were fucked up as if they are blacking out from alcohol almost unable to stand, thats not what MDMA is about. My advice would be to redose just once or dont do it, but never ever take a double dose. And even though its rare people have died from pure MDMA

@pluto thanks for the advice but dont recommend people taking 2,5mg/kg that is a dangerous dose.

@Leo Gura Mostly at raves, but I did small amounts at home too and the effect was basically the same. The MDMA was pure because I live in Central Europe and you can get high quality tested dutch pills easily. Also I definitely dont have a high tolerance, I had comeups that were so intense I had to sit down for a good 15 minutes to handle it. It can get intense, just not spiritual. I also have friends who do it exclusively at home, alone and for them its just a recreational thing too. In my experience every MDMA trip is basically the same, it just pushes you into that positive mindset with varying intensitiy depending on your dose.

@Joseph Maynor you are joking right? Leo would not make such a video if there is a life purpose course.

Hes uploading a 10 hour video

@AdamDiC Tests kits will only show you if mdma is in it, could still be spiked with poison, but ill be honest the chances are slim.

@AdamDiC by the way im not entirely sure if what you did was MDMA, there is no way that you dropped it at 6:30 and peaked 5 1/2 hours later at 12:00. I and nobody I know ever had that kind of experience from pure MDMA. See this chart, its pretty accurate but from my personal experience its even milder, after a 10-20 min comeup I plateau for only about 1 hour and then it goes down. After 4 hours everybody should mostly be back to earth. No way you peaked after 5 hours from mdma. Maybe you got MDA or some Research Chemicals mixed in.

Im a big fan of Rave music and MDMA, dont get me wrong I think its amazing but it has nothing to do with spirituality for me.

I dont get it, I took MDMA at least 20+ times and I never had any insights like this. I dont even get the emphaty and love thing. It is amazing but honestly all it does is make me a bit dizzy, lifting up my mood and make music sound awesome if im totally honest. My LSD Trip was simmilar, strange body feelings and thoughts but it mostly felt like im just one some drug and it wasnt world shattering or anything, same with 2-CB. I guess psychedelics arent for me - maybe im too left brained/autistic?

Sadhguru claims that cooked food will rot like its been out for 28 days during a lunar eclipse and turn into poison. If you ingested it before it will rot in your stomach and make you sick. Why is he claiming such a thing that anybody can easily proof for himself. Okay, I didnt have food out during the eclipse but I bet if I had nothing would have happened to it. If I knew about this beforehand I woudl have tried it out of curiousity. Ive had food in me during the eclipse and I didnt notice anything. Wouldnt there be an epidemic of people going sick in the west during an eclipse since most people here dont know about this. But no such thing has happened, yet he sits there and just claims this to be true. Simmilary OSHO claimed in one of his books that if you make a needle float on water in a cup and concentrate on it for 10 minutes you can make it turn left or right. He didnt talk about yogis but everyday people and urged the reader to try it. So I did, for about an hour. It didnt work. So I have direct evidence of both of these claims that they are bullshit. I dont get it what they are talking about, is this supposed to have a subtler deeper meaning? Then why are they talking so literally, Sadhguru even has the food out in front of his feet.

I would not do LSD the first time even though its suggested here a lot. Its was too long for me, I dont want to it again even though it was not bad. A better first timer would be 2-cb.

You stand in front of a wall and move all your prana up the third eye, then you run head first into the wall while chanting ohm. The trip lasts a couple hours and you might wake up in a hospital, but dont worry this is normal.

Next: How to become enlightened: punching head against the wall method

Soo after experimenting around with Yoga for a couple days im still unsure if i should continue even though I like the techniques. Ive been doing daily meditation for about 1 1/2 years now, but I still have problems with depression, anxiety and relationships. ive also read some scary stuff about the dangers of yoga if you are not ready. So Im not sure if yoga would simply accelerate what Im doing with mediation anyway and I should switch it out or if I should keep on doing simple mindfullness meditation until I feel my life is fully in order. Any suggestions?

This is one of the things I just cant believe. All these talk about dangers of yoga and meditation. Ive pretty deep into this spirituality thing but I just cant believe that this stuff can happen from just sitting and watching my breath. Also I cant believe that I could mentally screw myself up for life by just visualizing stuff, tucking my belly in, rolling in my tongue etc. as it is with yogic techniques. Is there any validity at all to this?

He said he will dig them up sometime in the future in a thread