I’ve been doing self inquiry for about two 2 months consistently and one thing I theme I noticed reoccuring is this deep existential fear that comes once in a while.
I just had it again. It was after Leo’s video on strange loops that I started self-inquiry. I sat down with already much fear in my body, my heart beating heavily, and the fealing of fear shivering throughout my entire body.
At some point, it got so bad, if felt like my body was actually thinking it was going to die. I started feeling lightheaded, my heart beating so fast I couldn’t sense its rythem anymore, it was the scariest moment of my life.
I became aware of the deep, deep attachement I have with existing. To the point where I had to stop the inquiry because it felt like my heart was going to explode.
How can I help my body accept and surrender to not being a self?
How can I change the deep belief that my body will die during this process?
Surrendering to this litteraly felt impossible. It was against my entire intuition of being human whatsoever.