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About Proactive

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  • Birthday 12/21/1999

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  1. I think the urge to fap is greater than the fear of death 😄 have you tried joining in on no nut november?
  2. my opinion isss no-fap is good for increasing levels of energy. I only did it for 30 days in the beginning, I had lots of energy in my lower body, but I had decided to move it upwards. Felt nice, got shit done. Then I felt no energy for a while, drained sorta. Then it came back, but this time there was a lot of energy in my head, and maybe I should've moved that energy downwards. felt too narrow minded, and too focused. I fapped, and everything openned up, it was a insane experience 🤯 Fapping is a way to bring feminine energy into our life. But if we can find other ways of using feminine energy, It's better.
  3. Thought i'd actually do my last post for this journal so the reason i'm going off on my own is due to conflicting values with my goal isn't to become more conscious, or go deep into spiritual practices. Or be enlightened. The things leo values is not what will help me achieve me goals. By staying so involved in this community, I am unconsciously taking on the same values as it. I just want to create my own value system and such. Why do I do spiritual practices? The present moment is amazing. It's where I want to be. I want to be focused, we do miss a lot of things in the present if we are living elsewhere. DISCONNECTION why? do we despise feeling disconnected? it's just a feeling of emptiness, of dissasociation. It's just a feeling in the heart, and in the mind. Maybe some visuals. There is no reason to run away from disconnection. It will come when you are alone, just like how you will become hungry when you don't eat.
  4. my time has come to an end I was once young like you, eager to learn, full of energy. be grateful while you still have it ughhhh I'm going to try out being a hermit of the internet. Secluded in one-note and other note taking devices. Maybe even something called "paper". Thought i'd try those ancient things out. stop consuming such shallow content. It's time to go deep, really deep. I'm afraid i'm going to suffer. I've suffered a lot in this lifetime. well, idk what else to do. Lets run into the suffering, try to atleast. but it'll be ok, i'll survive. Or I may not, whatever
  5. if I were to take a blank piece of paper to represent all knowledge I know of reality the amount I would know is less than an atom on that piece of paper. it's literally 0%
  7. @electroBeam thanks for the reminder even though I try to derive shit by myself I do admit that these videos effect me subconsciously.
  8. even a homeless guy has some shit to be grateful for he gets to watch the sun rise and fall. He gets to breathe in air. why don't I get shit to be grateful for? Why don't I get to be grateful for life when my parents die? when I lose my freedom?
  9. @Raptorsin7 hehe, being homeless ain't that bad.(When I imagine it) help no-one but me. Nobody needs it more.😙 😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙 😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙 😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙 😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙😙
  10. @oMarcos YEHHHH, I FORGOT WAT IT FELT LIKE TO NUTT. IT WAS SO FOREIGN. one thing I notice is that when I nutt, I am more prone to use up all my time watching youtube or something. I get absorbed into it.
  11. oh wowzas. Leos recent videos are actually prettee guuuud. Love and fear. and death. so if all fears stem from death, and there's no need to be afraid of death because it's already going to happen. Then there's no need to fear anything. Don't let the fear override you. What's the worst that can happen if I fail school. I spend year, upon year, upon year. like 7 years to graduate. Now i'm 100k in debt. Ok? Then this makes me unable to have free time. I spend all my days working at mcdonalds. I get so depressed I can't even hold that job. my parents then continue to work even though they are unable to trying to help me. I have no friends, and am just held up in my room. My parents die early, and i'm left alone with no income. I become homeless and I go on the streets. My health is horrible from staying in the room. I can't see, I have back pain. where was i going with this again? FIND OUT TOMORROW, CUZ I HAVE TO SLEEP AND WORK TMR.
  12. lean into the pressure
  13. so i'm a really competitive person. I work so fucking much when there's competition. I do have a lot of confidence when it comes to competition, I was lucky to have been an underdog so many times in my life. People in real life usually underestimate me. Thought i'd use this drive for competition I have. I'm going to see if I can be in competition with myself. With the same drive? I'm going to be better than myself yesterday. I really like this video. This is what my life should be like. It should have dragons and shit. A'ight, i'm going to be better than myself from yesterday. I'm going to be better than I was yesterday. I am going to be so concentrated, I'm going to go so far in the path of mastery.
  15. mb, I have absolutely no idea if your lost or not. I was just assuming you were in the situation as me 😉.