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About Proactive

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  • Birthday 12/21/1999

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  1. hey you should add me on league, my ign is qreative. I'm trying to quit the game but i'll probably play during breaks between semesters
  2. He's on the cliff, hovering above darkness as I fall down into it, going farther and farther away from him. I reach my hand out, but I can't reach him He doesn't even notice me. No matter how hard I try to reach for him. Darkness. There is peace down here.
  3. Ultimately this is your choice you have to make for yourself. If this were me, I would probably not have the baby. You and your girlfriend would have to sacrifice a lot. While your like 22, your friends will be out having fun while you are staying home taking care of the child. You guys are probably not financially stable, so it would be much harder than if you guys waited to get jobs then get children. I'm not a parent btw hehe @The Don I doubt having a baby will take a "small part" of your life if you are loving the child.
  4. I think your doing great ? Inspiring me Maybe one day i'll start approaching girls I have no idea if this'll work in this context, but a little body language thing I was taught in my old job. When greeting them, nod upwards instead of a curt downwards nod will make you seem like somebody they know ?
  5. hope doesn't exist, it just doesn't you are going to die, I'm going to die and nothing will justify your experience.
  6. @Zigzag Idiot I liked it, thanks ?
  7. Hi, I am darkness
  8. I think the urge to fap is greater than the fear of death ? have you tried joining in on no nut november?
  9. my opinion isss no-fap is good for increasing levels of energy. I only did it for 30 days in the beginning, I had lots of energy in my lower body, but I had decided to move it upwards. Felt nice, got shit done. Then I felt no energy for a while, drained sorta. Then it came back, but this time there was a lot of energy in my head, and maybe I should've moved that energy downwards. felt too narrow minded, and too focused. I fapped, and everything openned up, it was a insane experience ? Fapping is a way to bring feminine energy into our life. But if we can find other ways of using feminine energy, It's better.
  10. Thought i'd actually do my last post for this journal so the reason i'm going off on my own is due to conflicting values with my goal isn't to become more conscious, or go deep into spiritual practices. Or be enlightened. The things leo values is not what will help me achieve me goals. By staying so involved in this community, I am unconsciously taking on the same values as it. I just want to create my own value system and such. Why do I do spiritual practices? The present moment is amazing. It's where I want to be. I want to be focused, we do miss a lot of things in the present if we are living elsewhere. DISCONNECTION why? do we despise feeling disconnected? it's just a feeling of emptiness, of dissasociation. It's just a feeling in the heart, and in the mind. Maybe some visuals. There is no reason to run away from disconnection. It will come when you are alone, just like how you will become hungry when you don't eat.
  11. my time has come to an end I was once young like you, eager to learn, full of energy. be grateful while you still have it ughhhh I'm going to try out being a hermit of the internet. Secluded in one-note and other note taking devices. Maybe even something called "paper". Thought i'd try those ancient things out. stop consuming such shallow content. It's time to go deep, really deep. I'm afraid i'm going to suffer. I've suffered a lot in this lifetime. well, idk what else to do. Lets run into the suffering, try to atleast. but it'll be ok, i'll survive. Or I may not, whatever
  12. if I were to take a blank piece of paper to represent all knowledge I know of reality the amount I would know is less than an atom on that piece of paper. it's literally 0%
  14. @electroBeam thanks for the reminder even though I try to derive shit by myself I do admit that these videos effect me subconsciously.
  15. even a homeless guy has some shit to be grateful for he gets to watch the sun rise and fall. He gets to breathe in air. why don't I get shit to be grateful for? Why don't I get to be grateful for life when my parents die? when I lose my freedom?