Girzo

Review older material if you want more. There's still a lot of juice in some episodes. And some of the episodes are so deep, that watching them even 3 times is not enough, so you can also do that. There's no need for Leo to release more weekly epsiodes. I would actually prefer to see a new course or excerpts from his book, rather than watching more weekly stuff. I mean a week is not even enough to incorporate knowledge from one episode into your life. Why would you want to have even less time?

#29 - My leg hurts, my mood hurts. MOOD TRACKER UPDATE: It's hard to overestimate power of psychedlics

It's a September's calendar page illustration I had to do for school. "Grzyby" means shrooms in Polish.

this hole is there for the Light to shine through

I don't know anything about your niche, but there is this Netflix's documentary called "Hot Girls Wanted" showing how amateur porn bussiness works. You might want to watch it and see how it looks like.

When I have tripped on AL-LAD there was a lot of symbolism. It wasn't as cosmic as you describe, but more "classic" like devils, fire, sun, eye, reflections of mirrors in the mirrors, in the mirrors, etc. I haven't really thought about focusing on those colorful geometric shapes, there was so much stuff going beside them, I was too distracted. I will try next time, if you say it's worth it.

@Peter Zemskov That's a thing with emotions. They go up and down, up and down...

#28 - Fuck it. I have fainted again. Why do I stress so much about a leg? + I went to a hospital. It turns out it's just a stress and I am perfectly healthy, all the results were good. It took around 5 hours, but a sense of relief is worth that. I was prescribed Tramadol as a painkiller. I am not taking it because of possible interactions with effects of LSD I took a week ago. I will wait those 10 days minimum to regain tolerance. Also it has a terrible list of side-effects and is basically an opium, which is in my opinion an overkill for my symptoms.

It's not a crazy thought at all. Some would even say: "Why just one month?!". There are many ways to support that kind of lifestyle, ex. freelancing over the internet or building a profitable bussiness and then selling it for a big sum. Or cutting down expenses and living in a van as mentioned. But too much traveling could become a distraction, so your option sounds quite balanced. Whatever you choose, I wish you luck on your journey!

In moments like these I like to look at myself and examine if I really am that detached or just repressing my feelings. Non-dual techings are good at hiding this disconection, not solving it. Maybe taking a look into Shadow Work or bioenergotherapy would be beneficial for you. It was a case for me, maybe it will also be for you.

#27 + I am tired, but my awareness is high as never. - Which may be not so high, because I got so happy when school ended that I fell off the stairs and have broken my leg. I want it to make me sad, but it's by some weird reason not the case. - After that I have fainted and tripped into darkness. It was scary. As I was coming back there were more and more trippy visuals and I felt enormous anxiety and being trapped. Then suddenly ego popped back into it's place and I became a normal person again. I know it took only a few clock minutes, but felt much longer. Like much, much longer, but can't tell exactly. I thought it's interesting, because I have fainted in the past, but never remembered that altered reality. And it isn't a cosy place at all. Really, I don't want to go back there at all... +- Based on that story and fear I felt, I can say I am not ready for enlightement. But I guess no-one is...

I find your replies to her funny as hell. So I suppose she doesn't react well only because of how you are saying it, not what. Work on that and don't be butthurt.

I do translations on Fiverr.

#26 + Psychedelics really did sky-rocket my consciousness level. Now I really know what self-inquiry done right feels like. I wonder how long it will last. +- I have had a lot emotional release throughout the day. It happens subconsciously. I think it might be related to the fact that I am currently reading "Love, Sex and Heart" by Alexander Lowen. + I paid a guy to do a job for me today. Feels entrepreneurial. TOPICS TO RESEARCH: Art of conversation, hiring and working with people.

@Highest That's a vague answer.

#25 + I have shed a tear during today's self-inquiry session. My two favourite questions are: "Who am I?" and "What am I?" asked repeatedly. When I start to wander off in my mind I just go back to them. +- Work, work, work. - I feel like there's a lot of pain and sadness hidden deep inside of me. But what is me? + And now I feel happy. Weird thing.

I wanted to make a joke and ask how can you know that, is there any map. But then I thought, wait, there are ox's pictures. Where would you put yourself on that scale and how long did it take you to get there?

Have a BIG vision where you are going with your life. Then jest remember your vision when you are making a choice, so it will guide you. For example, if your goal is to clean your diet and you are about to put a chocolate bar into your mouth, then don't just think about how it will affect your weight, but also notice that becoming fat will decrease your attractiveness, which will make it harder for you to date, which will affect your overall happiness in life and that wil make a pursuit of Enlightment harder. You get it. Go over the top with that kind of reasoning. Knowing where you are in your life and where you want to be is enough to break through most of excuses. (For me, at least )

#24 + Psychedelics elevate consciousness level long-term for sure. + Self-inquiry is now much deeper (but still shalow) - I get distracted a lot.

Cool report. What's the substance and dosage? I assume al-lad, because of duration, am I right?

#23 + walked through the fields, looking with marvel at nature. encountered a wild cat and investigated boars' footprints.

I wouldn't force myself to like all these little things as they are, but I would look for a way to make them more interesting. You know, like breaking out of your comfort zone and actually talking to strangers when going out, instead of sticking to friends. Do only a stuff that is wortwhile in your opinion.

@Little Plant don't be so quick, because they do have a potenial to damage. Even if it's not the substance ifself, there are still thousands of outside factors that can harm you. Unsafe environment, cross-reactions with other drugs you take, misslabeling of the drug or hidden diseases. For example, I have a light heart disease and need to babystep every substance, because otherwise I would feel pain for days and could damage my heart. It was a case with my first psychedelics trip, even tho it was only about 60mcg (AL-LAD).

#22 + I have been using my new creative power to create images in Photoshop. It's fun. + I met with my friend and we had a deep conversation about a sense of direction in life and motivation to become your best-self. - I have slept 5 hours.

You may stop doing it, because it feels unpleasant, not because it's evil. It's you who assign meaning to certain emotions. It's not ultimate, because not everyone is compassionate and feels bad about needless harm. Do you really think that serial killers have any remorse about what they do? Or do you believe that your view on morality is superior to theirs? It's a different type of question. The problem here is neurosis and two opposite forces fighting over control of you. On intellectual level you kind of know that it harms you, but on a deeper level you are still hooked to the instant gratification it gives you and value it more than long-term results. The solution here is a deeper insight, supported by brutal honesty about yourself. Notice that watching porn is only bad from your own perspective. Nobody else gives a fuck about you watching porn really, unless they have problems with their life bigger than yours.