Nahm

@tsuki Sorry to hear that man. I had some thoughts on a couple other things in your response, but if and when the time is right HMU. Love & healing to you brother, I hope there’s clarity and relief for both of you asap.

Swallow what?

This is kind of a hunch, but I suspect, that you have an underlying belief, or really, an expectation, that first someone else must think like you do....then they can communicate with you. This is often referred to (if you want to google and read about it)....as “needing to be understood”. That is the single biggest relationship killer there is, because of it’s underlying falsity. And speaking only on your behalf, it’s so taxing. It’s like carrying 100 lbs of armor with you, everywhere you go. Mentally, this is exhausting, because rather than just experiencing the one thought at a time simplicity of living, a whole construct “must” be employed, just for anyone to talk with you. It’s heavy suffering, indicative of a history of suppressing, rather than releasing.

Are you seeing that one thought arises at a time. Period. No exception, ever, for any person, ever ? Or does it seem to you that statement is not true? Just let her read what I wrote. Let her react to it, rather than assuming you know how she’ll see it. She might see that this means when you get angry at her, and later feel bad for it, rather than feeling better by apologizing, you are sort of by default positioned to inspect how & why you got angry, and how & why you ‘took it out on her’. What becomes very clear, very quickly, is that it had nothing to do with her. The statement “Anger is also God / Self” is a powerful one imo. This is because it points directly to the fact that love & anger are directly related, not separate as might be assumed. Through the lens of “then how are they the same”...one must look at themself...how they “link together” if you will, is that the entirety is only going on in your thought & feeling relationship. It takes everyone else out of the picture, past, and present (wife)...this leaves you inspecting your thoughts & feeling, to begin seeing the anger arises in your perspective, your interpretation. Continued, the root when seen, is judgement of self and or other. This judgement of self & other might be, and likely is, related to the past. But in “anger is God too”, the past is viewed only from the present. This perspective takes away the facet or “reliving of the past”, and addresses the NOW of it. This however, goes back to the first question, if you are able to see that we experience only one thought at a time. If you can see that, then you can begin to see that the feeling, has only to do with the one thought right now. That the one arising thought feels the way it does, because of the perspective about the past, not because of the past. (Getting down to this actuality is very easy when talking, and very difficult in this typing / delayed form of communication btw.) In that vein, if a thought about the past comes up, notice it is not the past, it is a thought about the past. What I see going on here, is rather than acknowledging the simple fact that we experience one thought at a time, and how that one thought feels....thoughts are being believed, such as the story of the inner wounded child. I totally get that perspective, and I appreciate it. But, that inner child is being used as a scapegoat to some extent. Put boldly for the sake of communication through text... you said “it takes the wheel and throws a tantrum”....which is a very different perspective that “I keep throwing tantrums”. In that confusion, then, as you have already fragmented yourself, you then judge yourself, via judging “what the inner child did”. Then, you’re trying to understand you wife’s needs, but you’re doing so holding that “third party”, the “wounded inner child” in place. So, what’s going on, to realize the clarity....only has to do with you...awareness. One arising thought at a time. And one arising feeling at a time. When you add your wife, now there’s confusion. When you add the third party, the “inner child” (in the way you have communicated this here)...then you add another layer of confusion. If you remove the wife, and the inner child from the scenario.....all that remains is you, thinking a thought which doesn’t feel good. Without the wife and inner child reference, all that would remain would be you examining why your thought didn’t feel good, and choosing a better feeling thought. Through choosing the better feeling thought, you feel better. The understanding and clarity, as you pointed out, arise via the feeling itself.

@Endangered-EGO You could fill up a dream board with everything you love, and just, do that stuff. You’ll know then, precisely what resistances you’re holding, and you can address them, while living the life you actually want to live. You might even discover more of who you are, which can be quite empowering.

@Mindfang413 Strikes me as jumbled perspectives. Try writing on paper, the questions in two columns, one as if I am asking these questions about consciousness, and, second as if consciousness was asking these questions about itself. Write down the answers that come up, and also pause to see if any more arise too.

Sounds sarcastic at first I’m assuming, but “it’s” not a circle. Shape & degrees are a thought. It’s infinity we’re pointing at. There’s no “done”. Enlightenment is knowing one is infinity. It feels “done” at that point. Relatively speaking, I totally ‘fell for it’. “Full circle” is just a pointer for perspectives, that there is more. Infinity, more.

@Endangered-EGO Sit in it a bit longer. Thoughts go, yes. Feeling arises too. Sit in it a bit longer. If difficult, then write about those feelings which arose. Being “says” nothing in silence, what could be added to perfection? What needs be said? Nothing at all. What wants to be created? Some would say, that is the very voice of silence, arising in you, creation, creator, creating.

@Inliytened1 Infinity.

@ElvisN If there was some miscommunication, to be clear, learning is great. Read books. Read that book. Not a word in them is true about you. Kind of a, Both. I love you Elvis! Of course, I’m picturing Elvis Presley, but I love you too. If that’s you’re real name, freakin sweet.

3.14 (etc)%.

@Endangered-EGO Have a peak at the sneakiness of thought. Own it, so to speak. How much of that is going on, now? What does the silence tell you about this?

@PenguinPablo Yay. For. You. Attachment to attachment is a slippery slope, and I think you glimpsed that now. Feel the feeling, notice tendency to ‘go into a thought story’ in avoidance of the feeling. Let the feeling run through you, and purify.

@Aaron p Nice. What ever happened to...fun.

Btw, it will certainly be addressed in what I recommended, both in the direct experience of choosing what you yourself want, and reading the recommended book. In noticing the resistant thoughts, and inspecting them, writing about feelings, using the emotional scale...the understanding you are wanting directly arises.

@Martin123 See your spin there? I don’t “feel accused”, I refer to what you’ve written here on this thread. You don’t see the very “elitism” present in your words? Your “ruling stands”, that I should message you for clarity..?

@Martin123 You’re implication is that I am irresponsible, that “I” am dragging you into an argument - which you are actually instigating yourself, in your rather than commenting, commenting on how my comment should be, in accordance with “your ruling still standing”. You are not “wishing me all the best”, you’re making many accusations against me.

That’s just your idea of it, personified onto me, judgement. What I suggest, is precisely, and only, what I suggested. There’s no such “promise”. You’re projecting this onto what was said again. That’s your idea of this, not what I said. That “devalues”, is your perspective. That I’m deceiving anyone, is your perspective too. That’s also coming from you but you’re not realizing it. I’ve neither mentioned nor encouraged anything like that at all. You don’t have to judge people like this. You yourself can transcend it, by inspecting it. That is the self. The distinction you’re making, are yours. You truly don’t see your story at play here? Your story about me? You’re adding so much to what I said, and missing you’re doing what I explained right now.

@ElvisN No worries. It’s just a thread, and suggestions. There are no “sides”.

Try listening to that...but not making it about me. Much clarity arises.

Well it’s analogy for what is true, yeah. When you rephrase in alignment with your own feelings... ”That eases my fears but is it true” simply becomes, “that feels Good”. Truth, is the best feeling “thing” possible. So great feeling, it is unimaginable. Simply listen to your feelings, “follow” that “path”. That’s the beauty of it. It’s up to you. Notice, you are aware of thought, and you are aware of feeling. Clearly, you are already awareness, which is aware of these...transcendent of these, yet, inclusive of these. You can ‘hang on to a thought’, and you can choose a better feeling thought. You’re a creator. You’re creating your experience.

Then stop choosing to think about it. Do something that you enjoy instead. That is very much more “the path”. Yep. Do the practices, and do stuff you actually enjoy. Make a dream board filled with it. Let go of any thought which doesn’t eel good to you, no matter what it’s about. Allow the healing. It will rise, like a cork underwater which one lets go of. Just relax and allow. That’s great advice. Recognize, letting it go, means it has been let go. No “need” for satisfaction of a “problem” which doesn’t exist in your mind because you, let it go. Practices, writing about feeling now, these are ways of letting go too. It’s all about allowing the healing. Then, the rumination is a thing of the past, and everything on your dream board is your future. When a resistant thought arises, it is so much more noticeable, and the art of letting go is priceless. You can’t hold a problem and solution at the same time. Consciousness is creation, and as such, it “just doesn’t work that way”, no matter how much we fight it. That’s the rumination. A habit of ol. Practices, writing about feelings in the present, understanding emotions, dream board & creating your life. Only follow this “advice” btw, if it resonates, if what you want, feels good to you. “How do I reconcile endless suffering” = “How do I experience a different movie...while I keep watching this one”

The enjoyment is not in the beliefs, it’s feeling itself. Less thought story, is more great feeling. You’re feeling good about yourself, yourself is “itself” the greatest possible feeling. A thought about, is just that...a thought. Consider a tablet which “enjoys” the “good feeling” (which is wifi). It enjoys “it’s wifi”. Then one day it realizes the wifi does not “belong to” the tablet...but that the tablet, and all that is, is The Wifi. Then, the tablet is swimming in, breathing in, Love. (“Wifi” / ItSelf)

@PenguinPablo This all supports the very story about you which feels terrible. Let go of the story building, and begin the one thought at a time, and how it resonates or doesn’t, with feeling. You are there. Not in a story about you, or who you are. Start a dream board, fill it with everything you want in life. Notice thought which arises resistant to all that you want, and inspect the thought. Use the emotional scale. Get creating this actual story, your life. In truth, you’ve always been creating it. This is more becoming aware that you are doing so. Read up, to fill gaps in understanding, such as The Six Pillar Of Self Esteem.

There is no you. When a thought which doesn’t feel good arises, inspect it. Read up on deflection, projection, and personification. This will bring about some delicious purification / healing / insights (love). Make a dream board. You’re experiencing precisely what you’re focused on. Pull your write off out of your way. Starting focusing on what you want. More of what you want will arise in you. What you want = what feels good to you. Self actualization is the greatest feeling possible...get pointed in that direction. Just like if you want to go to a specific store, you get there by going. That’s just you judging them, which is keeping “the idea of you” going.