Sevi

I would like to offer some books: " Boundaries, Dr. Henry Cloud & Dr. John Townsend" " Self-Esteem, Matthew McKay & Patrick Fanning" " The Dance of Anger, Dr. Harriet Lerner": in the last chapter of this book, she talks about the triangles in the families and how to handle them; you might benefit. And if you need a real hard work: Arno Gruen: # "The Insanity of Normality: Understanding Human Destructiveness" # "The Betrayal of the Self" # "Autonomy and Identification: The Paradox of Their Opposition" Happiness is a decision. Knowing the boundaries is always an efficient tool. I suggest you to see and accept your part in the scenario. Lastly, of course without being the battle field it's easier to talk about it but still, there is nothing celebratory about shouting at someone. How could you be doing a better job than that? Wishing you all the best:)

I love you all, too @Leo Gura aren't those the best tests?

The attention whore, the diva, the celebrity. Due to: physical and emotional torture and abuse in the childhood; lack of acceptance and love; fighting hard against being ignored. Journaling more than 20 years, working with psychiatrists and psychologists... a meticulous work. personal development is sometimes just a survival need. What we see can be elusive; without the supportive work like self inquiry and stuff, mushrooms can not be enough to sheding of them. And ironically, a monkey can feel your wounds and pain and can connect to you and even sometimes can be very nurturing, gentle and caring with you rather than a homo-sapien.. I think that's why I love the animals more than human beings; and somehow I understand those celebrities who are ending up living with 30 cats:) It's good to remember the phase saying: be kind for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. with love???

@Oneness yes, you do understand it right. Focusing all of the things at once is already not realistic. ( reality here means: under the regular, normal, physical conditions of life and consciousness, don't worry about the other types; first things first ) Check Leo's Mastery video, it'll clear your mind more esp about the diagram: in the diagram we see how things (here that is achieving the balance) work in reality when you actually do the job rather than sitting and speculating about it. And he nuances that every single scenario requires slightly different solutions: Ex: walking is an example to dynamic balance; everyone achieves it in their own way, everyone's anatomy is different. So don't worry about the other life form's solutions.

@Leo Gura Thank you very much for sharing the Mansur Al-Hallaj's story Leo! I had so wanted to share that when you released the 'What is God' episode, but I wasn't in the forum.. Because they are exactly the same examples, just in different centuries.. In Anatolia, it is a very well known story by everyone, but among Sufis it has a special place.That was pretty fascinating to see such an example on this side of the ocean:)

Without joy and inspiration, there won't be any meaningful action. It's for sure. But without balance, there won't be continuity either. As long as you balance the contradicting ends you do continue to live your life. To sleep - be awake, to be hungry - to eat, to have fun - to get back to work, the day and the night... When describing the balance I might have been gotten a little boring and dull but as an act itself it is fun too?

When you design a ship or a yacht, if you want it to be a very fast vehicle; you might simply think: ok, I'm gonna put the biggest propeller possible and the most powerful engine: done! Well,no. The more powerfully you push the object in the water, the stronger resistance you're gonna get; then ironically your design will end up being a slow one. So you need to balance the opposing concepts for an optimal result. Ok, so what is this design for? A motor yacht for leisure? An overseas bulk carrier for a corporation? Then now the size and the weight will effect your ideal speed too. Voila! New parameters, a new re- balancing activity for you. Let's say it's a bulk carrier and the buyer wants the lightest ship possible to be able to carry the most load; but yet your ship should be strong enough to handle the ocean waves which will make it heavier. Every single aspect of your design will gonna require a massive balancing action among the related variables. When we wanna sail in our lives, the contradicting parameters are surely much more complex and we are far more complicated vehicles than ships. So that, without knowing our life purpose to sail will be an unnecessarily tough journey. Coming across to someone who can show you the way and teach you how to design a life is such a fortunate coincidence. The floating principle is also simply a balancing act. It's balancing the nature of the object and the external situation (which is the fluid here). In life by balancing your inner self with the conditions you are in; you, at least, can float. But if you wanna fly high; the principle of flying will require a reasonable amount of speed which will cause a decrease in the pressure of the external environment. Teaching balance in dancing In dancing, static balance depends on the muscle strength. The stronger the muscle, the better the balance. How do we get stronger muscles? Well, we put the muscle under the pressure: weight lifting, push ups and so on. So in life; the situations which creates pressure on you, are the opportunities to become more stable, chances to improve your static balance. What about the dynamic balance? Dynamic balance is required (during motion) in directional changes, in spins; in connecting to partners and so on. To achieve that; simply you need to be fulfilling the very last action, the one just before one of those movements to happen. Let's say we're gonna do a sudden directional change and it's a ballroom dance; you need to get on your foot 100% ( meaning putting all your body weight on that foot) then the next thing happens perfectly. Let's say you're gonna jump off the floor and spin; so your last move is bending the both knees well and be very grounded before taking off. Often dancers get off- balance and wobbly because their mind goes right into "the difficult" element but doesn't pay attention what's goes on and has to happen at each single moment; especially the moment just before "The action" which requires balance. Long story short, being at the present moment and doing the requirements of that moment and keeping the mind just on it, always creates the perfect dynamic balance in dancing. As a teacher: As a teacher, to teach your students especially the dynamic balance, you always need to remember this idea: So you need to be at the moment with them: for every beat (even every half beat) you hold them (physically) like a statue for seconds (which feels like minutes to them) for every single beat of the music; one by one, every single beat. You have them be statues for every moment. So, that means, as a teacher you ever rush. Without having them to achieve that one beat, you just do not continue (and it might be 16 counts away, before the key motion happens) you just hold them there. If your mind moves just a little forward; for sure your student will wobble a lot. So, you don't get impatient about the fluidity of the storyline. You stay with them and freeze the time there and in a sense it creates a feeling of acceptance for them. After such an emotional exchange, in most of the cases, the student starts to let go of the ideas which causes tension in the body and becomes more mobilized to move forward 'balancely'. Of course the essential thing for the teacher is to never put away any hope about any student. In my life, I've taught balance to very different variety of students of different age groups, different disabilities.. I've never seen any of them not achieving it. So, as silly as it sounds but if there is a breath there is hope. It is the best and the strongest position in life to be hopeful about anything where no-one can even attempt to imagine that, isn't it?

@Phil Haha! Phil! Listen. If you choose to put some time on this, the pay-off will definitely gonna please you! It doubles the pleasures in life. Guaranteed?

@Salaam Salaam, such a profound contribution of yours, I appreciated it a lot. It has already expanded my awareness; but actually I need to read it couple of more times. Very helpful! Thank you. Really, without approaching holistically to the matters, we can not talk about any real growth of anything; so the balancing act represents itself as such a key factor. None of the domains of life or matters is less important; all of them need the same attention and effort; of course prioritizing them will depend on different variables but balancing them will surely require mastery and much more delicate grasp of our minds. And Salaam, you have pointed so significantly, the importance of creating the harmony and synergy through balancing act; because the healing of the most of the micro or macro wounds will definitely depend on that. Thank you.

@Mats It's from some of my experiences, thank you. I like this forum, exchange of our ideas gives me a lot of new insights too.

That's very nice. Written form really has its own place. Creates direct refined flow into the thought form; subtleties appear brighter so you can merge into that with ease from your solitude. Integrating yours into that accelerates your process. I enjoyed reading, thank you.

"Your inner being is current tense, what's manifested in your experience is old news..." Let the love in??

HAHA!!!

This was really helpful to understand mushrooms and what you meant about them. An interview would be such a foundational entry. I even can't wait to learn from him right now.

@Leo Gura I couldn't put this @part out I'm sending this to all of you guys? Guys? if you can handle?: Kinda same book, happens in a different religion. http://www.ahmedhulusi.org/en/books the books title is ' universal mysteries'

@Leo Gura thank you very much for sharing. I've read similar books, their messages unify on the same subject; but this one looks like having more details, thanks.

@Deep @Deep if you are interested in to feel the kundalini energy rising in your body, there are couple of things you can do. Put your feet into the salty water twice a day. Put some ice on your liver once in couple of days or so.. move a candle on your left side of your body gently up and down, like again once in couple of days or so. Your body starts to sense it better. But if you feel burning sensation or warmth I suggest you to say ' I forgive' the kundalini sensation is generally a cool breeze. As if there is a very light wind around you. Also it's possible to sense the vibrations of objects, people, concepts like this too.

@Pallero JSM?

Healthy conflict is always a very good tool to growth and self awareness. Videos like this allow us to be self-observant through our self-actualization process; so it is even more valuable; because it's not just informative which creates passive follow but provokes some more reactions which can be seen so can be cleaned out from the path.

@Azrael thank you so very much! I've just watched the emotional oneness, that was so powerful! When he said 'enlightenment so what?!' I literally stopped it and laughed like 15 minutes

Hi Petervan, I can't say so much about eating habits but to get fit I have some exercise tips: First you'll set up the habit: generally we consider it as a 'have to' and so that, something unpleasant. First step is to start to move just little bit more than you are use to now. But just very little: like, in the house one trip from one room to other. Just one. And do not do more than one. or if there is stairs one trip up and down. Or if it is walking to a park just arriving there and coming back. It needs to be ridiculously easy and funny. The first week you'll be willing to do some exercise but fight back to that desire, just do a very little than what you want. Limit it. Just 'one' of something and wait for other day to continue. Choose a song you love the most and dance with it in a very silly way. if you don't have any idea about dancing: one song long stand up and shift weight from one foot to other foot. Amuse yourself with these little things. See if you are having any fun or not. If not text me this is setting up the habit. Then, you'll need to walk. There is a particular duration to that, after that minute body starts to burn the fat. But first set the habit. (And to burn the fat, body needs water) Fast actions don't burn the fat, because body needs the energy urgently; duration in slow motion does. Walking, running in walking speed, swimming are the best exercises for such purpose. Dancing is good too but it's secondary. At the beginning of exercising you need to behave very gentle and compassionate to your body; give it some time. I'm a very fit person, those little playful tricks made exercising my long term friend, let me tell ya; such a good friend, I wish you the same thing! And congratulations on your excellent decision have a nice journey

A few quotes from Rumi: "This place is a dream. Only a sleeper considers it real. Then death comes like dawn, and you wake up laughing at what you thought was your grief." "You are not a drop in the ocean. You are the entire ocean in a drop." "This is love: to fly toward a secret sky, to cause a hundred veils to fall each moment. First to let go of life, finally to take a step without feet." "Why do you stay in prison, when the door is so wide open?" "Dancing is not just getting up painlessly, like a leaf blown on the wind; dancing is when you tear your heart out and rise out of your body to hang suspended between the worlds" "What? Are you still pretending you are separate from the Beloved?" "Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They are in each other all along."