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Everything posted by Ry4n

  1. @pluto Damn, that does sound harsh. Losing anyone can be quite sobering and does make you stronger if you can come out ok on the other side.
  2. I'm not surprised, suppressing emotions is like struggling in quick sand, it only makes you sink and quickly too. Denying our human nature that we feel pain only makes us neurotic. Allowing them helps them pass quicker. It's a shame that the education system doesn't teach us how to feel our emotions; how to be mindful of them, which results in people turning to all sorts of compulsions that cause so many mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, depersonalisation and addiction. This isn't a health issue, it's an education issue, and its pathetic and unforgivable that an education system that claims to prepare us for life doesn't teach us how to handle our emotions effectively.
  3. @faith my dog rocky ;( Died 16 years old, we were the same age roughly so I spent my whole childhood with him, so it was very brutal. It's been almost a year since it happened, and I'm still a bit upset about it. Nothing to do but open up to the grief, and allow it to rise and fall of its own accord. I personally think grief is a beautiful thing, it shows how much you care, but nonetheless it can be quite encompassing. On the flip-side of that, I've became grateful to have had those experiences before he died. A lot of wisdom can be gained from such experiences. You appreciate the life you have a lot more, and realise how precious life is in all forms.
  4. @Leo Gura hmm, I see what you mean. I think it's more so a fear of wasting my time working with techniques that don't work, because I've done that in the past and it made me pretty frustrated. I'll give a few of the methods a try and see what it does. So far the only techniques I've found to work was a CBT technique, Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness meditation. Unfortunately things like affirmations and different ways of thinking never helped me at all, but everyone is different so I can't make the assumption that it's going to work. I guess I am just the kind of person that needs to use pure action to get results, without the help of particular emotions like motivation. Just curious, have you heard of ACT? Any thoughts about it? Sorry hope I didn't ramble too much lol.
  5. I've looked online, and as far as what has been said about Neuro-linguistic programming's effective for therapy and personal development, it seems that overall there is little evidence for it being effective. I was interested in it at first, but now it seems pointless. Especially when compared with Cognitive-behavioural therapy, and Acceptance and Commitment therapy that have shown much more results (and have made me a better person). Could someone link me to a legitimate study backing up its effective? Any scenario is fine with me; therapy, self development in general, etc.
  6. Be mindful of it, allow it to be. If you try to make it go away, you will only get angry and frustrated about your anger, possibly making you feel hopeless because you cant control the anger. It piles on and gets worse and worse. Try not to buy into the idea that there is something wrong with you for feeling angry. Of coarse, attempts at using self help techniques to control the anger may help for a little while, but it's no long-term solution. I have found that with any painful emotion, if you allow it and do what matters to you anyway, it usually is short lasting.
  7. As someone who use to struggle really badly with intrusive thoughts and no longer does, I think I have some advice and tips that should apply to your situation. First of all, try antidepressant medications (Prozac or Zoloft are good starters), I by no means suggest this as a long-term solution, but simply as a way to get you out of the negative funk. Second, try and make contact with a good quality therapist that can help you with your issues. One qualified in Cognitive-Behavioural Therapy should help. Also, improve your diet. Read "The UltraMind Solution" by Mark Hyman, it goes into a lot of depth about how physical health affects mental health. Another important thing is to learn about Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT). Read "The Happiness Trap" by Russ Harris. Another good book! "The Mind Workout" by Mark Freeman. Ultimately, there are a few important things to highlight that are significantly contributing to your struggle. #1-Compulsions ("Anything you do to cope with, check on, or control anxiety, uncertainty and any other feelings you don't like"-Mark Freeman). #2-Believing that your thoughts are the truth. ACT can help a lot with this. YOUR THOUGHTS ARE JUST STORIES!!!! OPINIONS!!!! IDEAS!!! They are not facts and they are not you. Anytime you have these thoughts, be mindful of them and simply think to yourself "thanks mind!" and notice how they are simply stories. There is no need to challenge these thoughts, as doing that is often an attempt to get rid of uncertainty, which is just another compulsion to be cut out. #3-Not accepting uncertainty- Maybe free will is an illusion! Maybe its not! Accept that uncertainty and do what you value. To put it simply. Practice Cognitive Defusion over your thoughts. Accept your internal experience (Its ok to feel depressed and anxious!) Choose a valued direction and take action.
  8. Google Exposure and Response Prevention
  9. Just curious to know how you guys would define happiness? Many see it as simply a state of pleasure that comes from a good life, but that seems rather hedonistic and unhealthy to me. How I would define happiness: Living life mindfully and in accordance with your deepest values. Let me know your thoughts though.
  10. Found a useful loving-kindness meditation from an online MBSR coarse. Hope it helps.
  11. I think in the long-term being+value based living is the way to go. You want to be able to surrender to what is and be fully in the moment, but you obviously don't want to be a vegetable that does absolutely nothing, you certainly could, but I doubt enlightenment can transcend biology; if you do nothing you will be miserable. We are always going to be doing something with our lives, so may as well do what we value deeply. This combined with being in my opinion seems to produce the highest levels of fulfilment.
  12. Guys we need to convince Sam to take some 5meo I actually wanna see this happen but not sure how he could be convinced.
  13. @Will I personally don't think self-actualization has a destination. It is simply a lifestyle made up of health and constant improvement of yourself and your life, as you help others. If there was any legitimate goal to all of this work, in my opinion it would be peace on earth.
  14. Hey @MiracleMan I learnt clinical hypnosis and exposure and response prevention (ERP, a form of CBT) from a trained therapist, however now I just work on cutting out compulsions myself as well as doing Acceptance and Commitment Therapy, where I learnt about acceptance and mindfulness skills.
  15. Just wanted to address a huge part of recovery from things such as OCD, Generalised Anxiety Disorder, Social Anxiety and similar issues. While I think this practice is fundamental for long term recovery I don't think it should be the only thing you do. (Meds, CBT, psychotherapy, self-help, mindfulness etc. should also be used.) The fundamental concept is simply acceptance. It's simple I know, but it is powerful. As someone who was struggling with moderate OCD and depression, and now 5 months later has no depression, is extremely motivated, and only has very subtle symptoms of OCD, I can say that acceptance was the crucial part of recovery alongside things like meds, hypnosis, mindfulness, psychotherapy and CBT/ERP. For me acceptance involved accepting uncertainty. Accepting that these thoughts that I am bad, I have done something wrong, I may die in the future, etc. may all be true, but at the same time they may not, and continuing doing what I value anyways. For someone with social anxiety, it may involve accepting the intense anxiety they feel in social situations, defusing from their thoughts and seeing them for what they are, being in the moment and doing what they value and talking to that person anyways. When we react to the thoughts and emotions our brains throw at us, by trying to get rid of them, trying to avoid situations that evoke these emotions, etc., we tell our brains that this fear it is throwing at us is REAL. Even if we know this fear is ridiculous, the primitive part of our brain doesn't understand that, because by reacting to the fear with all these compulsive behaviours, we train our brains to fear them even more. It's only once we throw ourselves into our fears, accept the stuff in our heads, and do what we value that we show our brain it doesn't have to be afraid. It's only then that your brain will stop sending you these signals. If you practice this for long enough, eventually you will know longer deal with these issues. Hopefully that helps
  16. Just wondering if anyone here has done astral projection successfully and can say what it's like. Would you consider it a spiritual experience? How does it compare to a psychedelic experience? Does it feel real? Thanks, and it would extreeemely appreciated if you could post a link if you used it to successfully astral project.
  17. @Geo holy shit. That honestly sounds better than psychedelics. Do you use any specific technique or listen to any guided videos for it?
  18. @Dan Arnautu thanks man, Koi has some good stuff
  19. I was watching Leo's "How to deal with strong negative emotions" video, where he talks about opening yourself up to feel and accept all your emotions, and remembered a quote from Thich Nhat Hanh (sorry if I screwed up the spelling). "When you learn to suffer, you suffer much less." Sounds counter-intuitive, but I feel it really sums up the concept. So much of our pain is born from resistance, and believing that having painful emotions make us weak and mentally ill, when in fact that's only the case for those who resist these feelings.
  20. Face your fears. Expose yourself to the cockroaches and resist the urge to push away your feelings or run away from it. The more you run away from this fear, the more you fear it. Every time you react you tell your brain it needs to be afraid. Exposure is scientifically proven to work for phobias, so trust me it ain't no bs. "Constant exposure to dangers will breed contempt for them." - Lucius Annaeus Seneca.
  21. @Sagar Takker Hopefully these meditations will help you find equanimity amongst difficult emotions and be able to defuse from thoughts more effectively.
  22. Stop trying to calm it down, you're wasting your time. Accept the fact that your mind goes crazy. There's nothing wrong with monkey mind. Don't judge it, simply accept it and view it with mindful awareness, knowing that these thoughts are not facts and are not you. Same thing goes with any feelings of anxiety or agitation. The goal is not to get rid of these experiences, it's to accept them and use mindfulness in such a way where it no longer has power over us. Besides, the monkey mind will pass in time, just have faith.
  23. @electroBeam I'm no expert when it comes to these things, but maybe you could try simply being extremely introverted for a certain period of time and let the desire for social interaction slowly build up, and once you start to crave it then you start talking to people often again.
  24. @Joel3102 maybe you're not real, and maybe you are... Accept that uncertainty. Trying to get rid of that uncertainty about whether this is all real is the problem. Avoiding these feelings will only cause them to happen more!