Edita

Thanks for your time to reply to my message, everything you wrote is exactly to the point! I just will add some of my conclusions I made today after meditation. It is difference that is unbelievable hard to explain. First, because english is not my native, second - probably nobody cant in any kind of language or words, only by direct experience. For example, when you hear song of the bird, you can hear it, listen "now" and at the same time you are involved in that. You can say, that you not, but you are. You still attaching yourself to whathever you experiencing in the now. That doesnt help, thats why a lot of people give up I guess all that meditation stuff. Like that example - cleaning something, you dont want to be aware of that process. You want to be aware of what is BEHIND that process, behind that smell, behind all feelings, sensations, behind your breath... Behind. In you. When there is awareness of that stillness, "silence", "ocean" when you turn attention to that "field" inside, everything shifts - you become field for everything around - thoughts, emotions, sounds, feelings... it is here, whenever you want to find it, doesnt really matter, whats happening in life that moment, it is permanent, and doesnt change. That field is like music - whole life, including own body, and all what we call "you" dancing to that music, life then floating like a river whithout any struggles anymore. In another words, you starting feeling presence in yourself, and that is so peacefull. Rest in piece - that is how I call my meditation right now, and... I dont feel I need to practice vipassana any more. It looks pointless and naive once I grasped that deepness in myself. Or as you described - that dimension or formless space in backround. New Earth -i was listen Eckharts audiobook half year ago. Nothing happened then. But I'm going to re-listen it. Because with new experience every Eckart word starts to shine differently, and resonates with me in totally different perspective - "you have everything already, you just dont realized that", "presence cant' be found in external world or things, only in you", its just pure Truth, I cannot describe how accurate those words are right now...

Hey, everyone! My english is poor, but I really want to share some interesting thing, that happened to me recently, want to know, if im going to the right direction.... And what is that? First off all, I have a lot of external problems, nothing special, as all people - struggling to find life purpose, job, self confidence, etc., also I am a mom of two kids. Following actualized.org probably two years, so I know some theory about enlightenement, meditation, this year I completed vipassana 10 day course, after that I tried to install meditation habit, and that was hard, because I believed that I must to struggle a lot in order to reach something, that will change my life, that suddenly some things will come , that I never experience before, there was belief, that these changes is something, that will happen to me from outside, if i put a lot struggles to meditate, and meditation was always like a war with my thoughts. About week ago I was sitting in my kitchen, planning and thinking about my life, it was raining. And one moment I just concentrated on that view through the window and by the same time suddenly realized, that my mind is not thinking anymore. Complete silence. I put my attention to that silence, wandering, where is my thoughts, and that was the first time I clearly realised, that something is behind my thoughts. It's like ocean, or water gently vibrating, silent and peacefull, when I am not thinking. It's not exactly silence, because I can feel, well not feel, but I just experiencing it even when im with people if remember to notice that. It is always here. Whenever I go and do, it doesnt matter, that peace is always there, if I choose to be present, but... I never realized, never was noticing that. I was meditating couple of times since that realization... Meditation doesnt seem struggle right now at all, I just sitting and experiencing that peace, stillnes, it is arising not from my head, but that energy flowing somewhere from/in center of my belly. I feel emotions, body sensations, thoughts, but they seems like really far from me. If i open my eyes, everything seems unreal. It's so calming, like some ocean of emptyness inside me, not joy, not sadness, just nothing to even spoke about, complete calmness... I dont have any more words to explain that state..

Leo, he seems to be quite open minded about DMT ?