Eva

Member
  • Content count

    32
  • Joined

  • Last visited

About Eva

  • Rank
    - - -

Personal Information

  • Location
    Finland
  • Gender
    Female
  1. Thank you for all of your thoughts, everybody! @Etagnwo, I'm really into spiral dynamics, and I feel like AQAL is a nice supplement for it. I do understand that I'm a person who needs structure, logical solutions and perceives the world in a specific way. Wilber seems to be an intelligent person and I have respect for him for the work he has done. I feel like some of his stuff has gone too far and/or the wrong direction, so I tend to look into his ideas (and everyone's, for that matter) with a grain of salt. This video was a good reminder for me to remember not to idolize or blindly follow certain people, and to do the research for myself. And in the end, take those parts that make sense to me, appreciate the work they have done and be neutral with the rest.
  2. Has anyone else listened to this one? What are your thoughts on this?
  3. I work female domineering industry and it's as shitty as it gets with the rivalry and disputes. Backstabbing is a daily occurrence. I have a colleague who somehow seems to have a beef with me, I can't figure out why. I don't know if she's like this with everybody or just with me. I have been trying to be neutral with her but it's getting more difficult as the time goes by. Now she found a technical error in my work and tattled our boss about it. She did not confront me first and went straight to our boss instead. I surely accept my responsibility for that error. They told me they are going to have a discussion with me about it. I just have a hard time being the bigger person here, yet again. She has made several errors herself, some of which I have talked over with her (trying to be understanding and helping her out with those) and some of which our team has addressed (many of them do it in pretty harsh manner). I have a huge urge to bring out this person's own errors to our bosses attention in this discussion. Obviously, that's my egos defense, since I myself have fucked up. I know it's a petty thought, but I'm kinda pissed off at her. She already tried this kind of a thing before but found out that I wasn't doing anything wrong and backed off, so I'm sure this thing is going to continue in the future. Anyone have any good resources to retrieve to?
  4. Dear Actualized.org community. I have noticed that my twitch with the Whatsapp app has been going a bit too far lately and I'm feeling really shitty about it, so I wish to work on it. I'm not on any social media because of this same issue and it has been working really well for me. Lately, I've been spending hours a day in Whatsapp and it has been starting to affect my relationships as well. I guess I'm trying to mask my loneliness with those meaningless conversations. I'm also in a long distance relationship at the moment and my increasing neediness with him is straining our relationship quite a bit nowadays. Any good resources to help me combat this?
  5. Thanks for your comment! And yes, I get that that's not quite the most important part of this exercise (and have since gotten a whole lot more gentle with the snap) :-D Mostly I'm shocked to find out how often I actually criticize things. It's really ingrained in my psyche over the years. But I'm trying very hard not to be a perfectionist about this issue too, and realize that it takes a lot of time to start to unravel this.
  6. In one of his videos about perfectionism Leo suggested monitoring one's critical tendencies torwards everything by having a rubber band around a wrist and snapping it every time a critical thought appears. I stared this morning and I've already snapped my wrist raw by couple hundreds of snaps. I never knew it was this bad. Ouch. Do any of you suffer/have suffered from this kind of thing? Does it ever get better, and how does it feel when it does?
  7. I would presume this one too. I know the feeling since I've been there as well. Maybe making the goals clearly smaller, so you're able to integrate those into your routine more effortlessly?
  8. I have been struggling with emotional eating and binge eating for my entire life. Being a woman brings it's own hardship into this mess as well. Lately I have been getting to intuitive eating and body image work and it has been feeling better. I still have a long way to go, but it's a process, so I'll take it on day-by-day without perfectionism. Has anybody else been getting into this? What are your experiences with it?
  9. Thank you so much for your answer. That makes a lot of sense to me.
  10. This is really something that I keep wondering. Is it just the fear of leaping or are the genuine reasons for not being ready and will they ever get better. Who do you know?
  11. In a way, I feel devastated and in a way in peace with this fact. I have taken Leo's LPC two times now, only to realize that currently, I have bigger issues in my life that demand my attention than finding my LP. Yet, LPC is wonderful to help you with developing craftsman mindset and perseverance, that's applicable to your other pursuits too. Also getting to know yourself so much better is useful. In my weak moments, I'm ready to take on "just something" to get away from developing myself in other ways. But I'm trying to stay strong on this path to building foundations (looking inward) before settling on my LP (going for outward things). I also wondered if I'm just avoiding my LP by telling myself that I'm not ready for it yet. But that appears really to be the case here. Has anyone else had this experience? How did your journey end out to in retrospect?
  12. A lot of resources suggest this approach as well. Having a morning and evening routine and grouping your small habits into these lumps. You can google "tiny habits" and "habit stacking" to get more info on that. Nevertheless, every person has hundreds or even thousands of habits a day that they implement without a thought. So the number of good habits should not have an upper limit in real life since they start to overtake negative, unconscious habits. I remember reading Miracle Morning a few years ago and trying to implement it (SAVERS - silence, affirmations, visualization, exercise, reading and 'scribing', as in writing). Though I loved the idea I felt extremely overwhelmed with it all. I'm all-or-nothing, black-and-white, I-want-it-all-now kinda person and steady calm perseverance with a craftsman mindset has never been my strength. So I switched to having just one new habit at a time (in my mind as well). Nowadays I have all of the SAVERS in place plus about a 4-5 other improving habits. So just the timing and my impatience were the problems, not the amount of the good habits. Good luck and a lot of perseverance in your quest! Building foundations for your life by changing your habits is one of the greatest things you can do to help yourself get ahead!
  13. Let me start off by stating that I'm a minimalist person. Some even call me extremely minimalist. And that enables me to really truly love the physical items that I bring into my life and keep in my life. I have noticed that the favorite items that I have are also serving a purpose to my self-actualization. I'd like to share you the daily go-to items that support my self-actualization. And yes, I'm aware of the fact that Buddhist monks don't literally own a thing and they are the most self-actualized persons on earth, so in essence, self-actualization is not about your gear. But mine help me a lot and make me genuinely happy. I'd also like to get some tips from others regarding the same issue. So here goes: Yoga mat (trying to establish a new morning habit!) Clear tote for my smallish items Magnetic tag for my gym membership Kindle reader Water bottle Leuchtturm A6 journal + my favorite pen Earphones Computer My phone is missing from the picture since I took the picture with my phone. Here are my favorite apps (Android) and websites to support my journey: Headspace meditating app Podcast app Wunderlist YNAB for budgeting Actualized.org (forum, blog & LPC) Few selected YouTube channels (for example Impact Theory, Academy of Ideas, Teal Swan & Isabel Foxen Duke) I'd love to read or see your favorite toolkit for your self-actualization journey!
  14. I have the same experince with GTD. There's no way that I would be able to remember all of the daily stuff I'm supposed to do without it. Also, the biggest benefit is that it frees up mental bandwidth from memorizing trivial to-dos to more worthwhile things.
  15. Thank you for your kind words.