Eva

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About Eva

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  1. /rant As a bit of a sidetrack yet related to this very issue, I'm really triggered (as you can tell, working on it...) with people who seem to disregard mastering the initial and so-called lower levels by jumping to advanced topics right away. I have come across a lot of people who have a whole bunch of deep-rooted rookie-level problems (denial, shadows, problems in relationships, addictions, mental health issues and life-skills in general) they clearly haven't dealt with at all. Yet these "Tolle fanboys" feel like it's sufficient to skip these so-called lesser earthly matters and spend their days smoking pot and pondering about the universe while their bills are piling up and relationships falling apart around them. That all would be fine and dandy, but these same persons look heavily down to people like myself, who use (who have to use) their time and energy to address the bigger underlying issues. Yeah, it really is embarrassing and demoralizing to work on issues in your thirties that most of the people have had the luxury to work in their early teens. It doesn't help that I get pitying looks from these holier-than-thou shortcut creators for not being all metaphysical all the time when I have more concrete issues to deal with. By denying your own problems and presenting yourself as a higher level being than the honest low-level folks like myself doesn't really serve you in the long run. I know I shouldn't care. It just really gets to me at times. I too wish I was over these initial phases. Yet I am not, and I need to be honest where I am on the map and act accordingly. It's just not the popular way of seeing things these days, I can tell.
  2. Oh, I wish! Unfortunately, it's not made by me, it's Camilla d'Erricos piece called Mamba Mia (source here). It really is stunning, isn't it :-)
  3. Yeah, I completely agree with you. It might be a lucrative trap to just get stuck to the surface level and feel good about yourself and boost your ego, as @NoSelfSelf pointed out. Without seeing that it's actually only the initial stage.
  4. Too bad to hear that you didn't benefit from it. It probably doesn't work for everyone, since it seems that people are on different levels in this game of life. Yet, it's important to pick ones that serve you and drop the ones that don't. My experiences are different, but so are my challenges. Just making a point here that disregarding some tool completely for everybody seems like black-and-white thinking at its peak.
  5. But shouldn't people work with their surface level issues first (if they still have such) to create a foundation for solving the fundamental ones? So is it appropriate to say that psychotherapy doesn't help you solve the maze when it actually does? In the initial levels, in which some of us unfortunately still are in.
  6. But does it really require that bigger picture understanding from them if they are helping you with one, narrow and specific trap (as you mentioned in your video)? In my case, we're working on emotional expression & understanding and solidifying my sense of self, which I feel like are the building blocks for my self-actualization. It's only one small part of the maze. Also, my diffuse sense of self (because of developmental issues) inherently makes it hard to work on these problems alone, so I feel like I have benefitted it a lot. So is it really legit to disregard psychotherapy as a whole altogether, since it can't and shouldn't solve your existential issues more broadly? I mean, can't a mentor and their knowledge be a good tool in trap specific problem-solving?
  7. That's strange, yet interesting! Can you tell me more about your experiences with it?
  8. @Leo Gura could you elaborate why you feel like psychotherapy is not one valid tool for solving the maze? I stopped to ponder on that since I have gotten a lot out of psychotherapy within the last few years.
  9. Brené Brown has some great resources for you to look into. Compassion towards yourself and self-acceptance are hard things to learn and take a lot of time but are completely worth it. I wish strength to your journey!
  10. My own experience is that highly restrictive and difficult-to-upkeep diets don't sit well with mental problems. I really appreciate Petersons work on other areas, but I'm really surprised how easily he promotes these diets especially for people with mental health issues. I'm not quite sure are eating disorders generally a bigger issue for women than men (knowing the ratio of Peterson's audience) but the comorbidity in these things is staggering. And no, rigid diets usually don't do any good to people's mental health and cannot be maintained in the long run, causing their own set of issues.
  11. Thank you for all of your thoughts, everybody! @Etagnwo, I'm really into spiral dynamics, and I feel like AQAL is a nice supplement for it. I do understand that I'm a person who needs structure, logical solutions and perceives the world in a specific way. Wilber seems to be an intelligent person and I have respect for him for the work he has done. I feel like some of his stuff has gone too far and/or the wrong direction, so I tend to look into his ideas (and everyone's, for that matter) with a grain of salt. This video was a good reminder for me to remember not to idolize or blindly follow certain people, and to do the research for myself. And in the end, take those parts that make sense to me, appreciate the work they have done and be neutral with the rest.
  12. Has anyone else listened to this one? What are your thoughts on this?
  13. I work female domineering industry and it's as shitty as it gets with the rivalry and disputes. Backstabbing is a daily occurrence. I have a colleague who somehow seems to have a beef with me, I can't figure out why. I don't know if she's like this with everybody or just with me. I have been trying to be neutral with her but it's getting more difficult as the time goes by. Now she found a technical error in my work and tattled our boss about it. She did not confront me first and went straight to our boss instead. I surely accept my responsibility for that error. They told me they are going to have a discussion with me about it. I just have a hard time being the bigger person here, yet again. She has made several errors herself, some of which I have talked over with her (trying to be understanding and helping her out with those) and some of which our team has addressed (many of them do it in pretty harsh manner). I have a huge urge to bring out this person's own errors to our bosses attention in this discussion. Obviously, that's my egos defense, since I myself have fucked up. I know it's a petty thought, but I'm kinda pissed off at her. She already tried this kind of a thing before but found out that I wasn't doing anything wrong and backed off, so I'm sure this thing is going to continue in the future. Anyone have any good resources to retrieve to?
  14. Dear Actualized.org community. I have noticed that my twitch with the Whatsapp app has been going a bit too far lately and I'm feeling really shitty about it, so I wish to work on it. I'm not on any social media because of this same issue and it has been working really well for me. Lately, I've been spending hours a day in Whatsapp and it has been starting to affect my relationships as well. I guess I'm trying to mask my loneliness with those meaningless conversations. I'm also in a long distance relationship at the moment and my increasing neediness with him is straining our relationship quite a bit nowadays. Any good resources to help me combat this?
  15. Thanks for your comment! And yes, I get that that's not quite the most important part of this exercise (and have since gotten a whole lot more gentle with the snap) :-D Mostly I'm shocked to find out how often I actually criticize things. It's really ingrained in my psyche over the years. But I'm trying very hard not to be a perfectionist about this issue too, and realize that it takes a lot of time to start to unravel this.