stevegan928

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About stevegan928

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    Lesser Chimp

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    Arizona
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    Male
  1. @Martin123 So it seems Matt is talking about self-love. Is he trying to say I shouldn't be doing the same meditation practices that I do? Or is he saying I should go about doing what I do but to stop judging myself, judging my ego, and caring what others think? My favorite self-love exercise is to look in the mirror and say with confidence, ease and assertiveness "I love and accept you exactly the way you are." I sometimes feel silly or drift off so then I love myself for that, I'll find it difficult to unconditionally love myself so I'll love myself for not loving myself. I do this practice when I'm home alone of course. I have another question though, am I showing insecurity by not wanting anyone else to hear me? I may be moving back in with my mom soon and her house is always full of people. Doing this same exercise there may do more harm than good since I'll just be worried that others are gonna hear and judge me which is the opposite of what I want while doing this exercise. Of course I could dig deeper and do it anyway whilst trying to stay mindful of my fear and embarrassment. That seems like it'd be really hard to do though.
  2. At 3:09 to 3:33 she talks about a particular technique. I was wondering if any of you know of a more detailed guide on how to do this?
  3. @Martin123 I'm not sure if I've been on the path long enough yet to know if I'm a narcissist of a sensitive energetic being. I currently feel I have aspects of both. I love the idea of being sent from heaven to save Earth of course. So far I feel I've gotten more confident, that could be because since getting into PD I can now see confidence is a virtue. For me personally this video is entertaining but probably not helpful, I see it turning into a back and forth battle in my mind as to weather I'm a narcissist or a heavenly angel. I must add though that I love that this guy Isn't afraid to use the word heaven, even God is risky in some spiritual circles. I'll certainly check out more of his stuff.
  4. @JoJo Although I don't fear for my life, I'm vary scared to do pickup, It's the main reason I'm doing this, to push my comfort zone, not to get laid, seldom did I even have any sexual thoughts in this process, all my energy was going towards building up the courage just to talk to a girl. The girl who was scared probably didn't think I wanted to hurt her, she was probably just disgusted by the needy energy I was carrying and wanted to get away, I understand. The last thing anyone would call me is scary if they've ever seen me in person. I understand it may get annoying for some woman to get approached by random dudes all the time, I also wouldn't doubt I put a damper on someones day by doing this. But my question to you is do you know a better way for me to get over my fear of talking to women? I would genuinely like to hear what your advice to me would be. I already stopped masturbating and watching porn, I hear that helps, but nofap alone only gets you so far.
  5. @Toby enjoying the video, but are you and Ken basically trying to tell me that if I become enlightened as a homeless bum, I'll be a zen devil?
  6. My issue is that I'm mostly interested in enlightenment. But I'm also at a point in my life where I feel I need to develop a healthy ego that knows it can act effectively in pressing life situations. I'm not quite as motivated to work on my ego because I'm constantly thinking there's something else I should be working towards, finding out who I am and what reality is. I worry that I'm chasing 2 rabbits and therefore will catch neither. I'm really only working towards a life that frees me up for consciousness work. While I work towards this life, should I also do enlightenment work? Or will this just confuse the ego. I'll still do meditation because of the focus and calmness benefits, but even then, when I meditate I often turn it into self-inquiry and start questioning the self and reality.
  7. @SFRL Thank you, In the past I watched a lot of pickup vids, I was addicted to RSD and took basically zero action. Now that I'm taking a bit of action, I find myself wondering how anybody applies their theory in the pressing situation of actually talking to a girl. So right now I'm just trying to get comfortable and maybe later I'll start re-watching some vids to learn how to get past "you look very pretty today".
  8. I know I have heard it's easier to transcend a healthy ego (a good self-concept) than it is to transcend an unhealthy ego (a bad self-concept) but I assumed that meant one should feed their ego a bit, give it some success, give it a lot of what it currently wants, so that your True Self can see that these things aren't actually making you happy. Is this why it's easier to become enlightened with a healthy self-esteem? But my real question is, is it bad to work on enlightenment and self-esteem at the same time? Or should enlightenment be after self-esteem work? I'm currently doing self-acceptance exercises in the mirror as well as doing a bit of self-inquiry and meditation. I'm thinking of also starting to do some of Nathaniel Brandon's self-esteem exercises as well. Can this be problematic? If so, when and how specifically does it become a problem?
  9. Traditionally someone who has "good taste" likes very specific art and hates or has no interest for the rest. In my opinion having "good taste" means to learn to love all of reality, the spiritual path is one way to reach this, but you can also just constantly look for things to enjoy about the present moment, this especially applies when you're somewhere shitty like a busy Walmart. Try to find a way you can change your perspective on the situation that makes it beautiful. A snowy mountaintop or an old church in rural America are easy to see beauty in. But can you see beauty in the machine that was built to destroy God, can you see beauty in the worst aspects of our capitalistic consumeristic culture? You don't need to be enlightened to do this, you can do this by changing your perspective on reality, try seeing it all as art, if you don't like it you just don't get it. Reality is just a very obscure work of art. Check out the photography of Wayne Wirs to understand this. He's an Enlightened mystic who recently disposed his own physical body, he drove his van all across the USA showing us God's perspective on reality through his photography and blog entries.
  10. thanks, just started cold showers but here in AZ they're only truly difficult for so long. I may try this ice bucket thing.
  11. I do a bit of that, I mostly do self love & acceptance exercises in the mirror but also a little bit of practicing game. But I mostly only practice opening with good posture and having an authentic smile while letting my intentions known. Hah, that's likely why I have nothing to say after 3 sentences. Practice makes perfect I guess.
  12. Also I must add there was one girl I approached who seemed really scared and actually told me she doesn't speak English LOL. I just laughed and as I turned around this tall black woman scowled at me, actually scared me a little because her and all her friends could've maybe beat me up if they wanted to.
  13. Setting: Daytime at the mall. Goal: Cold approach 10 girls in a "man to woman" fashion. Result: Approached 3 girls, quit, on my way to my bike I see 1 more girl getting off work so I approach her as well so make it 4. Things I did good: Kept a smile on my face, made okay eye contact, was man to woman. Things I did bad: Only approached 4 girls, didn't know what to say, made many excuses not to approach some girls. Conclusion: All I seem to know how to say is "Hi I saw you walking and wanted to tell you that you that you look very pretty today." Also the first approach is in fact very hard, harder than I thought It'd be, I also get really good at making up excuses when I'm out gaming. Most girls seemed under-aged so maybe It's best not to do daygame on the weekends at the mall? I'll be 21 soon so hopefully If I continue with this it'll get a lot easier when I can do nightgame. My main goal with this right now is just to grow and push my comfort zone, I'd say I did that tonight so I'm proud of myself even if I only approached 4 girls. In the near future my goals will be just to approach more girls than the day previously.
  14. I'm more than a week in now, when can I start expecting this? I just want to fuck anything that walks. Maybe It's because today I was deleting porn from my folder so I had to look at it? It was difficult, when I deleted most of my porn at first I did it really quickly and didn't look much at it, but today I found another file full of porn and I found myself scrolling through the file looking at all my old saved pictures and gifs. Also is meaningless sex not in true nofap spirit? Many people have called it mutual masturbation for a reason. There's been plenty of times, in fact maybe most of the sex I've ever head felt no different than a fap in the end.