Barna

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Posts posted by Barna

  1. Posted · Edited by Barna

    @RedLine This is actually a very good question.
    The answer is in realizing that you don't want the girl, you don't want money and you don't want status. It seems like you want these things, but actually, you don't.     These things are just excuses to why you can't love yourself right now. Your subconscious thinking is something like:
    "When I get the girl, the money, and the status, I can finally allow myself to love myself and love my life. Until then, I should suffer, because I'm not whole yet." 
    Notice the survival agenda in this. You made a contract with yourself that you'll love yourself only when you've reached your goals, and this way you motivate yourself to get ahead in life. 

    But there are more conscious ways to progress in life. So why don't you just burn this old contract, and allow yourself to love yourself and love your life exactly as it is right now? This is what you really want.

  4. Posted

    2 hours ago, WokeBloke said:

    My claim: It is impossible for something to make itself.

    All things that are made (such as this post) are brought into existence. In other words they once did not exist and then began existing after being made. If you think things can make themself you are essentially suggesting that something nonexistent can bring about its own existence. 

    Thus the source of all things must be unmade.

    This is the Christian worldview. This comes from the idea that God created the universe.

    However, if you had grown up in a Buddhist culture, you would see nature as self-creating and self-evolving. 

    It's all just social conditioning. Try to change your perspective with more agility until you become free of any perspective.

  5. Posted

    2 hours ago, StarStruck said:

    so could we say intention is the cause, meaning is the effect? 

    Exactly. Whenever you have an intention, meaning arises out of that intention. Everything that helps you to fulfill this intention becomes meaningful, or in other words, a means to an end, as @A Fellow Lighter has put it. 

    Or in other words, if you don't have goals, life becomes meaningless.

  6. Posted

    12 hours ago, Striving for more said:

    I do meditation for practical, reasons in order to improve myself. 

    Leo on Overcoming Fear part 2 :

    • "one way to overcome fear = to be in the present moment"" BUT ...
    • "It will take you several years just to have the ability to ground yourself in the present moment"
    • That's really uninspiring. I want my results in several months. 
    • If I was 16 this would be fine, but because I am at a prime biological age to be a human, I don't want any more of it to go to waste. 
    • I need fast results >> 3 - 6 months max. 

    If I combine meditation with lots of other practices & work every day at it ... can I cut the process from "several years to months"?

    I only care about the selfish results from meditation, I don't want to be jesus, just what probides higher emotional intelligence & success 

    What will cut the process from several years to several months? 

    (Fearless, present, calm, focused, attentive, fast learner, charimsatic, good listener, engaged & engaging, body awareness, observant, self control, mindful) 

    It's not like you meditate and then you get the results of meditation. It's not like going to the gym and getting muscles as a result.

    Meditation is the side effect of internally oriented curiosity. People who are curious about silence and awareness tend to sit and observe it. And other people look at them and say "they are meditating and they get all kinds of results from it". But this logic is backwards.

    First, you have to be curious about your own inner field. You have to be curious enough to sit in silence and observe it every day, even learn some practices to help you to guide your attention.

    And the funny thing is that while you have all this curiosity and the practice, you won't get any answers to your questions, you will just have deeper and deeper questions until you realize that you know nothing at all. And once you become comfortable with not knowing anything, fear starts to disappear. The more fear disappears, the more healthy you'll become mentally, and every other magic comes simply from mental health.

    The timeline depends on you. How curious are you about your deepest self? 

  8. Posted

    Do some breakthrough doses of psychedelics to see the ultimate depth of reality. Then you'll see that life is a game, you won't take it so seriously so you can enjoy the hell out of it! 

    This is what I did and it worked out perfectly. Now my goals are again very practical: financial independence and fitness. But I'm not suffering to reach these, I enjoy the path. Because it's an amazing game :)

  11. Posted

    25 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

    I know what you mean.

    Yes you have to take care of your mental and physical well being so you can continue helping others.

    It that sense everything is a win win situation.

    ❤ 

    Of course, but helping others is also not a mission in which I seek fulfillment. There is no fulfillment in the future that's more fulfilling than the always present now moment.

    It's simply a choice that I'm making. Because sure, I could choose to lay on the couch all day.
    But is that the most loving thing that I can do for others? Probably not.
    And is it the most loving thing that I can do for myself? Well, laying on the couch is the comfort zone. There's nothing wrong with being in the comfort zone from time to time, but habitual comfort zone seeking is unhealthy in the long run. So laying on the couch is not the most loving thing that I can do for myself either. 

    And I guess you do the same kind of choices instinctively. But I like trying to understand how my internal decision-making mechanism works because if I bring light into it then I can resolve the shadows there.

  12. Posted

    3 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

    Interesting...sounds like spiritual bondage.

    I remember feeling like I needed to uphold this big spiritual persona as a happy and always calm spiritual dude.

    The worst was the guilt, like if I forgot to do something or said something out of line with my spiritual beliefs I would feel so guilty and unspiritual afterwards.

    What a ride!

    ❤ 

    :D Fortunately it's not like that for me at all. I don't do anything just for the looks of it. It's just that every time I make a choice, I try to make the most loving choice considering the situation as a whole. Sometimes this choice seems selfless because it's the most loving thing that I can do for others. Sometimes it seems selfish because it's the most loving thing that I can do to myself. It always depends on how I can add the most value to the whole situation.

    I guess you just make choices instinctively. That doesn't work for me because in my perspective instinct is just a feeling, and I never know if that feeling comes from my ego or from my soul. 

     

  13. Posted

    7 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

    Yep, there is no escaping the appearance of having responsibilities within conditioned society, and there are plenty of consequences for not upholding them.

    For me, responsibility is not about the consequences. Responsibility comes from love. Responsibility is the ability to respond. And I choose to respond in the most loving way that I'm able to. That's what responsibility means for me. 

  14. Posted

    14 hours ago, VeganAwake said:

    I would tell you first and foremost that there's nothing right or wrong with getting irritated and being mean. Recognizing that clearly can diminish guilt or suffering sometimes but not always.

    There's just not a one method fits all approach to it.

    You could try to start a new habit of recognizing early the feelings of irritation when they start to arise and do breathing exercises.

    Make up an excuse that you have a doctor's appointment that you forgot about when you start feeling irritated during a conversation.

    Pretend you got a phone call.

    Don't talk to morons.

    Don't speak or give advice when you feel irritated and mad.

    Keep a note in your pocket that you pull out when you feel irritated that says: "Calm the fuk down barna, it's not that serious".

    Whatever method you choose try to make it creative and fun if possible.

    ❤ 

    Exactly, that's the kind of advice that I would give people too (except for the lying to others part).

    See, this is called taking responsibility for our mental state and its effect on others. Maybe you don't call it "responsibility" because that's too much of an egoistic term for you. But in the end, we do the same thing, we just have a different vocabulary to describe it.

  16. Posted

    1 hour ago, VeganAwake said:

    This makes no sense because something that seems to be a mistake initially can end up being the best decision of your life.... so in that sense there's never a knowing whether something would be considered a so-called mistake or not.

    I'm not talking about mistakes in a selfish sense. I mean mistakes that have effects on other people. Like a badly worded response that hurts someone. Isn't that instinctual? 

  17. Posted

    12 minutes ago, VeganAwake said:

    I get what your saying.

    Here it's recognized that responsibilities are just concepts within the dream story where meaning, purpose & value feel real and important.

    Here, It just doesn't feel like love has anything to do with helping people

    It feels more instinctual than anything else.

    Living by instinct is the ultimate comfort zone. You can do all kinds of mistakes all day and you can always say "Mistake is a concept, I was just following my instincts". This feels like being stuck on the instinctual level. 

  18. Posted

    1 hour ago, VeganAwake said:

    @Barna It seems like most people just want an outlet for someone to listen to them.

    We keep things bottled up because we are afraid of being judged. They want a judgment free outlet.

    Most people aren't really interested in lifestyle changes because that feels difficult and threatening to their self-identity. (Which it can be)

    A paraplegic therapist in california once told me sometimes the best thing to do is just listen and then if it feels like someone is having real difficulties in a certain area simply ask them "Would you like me to try and help you with this".

    Because that way you're empowering them to make the decision and they don't feel like anything is being pushed on them.

    Anyways it's all very interesting, thanks for the video share also.

    ❤ 

     

    If you have the possibility to help someone to improve their motivations, don't you have the responsibility to do so? Isn't that the most loving thing that you can do for a friend who is stuck in their perspective? 
    Because the other option would be that I don't spend time with them anymore, and this doesn't feel like the more loving choice.

  19. Posted

    3 hours ago, BlueOak said:

    Also please reflect that if you can help people get into joyful states then that is a huge gift to give, never forget that. Its massive, it ripples across that person's entire life and everything they are going to experience.

    If you can do dream yoga while sleeping. Maybe its time to help people while sleeping too? When asked and you feel like it. Maybe work on a skill you've been wanting to learn (though i've never consciously done this, unconsciously I do it all the time seeing if I can exist in that state)

    I don't want to expand too much. But only do that for others when asked/accepted or sought out. And only in joyful states. Everything is a creation of your mind. 

    All the best.

    Thanks, I'll probably post about it when I have any success in it.

  21. Posted

    5 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

    Haha yeah I have been there/am there so I can relate. I think you are using your own joy and desire to help as a way to avoid the spiritual work and break your stagnation. Like your reasons make sense and maybe helping other people become more joyful is what you're meant to do now, but I have a sense that it's an elaborate ego game to avoid spiritual work.

    I'm not even trying to develop spiritually now. I don't know why people keep suggesting that I should. Is it against the forum guidelines to stagnate? :D 

    I've been doing spiritual work since high school (I'm 29 now, early mid-life crisis period), but now I realized that it doesn't make any sense to spend 8 hours a day doing something that I'm not really passionate about (framework development), so I try to spend all my free time and energy into changing my career. I simultaneously do crypto investing to retire early so I have to spend some time learning that too. So I have no time or energy left for spiritual work.
    I've been thinking about doing dream yoga because I can do that while sleeping. Thanks for reminding me, I should probably start doing that.

    5 hours ago, Raptorsin7 said:

    I would say if you can effectively bring joy to people than there's no issue, but I would be on the look out for if you think you're helping people, but people aren't getting the message or aren't benefitting from what you're saying, for whatever reason.

    Yeah, that's totally the case. Joy is a tricky thing because it's one of the most inner states, so to get there you have to peel down most of your insanity. So I think people who talked to me had the feeling that I'm skinning them alive. I had a lot of joy in that, but they didn't. :D 

    That's one of my issues. I have a hard time tolerating other people's insanity because I subconsciously taught myself to not tolerate my own.

  22. Posted

    8 hours ago, SQAAD said:

    @Barna

     

    How can I get some of that Peace you are talking about? That's what I want the most. I am not afraid of peace at all (I think). 

    That's why deep dreamless sleep is the best thing in the entire universe from my perspective. 

    I love pure nothingness. This is Nirvana I guess. And Samsara is all the sh!t we have to go through. Survival is a type of hell even if you are a billionaire.

    Nothing and something are the two sides of the same coin. Wanting one and pushing away the other is insanity. It's like saying that you want only shadows without a light source.

  23. Posted

    20 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

    @Barna

    'Things are Fine just the way they are. Yet still things are a Nightmare' 

    I love this paradox :-) 

    Me too :) 

    9 minutes ago, SQAAD said:

    @Michael Jackson

    I think all fears boil down to fear of mental and physical pain. 

    Why would someone ever fear death or anything else if it wouldn't cause any pain? 

    It's not just about pain, it's also about intensity and duration. For example, people are also afraid of peace. There's a kind of peace that has such a high intensity and such a long duration that people call it death.