No1Here2c

@Sugarcoat Glad we both agree. I think It is wise of you to be wary of potential traps. Addiction is a real thing. Not all fellow humans can be trusted. The Spiritual journey is oftentimes much too intimate to trust in the hands of anything external to oneself. Be it chemical or otherwise...

@Sugarcoat Enlightenment, at its core, is the recognition that there is no separation between You and the Universe. Inseparable from the stars, the moon, and the sun. This is certainly achievable through purely internal means. Within and without is a duality relative to each perspective. Your within is my without. My within is your without. Subject and Object is a two part distinction, yet there could not be one without the other. This means its true nature is singlular, rather than two separate halves. Many people have an enlightenment experience without exogenous chemical assistance. This is typically a temporary shift in conscious state. After the peak experience, things are often recontextualized to some degree but you inevitably find yourself experiencing separation again. There are various depths and potencies to enlightenment experiences. What the psychedelic can do is amplify Consciousness such that it naturally begins to recognize these dualities. This heightened state of consciousness becomes unified within itself as all dualities begin to dissolve. From the enlightened state there is no within or without. They exist as one seamless unification. Indistinct. From this state you are not separate from the psychedelic, just as you are not separate from the stars, the moon, or the sun. The psychedelic does not promise permanent enlightenment. In order to sustain and live from this state would take tremendous work and miraculous circumstances.

How I long to understand what Love is. Though I do not. I have merely glimpsed an infinitesimal speck of true Love.

My experience with this journal thus far has turned out to be a pleasant ritual. Not necessarily easy, but rewarding. It provides a space for reflection, contemplation, games, exploration and experimentation. It is both a playful and serious endeavor. I have been implementing more stereotypical mindfulness meditation into my day to day routine. This has also been a rewarding experience. Again, not easy, not always fun, but highly rewarding. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Consciousness I am actively working to anchor my own psychology and biology to Consciousness as it is understood to me. This is not a complicated endeavor, but its simplicity belies the harrowing challenge it invokes. It would seem such that the core of the society I currently find myself within, is profoundly oblivious to Consciousness. It is a depth of dissociation which bewilders my mind. It is absurd how far astray humanity has gone. This presents many obstacles to a successful and effective implementation of higher degrees of awareness. I am afraid. I get the impression that a culling is underway. By this I refer to a targeted culling, specifically of myself. When I view my life in context and plot its trajectory, I understand that I simply will not survive without massive effort towards the implementation of Consciousness in my life. This is much to my dismay. I surely am unsettled at the thought, but one would think my behavior would better reflect this emotional response. It is in the department of action and execution that I am falling short. This is not to say that no effort is being made, as one certainly is. It is the case that I must burgeon, and soon, or I will surely meet my demise.

I have had quite profound experiences with Rick Simpson Oil, also referred to as RSO. It is an edible form of Cannabis extracted with ethanol, contains all the bioactive compounds.

It is not that God lacks intelligence It is that you lack active recognition of God's intelligence.

Consider, perhaps, that mediocrity and all of the meaning ascribed to it, is a function of the human mind. All emotional content and mental imagery you have revolving around this idea of the mediocre is like a brief passing of phantom smoke. But where does the smoke originate? That is the question you should be attempting to get at. By becoming fixated on this idea of God being mediocre, you are becoming distracted from the Truth. The passing smoke seems to be causing a great emotional upset in you. Why fixate on the smoke? Look for the fire.

Insignificance is not to be feared, but reveled in.

Being October 31st, the day of Halloween, I do figure it may be appropriate to stick with tradition; I shall consider the topic of Fear. What is your tolerance for fear? Has your gut ever told you that something is just not right about a certain location, object, or experience? Ghosts, witches, black cats, evil spirits. Why is Halloween associated with the supernatural and superstitious? Has your sixth sense ever warned you of a sinister threat? Witchcraft? Black magic? Have you ever drank a Witches Brew? Have you ever had a wicked spook? Has a maleficent terror ever pierced your mind? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Why do all mannerisms of fear evoke such strong reaction? Is it all entangled in survival? Why does the deer flee at any subtle sound or movement? What lurks in the wilderness? Why must she live incessantly on edge? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Imagine, just for a minute, what does the prey feel when dominated by the apex predator? What is the predatory instinct? What is the instinct of the prey? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What's your greatest fear? Darkness? Uncertainty? The Supernatural? Spiders? Snakes? Maybe a Tiger? Bear with cubs? Disease? Pain? being confined? trapped? Mental illness? Delirium? Psychosis? Death? Eternity? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I will not walk alone in the woods at night. Twilight and dusk create a spooky atmosphere that promptly get me moving towards the direction of the car. The encroachment of dark and the dwindling ability to visually distinguish the environment evoke a deep dread; a terror of being dragged away by some mysterious dark force. Perhaps it is a terror of losing my sense of direction. But it feels more serious. As if the psyche may slip out into madness. Maybe gradually... Maybe very quickly... This condition of diminishing light is perfect for the arisal of perceptual illusions and artifacts which justify the fear. Sometimes convincing enough to send me sprinting for my life and sanity. Are they merely illusion? Could there be a cryptic malevolence at play? Being out in the wilderness and getting the spooks dont mix well. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ What is Sanity? How is it defined? What is Perception? What is Hallucination? How is accurate perception distinguished from hallucinatory mirage? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Every day is a new adventure. The moments between the dreams of the morning and the closing of the eyes at night are filled with opportunities. These are countless opportunities to learn, strengthen, and gain insight. Although, these positive developments must come a cost. They come at the high price of casting away unconsciousness. The nature of unconsciousness is such that I am not aware of it while it is occuring. Unconscious thought patterns, behavioral activities, and emotional responses are extensively rooted into the mechanics of my survival. It is not recognized to what degree unconsciousness goes unrecognized, because lack of recognition is unconsciousness. If it were to magically recognize itself, unconsciousness would then immediately be brought into awareness, made conscious of, and it could no longer be unaware.

I wish to express my thoughts & emotions through a medium which may be returned to and reflected upon. This is due to a recognition of the utility that the process of journaling provides to my development. I have an active desire to gain selfish and personal advantage through journaling. I have not journaled in the past, nor do I have any real ideas on how to effectively journal for personal insight. I do think that much insight has gone largely untapped and lay dormant on these empty pages. -----------

@Leo Gura The only reason I'd end up here would be to Awaken. That is what I want. Awakening.

I have come to see that I am living in a state of unawareness. I do not wish to live from this state anymore. Yet I feel as if I do not have the way out. It would seem the vast majority of things in life have the aim of keeping me in a state of sleep. There are other things which seem to work in order to help wake me up. Although the more I begin to implement these higher consciousness activities and tools, the harder it seems the sleeping aspects of my being & reality work in order to blind me and push me deeper into my dream state. There appears to be quicksand and mirages everywhere I look, and any direction I choose to progress in seems to have a way to pull me into it's traps. They seem so deliberately placed. I am no religious person, yet It feels to be the work of the devil. It is as if I'm lost in a hall of mirrors, a shifting labyrinth which has no end. What ever shall I do?

Of course it is obvious, that a limited thing, given a particular form is not infinite. Of course, for example a Spider, could not possibly be Infinite. Just one look at it and you will see, it has clear defined boundaries, namely, an exoskeleton. It has particular colors and not others, along with certain textures and shapes. It also has specific abilities and lacks others. For example the average spider that one might imagine, has the capacity to spin webs, and is not capable of vocalizing in a human way. While yes all of this is true. We must first go back and question our initial assumption. So is it possible that a limited thing, given a particular form, could be Infinite? And If so how could that be? I am here to tell you that yes. It is possible. "Mad-talk that is— That would be outrageous. Show me a spider which has absolutely no limits. An Infinite Spider." Instead what you should be asking is: "But how?" Now I am not telling you that i can take you to a spider which you can sit down and have a cup of tea with while you chat about life. No, that is not what I am saying. I am saying that when you look at a spider, a "real life" spider, you are looking at God. Directly. When you look at a spider you are in direct contact with Divinity. "But how? That spider didn't create the universe." That's not what I'm saying either. What i am saying is that spider has infinite depth. It keeps going and going. With absolutely no end. And no real beginning either. I am not saying that this spider has always existed and is never going to die. Although in a sense it can feel that way when you really understand what I am trying to get at. It is not a matter of who created who, how, or even when. It is a matter of seeing Directly into what is Real. That very spider which some may initially look at with fear and disgust, is actually Perfect, Infinitely complex and intelligent, Divine, and, well, Love. Although that last bit I struggle to fully grasp. It's a tricky thing to see Reality, to fully grasp it, even just a limited part. But if you really do see through to the very bottom of a limited piece of this world, you will understand it all. it is possible. At the end of the day, you are just as much Reality as the Earth you stand on. If Reality cannot see itself as what it is, who can? So, while I cannot directly show you how any of this is possible— as that would take an insight on your behalf, I do hope i was able to help guide you in the right direction. Maybe at least get you curious, asking the questions. A Spider is a Focal Point of Infinity.