Infinite Tsukuyomi

I wanted to share what works for a mind (mine) that is ADHD and OCD (self-diagnosed) in regards to contemplation. You may try these out if you don't already. 1.) Thinking out loud Just working through the logic of something with my voice works for me a lot better than thinking alone. It also works for me with everyday problems like fixing machinery at work. 2.) Pacing Pacing helps my body get involved when I contemplate and think through everyday problems. This also works for me if I am speaking to a group or teaching a class at work. 3.) Supercharging Not Knowing with Questions My mind tends to try to land on conclusions often (knowing). To manually flip the direction of my contemplation back into not knowing I'll take that conclusion or suggestion and turn it into a question. "Truth is the Ultimate Logic" >>> "Is Truth the Ultimate Logic?" "Meaning is something I imagine" >>> "Is Meaning something I imagine?" 4.) Suggestive Inquiry This is one is not knowing for the body. Suggesting that the body is holding an answer, usually in a specific spot, implying that you don't know but could know. I borrowed this idea from Gay Hendricks and remixed it into contemplation. I also use a bit of reverse psychology on myself, and pretend to know something to see where feelings of uncertainty or lying appear in the body. "What is this reaction to meaninglessness in the stomach?" Share your own process or anything that works better than you thought it would. My list is not all inclusive of what I do.

Video is not mine, just sharing with everyone.

@Ananda This And those other people you want to know more than don't want it either and won't understand any explanation of it you come up with. They will stick to their guns, which is their conception of what must be true.

It appears that productivity as held by us collectively is the thing being questioned when it comes to ADHD. Cred is looking at productivity, victim mindset, success and conformity and looking at a new way for the neuro-divergent mind to approach them at all. I would argue that victim mindset is a reactionary term created to describe people who are more non conformist in their approach to life. You mentioned "vs figuring out to how to adapt to it", which is precisely the subject matter. Adaptation is survival conformity. Neurodivergence according to Cred seems to have a built in authenticity bias making this adaptation less likely. A neurodivergent probably wants to achieve their goals and feel aligned and authentic while doing it. Being blinded by survival pressures is anti authenticity, which is often necessary. And yes, it is only because of the times we live in that so many different people can be supported and survive. So our current way of doing things is primed more for survival and less for authenticity, as expected. It is from this exact position that new more effective ways of living can be imagined and perhaps realized. As an accomplished man with ADHD, It would be a stretch to say I have a victim mindset for example. I can go on long inauthentic stretches of mostly focused activity and find ways to get my success. This comes with the cost of not knowing who I am, which then triggers the vicious cycle of self-improvement. I actually derived pomodoro before realizing it was already discovered, it had noticeable but marginal effects overall. I still use it, but I am aware that I only use it provisionally; it is an external system because my internal system is different. Overall, Cred does not seem to have a victim mindset but is open-minded and doing a neurodivergent God's work. Most people don't question anything. They will believe the victim mindset rhetoric because it is readily available.

Everything in the Universe does indeed come full circle doesn't it. It is truly amazing, and annoying.

@Oppositionless Wow this topic has been a game changer, thanks for posting it. I suspected relationship OCD about 11 years ago, then perhaps falsely concluded I was dealing with just fearful avoidant attachment style later on. I haven't heard the term in a long time but after visiting the website, everything makes more sense now.

Exactly, an expectation to know math, but not know what knowing is.

Yep yep. Which ironically is "that which should be", which is opposite of Truth.

Most of what we do is moralize to each other about how we "should" feel towards life. When everyone's telling you that you don't want something bad enough, eventually you start believing it. The heavy emphasis on personal responsibility does indeed make seeing the world as a problem the taboo. It's a catch 22.

I have a question for the guys here then. How many of you are comfortable with other guys coming up to you to shoot their shot? How are you turning them down? I would say that rejection etiquette is almost non-existent in modern self help. 1000s of videos and techniques on approaching but I never see "the art of rejecting others". The more an predictable and standardized rejection becomes, I surmise that more people of all walks would approach. I tried to talk to a hot guy today, he didn't even respond. Ouch! 1) I'm all for a casual conversation, and try to pivot into asking for a number. I don't think guys are that into being approached though. 2) 1 today, just him this week. 4 I last month I was attracted to, and a dozen or so strangers otherwise 4,) I can think of two or three girls that have shot their shot. Never any guys.

It's low calories I'm after. By focusing on lowering my body fat (calorie deficits) with the diet I described, I get really good health markers and prevent diabetes, since it runs in the family.

I can't find the exact recipe for my protein cinnamon rolls, but I watched it on youtube. Casein, flour, artificial sweetner, barely any butter. The frosting was made with greek yogurt. I also like to buy belvita biscuits at the store, crumble them, add fruit and top with a frosting made with greek yogurt and squeezed lemon juice or some sort of lemon flavored powder like crystal light. Protein donuts. Ready for it? Hamburger buns lol. You make whatever flavored jelly you want to go in the middle with jello powder, crystal light, and greek yogurt. Then the outside, you can put artificial powdered sugar. Regular fruit tastes more amazing than it used to, since switching to non nutritive sweeteners. I could single handedly make nectarines go extinct.

The quick version: Ego backlash is the answer that your mind is choosing because it sounds the most noble, this would happen even without your meditation eventually. You don't currently have everything you feel like you want in life yet. Your mind is not like other people's but you've masked it extremely well through doing what you "should" be doing. This type of work is highly appealing to who you believe you should be. Yes I relate, and you are not alone. You will receive even more self help esque replies, and you will eat them up. The long version: The good news is that you are likely doing the right things in the spirituality sense, as you get closer and closer to your true nature the ego does indeed backlash. I have to agree with most of what Cred says, meditation will make your problems worse before it makes them better. It took me awhile to accept that. I still meditate but I don't confuse it with my life situation changing. My spiritual practices are for deepening awakenings, and having ever clearer consciousness. Meditation is not a prescription for the neuro-divergent mind. Avoid romanticizing your suffering, there is a possibility it could become toxic. The predicament in which you find yourself, your current life, is not yet tailored to what you want it to be. I suggest get busy and get lost in the process of getting it to where you want it to be. I say that, as to not have you hypnotize yourself with your goals, but rather with the boring day to day things that move you closer to your ideal life. You already meditate, so you have the discipline to make small steps towards various goals you might have. My experience is basically a 1:1 to yours. But after some time, I am convinced that I experience these mood swings and polarities due to undiagnosed ADHD, OCD, bipolar and other disorders. I am considered quite successful to people who know me, was a smart honor roll kid and well functioning in general (from the outside). The inner world is where things are a stark contrast. I read the book Neurosis and Human Growth by Karen Horney. This book brought me to tears and deep anger. I may as well be who is described, even down to this line "He may even speak multiple languages yet does not think he is capable" (slightly paraphrased). We tend to be very attracted to self-help, self actualizing, spirituality and growth in general. These fields are perfect, because they are explicitly "growth areas" but for certain personalities, which I'm suggesting you have, they are ways to avoid more pressing work. What I would do differently if I woke up 21 years old again? I would prioritize actions and activities that undo the identity I built as a child. 9/10 you avoid things that might make you seem like you are not smart and you don't have your shit together. As a child you had to appear as competent, obedient and intelligent. (I'm projecting this onto you, and that is not lost on me). I've been contemplating this for a long time, and only recently got this deep and it is VERY deep. I realized after a skydive that I would rather skydive than dance while someone watched me. A provisional 180 in your life might be useful (I'm still testing this). Meaning allowing yourself to be embarrassed, be wrong, look like a fool, look weak, be mediocre. No one likes these feelings, but it is worse for us. Positive thinking is not for you, but solutions thinking is. Write as many problems about yourself as you can think of, it doesn't matter if they overlap of seem unimportant, then write what you will focus on with action when that problem comes up throughout the day in your mind. This will act as a quick reference guide to ensure you focus on the solution. Your mind is bombarding you with all your problems and it will not stop, then you start feeling better, motivated, inspired, embodied just to fall from grace over and over again as you described. Yes I relate, no you are not alone in that. People like us rarely talk about it in detail, because it is not popular and we sound lazy, anti self help or nihilistic. It is important that you do not let anyone gaslight you about this, because that will start a second fire, wherein you start to doubt your own experience of yourself.

Plenty of meat, I mostly optimize for protein. Plenty of veggies fresh, canned and frozen. I only drink distilled water with silica and salt in it and zero sugar soda. I love to cook and was a journeyman meat cutter for many years so, cooking with meat is a very creative act for me, lots of love. I've always had a sweet tooth, so something sweet as well, even if I have to make something with artificial sweetener. My diet is basically the same as Coach Greg on Youtube. It is focused on getting in macro and micronutrients while also being low in calories and being something you want to eat.

I didn't even think of the social part of it. But yea, My brother in law just tried to hand me a blunt he was smoking while talking to my sister. He knows I don't smoke but will try to "verify" once every few months.