Puer Aeternus

GG boys This could REALLY kick things off in so many ways. But even if orange man wasn't president, I still feel it would've been inevitable.

Dude I used to think everyone was like me period until I realized I was one crazy bitch! Ways people are different is very interesting to me and I'm still sooo bad at even grasping it.

The ultimate answer we await

As long as I maintain cognitive function you mustn't hold back. It's a win if you re-arrange me in a way that even fewer people will desire interaction with me after

Mostly similar to yours. Don't really use music to switch my mood, for me it's an amplifier I put on when I'm already in a certain mood! When I'm neutral and listening to music, it rarely affects me. Even if it's emotionally provocative, it'll just ping off me. I do have a few exceptions where I use music to alter my mood though. 1. Am going to the gym and want to swap from neutral to caveman hype brain. 2. I'm processing hard things, am sitting deeply in my body, and want relaxing music as an extra layer of stability. Though I haven't felt the need to do this one in awhile. 3. When I'm feeling neutral but suddenly have a craving to listen to one of my favorites. It'll send me from 0-100 real quick.

Awww! No wonder you know! Ohnoes, I'm becoming slightly emotionally invested in this outcome. My dome must be booped with the cinderblock of truth to return to my senses.

Ya, I think Natasha is probably right here with her perspective Seems like irregardless of your choice, it will be up to you to initiate and lead in the direction you choose out of this situation.

Sounds a bit confusing, like a lot of this is her own insecurity. She complains about it but still goes back with you? Seems like kind of an annoying game to play, like she's blaming you for her own lack of boundaries. Or she's trying to steer you into a relationship. Also, who is the one initiating most of these times in this scenario? The wording makes it seem like she is, which is doubly weird. How often is she initiating in general versus you? Also what do you mean you are not boyfriend/girlfriend yet? It's been six months, do you want to date this woman or not? I feel like that answers how invested you should be. If you'd like to date her. Then yes put in the extra effort of course so it's more like a proper relationship where you might not have sex all the time. If you don't know or aren't interested. Then the line on what you should do is thinner. If you're FWB, maybe you're friends too but the primary motive for this relationship is sex. It's pretty clear what she wants.. Or at least what she says she does! More bonding time, more physical intimacy but without sexual intimacy coming into play so often. You can humor her and do more of that. But if you don't want to date and she's turning you into an emotional support and starts having less sex. It's time for you to re-negotiate.. but I can imagine how well that would probably go.

I've had some struggle periods when sad music was my comforter. I think listening to positive music would've just felt like forcing it in those moments and rather inauthentic. Sometimes amplification is useful. So I think it's difficult to say! To me it's very personal and very dependant on the situation. But I do think you have some points. I can see how it can cause unnecessary lingering. Something can definitely be said for using music to boost the mood too! But yeah- If I want some endearing and cute music to lift the vibe, Mag Bay is my go to

Meh. Nah, not weak. People get all gaslighty about suicide, oooh it's cause you're weak. Nope. There's just no visible light at the end of the tunnel. People can get stuck in unbearable circumstances. And I remember yours from previous posts. It's no damn tea party.

PFFFF

Tsk tsk missed a generational hating spree because the servers went to shit during the towards seconds I was going to rant. Jokes on them babyyyy only takes ten minutes for my hateful clip to reload!!! Practice session 2 . 0 !!!! I hate people whose sole purpose on planet earth seems to be desiring to breed. I simply do not understand it, and I swear EVERY TIME it's always the fuckers who definitely shouldn't be within 50 meters of a child let alone making their own little gremlins organically I hate being raised by absolutely clueless people that didn't take a singular fuck off second to contemplate if it was worth birthing me into this shit hole. Mom you've hated every job you've ever worked but noooooo lets have a little lizard just so that he can go through all that too. GENIUS, ABSOLUTE FUCKING GENIUS. I hate that every single thing I buy is probably harvested from some worker making pennies on the hour laboring sixteen hours a day, and that it's basically inescapable or I have to do literally obscene amounts of research, just to MAYBE avoid this I hate how rotten it all is to the core. How humans are, how corruption populates every single aspect of life. We really cannot have nice things, we cannot have pure things. Because we are THAT fundamentally stupid. I hate going to the grocery store and knowing that all the aisles are filled with poisonous, toxic shit. I hate how stupid the people responsible are and that they're usually not even mentally well lit enough to clock the manipulation and end up poisoning themselves too. I hate the university system. I hate the exorbitant expenses, but even if it was affordable you're still asking me to waste for years of my life jumping through hoops memorizing things I will immediately forget, exercising the bare minimum critical thinking because it's not really about understanding. It's about regurgitation. I hate family gatherings. I hate pretending to like everyone and give a singular shit when some of these people I'd really not like to talk to. But oh nooooo it's a social game you have to play! Grandma will get upset! Grandma.. can lmao. She can fuck off! Did I say I hate people? Is it not clear that I hate people? I really hate people. I hate how people are well meaning sacks of poo who believe they're the good guys no matter how face deep in manure they are. Walking around, acting special, mate you have turd all over your face. Take a bath and stop being such an ignorant wanker. I hate owning a car, I hate parking lots. I hate that scenic American cities look like a business park.. ah the beautiful view of Dollar Tree, McDonald's, and Walmart. It's like the landscape is a physical representation of how stupid we are. I hate how miserable people like to make themselves. Stuck in some shit and never change, they never change, they have to get smacked with their stupidity one thousand times over the same thing they're messing up before they'll even consider changing their ways.

The signals cannot be more mixed.. You're connected to everything by source. The person on the street, my neighbors window cactus, even the stray pube on my floor that I need to sweep up. All you and you are it. But then, flip People are exhausting and I cannot be asked to deal with them. Losing interest. My values do not align with this place and they don't value me or understand what I have to offer. My way through this life is profound self-sufficiency on all levels. Flip, flip, flip My personality had no solidity, it was whatever was most pleasing to the immediate person I was talking to. Two legged chameleon vibes lick, lick. I was the crazy one, everyone else was normal. There was always a sense I better fit in or else they'd find out what I was and hurt me. What "I" was, I didn't really understand. Until I started to in a hefty amount of time. Deconstructing it all was a bitch and a half and I was gaslighting myself roughly half the time. Until the tables spun round and it all came to me. I wasn't the crazy one, I mean I am but. But what I'd once tried to FORCE myself to fit into was a dysfunctional mirage. I was different, needs/lifestyles misaligned, incomprehensible to those around me. One that could never just fit. And so, with this shift. I've been building. The machine elves have been working over time laying brick walls for the sake of my protection from the world. Ego lifting weights and doing lines of protein powder. Letting go of co-dependent desires, working through pain. Towards a future where I provide as much for myself as humanly possible and feel safe. One where I'm content but alone. It's zapped much of my humanly desire for socializing. To seek less externally. And yet.. I can't help but wonder, if it's all delusion? If I'm just tricking myself all over again. That it's just more traumatic goop, defensey mechanismo. It's not quite right. Because. The expansive experiences I've had.. quite the opposite vibe. Sometimes they return to me in open moments and I can integrate them further. Feeling so vast, connected, peaceful. Not a wall in sight. How to balance the transcendence while being stuck in human form and the limitations that brings? Flip flipping between these poles is super confusing and disorienting. How to integrate the two. I still reside mostly in separation, but I wonder how differently I'd be at the opposite end of the pole? Would my whole way of living flip on its head and I become a nearly unrecognizable person? Big questions.

HAHAHA This is amusing. So you're telling me, I can be the BIGGEST hater Or as Razard clarified, the strongest disliker. And through being the strongest disliker, I shall burn through this sensation. May it be fun until it isn't. Then I will know what's probably on the other side. Thanks for that one, I think I'll be using it in the future

@Never_give_up hey boss! That's a lot of stuff, I'm feeling for you man. Just sounds rather exhausting innit. Lacking the energy but still having to push on, exhausting. In my experiences, addictions are coping mechanisms for your root problems. Trying to cut off the addiction- may be necessary, even stabilizing sometimes. But if you just cut it off and don't have a better way to cope, it's just going to replace with something new. Got to get down to that pain, whatever that may be. And that's not easy. Nooope. I'm not really sure what you need but I'm curious what things you've tried in the past to deal with all this?? And I will say. This is a facade. People almost always pretend to be better than they actually are. It's a secret game everyone plays. Maybe they superficially are doing more than you, but there are secret struggles happening behind the scenes that you'd never know. Take care and best to you!

Though I'll give you two points! 1. I've used some pretty colorful language because I keep seeing variations of this take, and I'm quite irritated and tired of it. That has spilled through here. 2. I've partially crusaded that frustration here and you've been on the receiving end of my wider frustration when that really just isn't fair to you! I do think I've made good counter-points behind it all though. But I do apologize for the first two!

*Posts observations publicly* Whaaa- you don't like them? Nono don't argue against me, take your drama awayyyy! If you don't want pushback don't post. That being said, you should start that marketing thread. Does sound interesting!

Congratulations, that is a brilliant sample size of one person. Let's assign you an average man to be your best friend. Let's put em through all those same experiences as you. Really think it's going to be different? You really think that's the deciding factor.

Most men want to have sex. Most men want relationships. Men here are more inclined towards truth/spirituality. Most men here try dating, but find it more difficult to find a partner with these matching values. Then complain grrrrr why don't women want truth! They're just creatures of emotions and survival! But most people aren't into truth/spirituality. You think the women who care about this stuff have an easier time? No. They don't. It makes such a hilariously miniscule difference. Yet when you come to rant about ohhh women just don't care about truth! You're not really saying much of relevant importance. You're just standing naked in front of us with all your own problems that you're now preaching about. You only care so much about this one metric because it affects you personally and you've simplified it down to gender to make it feel like you understand reality. That's why there's so many posts about this here!

Want an actual model? An actually decent model? I'll pull a better model out of my ass. We'll call it the truth/spirituality indicator model! We'll indicate some metrics that may make someone more likely to seek truth/spirituality. But are by no means a be all end all. Let's play along with your indicator here.. and say men more likely than women for truth/spirituality. That's basically the only metric you've given us here to gauge things on! Those damn women, so emotionally allergic to truth. If only they were born with cocks. But. We can add more indicators here.. Were you born in a stable, relatively free country? Stability more likely for spirituality/truth IF NOT born in a stable country, were you born in a stable family who sustained themselves financially? Family stability more likely for spirituality/truth Did your family members value spirituality/truth and pass these values down to you? Spirituality/truth valuing family more likely for spirituality What are your genetics/karma/whatever unique nature you've inherited? Some genetics more likely for spirituality/truth. What is your personality type? Some personality types more likely for spirituality/truth. Is spirituality/truth more valued in your culture/society or is it more repressed? More cultural values on spirituality/truth more likely for spirituality/truth. What is the GLOBAL level of consciousness and what scaffolded ideas are popular and widespread in global culture? More conscious = more likely for spirituality/truth. Do you have severe childhood trauma that will more easily keep you bogged in survival/dysfunction? Less trauma more likely for spirituality/truth. What was your education like? Did you get any? Was it fairly open ended or more like religious indoctrination? More open education more likely for spirituality/truth. How open to change are you? Do you often change or do you mostly stay the same or change less than others around you? More open to growth means more likely for spirituality/truth. Not that these are perfect indicators. Or even a great model. Or that many won't have exceptions! But it's better than just the little male/female indicator. You can say it's more than that, but y'all yap about it sooo much and hardly talk about the rest. Yet it's this constant harping on one small indicator. Not even close to the most important one! Most people aren't interested in this shit.. but still, it's. Blah blah women this women that. You see why it drives some of us crazy? Why not make an actually good model? Instead, you've just made the same lazy take that half the men here regurgitate on the regular. Beating the dead horse through to the afterlife. But sure! You can be proud that you've nailed your one little, tiny variable on the head. Ahhh yes. The history one isn't getting through to you. And yesss totally totally, the influential legacy left over from literal milenia before feminism is basically not impactful too? Brilliant.

Aha. You know what a stereotype is? It's a half baked caricature model of reality. You can make an earnest, nuanced model of reality. Not what you've done mate! Proud that you can claim your stereotypical take as it is. Keep talkin to GPT mate, not like there's I dunno.. any structural reason? Why most women wouldn't be able to be popular intellectual figures until the last 100-200 years? Hmm, nah men are just more spiritual. That's exactly what it is.

Raaah it's literally the SAME SHIT. Just on different threads, every. Single. DAY. Omg. The same 1-dimensional take. Noooooo women don't care about the truth, MEN MEN MEN. They're just meager fragile creatures who only care about survival, unlike MENNN. You lot stereotype women and then you stereotype yourself shouting with chest the same recycled take over and over. Why do you even care so much that this is such a talking point that needs to come up so much? And it's always presented so ferally. Some of yous should be out and getting some pussy until you don't care about this shit anymore. Then you can stop bitchin and moaning from your meditation cushion with your rod on. If you just want a wife go get a wife no one's making you do this! So tiring to witness day in and out. I'm sure it's even less fun to live in this so best of luck. Hope you can get unstuck someday, think I'll be sticking to reading the blog mate.

Mate you could literally do that in a year or two if you're living in a reasonably large city and not working crazy hours a week.

Actual threat to Merica' (sqwuak): Iran with nukes Iran bombing oil fields in retaliation to U.S. strikes, spiking global oil price, sending a teetering U.S. economy into a recession and further debt which grows more and more tenuous by the day. Further diminishing it's declining global power

Sounds like more gender games to me. Ohhhh women are so confusing, men are simple. Nooo it's the men that are confusing! It's a tired perspective game boss.