Yoremo

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Posts posted by Yoremo

  1. Posted

    @silene Ok, so I think I´ve gotten my problems down to two. 

    1: I don´t seem to get any results with any self-help. I do have motivation to do this, and I do this, but I just haven´t gotten much results. What I´ve realized so far is that I don´t have enough focus and patience to stick with one thing for long enough. But I haven´t solved any of those problems so advice would be really appreciated. Can I develop myself even though I don´t have a clear life purpose? I suppose that it´s harder but I have to be able to do it, I think I´m just doing it in a bad way.

    2: I don´t have meaning in my life. I feel that school is meaningless beyond measure (atleast what I´m doing right now) and I´m not really consistently excited for the future and what is coming. I can only seem to keep up this for a day or two. So really I don´t have a clear life purpose, and I don´t really know how I´m supposed to find it.

    Other than that I would deem my other problems as a result of these two.

  2. Posted

    19 minutes ago, silene said:

    Something doesn't add up to me. If you really have no motivation to pursue anything, then you wouldn't be bored with simply sitting in silence.  Perhaps the boredom itself is your motivation energy looking for expression, but you feed yourself with junk food like youtube videos instead of finding your own wholesome passion in life. That sounds pessimistic to me ;)  

    Yes, you´re right, I do have a lot of ambition and motivation to do stuff in my life (like everybody I guess). And yeah, I think I agree with you, I think the thing is that I can´t seem to find a way to channel my energy in an productive way into something I´m passionate about. But I don´t know if that´s pessimistic though, I think it´s just me not knowing how to find my "own wholesome passion". It´s like I can´t get that deep emotional connection to anything. But yeah, I´m trading a rich, passionate life for youtube videos but as I said I can´t get any traction with my ideas for passion.

     

    30 minutes ago, silene said:

    You have the feelings of wanting to do something, the energy is there, but also a thought that you don't have anything to do. 

    Is it the hopeless feeling (or belief) of non-change which is the obstacle? Why can't you do active creative things which express you, your passion, rather than passively watching other people express themselves? 

    My only real passion until this day has been playing football, but I can´t play or train or anything because I´ve been injured like 95 % of the time. So I´ve been doing self-help in the meantime of me healing my body (the injuries has been ongoing for like 3 years) but the things I have done in self help hasn´t done anything for me so that´s why I feel hopeless, because not only can I not play football and express myself, but I can´t even seem to get better mentally until I´m back. So it´s like either I´m "stuck" in this impossible passion of football and I need to change (but I do not want to) or I´ll have to kind of wait until my body is healed enough for me to pursue my passion again. 

    I´ve chosen the latter and I´ve been doing self development, but after 3 years of not really doing my passion I don´t feel so passionate anymore in day to day life because I feel that I´m not closing in on my goals in football (I have played during these 3 years and when I did I felt passionate but it´s been so rare that my day to day life has been really pale because it´s been separated from my passion and mostly spent on school and self development mentally which hasn´t worked)

    So youtube has become an escape to mental fog where I´m not conscious and I don´t need to face anything anymore. I don´t even enjoy what I´m watching and when I´m aware of what I´m watching I can see how stupid it is. And I do this because it feels just like a waiting game until I can play again, it doesn´t feel like I´m in a position to do anything.

    But even before my injuries I still didn´t have that real sense of passion of football, it felt like it was on the way but it wasn´t like I thought about football all day long or anything, and maybe it is I need to change passion, I don´t know if football is right or wrong, all I know is that I´ve never felt a strong feeling of passion- maybe that implies that football is not a good passion for me but I´ve not felt that for something else so maybe it´s just that I need to build it up.

  6. Posted

    19 minutes ago, flowboy said:

    And now we know why you have a YouTube habit!

    Same reason I did (do still sometimes): negative thought spirals are unpleasant.

    Is there a common theme in them?

    Sometimes I start watching because I don´t have anything to do, like I have to wait for something and then I just watch a short video. 

    I think that I can see the theme that when things are going wrong, or I´m feeling hopeless about my situation (and it feels like it won´t change). I am not very aware of my thoughts during these moments but the feelings are either because of the two above or because I feel lonely or sad about my life or anxious about some event that will happen in the future (like an "important" meeting). But usually because of the first two.

    I don´t know if that answered your question but what I wrote is what I´m aware of at the moment.

  7. Posted

    As I wrote I have problems with sticking to something, but I also do believe that I don´t have a good vision of my future because otherwise I believe that I should have more emotional leverage and more focus, would that be accurate or is it something else?, and if it´s accurate how do I go about starting to find my life purpose? /ignite my passion for soccer?

  9. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @Consilience I have a question, is that book a book more pointed towards enlightenment seeking people or not? And another question, I am a bit confused (I haven´t really studied enlightenment so I don´t really know what it i, not even conceptually), is self development and enlightenment separated completely or does it have some overlap? Because I just want to know that if some enlightenment stuff could be beneficial to my success in my life even though enlightenment is not something I´m pursuing now? (so that I don´t dismiss enlightenment stuff because I´m not into that now so that I´m also missing out on self development which is my focus)

  10. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Nahm said:

    @Yoremo

    Imo, there are no timeframes for any of the meditations as to when to switch, or which would be experienced as most beneficial, because every path is truly a one off, or, an individuation. 

    so should I just go on my feelings? Like if I´m feeling that I´m kind of stuck in one technique and I feel like I want to do another technique is that the time to switch? if you´re meaning that I should use my intuition like @Consiliencesaid it might be that I´m not very sure about what intuition is exactly.

  11. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    @gettoefl Can you elaborate on what you´re talking about? I think that I need more structure, atleast now, for me to be able to do meditation at all.

    @Consilience Okay, so I kind of flow in between meditation techniques that I feel for? There must be more benefits to sticking to one technique for a longer time sometimes, but maybe that happens naturally when I´m following my intuition? I haven´t looked in to meditation retreats much but would that be worth it even though I´m not into enlightenment (I´m mostly into self help right now because I need to fix my life)?

  12. Posted

    Okay, so I went through the list and I chose the awareness of thought. So I do that practice for a while, maybe a couple of weeks, and then go back to my initial practice of mindfulness meditation focusing on my breath. I´ll try it out, but what should I do then? should I continue doing cycles of different meditation techniques after that or should I focus on one later on? Maybe it doesn´t matter much what I chose?

  13. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    It´s the same for me. Although I can get them to buy more healthy foods but it´s not really worth trying to change what meals they cook. I think that you should try and do what you can (eat healthy when you have the choice to do so, buy healthy food if you can afford it and cook it if you have time) but other than that I think it´s more productive to focus on other things because I´ve tried to change my parents in a destructive way and it´s really not worth trying to change people that you can´t change, by that point it was just my outlet for frustration and I think that just messes you up even more than unhealthy eating will.

  14. Posted

    So I guess that all meditation techniques have more specific benefits, so how would you chose your technique? because there are so many of them, I´ve done mindfulness meditation just focusing on my breath for like 7-8 months consistently for about 45 minutes and I just don´t know if I should continue with that technique. I haven´t seen that much improvement but I wasn´t expecting too much in the beginning either. Like I don´t get what´s technique is suitable for what.

  17. Posted

    Okay, posting this publicly made me very aware of my situation. And I realized that I´ve just uncounsciously jumped from theory to theory in my past attempts on development. So my thought was that my outmost problem is that I need to embody everything that I learn and focus, really focus on one thing at a time to install great physical and mental habits and through that really learn. Is that a good idea?

    So would a process of that be like:

    1:st read/listen/watch, take notes and reflect on how I could use this in my daily life.

    2:nd install the corresponding habit and make it very small and manageable

    3:rd once the habit begins to feel engrained, amp up the intensity/volume depending on what it is

    4:th reevaluate if the habit seems valuable to me and adjusting wether I should stick with the habit or change it or let it go (after a couple of months of trying)

    5:th doing the same process for some other information I have in accordance to my goals. 

    Would this be a good strategy or would you change it in any way?

    And if I do this strategy there´s gonna be a lot of time spent on testing the habit out and in the beginning months now I´ll have a lot of spare time so what do you think would be a good spending of my time? should I search out more theory, take notes and kind of store them until the future? should I maybe meditate, visualize or what do you think? Because I also feel that my vision is kind of blurry too, I don´t feel so connected to it so maybe I should work on that or something?

    And I feel like dropping out of college is better than staying because right now I´m just staying because I´m afraid to leave that sense of security and to go out in the world, but I feel like quiting college is much better than staying there but I´m open to hear your opinion if you think you have a better idea:)

     

  18. Posted · Edited by Yoremo

    Hi everybody!

    I´m 17 years old and I´m currently going to college in Sweden in a very general course in the natural sciences. Since I´ve been like 12 I´ve always been wanting to become a soccer (football) player and I have trained very diligently during these years, and I don´t know if soccer is the "right" thing to go for but that is what has made me excited. But since I was like 14 I´ve been constantly injured and unable to train and play, coming to now when I´ve been almost been completely injured for 3 years. Right now I´m on the path of fixing this problem of injuries but as you could imagine I´m behind in my development compared to all the other guys. So during these 3 years I´ve been kind of doing things on and of to improve my mentality like visualization, affirmations and stuff like that, but nothing really stuck with me for the long run (altough right now I´ve been meditating atleast for 30 min a day for like 6 or so months). I think part of that has to do with my supercomfortable upbringing and the knowledge that I´m "safe". Because of that I´ve been escaping this reality to a lot of addictions, especially mindless youtube watching to wait until I can feel like I have control again (when I can play and improve). Because of this my self-esteem, confidence, happiness have gone down significantly and my anxiety and stress have gone up so much about me wasting my time at my college where I don´t like it at all and about me just coasting through life through the path of least resistance and least amount of conscious action. So I´ve been feeling really hopeless the last 1.5 years and completely out of control of my life. And I can feel pain in my body just walking and sitting, even though as I said I´ve found my problem with injuries. 

    So now I really want to drop out of college, because I feel like doing something that doesn´t resonate with you at all and you don´t see any future or purpose in isn´t worth "sacrificing" for and spending a lot of time on. And I´ve been studying Leo´s videos aswell as listening to podcasts of different people and this has made me more courageous and openminded and I´m willing to drop out of college and all of that. But I also don´t want to do it stupidly and not have a plan and just sit around and do nothing. But I do want to live meaningfully which is why I want to drop out of school. And my mentality is just a mess right now I feel, and I feel so confused and I feel like I have no direction of action. Like I´m taking notes and all of this on videos of Leo aswell as on books and other stuff but I just don´t really know what to do, it feels like I can´t do anything to better my situation because even though I have access to so much wisdom I don´t do anything, I´m very intrigued by the idea to master soccer (because I had a taste of that before I could hardly move), but I have so dominantly negative feelings and a sense of hopelessness and lack of clarity.

    Sorry I couldn´t make it shorter but I´m so fucking lost. It feels like I´m just spinning my wheels with my gas fully on. I don´t even really know what my question is because I have so many of them but any advice about what I can get started with or whatever, or any thoughts on anything and I´d truly be grateful, because the sheer amount of areas to improve and self-help advice and advice in general is making me so unfocused on everything and I´m probably also looking in the wrong places.