Applegarden8

I can resonate. I had this woman I was seeing trying to teach her how to sing. She had and still has a very beautiful voice. It was very nice seeing her, but I was too clingy and slow if I wanted to aim for what I think she wanted. But now I have to forget her. Hard to do, but I am making good progress I think and there really are a lot of fish in the sea.

Can I expect that I will live tomorrow? Or go to sleep today? How do you think?

My hobbies are exploring the various possibilities how to cope with toxic neighbours, and I also do music and try to work on my health.

Yes, I am really stupid, confirmed.

Constantly remind him that he is hurtful, like every time, if he/she is not a threat or does not have full custody over you. If you are providing to the household then that's what I would do to make such a dissonance and inertia that this person is forced to think and reflect every time this shit comes out of their mouth. If you can't do that, leave ASAP, you have a constitutional freedom to have your ideas about life.

Ah yes, the Guru question. It can potentially make you experience things you never imagined and lead you to happiness or can totally mislead or corrupt for decades. You can also mistake true for false and false for true. But good luck. If you do some sadhana and generate some bliss or have sat trough at least one night of Mahashivrathri or things like that, you will probably find such quality people in your life (i mean the real ones, but you will anyway don't do what they say, because they would like you to become mystic and drop your life).

That is fair assumption, yes, I have a western capitalistic type of mindset to some extent. Because you wanted to, I assume.

Thanks for being a good sport at least there is something you want to talk about, and that is drama. I can also play this game: I am not an American, why did you assume that? A simple profile check would confirm that. For the same reason you made this thread. No, I can't motivate you to solve it because you refuse to be helped, I think that and I will say that, because you are not literally being bombed (from your relpy) and I don't know what the issue is, so until then I am going to assume it is something you can solve. Just because there are some people that can't be helped, doesn't mean you shouldn't attempt to help as it is also a skill you can learn. Even the people being bombed can be helped to relocate, get financial aid because you KNOW what their issue is.

Sorry, but that is simply not correct. I made an attempt 1) to contact you and 2) ask you about the issue to motivate you to solve it, please don't diminish my efforts as I see nobody else has replied, thanks. If you provided feedback, I would have continued to help you.

Well, I tried to address the issue directly, sorry to bring it up. See you around.

From your description it is hard to estimate what is the problem, therefore it's not clear in what specific topics you would need advice or different perspective from somebody to take necessary actions.

If you have not tried, maybe it's a good thing to distill a good logical arguments for convincing this person and trying to get helped and also be receptive to being helped?

Well, have you talked about this problem with someone in detail about this topic? Have you tried convincing someone to help you get away from these people?

Not everyone maybe, but some people will engage in this topic in more depth privately. This will grab more eyeballs, yeah. I don't know your issue too much, I know that you are suicidal because somebody you live with does harm to you, if i am correct.

Hey man, what is your issue? If you want to engage with people, write them. Even with suicide prevention hotline, go and argue with them.

Does it have to be anything? Does it have to have meaning? Can it be it's own thing without meaning?

Are you referring missing out related to a section in your life (some duration of this birth) or all lifetimes encompassing entire reality?

Don't take my example, but I kinda gave up on it, but I have my reasons. I just can't see what relationship will fullfill in my life, despite wanting it. Especially on a good day, it's totally not necessary for me. I can be happy on my own and when I am miserable I got myself to work with it and sit trough it. When you are afraid of something, you can't tell anybody else about it, you have to face the feeling constantly, and then you reflect and gain insight about you. There is some attraction, but remembering the suffering in life and what causes it is stronger, so I want to deal with that. "Ohh, but what if you get lonely, old or nobody will take care of you" let it be, I will prepare mentally for it now, than wait for the perfect one at 50, now that is delusional. Only thing what will happen in your area will be that people will bully you that you are not in a relationship, but their life kinda sucks anyway and they don't want to improve it and just talk shit about somebody or just a nowhere nobody like me. Your only problem in this scenario is getting roof over your head and watching your health like a hawk. Then you should be fine by yourself. But that is not what I am suggesting, if you have urges and want to live them, go. Also she will find a guy who will do all that with her in her area without me and you also. But almost nobody will write to me and you and will really not be genuinely interested in you is my experience and it's OK. I accept that. I just don't give a shit anymore.

Try to say it in less words.

There was one woman that I really enjoyed her company. I could imagine living with her, even though she was little bit too chaotic for me. But usually women trigger nothing but sexual desire which is kinda empty for me. I like somebody who can be artistic, spontaneous also quietness is good sign when you can sit with yourselves and accept each other as you are and you don't need to brag about anything or explain anything, guilt or shame each other constantly. For me it's all or nothing. I either want a quality person or an artist, because she has the quirks, jokes, appreciation and subtle-ness about life and she can be very expressive even in her daily life. But either that or nothing, because compromising just for somebody to be there will make you make maximum decisions you don't want to make.

I guess I was right after all!

looks like you will find out, I but wish you are lucky enough that you have nothing to report. I was not just talking about synthesis protocol, but actually somebody's report which are generally longer than protocols which is included in that file. I am happy for you that you can conclude that, but when I saw it that's the first thing i noticed! It is very tempting to keep endlessly arguing about nothing, but as they say, somebody will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience. I feel the burn, i guess. Generally speaking, yes, I admit I do not know a lot about many details of the topics, but I cannot say that I do not know what I am talking about. I don't think you will admit that as well and just assume that you are correct about everything you said. But you do you. So, keep swimming and enjoy your totally safe and simple endevour.

The thousand page document I am referring to is drug master file. Yeah, patent without any quality assurance or predictable effect. Let's agree to disagree. It will be a problem if it will happen. I see your mindsets are different, and there is no point in interacting. And I personally don't agree with it because innovations in food industry for example exploit human health and only after some study shows over a period of time that some synthetic food additive is bad for example. Same goes for research drugs. My concern is that somebody takes it and fucks it up on behalf of freedom. But it's not that simple and I don't disagree completely. Health-related risks, first of all. I don't need to disclose to anybody what I am suffering from, that is my business, otherwise I would post a thread. But I would say, if you are one man household, you getting fucked from a irresponsible drug use for the rest of your life means you can't do what you want to do, so health is important for me in that sense. Does that sound like a paranoia to you? Then I technically congratulate you and remind you that you shouldn't if it's illegal in your area. I disagree, it is still relatively unknown compared to a generic or a widely used psychotropic or any drug that had practical clinical studies performed. My point was that you can't know, I was just emphasizing it cause you are wistleblowing that they are not dangerous at all. But why are you projecting now? My approach of explaining the negatives won't help you overthink, so I failed. I wasted like an hour and a half of my life, my bad. My original point is only this, and not to you, but to the chemists out there. If you are in a career in a chemistry, analytics, food industry and synthesis fields etc. and are employed in a company, know when you are sharing details on these subjects in such gray areas even on the net, know that you maybe already in a watch list in your country for drugs and explosives, even if you just have chemistry based degree, better not to, because one thing leads to another and there can be problems with association with those people and evidence that you have been giving specific advice to these people. Why to have such problems if you are trying to build your life. But you have a different life experience that will guide you I guess. I wasted my hour and a half, I am off to do some yoga and do what I acctually care about, my bad again, sorry. Should not have engaged in this absolutely pointless and untenable discussion.

Well, go and listen to who says what you want to hear, i don't know what to tell you. I have seen something in this field like getting some people arrested, they also started "experimenting" and falsely accused me of manufacturing some drug just to get more time to hide the evidence for those who actually did it, yes, this actually happened. You can't prove there is no danger, you simply can't. Maybe nothing will happen, maybe not and actually you have no clue what you are risking. Your arrogance is what i expected, then maybe you need to go trough this and feel invincible and then... Just advising to think about it if you really need this shit. By the way with the thousands of pages I was referring to organic synthesis not refinement of something that exists in nature already. By the way if it's so "safe" why sourcing (even for legal research chemicals) is not allowed in this forum? And how can a research chemical be safe? It just makes me turn off my brain. If there were no clinical trials happening on animals or humans for this drug to research its effects then maybe only what is done is some pharmakinetic based estimations of what the drug can do, then how the hell can somebody conclude it is safe or predictible blows my mind. It has not even yet become illegal it is so new hahahaha (in case it is psychotropic).

And this "chemist" can tell you just about anything and be as junkyard fellow as possible (in here, especially) and the worst part is that you will actually do what he says. To get a quote? I wish you had an idea about how much is written down to the finest details and control parameters to synthesize something and prove its content, thousands of pages literally. If somebody tell you something verbally, you understand how ridiculous it is "oh, i will just implement and reproduce this" not to even exclude your error of you knowing something and adding something somewhere where you shouldn't or forgetting to do something, then you get something different, in a unsanitary place with questionable equipment. Haha, and they will send it to police/taken down by customs or other organization and do an express test and it may show positive (because it has some functional groups as some illegal drugs and is not very selective), then you will be for an amazing journey (i am being sarcastic, even if it's not an illegal product) of interrogations and questions and I am assuming if you want to synthesize you are keeping and buying them, and that will be caught or they will test you and it will show that you indeed have been using recently, and now you are up for some charges. Then they will check where you exist on the net and find you here and well, check what you are writing here maybe and it will help their investigation. Following scenarios to this: 1. Not legislated yet, still you might get in legal trouble and going trough investigation and interrogation, months to stay 'clear" while you are on a more intense watch-list since you will keep doing it; 2. You gave it to somebody and somebody got sick, mentally ill or died and it can be proven that it was from your experimental drug; 3. You terribly fuck up your health with a help of your "chemist" friend; 4. Your "chemist" friend is found guilty for manufacturing, storing (something illegal by chance), and now you are part of his ring because he gave it to you and you gave it to somebody else, if you didn't even sell it; 5. Extra point for criminal history or future and how that can fuck up your life and snowball from experiment to a drug dealing and prison, addiction and so on. 6. "Chemist" friend can force/negotiate you to make something together, maybe make something illegal together, force you to make more at the cost of him not telling anybody or him not doing something to you or your loved ones. Or just placing something on your bag pocket, apartment and calling the cops. Or pay money to me or we will do something to you because you synthesize now. I HOPE THIS HELPS TO CONVINCE YOU THAT THIS IS JUST NOT WORTH IT. I would advise to stay sober for life. You don't need these problems. No more, I am out. You haven't even thought out about the consequences. Problem is simple, you have a sleeping problem, focus on solving that with a professional and lifestyle solutions.