Vzdoh

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Posts posted by Vzdoh

  1. Posted

    2 hours ago, Nahm said:

    @Vzdoh

    I didn’t say anything about getting rich. What part seems riddlerish?

    The entire thing. Actually most of your responses are very hard to understand. Not sure if it's because I  not a native speaker or its your way of expressing yourself in such a way that either you want to sound misterious or you yourself do not quite understand what you are trying to express 

  2. Posted

    1 hour ago, Leo Gura said:

    If the girl is invested in me and it's a gf situation, I don't mind spending some money. It's less a function of buying her things and just more a function of sharing my abundant lifestyle with her. I don't buy her stuff directly, it's more about sharing with her the opportunities and adventures that my lifestyle affords.

    So she will feel well-treated. For example, when I cook her food, I buy high quality food, not cheap junk. When she sleeps over at my house, it's a nice house that lots of money and effort went into building. Etc.

    Building an awesome lifestyle is an important part of game. Then you just share that lifestyle with girls are invested in you.

    But I am not going to be directly paying your bills.

    That’s a good start. But treating your GF is important to feel up her love tank for you. My problem with that guy was I felt he felt resentment towards spending money on me. And that turned me off him completely. 

    I didn't expect him to pay my bills actually. Never even had it in my head. 

    But being generous overall communicates to a woman you will be there for her in case she is indeed in trouble. 

    What would you do if your GF loses her job and does not have like savings and need your help? 

  3. Posted

    On 10/11/2021 at 6:30 AM, Leo Gura said:

    You don't need to spend money on girls to get them crazy in love with you. Just up your game. And up your sex. Amazing sex will have her paying for you, Lol.

    The reason guys feel the need to pay is because they offer little else.

    Of course the girl would love it if you paid, but she will settle for just the amazing intimacy and sex you give her. That is worth 100x more to her than money.

    When your game gets good girls will start offering to pay for you just to be near you.

    I would challenge this belief. The guy I dropped for Cheapness, was best sex of my life. 12 orgasms in one go. Never happened to me before. I still let him go. Because I am to live with a person and being able to give in a relationship is important for relationship to survive. Sex only won't save it or make it last. Do examine your beliefs about this. I think you have a blind spot. 

    Understand that giving = generosity = support = care = containment for a woman. 

    We love sex, but containment for us is a more primary need. A girl that just goes for great sex and tells you she does not need containment is most likely traumatised and doesn't know how to be in a relationship. 

  4. Posted

    On 09/11/2021 at 9:50 PM, Leo Gura said:

    @Vzdoh Keep in mind, some people are just cheap. It's not necessarily about you as the girl.

    I used to be extremely cheap. Still sorta am. Simply because I had to learn to be cheap in order to start my business and survive.

    I used to not even pay for a girl's coffee. I'm less cheap now, but still I won't just throw money away on a girl.

    Oh! I didn't take it personally at all. I saw it was his issue. He is quite rich actually. So he can afford to splurge and buy me dinner or a bag if I was into bags. The problem for women when we see the guy is being cheap is we imagine our lives with him and we can't trust him to take care of us or potential children. There is no security, there is no feelings of containment that Teal Swan is talking about, we don't feel we can rely on the guy. Cheapness in my mind and on a feelings level implies to me that in this relationship I will be on my own. If shit happens to me financially or whatever, he is not going to help. And who wants a partner like this? 

    So for guys who want a serious committed relationship, being cheap is a predicament to solve. No self reapecting woman who is feminine and not in her masculine with you, would want a cheap guy. 

    Cheap guys best luck is to attract a woman who is super independent, thinks men and women are equal, won't let you be a man in a relationship, won't let u to take care of her. And probably has a lot of unresolved trauma about being able to rely on another person in a relationship and ask for help. 

    I didn't tell all of that to that guy as he was not ready to hear that. He still thinks he is a catch. But in fact he is handicapped and at 40 years old is still single. 

  5. Posted

    9 hours ago, Nahm said:

    I hold seven financial licenses. What you want is called residual income. Why you want it is for the ideal balance of time & money. Why you miss it is an unwillingness to notice conflicting views, even when someone points this out for you. You say you already know what people will say, and tell others not to assume, as one example. Everything you’re talking about on this thread is to uphold self image, it’s not what you really want. If you make a dreamboard you will discover and have, everything you really actually want. That is already the case, but remains unseen. Dreamboard makes it effortless, and very easy to see. Folks keep telling you it’s all related because it’s all related. Understanding the emotions you’re experiencing, specifically jealousy, you’d have swiftly moved from helping rich people get richer, to being rich. 

    You talk in riddles.. Can u speak/express yourself clearer? 

    My objective is not to get rich. I am already quite well off. 

    The rest I really didn't understand 

  6. Posted

    2 hours ago, Spiral said:

    My resistance to committed relationships has nothing to do with girls I’ve dated or that want to have a lot of girls sexually. If I have my needs meet I’m happy. 
     

    My issue comes from what I see in my family, friends and colleagues relationships. Their relationship to me seem terrible and toxic. With the expectation of my grandparents I don’t know anyone who’s relationship I’d describe as even decent.

     

    Now don’t get me wrong I don’t mean it’s the girl/wife that’s terrible. Some times it is, sometimes it’s the guy in the relationship. Sometimes there both great but just not a good match. Yet they all stay together anyway. With kids, marriage, a shared economy and the laziness that come from having a partner I get it. I don’t want that to be me. That is what I fear and associate with commitment, because it means that I’m serious. 
     

    In addition I don’t care for commitment, I’m not the jealous type so I don’t feel like it has intrinsic value.

    So u r afraid of negatives before they happened to you and you don't even try to make it work? 

    Great approach ???

  8. Posted

    15 hours ago, zazen said:

    '' You make your first commitments, and happily give up a little bit of freedom in exchange for a little bit of stability. You create comfort through devices—habit, ritual, pet names—that bring reassurance. But the excitement was bound to a certain measure of insecurity. You gained excitement from the uncertainty, and now, by seeking to harness it, you wind up draining the vitality out of the relationship. You enjoy the comfort, but complain that you feel constrained. You miss the spontaneity. In your attempt to control the risks of passion, you have tamed it out of existence. Marital boredom is born. While love promises us relief from aloneness, it also heightens our dependence on one person. It is inherently vulnerable.

     

    The tension between security and adventure is a paradox to manage, not a problem to solve. It is a puzzle. “Can you hold the awareness of each polarity? You need each at different times, but you can’t have both at the same time. Can you accept that? It’s not an either-or situation, but one where you get the benefits of each and also recognize the limits of each. It’s an ebb and flow.” Love and desire are two rhythmic yet clashing forces that are always in a state of flux and always looking for the balance point. ''

     

    - Esther Perel 

    22 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    God's Love heals everything.

    Love Esther Parel. Trying to accept the paradox and make it work for me. 

  9. Posted

    10 hours ago, Yarco said:

    Pretty much anything finance-related is devilry, low-consciousness, and a net-negative to the world if it's just siphoning off money without producing any real goods or services.

    What about leaving the entire paradigm of hedge funds and banks behind for something radically different?

    Could you start some sort of investment firm / charity hybrid? Where you take a nice salary for yourself, like $200k or something, and the rest of the gains each year go toward charitable causes?

    Is there some way that you can earn money for yourself or clients, but then get tax advantages of charitable causes, all while helping the world and making it a better place? Could you invest in sustainable companies that help the world and still make a profit?

    It's a good idea actually. I thematic portfolio option for contribution to the world investing in companies that main goal is to improve the world around us. ESG is popular right now but most ESG funds are not original. Same old tesla, google, FB etc

    I will think about it. 

    I don't want to leave finace and markets as its my passion. I love trading and following the markets. 

    I just want to also combine it with something meaningful and something where I can contribute. No tax in Singapore so no way to get tax rebates. 

     

  10. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    God's Love heals everything.

    Agree. Source love is the answer. But to connect to it, one need to be brave to face the fears and work with them. The more fears you face and process, the easier it becomes to connect to the source love. 

    I had an experience where I felt connected to source love it was one of the most amazing feelings and experiences I ever had. Better than any tantric sex or anything. U r just full of love for yourself and others and you see suffering around you and your heart is filled with compassion. 

    Literally nothing beats this! 

  11. Posted

    2 hours ago, Raze said:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zfZc7t9-LtU

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XbCHnbDRnkQ

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=40iyQpOl-e0

    12 hours ago, Thunder Kiss said:

     

    @Superfluo @Leo Gura not my case. I am not in a limbo. And these videos assume a relatively healthy and mature individual. If you have trauma and avoidant personality disorder it's a totally different ball game. 

  12. Posted

    43 minutes ago, Loba said:

    Hello, I am a woman but I have commitment anxiety, and a fearful-ambivalent personality/bonding type.
    It isn't easy getting someone commitment phobic to get into a relationship.
    Therapy can help with it, I've been thinking of trying it for my phobias, but I can't afford a good therapist right now.

    I don't know how you would broach that topic, though. 

    Do you think it is just that he is this way with everyone or just doesn't want to commit to you?

    Nothing to do with me. He is like this his entire life. I think he is FA - fearful avoidant. I told him that he is scared of commitment. We broke up. But he was super into me and still is i think. But fear is bigger than feelings,because that fear is about getting him safe when love is associated with pain and unsafety. 

    That's what u do, u run. 

    If u want to work on your attachment trauma, check out Teal Swan completion process. Worked wonders for me. 

    11 hours ago, Thunder Kiss said:

    At it’s core it’s a fear of being really seen.  That’s actually terrifying.  You can’t make someone want to be seen.  
    Best you can do is be there for them to open up when they are ready, and that might mean ending the relationship if you don’t want to wait for someone. 

    @Superfluo @Leo Gura 

  13. Posted

    29 minutes ago, Thunder Kiss said:

    At it’s core it’s a fear of being really seen.  That’s actually terrifying.  You can’t make someone want to be seen.  
    Best you can do is be there for them to open up when they are ready, and that might mean ending the relationship if you don’t want to wait for someone. 

    @Superfluo @Leo Gura 

    Yeah! It is terrifying! Especially if he does not want to see himself too and running from himself. 

    I do have a saviour complex of sorts. And too much empathy i guess - feeling what the other person is feeling. It's indeed terrifying. 

  14. Posted

    1 minute ago, mandyjw said:

    Manipulation would be pretending that you're happy in order to make him feel less pressured, in order to give him the space to commit. It's a means to an end. Actual change would be actually being happy. Happiness itself. I mean, if you're happy anyway, who actually gives a crap if you get what you want? Sure, it would be nice, but you're happy anyway. Coincidently happiness is just there after letting go of the assumedly needed outcome. 

    @Superfluo @Leo Gura 

    Who said that I am unhappy on my own? 

    He is a great human being with an amazing heart and I want him in my life. 

    It doesn't mean though that I see him as a means to an end or a source of my happiness. Its actually a reverse, I want to bring joy into his life cause he lacks it and deserves to be happy. 

    I am not talking about commitment as getting married and having kids. 

    I am talking more of commitment phobia as inability to experience real connection and intimacy with someone because he feels frightened he will lose his freedom and himself. 

    That's not the same thing. 

  15. Posted

    27 minutes ago, tsuki said:

    That is very true. It seems to me that you feel lonely.  I wonder how that feeling ties with your other thread in the dating section?

    Given your skills, maybe you could start a school for investing, where you could meet people? Or maybe start an organization that could bring the abstract prices down to earth, so that people could understand them by heart? Like, having a blog that explains why certain companies are more valuable than others? You could meet some people this way.

    Heh? How did you arrive at me feeling lonely? And how is this related to my other post? 

    I am asking for specific career related issue here and for a specific relationship issue on the other thread. Asking people for their thoughts does not mean being lonely ????

    I have friends who I can talk to about my relationship issues but they are not at the same awareness level as me, so it's gonna be pointless cause I already know what they will say. 

    And career wise, I can't share my plans with people I know in the industry as they are my competitors. 

    Don't make assumptions please. 

  16. Posted

    2 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    If you got a solid method for flipping guys from fear of intimacy, you can become a millionaire selling that method to every woman on the planet ;)

    Girl's version of How To Get Laid:

    How To Get Your Man To Commit To You ;)

    @Superfluo @Leo Gura 

    Plenty of these methods online but they don't work cause they use manipulation and not a change of a fundamental belief at its core. 

  18. Posted

    3 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    Yes! But can you cause him to flip that around? Good luck.

    If I sat the dude down and had a 2 hour conversation with him about how dumb he's being, then maybe that would get through to him. But when you ladies shower him with more intimacy, that might just cause him to run away.

    @Leo Gura @Leo Gura i am quite logical and can try with probing questions gently so that he asks himself these questions or at least questions his beliefs. 

    Intimate sex won't work. Trauma there. I will have to figure out a way physically but not touching his trauma. 

  19. Posted

    @Leo Gura yeah, he was in an abusive relationship for quite awhile and I guess his childhood was not rosy either if he attracted and stayed for so long with someone that abusive. I would be scared too. 

    Good point on showing that intimacy and communion can be a beautiful experience. 

    I don't see an issue on leading him to see and experience more intimacy if I am the one who had more experience with it and know how beautiful it can be ??

  22. Posted

    @Nahm so if I understand correctly, 

    Both people in a relationship represent source love and they don't need or depend on one another to be directly related/connected to source love. In other words, both people are at all times independent and choose to be together to help each other to get more connected to source love energy. Then commitment is not even an issue because there is nothing to commit to? 

    Am I following? 

  24. Posted

    @Leo Gura hey Leo, in my case the guy is actually not trying to maximise sexual value as he has some trauma related to sex and doesn't sleep around at all. Sex is not that important to him. I know probably hard to believe, but that's true. 

    I think he is avoidant type of personality with extreme independence and fear of true intimacy. 

    Very protective of his personal space too. 

    I am just fishing for ideas about how to ask him right questions to challenge his belief. 

    It feels like he is scared of commitment because he is afraid to lose himself, his freedom and be enmeshed in a relationship that is too close. 

    But in general I agree with you for most of the guys it's true - maximizing sexual value. 

    I think I am exceptional though. From who I am to what I have done in life, to money I earned to how I look to how I commit to self awareness and spiritual growth. No lack of men arround me. 

    So don't think its related to me at all. 

    Some internal issue for him.