Windappreciator

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Posts posted by Windappreciator


  1. you guys, what is there even to do on christmas anymore.

    family is boring,

    friends are boring being the same that they always are,

    shops are closed so i can't even get my oatbars,

    binged watched movies the last couple weekends,

    normally i'd just play dota but valve ruined the community with their hyper toxic stage orange marketing, now it's full of egomaniacs.

    i don't even know you guys..


  2.  

    15 minutes ago, Nadosa said:

    What makes me often weirdly question everything is based upon the belief I am SOMEONE who is CRAZY because I KNOW i can be unconditionally happy. Thoughts come saying: THATS NOT POSSIBLE. YOURE ILL, YOURE SICK. 

    That's a huge factor of not being able to let go fully...

    find the belief that is giving you this judgment and look at it as clearly as possible


  3. 23 minutes ago, Nadosa said:

    That what I know now saves my sanity and life. It's basically a moment to moment thing. I know via self observation that no fear can ever touch me so bad that I cannot rise beyond it anymore. My psychological resilience is out of this world. Im questioning day by day how the hell I manage to even keep my Hobbies, job, Friends in tune with the daily adventure. I am. I know 4 years ago something happened. The fear of death just overwhelmed me to a point where I thought that I go insane. I kept going. There was something. A Truth. Something beyond everything that kept me going. Even though this fear or this death kept me under steady stress. Unconsciously dedicating my way of life. Basically I was very ignorant 4 years ago, what would have been different...i dont know. I still am ignorant because I rather choose suffering and rumination over just the one obvious thing: living the life I want. 

     

    I can imagine. What was your initiation into?