You mean whose frameworks and guidance did he use? Not only Daniel Ingram. I followed him just enough to know.
He used Kenneth Folk, Michael Taft, Rob Burbea, Bentinho Massaro, Rupert Spira, Jim Newman, probably Leo somewhat actually, and probably many others.

As a boxer, I'd encourage you to pick it up; in the very least as a cardiovascular workout. Nothing wrong with getting the shits out on the bag. Plus, it makes for a sexy body (if you keep at it). 
One more bonus: if anyone ever wants to pick a fight with you, boxing will give you the confidence to whoop his ass (unless, of course, he does mma).

Sure, I have been practicing this for years and it has just starting to become normal. Firstly started with spiritual practices like daily mediations and going to retreats. The retreats helped massively. For the past year in covid i thought it was a really good time to become comfortable with loneliness. Move moved city away from everyone I knew. For the past year I have been in isolation, I told my family what I was doing and don't expect much contact for the year. It was really painfull, I experienced a lot of axiety and mental craziness, I felt like the urge to call parents everyday (my inner child was screaming for comfort), to seek connection with others, I just resisted that urge. It was interesting,  I saw it as an addiction, I was addicted to seeking connection and validation from other people. You just sit through the urges, if they get bad go for a walk, over time you work through them. The feelings arise less often, and eventually die down. Sometimes they do come but less often and less intense.
They important thing I found is to NOT run away from the feelings. Experience them fully. I felt when I was experiencing loneliness my other addictions arose to cover up those feelings. Like the urge to eat crap, to masterbate etc try not to give in to those feelings as well. And if you do dont beat urself up, ask urself why you need to do eat this, did it really solve the issue?

484.  Summary: The Root Solution To People Pleasing & Loneliness
 
           -This episode is about giving you a root solution to the problem of people pleasing, and loneliness.  It’s an advanced solution, but simple enough to implement.  This will not be ordinary, shallow self-help advice.
           -Leo’s struggled with people pleasing and coming up with solutions to that problem for decades.  When he moved to America he had difficulty acclimating, which led to a people pleasing strategy that started in childhood.  He’s also had epiphanies about loneliness because of his recent advancements in consciousness.
 
People Pleasing is a Survival Strategy
           -For the first 20 years of life we start off with the cognitive development of little animals who have to adapt and fit into society.  Society is a collective game and you learn to play by the collective rules or else you’ll run into problems.  As a child you were acculturated, domesticated.  This isn’t bad; it’s necessary.  Society can't have children biting and yelling at each other like zoo animals.
            To live in a healthy society we need to civilize ourselves, but there are certain costs that come with that.  One of the costs is you start to develop extrinsic reward mechanisms in order to satisfy yourself, rather than just making yourself happy.  Basically, you learn to behave in ways that get approval, love and satisfaction from others.
            When your reward mechanism is extrinsic instead of intrinsic, your sense of happiness gets handed over to others.  They dole out little bits of happiness when you please them, turning you into a Pavlovian dog.  So, you jump through hoops to get the love, satisfaction and approval you desperately want.
 
           -One bad habit Leo developed that took a long time for him to unwire is getting approval through good grades.  At school Leo was very into academics and developed a reward mechanism where he needed to get As to feel good.  It was a way to get praise from the authority figures in his life (I didn't know Leo’s parents were Asian, East Indian & Jewish ).  Good marks became an ego thing and a big driver in his life.
            Sure, there were good side effects, like discipline and getting educated, but he was basically performing academic tricks for people.  Once he left school, it became difficult for him to find his sense of satisfaction in life, because there were no more teachers or universities giving him grades or rewards.  He felt empty.
            If he’d been less self aware he could’ve substituted teachers and grades for a girlfriend and money.  Then he would’ve been expecting rewards, praise and As from his girlfriend or bosses.  Luckily that didn’t happen to Leo, but that’s what happens to most people on the treadmill of approval
(Aaron Abke has a great video on why achievement and approval cannot equal love.)  
-You have to be very careful about what extrinsic reward mechanisms your ego-mind develops. If other people hold the goodies that dictate your behavior, then you constantly have to do stuff for them to get your reward.  This will never lead to a satisfying life.
clip: Your Mind Distorts Reality to Survive [8 mins].  clip: Transcend Your Script [6 mins].  clip: What Shapes You Most [5 mins].  
-If you're a people pleaser, you’ve adopted the habit of getting your happiness extrinsically from others. It’s a problem for everyone, but even more so for women.  Generally, women derive more of their satisfaction from building social bonds and networks than men.   Women tend to be helpers and caretakers, especially the more feminine they are.
            So it becomes this giant social game where you only feel good when you please others (clients, co-workers, bosses, children, your partner, likes on Tweetbookagram, etc.)  Also, with people pleasing, it’s easy to fool yourself into thinking you’re being selfless and spiritual by “serving others,” when you’re really just seeking approval.
-The problem is it never lasts, no matter how much approval you get or people you please.  It just becomes another material pursuit, in the same way that men chase money or sex.  It's never going to deeply satisfy you, so you just keep chasing for more.
 
-The solution is to take back control and sovereignty over your own reward mechanism.  To make it completely intrinsic, so that the satisfaction, love and praise you want you give to yourself.  You need to rewire your mind.  (10:13)
-Your mind might be objecting and resisting this because you've built this extrinsic circuit, which means that stuff has to happen in the outer world for you to feel good.  “I have to see ______ happen and it has to match my personal standards.  I can only allow myself to be happy if…”
            These extrinsic reward cycles happen no matter what you're pursuing (business success, sexual conquests, the valuation of the stock of your company, pleasing your husband, getting your children into Harvard, etc).  It's all the same thing, structurally speaking.
            The solution is to short-circuit all that and go directly to giving yourself the happiness and love you want.  That’s how you really apply spirituality to get a deep sense of satisfaction.
-It’s a very counterintuitive solution.  (A counter-intuitive solution is when the most effective path ends up being the opposite of what you’d naively expect.)  Obvious routes can be foolish and shortsighted.  The wisdom of crowds doesn’t work if the crowd is full of fools.
 
Make Your Own Doggy Treats
“But Leo, sure I can bullshit myself into feeling happy and giving myself rewards, but it's not the same as getting an actual, external, objective reward.  It’s new age, self-help, positive thinking bullshit.  It's not the real kind of happiness that depends on external conditions being met, like X amount of dollars in my bank account, or helping people in the real world, or having sex…” -It almost feels like you're cheating when you do this and in a sense you are.  These are the cheat codes to life.
-Most people grow up in a survival situation where they had to please others, like their family, teachers, classmates, authority figures, adults at church and so forth.  So the idea that you can just give yourself happiness and approval directly without any middlemen seems crazy.  It feels like you’re not working hard enough to get your doggy treats.
 
-Consider that there's actually something very deep that you're fundamentally missing here.  You’re giving away your sovereignty to others by letting them define what is true and what’s not. You’ve looked up to authority figures to validate reality for you, instead of going inside and sovereignly telling yourself what’s true.  (ep: How Authority Works)
           Well, the same thing happens with satisfaction, happiness and love.  You've given away your authority and now you can’t feel satisfied because you're looking for other people to satisfy you.
 
-You’ve turned this into an aspect of your ego.  Your ego has a self-image of being good, or selfless, or hard-working or generous.  In order to live up to that image, you have to constantly work and work and bend over backwards to feel good enough.  You might even feel guilty for allowing yourself to feel loved for no reason at all.  You’ve invented standards and conditions for what you think you must do to "deserve love.”
 
-No matter how many nice things you do for your clients, your husband or children, you're never going to be deeply satisfied by that. You're caught in this trap of constant struggle to get that drug of approval, of gratitude, of praise, of satisfaction from others.
            Maybe you have an expectation that you can only feel love when somebody thanks you or tells you you’re a good person. Now that you've set this standard for yourself, you’re a slave.  You’ll be bending backwards for others until they thank you or tell you you’re a good person.
            If they don't give you what you think you deserve, you’ll get bitter because you've been denied the reward.  You're like a dog who jumped through a hoop, but the master didn't see it and didn't give you a treat, and now you're upset at the master.
 
-It’s the same with career success.  A lot of people are scared of being satisfied with their career.  They think being happy will stop them from working hard, from growing their company to $20 million, or $50 million, and that they can’t be satisfied if their company's only worth $20 million….the problem is once your company does reach $50 million, you still won’t be satisfied.  You’ll want $100 million and then a billion and where does it end?  It doesn’t, that's the problem.
 
-This is not a very intelligent situation that you've placed yourself in.  Wouldn’t it be much nicer to take back your sovereignty and control?  Take back full responsibility for the reward mechanisms that make you feel happy and satisfied with yourself.  To stop letting other people from having control over that.  To be your own master.  To make your own doggy treats.
 
Happiness: Dual versus Non-Dual Approaches
-The dual approach says there's a self and others, and you become happy by doing things for others.  This makes the other responsible for your happiness.  The other could be a family member, a lover, an animal, an institution you work for, etc.
-The non-dual approach says what if you integrated all others into yourself?  That’s what you're doing when you practice non-duality.  You realize everything is One, that there are no boundaries between self and other.  Non-duality lets you realize if you and others are one, why don’t you just give yourself the doggy treats?  At first this feels fake or like cheating, but recognize that this is a more advanced way of living life.  It's even more difficult to take responsibility for making yourself feel happy.  This is actually a sign of maturity and growth.  It takes quite a bit of consciousness just to open your mind to this possibility.
“But Leo if I can make myself feel happy, loved, praised, then I don't need the $50 million company, or my children, or my wife to make me happy.  If I don't need the awards and achievements, then why not sit around basking in my own happiness?  Doesn’t that short circuit all of life!?!” That's the genius of this method. (20:35) This is a feature, not a bug.  You want to be autonomous, to free yourself up from depending on others’ good opinion.  If you're a people pleaser it means you derive your happiness externally, you’re acting manipulatively to get those doggy treats.
 
-If you took back responsibility for your happiness, you would be so full of love and satisfaction that it would naturally pour out of you and back out into the world.  You could behave without attachment or fear. You’d be truly coming from a place of of fullness.  From happiness, not emptiness.
            When you come from neediness, you'll manipulate others to get them to meet your desperate needs.  But when you no longer need their treats, you can act in the highest good. You can act according to your authentic values, then you're truly free and autonomous.
-Then when somebody doesn't give you something, it's okay.  You’re not attached so you don't get needy, bitter and resentful with them.  You don't judge them for not acknowledging you.
-The solution here is very simple: take back ownership of your reward mechanisms and satisfy yourself.
 
Non-Duality Epiphanies About Other People
-Over the last 10 years Leo’s gotten a lot of satisfaction through his life purpose, which is doing his work at Actualized.org.  He shares deep insights and understandings with others, like you reading this right now ?.  He gets enormous amounts of satisfaction from this, but after some years he’s started to notice there's a problem.
First, he has to constantly release new videos, otherwise he won’t get the pleasure of the feedback, of delivering wisdom.  This puts him in a perpetual quasi-slavery to doing this work. Second, no matter how many videos he releases (over 500 now) he never feels fully satisfied.  He’s still gotta release the next one and the next one and the next one to keep getting that satisfaction. Third, he’s reached such profound levels of consciousness, understanding and insight that it’s beyond the point of being able to share them with anybody.  There's almost nobody who is conscious enough for Leo to communicate his deepest insights about reality too. In the past his discoveries and wisdom were at a level where he could communicate them to us.  Now, he can't even share them with us anymore.  Lately, he’s come face to face with the realization that he won't ever be able to share his insights with any other human in the universe.  At those super high levels of insight there's no sense of other that exists to communicate with.  It’s a very deep degree of non-duality. -So, the highest levels of insight Leo achieves will be totally unshareable, incommunicable.  He’s had to resign himself to that.  It’s been a bummer because sharing profound insight was where he got the most juice out of life.
 
The Trap of Sharing
-There’s actually a trap of trying to share with others.  A lot of the happiness we get in life is from sharing.  Which is why people share things on social media.  They enjoy laughing together.  Same with experiencing some achievement in life.  You share it with your loved ones and they congratulate you.  Sharing makes your achievement feel much better and juicier.  Whereas if you have nobody to share it with, then your achievement sort of falls flat.  Like, what’s the point of winning an Olympic gold medal if none of your friends, family or anyone in your life will ever know about it?
            In consciousness work, when you reach the gold medal, nobody else knows you've reached it.  That’s the bittersweet tragedy of doing really deep consciousness work.  Nobody will understand or know when they look at you that you’ve just had this massive God realization.  Only you will know.
 
-That’s ultimately because only God can know itself.  Only God can appreciate its own beauty, its own infinitude, its own goodness and its own intelligence.  That’s not a bug, that’s a feature.  So Leo bit the bullet about his consciousness work and said,
            “I’m going to keep having these very very deep awakenings, and I have to be okay with them being incommunicable.  I have to rewire my own thinking and my own reward mechanism, such that I just bask in my own infinitude and my own self-realization.
            It’s not going to be about other people praising me or even helping others achieve it themselves, because the levels of insight that I've reached, that I'm trying to actualize, nobody else who follows my work will ever reach.  It's just impossible.
            I’ve given up on any possible satisfaction from teaching it, therefore I can only get satisfaction from basking in it myself.  I have to be at peace with that and enjoy it.  Just allow myself to be satisfied at my own self-understanding.  It’s literally self-indulgence.”
-That’s actually where true satisfaction and happiness comes from.  It's not about sharing with others, pleasing others, achieving goals or getting rewards from others.  It boils down to: what is your capacity for self-satisfaction?
-Do you want to be happy in life?  Do you want to experience the highest levels of love?  Well, it can't be extrinsic; it must be intrinsic.  You must be able to sit and just bask in your own joy of yourself, in the beauty of existence that you're conscious of.
            Just sit quietly, silently.  Don’t try to share it with others or spoil it by writing or shooting a video or taking a selfie.  Just bask in it.  That's harder to do than it seems, because most of us have been conditioned to talk about it or share it.  When you do that you're actually creating a subtle sense of other and you're not deepening your appreciation of what that thing is.
-I want you to notice that.  So, next time you find some cool video online or something funny, instead of sharing it with your friends, pause and don’t share it at all.  Just enjoy and appreciate it, all by yourself.  Recognize that it's just really really funny for you.  Recognize that you don't need the entire social matrix to validate it for you.
 
What About Loneliness? (33:10)
-When your reward mechanism goes from extrinsic to intrinsic, it's almost like locking yourself in a solipsistic bubble.  That sounds negative, but it’s not.  You become your own source of truth, happiness, love and praise.  Your own source of humor.  You’re fully happy being the only person in the world laughing at something.  A lot of people wouldn't be satisfied with that because when they laugh, they want others to laugh too.
 
-It’s very counter-intuitive to deliberately, consciously lock yourself in a solipsistic bubble.  As a thought experiment, imagine you were the last person on Earth.  Could you still enjoy life?  If the answer is no, that's a problem.  It shows that you've built a lot of extrinsic reward mechanisms.
“But Leo, that’s a horrible situation.  I would want to kill myself if that ever happened.” That just shows the depth of the rot in your mind.  That thought experiment takes away all the external sources of validation and enjoyment for you.  You would be forced to find other ways to please yourself in this situation.
 
-What you want to do is reach a point where, if you were the last person on Earth, you could still be totally joyful, happy and live out the rest of your days by yourself, just basking in the beauty of reality.
            In that situation, reality hasn't gone anywhere.  The social aspect to life is not really where the deepest joy comes from.  The deepest joy comes from appreciating existence itself. The beauty and intelligence and majesty of it.  Building that connection, that metaphysical connection to reality is what spirituality is all about. (ep: What is Spirituality.  Summary is here.)
            You want to build such a deep metaphysical connection, such a personal connection with the raw fabric of reality itself, that it makes you complete in and of itself.  Everything else is just the cherry on top.  You don't need people, or comedy, entertainment, sex, your family, you can just be happy by yourself.  Make yourself satisfied.  Doing that will simultaneously solve being a people pleaser and being lonely.   
-The reason you feel lonely is because you haven't built a deep metaphysical connection with yourself and reality.  If you get lonely easily that shows you haven't spent enough time in solitude, connecting with yourself.  You've built a lot of reward mechanisms that have to do with getting approval, validation, love, entertainment and humor from others, but you’re not truly able to enjoy life by yourself.  This is a problem.
 
The Greatest Love of All
“But Leo, I’m being selfless and sharing with friends, with my children and my spouse.  What’s so wrong with that?” -What’s wrong is that you're giving your power away.  You're giving your sovereignty away and making yourself a slave to them.  Remember, they will never ever, ever, be able to validate the deepest form of love for you.  The deepest truths, the deepest satisfaction in reality can only exist within yourself.  That's not something you can transmit to anyone else.  You can only experience it within yourself.
 
-Your friends and family are not going to validate or celebrate your awakening with you.  They are not going to be conscious enough to rise to the level that you will rise to through this work.  Almost nobody you know will be conscious enough to understand or appreciate what you've accomplished other than yourself.  You need to start changing your reward mechanism such that you feel complete with your own self-recognition and self-understanding.
            You don’t need to feel lonely, isolated or misunderstood because of this.  Ultimately, God is the only entity in the universe, so it must acknowledge and bask in itself as what it is.  This is crucial for you to reach the highest levels of satisfaction in life.  You can recognize your own innate love, goodness and consciousness.
            By the time you accomplish this you will no longer be a people pleaser and you will no longer be lonely, at least not in the ways you used to be.
 
-Leo’s not telling you to leave your family or to never be social again, or to be mean and bitter towards people.  He thinks it’s important you maintain some degree of socialization so you don't become a total recluse.  It’s just that your primary source of life satisfaction must come from a deep, meaningful relationship to reality and not your relationships to others.
 
-Ultimately you want to get to a point where the deepest love, satisfaction and joy you get in life comes only from yourself, when you’re in solitude.  You can still go to a party, or a club, or pick up girls, have children, socialize with your family, but when you're doing that it’ll just be the icing on the cake.  You need to be your own cake.  The common mistake is to make other people the cake, when they should just be the icing.
            The core of your being has to be grounded within yourself, not out there in the hands of others.  Otherwise you’ll be in this dysfunctional relationship where you have to please others, or sacrifice your own values and truth, or lie and manipulate, or construct fictions to play these social games.  Even if you do all that, it will still never fully satisfy you.  The only true satisfaction is within your own self.  So start building towards that.
 
Developing a Deep Connection to Reality
-So how do you do all this?  You practice by feeling love within yourself for no reason at all.  Appreciate yourself as the conscious entity that you are.  Appreciate yourself as the universe, as God, as infinity, as absolute love, as absolute truth, as pure awareness.  You should be able to deeply appreciate the very fabric of existence itself, even if you’re just sitting in an empty room.  That's what spirituality is really about.
            That creates the foundation of happiness upon which everything else is built.  If you don’t have that fundamental kernel of happiness you will never be satisfied.  No amount of houses, cars, sex or children will correct for that.  No amount of good deeds either.
 
-There’s a lot of creative ways you can come up with to practice.  You could do a good deed for somebody without them knowing about it.  Just keep it to yourself.  Normally, you’d tell someone to get praise or credit, but don’t do that.  Be the only person in the universe that knows you did that good thing.
            Let’s say you leave $500 in someone’s mailbox or donate it to a worthy cause.  The next day, when you're sitting there reflecting on your life, just feel good and bask in the fact that you did that because you are good. That act was an expression of your own universal goodness.  Realizing your own innate goodness is worth infinitely more than your spouse or friends telling you how good you are for doing that thing.
 
-When others they tell you how good you are they're coming from a very materialistic perspective.  They don't have a deep spiritual connection to the actual goodness of the universe or to the goodness within you that drives you to love and take action in the world.
            So the kind of praise they give you will be superficial praise.  It will be highly dependent upon their judgments of you, because as soon as you do something that they disagree with they will stop praising you.
            In fact, they might even chastise you for this good act.  They might tell you to spend that money on yourself, or give it to your family instead of some random neighbor.  This might make you feel bad.  You expected praise, but got called foolish.  Then you're going to feel bad.  Whereas if you didn't tell anyone and you could just bask in your own goodness.  You know what you did is good and selfless, even though others may not agree.
            So why do you need them to acknowledge you?  Cut that umbilical cord.  Stop needing others to acknowledge your inner goodness, your love, selflessness, consciousness and intelligence.  It should be enough for you to recognize these things simply within yourself.
 
-This is harder to do than you think.  First, it requires self-reflection.  Second, it requires slowing your life down such that you actually have time for solitude.  Most people don't even have time to contemplate the good things they've done all week because they're too busy chasing the next thing.
            That's how absurd this situation is.  If you can’t even be grateful for the good things you do for yourself, how can you expect others to do that for you? You don't even recognize your own innate goodness, then you get bitter at others for not doing so either.  Of course others don't recognize it in themselves too, because to recognize one's own innate goodness takes a high level of consciousness and maturity.
 
-Most people feel so unlovable, so broken, so undeserving, so guilty that they don't even allow themselves to take in praise.  The survival conditions they were raised in were so severe that praise was considered a luxury.  So a lot of people motivate themselves by brow beating themselves, by telling them how bad they are and then this becomes an entire way of life.  You feel bad about yourself, even though you do good things, but it’s never enough.
 
-So imagine reaching a state of consciousness and spiritual development where you're able to just sit in an empty room and be fully satisfied.  Without having to do anything.  Where you’re so in awe and in love with the sheer existence of the room, by the raw physical fabric of reality itself.  You are so appreciative of your direct experience and of existence itself that it's enough to satisfy you.
            The more you contemplate and bask in the absolute truth and the absolute love of the present moment, the more conscious you become of the spiritual nature of reality.  The deeper and deeper sense of bliss you experience and then you bliss out literally on just existence itself and that becomes the best part of your day.  This is the ultimate level of true satisfaction.
 
-It’s very different than the way you live now.  Where you begin the day by downing some coffee, then rushing off to work and doing this thing and that thing, taking care of the kids and by the end of the day you're exhausted.  Maybe you even feel like you've been productive and therefore you allow yourself a little bit of happiness.
            So instead of all that, just come back home, sit in a room by yourself and luxuriate in the glory of existence that you are.  All those external activities are actually distractions to this bliss.
 
What About Selfishness?
“But Leo but isn't this extremely selfish to live in this solipsistic bubble?  I'm just sitting there and sort of fellating myself in my own mind.  It seems almost dysfunctional!” -It seems dysfunctional only compared to how most people pursue happiness.  The true dysfunction is running around trying to please others, to buy stuff or achieve goals to get happy.
-What you're not understanding is that if you're able to reach this level of happiness and self-satisfaction, when you do go out there and socialize or run errands, which you'll still do, you’ll be coming from a much deeper place than you are now.  You're not going to be a thirsty dog running around looking for a little bit of satisfaction from someone else.  You have taken responsibility for giving yourself the satisfaction and love that you deserve.
            Then when you're out in the world, you're gonna be so satisfied, so full of love you’ll naturally pour that love out to others and be naturally selfless.
 
-By withdrawing into yourself, you might become isolated, solipsistic and even selfish for a period of time.  As you withdraw and cut off some of those social connections you might not be there for your friends and family as much as you would have when you were their little lap dog.  That's true, but later you're gonna come back on your own terms, as a truly sovereign conscious being and then after having helped yourself, now you will be in a position to help others.  You can't really help others when you're enslaved to them.
 
-This is very counter-intuitive.  It’s paradoxical.  To live the most selfless life you must first live very selfishly by withdrawing into yourself.
            Look at the classic story of the Buddha.  He supposedly lived a life of luxury and privilege.  He had a whole palace full of family members, uncles, aunts, a father and mother.  He had a wife and a child and one day, in the middle of the night, he walked out on all of them.  Didn't even say goodbye.
            Imagine how betrayed they must have felt.  Then he wandered through the woods for seven years meditating, pursuing awakening until finally he came back.  So he didn't abandon them forever, but he needed to go through that period of selfishness.  That selfishness was to realize the infinite self, the selfless self.
            When he realized that, he came back and helped them realize it too.  You can't really help others to love unless you're able to realize love for yourself.
            A problem many people pleasers and women in abusive relationships face is they get stuck.  Ladies can have this self-image of being very loving and selfless, but it's not true love.  It's not true selflessness, at least it's not the deepest, non-dual form of it.
 
-What you'll realize if you do the spiritual work deeply and you awaken is that love is not something you do.  Love is something you are.  Goodness is not something you acquire through good deeds, charity and bending over backwards.  Goodness is what you are.
-It’s not easy to raise your capacity for love, to cultivate and recognize your own goodness, to allow yourself to feel satisfied for no reason other than the consciousness of existence itself.
             Your mind will not want to do this.  Your ego-mind controls you by setting up all these conditions for happiness so that you perform for it.  That's how it gets you to do all manner of survival activities.  The fact that you need to trick yourself in order to get stuff done shows you that you’re not coming from the highest level of motivation.
 
The External, Material World is Illusory
“But Leo, this sounds like self brainwashing.  You're just sitting in a room bullshitting yourself into happiness.  That's not truth, that's just new-age, wishful thinking stuff.  If I build a $50 million company, that's objective, that's tangible." “When I get happiness for building that company or getting a million dollars or having sex with some hottie or raising beautiful children, that’s tangible material stuff.  That’s what deserves true satisfaction, not sitting in a room doing nothing.  That's cheating.” -Part of the materialist worldview is thinking that the external world is truer than your inner nature.  It’s actually the opposite.  The truest thing is your existence, your consciousness, your God nature, your intrinsic beauty, yourself as the universe.  That's the real, absolute truth. (59:00)
            So, your money, children and good deeds aren’t what's objectively real.  That’s all derivative, second order stuff.  They’re all illusions.  Its meaning and existence are predicated upon the fact that you exist, that you are God dreaming up the universe.  The objective, tangible world is a figment of your imagination.
 
-You need to recognize and re-collect your sovereignty.  Use that as the anchor point from which you feel, think and take action.  If you do that you will overcome the problem of  loneliness, of people pleasing.  You will overcome the problem of endlessly chasing things that never satisfy you.
            You will also overcome the ultimate problem of being unable to communicate the infinite beauty of the universe to other people.  Only you can recognize the infinite beauty of the universe with your mind's eye, through your own consciousness.  Nobody can do this for you. You can share bits and pieces of it, but you can’t fully transplant the infinite beauty of the universe into other people’s experience of life.
 
Tips for Application
-Keep building and building this type of solitary satisfaction until it gives you near-orgasmic levels of pleasure.
Do good deeds for their own sake, not to get praise from others. Appreciate the world around you more.  Gratitude turns what you have into enough. Start doing things by yourself, especially the things you’d normally only do with others (going to the movies, a restaurant, a waterpark, etc).  Appreciate it without needing to share the experience or get validation from others. Enjoy a scenic place by yourself.  Go to a national park, a beach, a beautiful city and just walk around.  Luxuriate in your solitude, in this beautiful, kind of melancholic, solipsistic bubble.  Don't talk to anyone.  Appreciate and soak in the beauty that's there.  Let that be enough to satisfy you. Dine at a beautiful restaurant by yourself.  Order a really nice meal, maybe something special or exotic, and eat it slowly, deliberately.  Appreciate and enjoy the heck out of it in a way that you never would with friends.  When you’re eating with friends you’re too distracted to even notice the thing that you're eating. Go to the movies by yourself.  Enjoy it just as much as you would with friends, or even more because friends can distract you by talking or eating popcorn.  When you're done watching the movie, don't talk about it with anybody.  Resist the instinct to text your friend about it.  Just appreciate the movie as it is, by yourself. Appreciate solitude, period.  There’s a positive, melancholic side to solitude.  It’s nice to be alone with your thoughts, to contemplate and appreciate what’s in the present moment.  -If you’re alone, but feeling lonely, learning to appreciate the alone times will make you more grateful when that special person does arrive.  So let that craving go.  Ideally you want to be satisfied with others and by yourself.  Only when you’re coming from that place of self-love can you be authentic.  You won’t need to control or manipulate others to stay with you.  If they come, great.  If not, you can still enjoy yourself.
-These tips are deep spiritual work.  If doing any of them makes you feel like a loser, it shows how addicted you are to external rewards.
 
-Building up the muscle of beingness, of wonder, of awe at the universe will make you appreciate other people and activities so much more.
            Leo’s not saying you should never spend time with other people.  It’s good to maintain a healthy social life.  He’s just saying you can turn solitary travel into a practice to build your satisfaction for life.  You're still going to socialize, but you’ll do it from a deeper place of satisfaction, not desperation.
 
-The fundamental truth is that, in the end, you are the only conscious entity in the universe.  So if you don't appreciate the universe who will?
            This episode is trying to guide you towards a very deep, profound appreciation of existence, of reality that can only be done by you.  It’s not going to be done by your unconscious friends and family who take existence for granted.
            This appreciation of reality requires training.  It’s not something you learn in a weekend.  Most people won't to do it.  They don't even know they should be doing it.  So, you’re one of the few humans on the planet that’s going to do this, if you do it.
 
-You can’t imagine the level of satisfaction and joy this will bring, especially if you keep it up over ten, twenty years and beyond.  You’re going to have a level of joy that nobody around you can understand.  You’re also not going to be able to share that with anybody but yourself.  But it’s not going to be a problem, because you've trained yourself to luxuriate in your own joy and you will finally feel complete.
 
Feeling Unloveable
-Most people feel they don't deserve love.  You solve that problem by giving yourself more and more and more love until you realize you are love.  Then you're always conscious of the love that you are, that the universe is.  Then you don't need other people to give you love and you don't feel unlovable anymore.  This solves all your self-esteem problems too.
(Aaron Abke has a good video on self-love.) -This solution is very counterintuitive because the ego mind has co-opted true love, happiness and satisfaction to manipulate you into doing its survival bidding.
              If you don't take ownership over that process you're never going to be satisfied in life.  Survival and the mechanisms your ego mind has constructed aren’t about happiness.  The ego-mind is about surviving, not thriving.  The ego’s not designed to make you happy.  That’s why no matter how good you are at surviving, it's never going to make you happy. (1:10:30)
              You can't pay someone to appreciate life for you.  If you can't appreciate life you're going to be miserable and depressed.
 
-You will not be satisfied with anything shy of infinite love because that's what you are.  Deep down consciousness knows what it is and consciousness is seeking to reunite with its true nature which is infinite love.
              You have love, beauty, intelligence and goodness inside you, but they have been obscured by layers of fear, shame, survival scripts and social conditioning.  You're out of touch with your own divine nature within.  You’ve got to discover that and when you do, that's what you will really want.
              All the external stuff you've been chasing has been a poor substitute for what you were really seeking, the divine nature within.  Discovering that is the root solution to people pleasing and to loneliness.
 
-Now that you know all this, what are you going to do?  If you don't do the work nothing's going to happen.  Ten, twenty years will go by and you’ll be even more miserable, because you’ll wish you’d started this work much earlier, but then it's gonna be too late.
-So start now. Come up with ways to start practicing this.  Ultimately, you’ll have to have some enlightenment experiences to your true inner nature as love, God and absolute truth.  That will make you more present, grounded and appreciative of the beauty that is here. (1:13:50)  That will build a metaphysical connection to reality and you’ll appreciate reality more and more and more and more.
            These days, Leo can just look at a fork and marvel at the intelligence of it.  This might sound absurd, and if somebody told Leo five years ago that a fork had any intelligence to it, he’d think you’re some crazy, new age hippy.
(I always though this scene was silly until I learned about non-duality:  The Matrix’s Spoon boy)  
-These days when Leo looks at an ordinary dinner fork it baffles him that most people can’t see the infinite intelligence. So everything gets turned upside down and then life just becomes so profound.
            The depth of life is true richness, not money or external possessions.  It’s really about your capacity to appreciate the intelligence of the design, of this entire dream that you're in.  Then just looking at reality makes you feel full of delight and joy, because what was just an ordinary fork, car, person, cat, place, you see for what it really is: a finite manifestation of God, of the infinite mind that you are a projection of. Then you can see and appreciate its innate beauty, intelligence, goodness and its connection to the whole universe.
 
Shallow vs Deep Solutions
          - Notice that many of the problems in your life can be solved at multiple levels.  You can find a lot of shallow solutions to the problem of loneliness or people pleasing.  This episode presents a very deep solution.  Deep solutions are more difficult to understand, implement and they take longer.  They’re a long term investment instead of a quick fix.
          - When you make deep, long-term investments that solve a problem at the root, you don't have to keep fighting the problem over and over again for years.  You won't have to live with the problem anymore.
            Shallow solutions will never hit a problem at the root.  Quick fixes will waste your time, money and won’t stop the problem from reappearing, maybe even for the rest of your life.
           -Life is designed in such a way that you get out of it what you put into it.  In this way life is fair.  So, how much do you want to put into it and get out of it?  How deep do you want your life to be?  Do you want to have a really deep profound experience of life?  Well then you're going to have to dig deep and do the work, because it’s not going to just land on your lap.
          - Everything Leo teaches is predicated on the idea that you want to live a more profound life than the average person.  If you don't want that, you’re wasting your time at Actualized.org.  You should go watch someone else.  The depth in your life that's possible is so profound, none of you can fathom it.  It’s truly infinite and impossible to communicate.  Hence, how deep you go depends on how deep you want to go.

This was explained in every Spiral stage video of mine. I have lists of how to move up to the next stage.
No, not knowledge per se but understanding and perspective, Without a nuanced understanding you will be lost fighting other people and yourself. To live in 2nd Tier requires a very sophisticated understanding of how the mind and world works. This is not about accumulating a bunch of theory, it's about a deep contemplation of the mechanics of life and self.
See my video on Nihilism where I address this very problem of relativism and aperspectival madness that you're going through.
"Not knowing" is too easy. That's not good enough to survive effectively in life. You have no choice but to know, and Tier 2 requires very sophisticated sense-making.
It's not impossible at all. Educate yourself. Read books. Over a decade you will develop a much richer understanding of the world and yourself.
Also, this requires serious personal reflection and contemplation.
You are citizen of a democracy (I assume), and you are citizen of the world. It is your duty as a conscious being to  care about politics and social issues, even if you live in private. You are a social animal. Social issues are not optional. The only question is whether you will do them poorly or well. Part of Tier 2 is that you take much more responsibility for life and the world. You cannot just live "privately". That illusion flies out the window.
It means what videos Yellow and Turquoise say. And what the Spiral Dyanmics book says. Read the book. Stop being lazy.
At least read the Spiral Dynamics book.
YES! Welcome to Tier 2, and welcome to life! Life is complex.
Tier 2 is less that 1% of the world population. It is not easy to develop. Now you understand why. People are too lazy to do the development work or to even read a book.
If you are not willing to read at least 100 books, then you can forget about Tier 2. You're not serious about this work then, and you're not serious about life. Tier 2 is NOT about reading books, but if you are unwilling to read 100 books then that shows you are not serious about understanding reality, and therefore you are doomed to be deluded. And as a deluded and ignorant person you will be in Tier 1.
Spiral Dynamics is a complex model that requires at least 50 hours of study and research to begin to understand. It's not hard, but it does take work. None of this work is rocket science, but it does take a serious commitment to personal growth and mastery of life.
- - - - -
Your fundamental problem is lack of seriousness and engagement with life. If you don't change your attitude, your life will be wasted.
Life works like this: you only get what you give. And right now it sounds like you're not interested in giving much. So you won't get much.
If you want to change, make a commitment to life-long education and to reading at least 100 books from my book list. Now you can get somewhere. But still, that's less than 3% of the work necessary to really master life. That's just the first step. That merely opens the door.
It takes about 5 years to move up 1 Spiral stage, and that assumes active, serious work at it. So it might take you 15 years of personal development work to reach Tier 2.
Before you balk at this, ask yourself this: what else is there to do? You got something more important to do? Hehehe....

@Terell Kirby If 1% of the world population is at Yellow then of course they'll be difficult to find, especially if for the most part they tend to isolate themselves at home.
You most likely won't find them in person at an event, club, or other sort of group setting, but I did find an old thread where Leo says, "Green or yellow friends you can find at university, meditation/consciousness retreats, seminars/workshops, etc." Which makes sense.
I'm sure a handful of people here on these forums are at or almost at Yellow, and are looking for like-minded individuals so you can interact with them here, but it seems like you're already doing so.
To find Yellow friends in person to hang out with is the difficult part, but all it takes is getting out there and socialize.
I myself would like some like-minded friends but I don't bother going out to socialize. I'm at a point where I'd rather just be alone than have friends who don't share the same ideas or interests as me, because to be honest I don't really need friends. My last 3 friendships I easily threw away because we just didn't share the same level of thinking, (plus they were toxic)  and now I basically have 0 friends which is completely fine with me, I love solitude. 
At Tier 2 I believe that there's no need for friends, but rather friends are more of just an optional addition to your life.
Just keep digging, maybe you'll strike gold or diamond, and make sure to dig in the right spots.

Hey, ya'll, I need your help!
I want to create a comprehensive list of video examples of prototypical stage Turquoise thinking.
This is meant to be an educational tool for people learning about Spiral Dynamics.
So towards that end, scour Youtube and find all the videos you can which exhibit stage Turquoise thinking. Try to find videos which are short and sweet. The more diversity we can display here, the better. Try to find examples from various cultures.
We will create a mega-thread like this for every stage in the Spiral, from Red to Turquoise. But here, let's just focus on Turquoise. Each week I will start a new mega-thread topic for the next stage.
Do not start a political debate in this thread! It is not our goal here to defend our personal political positions or to judge any stage, but simply to compile examples.
Thanks for your help! I'm excited to see what kind of juicy stuff you dig up. Try to be selective with your choices.
This can turn into a really cool list.
Stage Turquoise Values:
Consciousness Elevating mankind’s consciousness Truth Deep metaphysical insight Wisdom, the wisdom of nature Mysticism, spirituality, nonduality God, divinity Holism, integration, synthesis vs analysis Integrating all religions & science Left & right brain synthesis Honesty, transparency, authenticity Being vs knowing, doing, having Simplicity, flowing with nature Minimalist sustainable living Collaborative synergy Human wellness Healing at all levels: physical, emotional, spiritual Exploring altered states of consciousness Intuition Channeling: direct downloads from infinite intelligence Supernatural creativity Spiritual purification Awakening, transcendence, liberation Unconditional love, compassion for all Emotional mastery Presence, mindfulness Paradox Esoteric teachings Gratitude Unity Deeper & deeper levels of interconnectedness Selfless living Sacrifice self for greater consciousness Meditation, yoga, contemplation, self-inquiry Not-knowing Humility Spontaneity, playfulness, self-amusement The really big picture Stage Turquoise Examples:
Sadhguru, Shunyamurti, Thomas Campbell, Yoda, David Hawkins, Ken Wilber, Shinzen Young, Deepak Chopra, Stan Grof, Osho, Mooji, Ramaji, Rupert Spira, Eckhart Tolle’s A New Earth, Yogananda, Martin Ball, Terence McKenna, Carl Jung, Sri Aurobindo, Pierre Teilhard de Chardin, Ervin Laszlo, David Loy, Alan Watts, Wim Hof, Matt Kahn, Dalai Lama, Sasha Shulgin, yoga, holotropic breathwork, The Holographic Universe, Akashic Records, noosphere, opening the 3rd eye, pineal gland, out of body experiences, samadhi experiences, siddhis, paranormal abilities, clairvoyants, channels, mediums, Bashar, Aleister Crowley, Rudolf Steiner, alternative healing systems, Maya, psychedelics, 5-MeO-DMT, StarTrek: The Q, Rupert Sheldrake’s morphogenetic fields, Dean Radin’s paranormal research, Gandhi’s ideas of pluralistic harmony, Gaia, biocentrism, Monroe Institute, Esalen Institute, transpersonal psychology, Jung’s collective unconscious, quantum field theory, sacred geometry, reincarnation, opening chakras, saints, sages, mystics, prophets, etc.