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About HighFlyingOwl

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  1. I actually participated in one guided breathwork session a couple of weeks before the trip at a psychedelic retreat. At first I was a bit anxious if I should breathe that heavily, but not participating wasn't really an option. Although it didn't solve the issue completely, it eased the symptoms to a very high degree. But there were still some blockages I could not quite let go off. If the symptoms come back, I'm definitely participating in some guided breathwork again. The incredible community and connections I felt there also did it's part in helping me relax. As you say now it seems I was just really stressed out and tense. About a week later, the pain was back at it's normal level.
  2. I have had breathing issues for several months, to the degree that I woke up during sleep because breathing was fucking painful. I couldn't exercise during that time, because then the pain increased for the next three days. Pretty annoying. My doctor thought it was pollen allergy, which was odd bc I have never had any allergies before, and as it turned out, I didn't respond to any allergy testing, my blood values even indicated no allergic reactions because of low inflammation values at all. One night I did Ketamine about 120mg. I didn't intend to cure my health problems, but at one point I felt such a energy flowing through my body. I could increase the energy flow by breathing deeply, and so did I, for about 10min I felt like a fucking puffer fish because i breathed sooo deeply. The energy flow was so fascinating! Felt like energy straight outta the milky way! And my body was its pipe! I had very little sense of time but it felt like i inhaled and exhaled for about 30seconds each. During that, I had no breathing problems and no pain at all (which might had been the case because of the pain killing effects of Ketamine). It was fucking wonderful to be able to breathe that freely and powerful. After that night, the symptoms were gone. It was amazing. I think it's realistic that the breathing problems were psychosomatic, but is there even a difference between physical and psychosomatic causes? It's all one body and one mind. As I think my doctor and parents wouldn't approve my experience, I only told my friends, and they were astonished as well. Really fucking crazy experience!
  3. Hi, I had a very strange, intense and mysterious dream last night. I never had a dream like this. I was just standing outside somewhere looking into the sky. The sky wasn't blue, it was grey with lighter and darker clouds on it. Then these clouds began to morph. They formed Sauron's eye from Lord Of The Rings. Overall did I look about 5 seconds at the eye. The first 2 seconds, nothing happened, but suddenly, right in the middle of an eye, a light began to shine. It wasnt the sun or anything, it was like an laser pointer beaming right into my eyes. It was directed right at me. And then I got sucked towards it. Not like when gravity sucks you towards the earth. Everything that I was, was sucked right at it. Not only my body, but also my mind, and every corner of my conciousness. It just sucked the entirety of my dream experience towards it. And the dream-reality began to dissolve. It just began to disappear. It felt like if I'm allowing this process to finish, nothing will be left in my dream. I could feel that this wouldn't stop by itself. Idk what the hell happend during this situation in that dream, but it was completely disproportionate to what i thought was possible to experience even in a dream. There was no scale to it. When I try to think of the experience, it sorta like doesn't compute. Not to 1 percent. This experience seemed incompatible with reality. You could probably say i was scared during this time, but "fear" didn't apply to it. When you fear something, it has to kind of be in your reality, otherwise you couldn't have a "fear-connection" with it. I hope you understand what i mean. No emotion, no concept didn't apply to it, because this was so fucking incompatible with previous reality. I thought of just letting it happen and to watch what was gonna happen next, but I was scared to have me gone, so after 5 seconds of looking at these sauron-eye-clouds I turned away. I remember to have collected myself during the dream and thought this is what Frodo experiences when hes looks into Saurons eye. I have absolutely no idea what to think of this dream. Was this some kind of ego-death during a dream? It didn't feel like "just" the ego was going to fade, it felt like existence itself went away. I am thinking about if I ever find myself in this state during a dream again, I would let it happen to see where it's going because at this moment I'm quite fascinated and curious but I doubt I would be able to do it. How do you deal with something that seems to be out of this world? Has anyone any idea, WTF this was?
  4. @meow_meow I think I've experienced similar things like this during meditations. I do them daily since ~ 4 months now, and I did the strong determination sitting technique (30 minutes a day) for some time. I had physical sensations that were almost painful, not located, just painful in my mind. And such a strong urge to stop meditating, or to distract myself. I had thoughts upcoming like "this meditation is already really deep, so you can stop now", "you've been meditating so long now, its ok if you end it early today", "you're doing it wrong, it shouldn't feel bad / painful in some way". These sensations were pretty intense and unpleasent, Idk if I would call them torture, but they defenitly were on a good way. It was difficult to just watch these sensations just like the other ones (itches, which are unpleasant at first but I get uset to them very fast, or muscle pain during the sittings). But a few times i managed to do so, and 1 time I think I overcame them during the sitting. They somehow stopped and I felt like meditating at the next step, felt a bit of peacefullness and bliss, but not that intense. If you can endure these sensations one day, I recommend you to try just accept them. Do not resist them. It's hard, but once you've done so successfully, the sensations change in a way. Like they are still there, but they are somehow... different. And better. Idk how to describe, but not resisting to them will help you, but I'm sure you already know that. Good luck!