mandyjw

It just struck me, the not two, double meaning of "overlooking" as in not looking, not seeing, and over-looking as in looking too much, searching.

Overlooking This wasn't supposed to happen. Everything I wanted, so deeply wanted, the connection, the freedom, the love, the fairness beyond fairness of it all, the never missing out, the sheer magic, it wasn't supposed to be logical. The world wasn't that way, I thought I was supposed to fit myself into it, poorly. I thought I was thrown in to survive. On Halloween night the feeling I received was tied to a particular circumstance and yet it wasn't, it was my interpretation of events I don't understand. Unfathomable, nonsensical death and loss. I have no idea why people attract the events they do and yet I do. It's so simple, so obvious, so incredibly beautiful and shocking that my face gets beat red from the fact that I dare understand. It's childish, it's stupid, it's silly, it's so, so, so simple, so available. There's a really wonderful family who lives nearby who has a mentally retarded son. He is very sweet, he isn't caught in thought, he just holds his vibration. If something tragic happened, he wouldn't be upset. He wouldn't lose sleep. He wouldn't say how sorry he was. He wouldn't bake you a casserole. He'd just be Bobby. And that nothing, is so what is needed. Because nothing is needed. I've felt so overlooked. Sure, Source charges through me, the feeling, the release, the understanding, the shivers up my spine. It lifts me up to the status of mental retardation. But I cannot translate it. I cannot enforce it or even give it to another because there's no assertion. Only attraction. And sometimes I forget that this is too perfect for logic to grasp. I am here. translate (v.) early 14c., "to remove from one place to another," also "to turn from one language to another," from Old French translater and directly from Latin translatus "carried over," serving as past participle of transferre "to bring over, carry over" (see transfer), from trans "across, beyond" (see trans-) + lātus "borne, carried" (see oblate (n.)). Related: Translated; translating. A similar notion is behind the Old English word it replaced, awendan, from wendan "to turn, direct" (see wend). I'm not going anywhere. I'm just like Bobby. I transform by not doing. Can I do better? Can I translate myself better? Or is riddles and rick rolling only for those who have eyes to see the only way? If it's right under your nose, how arrogant of me to event assume I could do such a thing. Here, wait on me while I bring you what you already have, already are. Source why the complexity? Cause the simplicity. simplicity (n.) late 14c., "singleness of nature, unity, indivisibility; immutability," https://www.etymonline.com/search?q=simplicity

@Someone here You know what gives me anxiety? Anxiety. Are you particularly concerned about some thing or things in particular, or is it just general... anxiety? Does the anxiety seem to have a reason behind it?

@Someone here If you were rid of anxiety, what would that feel like, what would you do that you aren't doing now?

Because you're focusing on what you're giving up rather than what you want. If you focus just on the downside of any action you won't get anywhere. Always looking for something else is a very consuming task. Most people don't prefer to live in shacks and tents, abandon them and build again from scratch somewhere else, if they can they typically pour concrete foundations and build a home. Monogamy is incredibly synergistic when done consciously. If you start focusing on what you don't have or your partner's flaws it starts to feel really bad, and then we tell ourselves that the flaws and lack of freedom are why we feel bad when really, we just stopped focusing on what we want.

For me, it was one of the most beneficial things to remove from my diet. I think if you're eating high quality grass fed kefir, cheese and occasional milk, and you can tolerate it, it's healthy. One thing we do with food is make it low quality, available and cheap so it's ingested in such high quantities, that what would have once been a treat or only available at certain times of year becomes a staple. Milk should have a unique flavor to it, but since we mix the milk of hundreds of cows it's standardized. Cows aren't meant to be lactating constantly. When you visit a high quality organic small farm, it's still not pretty how animals are raised. The way we achieve producing abundant standardized dairy products is not really that humane or natural. It makes a lot of sense that it reflects on our health too. It's understandable as it wasn't that long ago that much of the planet wasn't hungry or facing the possibility of starvation, but now it's high time to go back to a focus on health, animal welfare and food quality.

I grew up in the woods next to a pond. Trust me, the answer is both if you want to get anything done ever and don't even think about it. Spiders are holy though. Why? Because I say so.

@Inception Emotion indicates "where" a thought came from and lies under the surface so to speak. So if a thought feels bad, either I have beliefs that are causing me to misinterpret what this thought means to me, and/or the thought is not true. If my idea of me and what I am is false, I will have a lot of thoughts that my emotions are like "NAH!" to. So emotion is already dismissing thought for us, we don't have to do it. Just listen.

But the thinker is a thought. A question is a thought. It doesn't think. You are too smart for your own good. The thinker thinks it's thinking. When you stop thinking, answers are received. Thoughts are always received, but when we believe them to be effort, they seem to be effort, so we miss that we receive them. It's like the radio asking if its true identity is "Oops I Did it Again" or Britney Spears.

All of them.

beleafs

Aww... man. I was going to post this to inspire you, but then I inspired myself and I started playing it really loud and belting it out, and just about everyone in my family yelled at me for being too loud, and then the dog even jumped on the keyboard and hit the spacebar and stopped it. So anyway, I guess we're in the same boat. (Just ignore the Jesus part) Anyway, even if you can't express it because you annoy everyone around you, you can BE the light, you are the light. There's nothing you can do that will change that, or nothing anyone else can do. I highly suggest reading Man's Search for Meaning by Victor Frankl. It's such a powerful example of BEING the light in such extreme conditions. We really are never powerless. As for feeling unappreciated, go for a walk in nature and think about how unappreciated you are. Then look at literally anything. A leaf, a root, a tree. Can you appreciate it? Is it unappreciated? Can you truly appreciate it and also feel unappreciated at the same time? Why not?

Don't mind me, I'm talking to myself again. (Not solipsism, literally.) bias (n.) 1520s, "oblique or diagonal line," from French biais "a slant, a slope, an oblique," also figuratively, "an expedient, means" (13c., originally in Old French a past-participle adjective, "sideways, askance, against the grain"), a word of unknown origin. Probably it came to French from Old Provençal biais, which has cognates in Old Catalan and Sardinian, and is possibly via Vulgar Latin *(e)bigassius from Greek epikarsios "athwart, crosswise, at an angle," from epi "upon" (see epi-) + karsios "oblique" (from PIE *krs-yo-, suffixed form of root *sker- (1) "to cut"). https://www.etymonline.com/word/bias So Self bias, is literally cutting yourself in half, drawing a line through yourself. Which only thought can do. A thought separates or combines what it has unconsciously already separated. I think myself. "I cannot live with myself anymore." Well who is the self I cannot live with anymore? So asking thought if there's a thinker would always be the ultimate self bias.

You assume that there is a conflict and a separation between the two, so you experience that there is one. They actually work together very well. The more you mediate the more what used to be boring subjects become more interesting and then even fascinating. The more you delve into research and push the limits of thought the more the relaxation of meditation will feel great. The more you let go of thoughts that feel crappy, thoughts that complain, etc, the more thoughts of appreciation come in. Fantastic connections are made between things that were previously unrelated. The best meals are after being hungry for a while the best or sleeps are after a day of hard work. The play of what seems to be opposites actually are compliments. Painting a story that school is survival is not serving you very well. School is really an amazing privilege if you consider what a tiny, tiny percentage of humans over the past 1000 years have even had access to basic schooling. Most were so busy surviving they didn't even have time to think that it was for survival.

That question turns Self bias into a whole nother thing, don't it?

My pumpkin has since rotted and one of the pumpkin figures has checked out. It was the guy pumpkin. The guys always die first. The weaker sex, you know. We are what the light shines through and reflects on. Never the light. And yet only the light. It occurs to me that I have been holding myself in a place of mysterious sorrow, sort of like melancholy, but cool. "Sad songs say so much". I listened to way too much Elton John as a child. Even saying this now is playing the same old song. How long will I play it? Well, it's pretty. It has depth. Depth people, I have depth. Look into my eyes. Completely fucking hollow. Hallowed. Hollow. Hallowed. This way of being and interacting seems to have some depth to it, but this is false. Because joy? Joy is dangerous. I must make myself undissapointable. I am only made of pumpkin flesh after all. The light is what creates the whole notion of shallow or depth. The most distant stars shine the dimmest. Don't you know how important I am? When I die, death does too. I must keep death alive. This is hard work people. Important work. Hmm. BRB. I have chores to do. Like throwing the entire fucking pumpkin on the compost pile.

The misunderstanding that "happiness is caused" is root of this kind of thing. We habitually believe that substances, items, people, circumstances and events are the cause of our happiness. It seems this way because when we get something we desire, there is actually a lack of thoughts saying that what we want is not here. When you take a substance that stops those particular thoughts and invites in new possibilities you would again attribute that happiness with the substance, not the lack of thoughts. The good news is you can drop thoughts that feel bad to you at any point. "I feel less than I did two days ago." is one of those thoughts.

If you didn't grow up with it as a "reality" you must abide by and submit to, I can see why one might find it appealing. In my opinion it's a slippery slope to some major archetypal confusion. God, the Father figure, the Judger, the one who holds hierarchy in place. He's really just another scapegoat in the end. That's the same role the Devil plays, ironically.

I keep coming here. I go to cemeteries to cheer myself up, says a lot. Sigh... If I didn't use others as an excuse to keep suffering would I lose my humanity? Hadn't we already told you, you never had humanity? You never were human? I asked the dead, (Jeez, I'm getting into this witch vibe today. Must have been the hat.) I asked them, show me. What would you tell me? And what I got was this inexplicable bad feeling of horror and loss. WELL THAT WAS UNEXPECTED. One that I had no experience with. Loss of the living, not of the dead. Was it mine? No. Was it mine? Yes. I imagined that. It was not death is was misunderstood grief. Radical. He says its radical. Well blind me by the light. De part. Dearly de parted. Did we part? Am I a part? part (n.) mid-13c., "division, portion of a whole, element or constituent (of something)," from Old French part "share, portion; character; power, dominion; side, way, path," from Latin partem (nominative pars) "a part, piece, a share, a division; a party or faction; a part of the body; a fraction; a function, office," related to portio "share, portion," from PIE root *pere- (2) "to grant, allot."

@How to be wise The third one from the sun. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Color

The universe says you are very deer to me. ? Just enjoy, the wonder preceeds the meaning, but doesn't exclude it.

Personality is like color. White light is absorbed and reflected and appears as the color it reflects. Turn the light off and there is no color. Color is not inherent to an object, it actually belongs to and is borrowed from the light. In the same way personality is not inherent to the person. Enlightenment is prior to personality and any qualities of a person just like light itself is prior to the appearance of color.

Extroverted, meaning focused on what's on the outside, focused on others. So thoughts of developing my extroversion are actually introverted, thoughts about myself reflecting on myself. If I'm thinking about what others are thinking of me, I'm introverted. If I'm really perceiving someone as they are, enjoying them, and feeling inspired to express myself, the only way I can BE extroverted is to just DO that in the moment, I can't really think myself extroverted.