mandyjw

Had a really, really difficult day. I've always hated November. Everything seems dead. I know it's not but it seems that way at first glance. The lonely raw beauty and peace of this place that is so powerful in brighter times of year turns cold, dark and dreary. It's the end of the earth after all. This year I tried very hard to buck this pattern of belief about this time of year. I couldn't sleep well on Halloween night, we got another storm with really high winds. I had forgotten to go outside and do something so I went out in it and I just felt the intense and terrifyingly powerful energy of the wind. It didn't feel like love but it sure did feel alive. There was something nice about being able to write off things as just weather in the past. There was something reassuring about being able to write off bad energies as bad and not my own disconnection. I've been so emotionally bankrupt (not the right term at all but I don't know what is), today, it's been really difficult to be there for a feverish sick 3 year old when you feel you can barely take care of yourself. She insisted that she wanted an apple and I told her harshly that we were all out but there sitting on the microwave was a small gold apple I'd picked from out back and forgotten about. She later told me she wanted a flower. I went out in the rain and picked her two and she insisted I put one in my hair.

How do you think it is that Jesus was able to heal people, "drive out demons" heal mental illness and do other miracles? Do you think Jesus avoided the spirit realm and was afraid to open himself up to it?

@Girzo My mom ended up with a chronic diarrhea, and intolerance to fatty foods after taking antibiotics (for a chest cold) then found she could not tolerate gluten or dairy. Slowly she was able to add back in some fats and discovered that coconut oil didn't bother her at all for some reason. Last year I started getting chronic stomach pain and after many attempts to figure it out ended up following low FODMAPS too. It took me a long time to figure out what bothered me and what didn't but it was a great framework to start from. I still have to follow it loosely. Before the stomach pain started I was on a diet where I was eating a TON of beans and lentils and I wonder if that caused the issue. Now I can only tolerate lentils if they are canned, and only sometimes. I've been adding more higher fodmaps foods in lately and doing ok. I feel a little silly about mentioning this, but this past year I also uncovered a weird sort of connection with a clairvoyant herbal doctor from the 1800's who grew up where I live. He had written a book and has a recipe in it for chronic diarrhea. It's really old and it's a lot of work to make the recipe in full but it might point you towards some herbs to look into if you're interested in herbal remedies. If you're interested I can post it here.

Try strictly following the FODMAPS diet for a few weeks. https://www.healthline.com/nutrition/fodmaps-101#effects

Sick kid, not letting you sleep well, work, get outside, exercise or mediate, and you realize that all the things you do to keep you present and in the zone during the day are fucking bullshit bandaids. Meditation is completely conditional bullshit, and yet, we came here to be and live and want completely conditional bullshit. I stole 5 minutes to mediate upstairs during which and she mixed her popcorn with her milk and tried to hide it in the fridge and spilled it all over the hardwood floor. It was still worth it though. I'm asking for a lot.

Denial isn't necessary, just because you went into something with some unconscious selfish motives doesn't mean that you can't deepen the relationship and see through them at the same time. If you simply reminded young men here to see through their own survival needs, like you're reminding me here, that would be fair. But you're not, you are teaching them ways to act on their instincts, get what they want and perpetuate the self bias.

@Leo Gura I have one lifetime, you cannot separate the evils of self survival with the opportunity of having one life to make an impact. Inspired life purpose and survival are two ends of the same stick. I could list out my own tips and tricks for women to lock down a good, honest, reliable man, which I successfully figured out at 16 years old, but that wouldn't serve anyone. People will call upon different life experiences to teach them the lessons they came here to learn. You can opt out of plenty of them without any suffering when you know what you really want in life.

This entire game and the rules are made up by you. I'm not saying you are wrong about it within certain pockets of society or that you made the game up without the help of others, but you are perpetuating it and teaching it to others. You are making generalizations about women based on your experiences and expectations, sharing them as facts and rules and not considering the effects of perpetuating them because to you every male on this forum is a copy of Leo before he learned how to pick up women and they have to do the same thing you did. That's not the case. You aren't deeply considering the why behind your observations, why don't women like nice guys? BECAUSE NICE GUYS ARE FAKE and assholes underneath it all with an extra layer of deception which is unattractive, so it's better to be with an asshole who is at least honest about it. Just teach men to be honest and genuinely trustworthy and they will do fine. People are as different and unique as can be, and what attracts them to one another is beyond them. Only the male mind would try to come up with a set of rules in order to try to control and understand a spiritual and emotional attraction as fundamental and powerful as the creation of the universe. Only the mind would try to pervert something so beautiful and impossible to understand.

@Nahm Congratulations, I really hope we'll still be seeing you around here.

The problem with being an attractive woman is that being attractive is completely subjective and totally imaginary. Just like Brad Pitt is supposedly attractive and I personally find his appearance somewhat disgusting, every single attractive woman has at some point encountered a man who was completely uninterested in her look or vibe. When society and other men value you based on your looks, and looks are so subjective anyway, you can never ever be sure if you're really attractive or not. I mean society has made huge efforts to try to standardize attractiveness in women, but they can't quite succeed because beauty is the the eye of the beholder. What if you gain 5 pounds over the holidays? Don't put on makeup? Still hot? The best ego boost a woman who bases her worth on her looks can get is to sleep with new men all the time. Is she actually interested in the sex, or is she interested in having that interaction to ensure that she is beautiful and can continue to value herself based on her looks and desirability to men? Who created that need? Did she create that need, or did man create that need in his requirement for women to be beautiful in order to be worth his attention? Or maybe society created that need by setting a beauty standard and deciding what makeup she should wear and what cup size she should have and conveniently providing her options to buy/pay to fix and standardize all of those things? After all, reality is imaginary. Isn't it time to imagine a better one? What's sad is that women are taught that that vulnerability is a personal failing they should get over, instead of a greater depth of experience kind of thing. They often get used in the beginning and then learn to "man up" and use men before they can get used. In a man's world, the only way a woman can win is by thinking like a man and playing the man's game. Or by opting out of the game. Incels are feeling the pain of the effects of a man's world, survival of the fittest/hottest, stage orange society and women who disregarded their femininity, intuition and bought into it. It's played out, it doesn't work. Time for stage green please.

On this forum we haven't decided how to marry the insights we've had into the nature of reality with "real" life. So even if we awakened and we understand the extraordinary power of emotion, we still go along our everyday life and interactions to people with our old patterning. The patterning of one who is naturally open to emotion is going to look very different and unevolved to the patterning of one who is used to always defaulting to logic. We each have different challenges, we could help each other see through those challenges if we could see the mutual connection we have and realize that we are here for each other, in an opposite mirroring kind of effect. The more we focus on what we don't want, the more we get. We don't want bugs, so we mist the entire environment with DDT and we end up with worse problems than bugs. Discover then focus on what it is that you DO want. You want a deeper connection to exist on this forum beyond a connection of logic, of who is right or wrong or who understands reality better. You want something that goes deeper than that, something that transcends duality, something that includes and embraces emotion instead of shirking from it or slapping it away as unevolved nonsense. Who or where else on the internet could great potential for connection exist but within a community of people who is so awake? I have a butterfly chrysalis on my porch right now, but it has been a really long time and it hasn't hatched. Should I pull out the bug spray?

You are the book's author though, you lovingly imagined and created all the other characters in your life and you love them as yourself. @sausagehead Yes, and you can to learn to interact with what you loved about your dog in a different way. Look for what is there, not for what isn't. We're so conditioned to think of things as forms, and are so distracted by them sometimes we don't actually even get to know a person until after they die.

People love to do a lot of things. People like to compulsively eat ice cream but that doesn't make it a wise decision. Would you feel guilty about giving people advice on how to get the best deals on ice cream? Would you feel like that was a good use of your time?

Women commonly get cervical cancer as a result of having multiple partners as a result of being infected with HPV. That's why the HPV vaccine was developed but that only helps younger generations. We still don't know for sure how safe that vaccine is and many parents still don't vaccinate their girls and boys. Having casual sex is almost never worth the risk for a woman. It's not just that her friends will think she is a whore, she is actually engaging in reckless behavior taking in account everything. The views of sex and the normalcy of hookups that our stage orange society has is absolutely mad and ONLY favor men, even if it's sometimes sold as empowering for women, it's not. If men actually care AT ALL for women they would intend to have long term sexual relationships or have no sexual relationships. Anything else just perpetuates real risk, frustration and misery for everyone involved. Just because technology and medicine has come up with a few terrible bandaid solutions to a few of the risks women incur by having casual sex, does not make things equal.

Yes but reading the signs isn't nearly as powerful as appreciating the sky, moon, stars and planets in dumb thoughtless appreciation and wonder.

The best tip I have for success is to talk about money often and make it a fun subject, dreaming for the future, making goals, enjoying your progress together, researching and discussing saving and investing strategies together. My husband and I both have strengths and blind spots in different areas, and are both fairly frugal but not excessively, so we are a good couple. In the past I usually got really worried about money easily and he would have to talk me down from that. I'm trying to learn to do that for myself. He graduated college in the worst of the financial crisis with a degree in a hard hit industry. I had lived with my parents and started a business that turned out well while he was in school. For the first part of our marriage I made a lot more than he did and paid for the down payment for the house, mortgage, wedding and most of the bills, then after we had kids I wasn't able to work as much and his income rose and he took over most of the bills. We just shuffled bills around as it made sense at the time. I have heard that the best thing to do is combine your money if you are married. We still haven't combined ours. I know that I'm neurotic about money so I don't want to monitor all of his transactions because I'll be tempted to nitpick. I also have a business and an independent streak and it motivates me to easily see how much I make.

I seem to have lost the sense of insight and the seer of the insight. I seem to have believed so many crazy things, I seem to have done many crazy things, and yet there is nothing or no one to decide what's crazy and what's not crazy. My best understanding is to say that my craziness in practice was mostly a fear of being seen by others as crazy. Eckhart Tolle's description of crazy makes sense again, only know I know that what resonated with me then was the tip of an iceburg, not just the floating sheet of ice. It's funny to remember how BEWILDERED I have been in the past when my reality doesn't match up with other people reality. And how ridiculously fucking simple the depth of this stuff is. Every insight along the way was "REALITY ISN'T WHAT IT SEEMS!!!" screaming the same thing. I guess it's fun going from every facet of the diamond as you see it. "OH, that one reflected pink and blue!", "oh THAT one was an image of the entire rainbow, who knew?" You can't see the whole thing at once. I'm not sure why, maybe because either it would break you or it would be boring. Last night we ran out of milk and my husband said something about it and I said "why don't you go buy yourself some milk?". I ask him frequently to go buy a gallon of milk for the kids as soon as we run out so I assumed that he would buy a gallon. He left the house, went out and drove back with a single serve bottle. For himself. I'm so glad I've done all the spiritual work, because I laughed and made several jokes, and dramatically showed my bewilderment but I did not beat him to death with it. My reality is not your reality. Duh. "There are as many different worlds as there are perceivers."- Abraham Hicks

Great! That's so funny, I was thinking about jack o' lanterns lately and how they are pointers. Empty shells, imaginary faces with a light from within.

Go outside and sit it a pile of dirt until you see the wonder of it and love the pile of dirt as yourself. Then you know the fabric of the universe itself is love and satisfaction. Then it doesn't matter what you do, grand plans or otherwise, success or failure, it's all fulfillment.

I do. I wonder if it's because we leave that space so often, we're like a dog owner who is gone all day, and Source is like a dog that is so happy to see us when we finally return, it jumps all over us, pins us down and licks our faces and can't contain its excitement that we're finally back to play with it. Maybe it would act up so much if we didn't leave so often, I don't know it's just a guess.

I still don't know the difference between setting boundaries, letting people know how I feel and asking for what I need and unconsciously magnifying and perpetuating problems. The ego strengthens the more attention we give it, the ego of the conscious person dictating how we should act, yet the word is conscious for a reason, how do you not watch the ego and see the effects of the ego without law of attraction inflating it up? I have an awful back and forth of seeing the beauty in the small, unseen, ignored things, and feeling indignant that they should be overlooked less. 120 years ago a man took a lot of money that he had made in NYC and built a mansion here on a hill. No one had ever seen a mansion before, and now they had one in the center of their very poor town. People looked at it and saw physically manifested before them a shining example of wealth and success. There were many different energies and intentions placed upon that spot, many dreams were given birth to there. Then it burned down and the spot was just a memory and trees grew up around it and people went there to get drunk and threw their litter all over it until they moved away to bigger brighter more prosperous places. It was never before a more magical place.

It's fully possible to carve out space, while having a very busy even chaotic life. In fact, having all that chaos will make you want that peace more than anything. The trap of materialism is not the desire for things and experiences, it's also the belief that in choosing not to have them you can trade or buy for yourself some higher state. It's the belief that some circumstance will make you happy. It makes no difference if that circumstance is some low level pleasure, a life or environment conducive to meditation or enlightenment itself.