mandyjw

Worrying about mistakes that ruin lives.

@Matt23 ? Not sure if this is helpful, but both my husband, father in law and my son all have a strong forgetful streak. They also can all think in some pretty brilliant and strongly focused ways few other people can. Everyone has their idiosyncrasies and gifts. If we all feel shitty about our flaws and forget to use the gifts, we miss the gift.

So if repression is as bullshit as depression, the the idea-ntity creates the experience, it's believing thoughts about you that don't resonate. People love to demonize religion and religion demonizes sex. However, both are just cutting themselves off from pleasure. The pleasure in sex, and the pleasure in religion are the same. Neither have anything to do with religion or sex somehow. Happiness is not caused folks. Oh Jesus. The intimacy we actually already share is already far more explicit than the most explicit, intimate acts, it's so explicit, it's hidden. Innocent. In no sense. It's not unfelt though. Sir Ender, I thought I wanted YOU. You, in your sexy suit of armor, kept tryin to get you out of it. I see now, I'm the gift and the giver. The armor and the seductress. I just de sire sir ender and that's the end of I. er.... I am the ender of the end. The ender never ends. TIMELESS revelations. You get to be a kid again, you get to be an adult and use knowledge to enhance the sense of wonder and appreciation. You are ever discovering the world, the unfathomably large, complex world, so wonderful, so magical it is ever expanding as you appreciate it. Like Sir Ender's... I'll never have the same connotations with surrender again.

Merry Christmas! Hallelujah!

Who pooped on the street? Why aren't I blaming the person who pooped on the street? Maybe the gut microbiome boost from the poop will help with the omnicron. Why am I blaming the antimasker? What about the bat that had COVID and spread it? What about the ________(some country's) government? What if omnicron turns out to be far milder than delta and it somehow ends up being beneficial over harmful? If you can overthink germs, I can overthink germs too. But that's not what we're trying to accomplish here. Should everyone be uptight and uncomfortable all the time? There's a balance, there's no point that's a perfect balance so people disagree all the time of where that balance is. I wear masks most of the time because that feels like the right choice, I respect other people because that feels good, I wash my hands because that feels right, and I can not care what someone thinks of my choice to put my feet up and relax because that feels good. That's your right. Do I want people to be uncomfortable and uptight or do I want them to be relaxed? Do I like being around people who are uncomfortable or uptight or do I enjoy people who are relaxed and having fun? Do I prefer to be anxious or relaxed? Can I be considerate of others AND enjoy myself where I am?

You're actually jealous of them for feeling like, KNOWING, that they belong where they are. You are worthy of being where you are. You are free to be yourself. At all times.

Do you ever feel like you're taking up space, out of place, don't belong, or worry a lot about inconveniencing people?

@Shin You can certainly avoid women on youtube, Discord and this forum though.

Love is easier than easy though, so its not as much work as you'd think. For example, appreciating my hubby and letting go of expectations and judgements is waaaaay easier than exhuming Hitler's body.

?❤

Yes but those are all limitations. Imagine if she learned to love saying I love you and you loved the gifts, but no one really NEEDED any of it. When I consider my love languages they are the same as how love was shown growing up. Quality time was HUGE, it was a strong point in my family. Gifts were not at all, even thought of as shallow. My parents almost NEVER exchanged gifts, ever. So if a guy got me flowers, I'd only be pleased with flowers he grew me or picked himself. If he spent money I was disgusted. So, of course, I married a man who is the buying flowers type. I had a hard time receiving material stuff. It was not a love language, it was just a blockage. Language is just a means of interpreting through. It is not the means of love itself.

Great thoughts, but I think the whole notion of "deserving" fosters the idea of value. Value is not an idea in the presence of love. Do you appreciate the other, or do you count the flaws? Beauty is the experience of looking on something and having no thought as to what is "wrong" with it. It's not that the beauty is inherent in objects it's that critical thoughts cloud our appreciation when we entertain them. Beauty/love is free of thought saying "not good enough." Have you noticed how different the Cheez Its look on the picture on the box, compared with the ACTUAL thing? Every moment is just a snapshot, a still frame in the mind. You don't want to eat the picture on the box. What's real doesn't have any frames. If I think in terms of lesser or greater, he'll still be a PICTURE of a Cheezit, even if I pick the best specimen and get him professionally photographed and framed in gold. I'd have gotten all confused about what I wanted. Yes, but that's because there's no other in love and love is alive, it never stays put, and doesn't need to become for itself or anyone else. Appreciating never stops becoming, it becomes more and more and more. If I take a snapshot of my assets and say "HERE IT IS, THE PERFECT CHEEZ IT! I've achieved it!" it's no longer appreciating. When you appreciate you become more, because you are already boundless. Love/appreciation same thing.

Well infinity is ungraspable, and numbers are all just little imaginary slices of infinity. So it's pretty numb to count on them that much, I'd say. You can count on me though! Just kidding, I'm a total disappointment. Unlimited Pi just goes round and round full circle. Where it stops, no one knows!

One is still a number. You came here to feel. You are an in divid ual, undividable. Mom said that we could split the last cookie if we did our homework without complaining, but the whole damn thing is Mine you asshole. I'm just kidding of course, there's no cookie.

Funny, when you write a novel, your character is what you KNOW, you focus on them, you come up with everything about them. You know their background, hair and eye color, etc. The reader is totally vague, you write the character FOR the reader, but you never know or determine exactly who that reader is, they might be anyone, they don't exist for you. But comparing the two, the reader is actual and the character is not. There aren't two.

For Harry Potter, there is darkness and loss, and joy, courage, love, friendship and happiness. For J K Rowling there are all of these and none of these, but all come out of and are of creative/love for a character/reader that is not. There is no Harry Potter. There is no J K Rowling. There is no neo advaita. I still love you though.

@Thought Art It's very, very good, sit with it a bit. I'll even translate it. When you wake up from sleep, holy SHIT, there's a world! There's even a body, which you think to be you and separate from the world. In order to KNOW it we use our senses, without thinking about them or knowing them as senses. We don't know smelling as smelling, all we know is, "The dog farted again, holy shit, I need to find a higher quality dog food." According to the eyes and sight, everything is seen, according to ear, everything is sound. To the ears, there is no sight, this is incomprehensible. Because each organ only knows its own domain, this is proof that what it's saying is false. The experience of all senses combined without question asserts that this IS. There is something. On closer examination, or rather when we question it and cease to just believe it to be, it is revealed as You, consciousness, awareness itself without object, not two. Funny that the nature of perception would call the highest quality meaningless and accuse it of being low quality, but since you create quality, there are no qualities inherent in themselves. But I still need to find a higher quality dog food.

Irrelevant. Love languages are actually limitations you've put on love. The concept is good in relationships, because they help to understand each other and help to let go of grudges and expectations for the other. For yourself it would be desirable to determine what yours are in order to recognize your expectations, let them go and be left with none. The less you demand love look a certain way or come to you a certain way, the more you recognize it everywhere.

The Empty Boat by Chuang Tzu He who rules men lives in confusion; He who is ruled by men lives in sorrow. Yao therefore desired Neither to influence others Nor to be influenced by them. The way to get clear of confusion And free of sorrow Is to live with Tao In the land of the great Void. If a man is crossing a river And an empty boat collides with his own skiff, Even though he be a bad-tempered man He will not become very angry. But if he sees a man in the boat, He will shout at him to steer clear. If the shout is not heard, he will shout again, And yet again, and begin cursing. And all because there is somebody in the boat. Yet if the boat were empty. He would not be shouting, and not angry. If you can empty your own boat Crossing the river of the world, No one will oppose you, No one will seek to harm you. The straight tree is the first to be cut down, The spring of clear water is the first to be drained dry. If you wish to improve your wisdom And shame the ignorant, To cultivate your character And outshine others; A light will shine around you As if you had swallowed the sun and the moon: You will not avoid calamity. A wise man has said: “He who is content with himself Has done a worthless work. Achievement is the beginning of failure. Fame is beginning of disgrace.” Who can free himself from achievement And from fame, descend and be lost Amid the masses of men? He will flow like Tao, unseen, He will go about like Life itself With no name and no home. Simple is he, without distinction. To all appearances he is a fool. His steps leave no trace. He has no power. He achieves nothing, has no reputation. Since he judges no one No one judges him. Such is the perfect man: His boat is empty.

I guess that's why they're called numbers.

He touched me! Ohhh.... HE TOUCHED ME.

Let her own her own pleasure. Feeling bad about it and trying to make something happen isn't a turn on. If you enjoy yourself, the moment and the connection and pleasure you do have, it will invite her to do the same.

Like 4201 so brilliantly pointed out, you can't play two roles at once. Are there actually two of you now, one that is disappointed in the other one? You got off on the wrong foot, as you said, you were awkward from the first line. That first line set the tone, you couldn't let go of feeling the offness of it, so you acted it out, rather than truly acting in the flow. How did it feel, was it enjoyable? You are STILL acting it out. You never stopped. Maybe the joy of doing a performance in the state of flow IS the flow itself, the joy is not a result of the performance, it is it. It is in itself what we are looking for. If we are too busy regretting the line we said before, we cannot say the current line with joy or in flow. The same thing is going on with your thoughts. Those lines are just thoughts. Your thoughts are just lines. So say the line you want to say. Writing your thoughts down can help when they get messy, because you have the intention when you write to write something that makes sense, to express what you're feeling for the purpose of letting it go from the mind, and your intention to feel better will win out. So write your lines and write them how you want them to be, each better than the last. The fear of judgmental thoughts and shame in the future is actually what creates performance anxiety, which causes us to think of and fear the potential future that isn't there, which is what botches the present performance because we AREN'T present at all, which then we regret because we're STILL not present. It's actually kind of funny how it works. We learn from contrasting experiences. The flow state of performance and the flow state of thinking when it's quiet and we are alone aren't different. Imagine how free and wonderful you'll perform now that you know that, now that you know you're practicing with every single thought. Also maybe you aren't really that character? Maybe you're such a brilliant actor you can show up for any character, simply because you aren't a character at all. Maybe this character you were assigned really was the right one for you. Maybe she has something to show you.

incarnate, meaning embodied in flesh. Are you embodied in flesh?

So while this is your experience and truth and I don't want to disrespect that, how does it feel to write/read/think those words? Might you write me a version of this that states how you intend to or want to experience emotion? What are the most beautiful, profound emotions, what do they feel like? How do you feel when you listen to music you love? How does it feel to drop a thought that feels bad or see that it is not so? If you drive 4 hours and think you forgot something really important you needed but realize you were mistaken when you find it, how does that relief feel to realize nothing was missing? You could say that every thought that feels horrible has behind it, a flip side of very strong relief, bliss even. Worth investigating. You have to get curious about it. Get playful, have fun with it. Curiosity is a special kind of stupidity that is prior to and foundational for knowledge. They aren't separate.