mandyjw

@Bazooka Jesus Have you discovered the one they recorded that was written by Charles Manson yet? I was creeped out for days about that. lol My parents were conservative Christians so they thought the Beatles were the devil. "Imagine there's no heaven..." BLASPHEMY. Super funny to me now. This is my favorite Beatles song now, super appropriate for this thread. It wasn't SUPPOSED to be about LSD, just inspired by his son's artwork. I believe he really was honest about that, but also there aren't any coincidences.

@Bazooka Jesus I've always loved that song. Lyrics are actually kinda funny backwards though.

Hmm... how updated? I'm still really skeptical. Seems like nothing good in my life has ever came from following the news or polls. It was such a roller coaster towards the end in 2016. Didn't seem possible that Mr. "You can do anything" would become the next president of the US. I thought I was watching the news to be educated and really it was just feeding my own naiveté, fears and wishful thinking... somehow all of those at once. Once bitten twice shy.

What was the context? Is he talking about arrogance or complacency? From just the sentence I think he's talking about arrogance. Abraham Hicks is absolutely amazing if you like Napoleon Hill.

I can tell you the story that I had the best childhood in the entire world or a horrifically awful one without lying to you either time. Your memories and the meaning behind them follow your mood, focus, intentions and what you imagine yourself to be. They are entirely fluid.

I made a video yesterday. It's weird how almost every time I hike that trail whether I make a video or not it's a trip. I really, really, really wanted some chanterelle mushrooms but haven't found any yet, but there was a patch of them on the trail and I came back and sauteed them with some kale and carrots from the garden. Today I worked on a new project and listened to a little more Jim Newman. He said that he feels that the teaching is about permission and even though I had heard that before it hit me and connected with a lot that I had been contemplating and feeling and an insight I had from making the video the day before. I'm always looking for permission to be ok, to be told I'm doing the right thing, looking for permission outside. The impulses to confess and the love for teachers, the hard parts of the relationships I've had working with people. The workaholism, the need to be debt free, be financially successful, the need for my art to sell quickly for me to enjoy doing it, the need to be thin, to be liked. The need to be "mindful" (...the fuck does that mean anyway?), the need to be enlightened, the need for other people to recognize this as such. I knew about survival and seeking security, but didn't realize that deep down what I was seeking was permission from Myself. I wanted permission both to be a somebody and permission to not have to be somebody. I wanted permission to go for my deepest and highest reaching dreams, to feel my most honest feelings and permission to let go of everything that is not the eternal now. I wanted permission to let go of the concept and "should" of the consciousness of the "eternal now" (...the fuck does that mean anyway?). Beware of taking so seriously words that start with P E R, perspective, permission, perception, performance, perfection, they all require a person.

@Don Wei I think your hair looks great now, it still looks good with the buzz cut except for your obviously miserable facial expression. You're gonna do awesome. Honestly, in my opinion the only thing you have working against you if anything at all, is that you're only 18. So much of "masculinity" and just general confidence comes with experience, especially if you're conscious about the experiences you seek out and eager to learn and grow by observing yourself and others. One of the traps we fall into when we're really young (or older ) is thinking too much about ourselves and worrying about how others see us. Everyone is so busy doing that that no one actually pays much attention to anyone else. It can be really enlightening to observe others and those thoughts about yourself without judgement or self-consciousness.

My first birth was a bit traumatic, but I got more into mindfulness when I had my daughter and weirdly enough the nurse who helped deliver was named Karma. She told me her dad had been a marine and had no idea what it meant, he just thought it sounded really pretty. I feel like hospital births are extreme and home births are also extreme and there need to be more options in the middle. But that's a whole nother subject. Awesome! I have done that video before, it's really good. I've also found bellydancing to be really helpful.

There can be no such thing as transcendence if there's no longer anything to transcend. I think they need to be understood both as separate yet ultimately one and the same.

Problem is no one can agree on them and it's make it up as you go. Life is more like Calvinball and less like basketball in my experience.

Which was Mary Magdalene?

Dress shirts suggest the fun of unbuttoning them, keep the jeans though. More James Dean.

Osho checked off all those boxes AND painted his fingernails.

Just my personal opinion, I think you're attractive, masculine and I like your style but if you're hair was shorter and all dark, it would read as more masculine, in my opinion. But I've always liked really short hair on guys, so maybe get some other opinions before changing anything.

It helps to imagine that you have friends in high places. They are essentially just you of course but, you do. You are both the character in the mind of the author and also the author. The character exists within imagination and does not actually exist. This has been the case all along. So letting go of the character really feels like taping into greater guidance and intuition about how this whole story is unfolding. You've actually lost something, not gained it but it feels more like gain.

I kinda recently realized that all the stupid little things I like to do just because, I can now freely do and actually enjoy because I'm not judging them and myself for being stupid little things so much. I don't know if that makes any sense but it feels amazing.

I've tricked myself into allowing myself to be a crazy (happy) bitch.

Your photoreceptors in your eyes are translating the light from your computer screen into electrical signals going from your eyes into your brain. Super exciting. Everything else is your imagination. Oh wait, the pixels, screen and photoreceptors are just imagination too. Your welcome.

Am I an actual object or not an object? If I get offended by other bodies and other bodies preferences for those bodies didn't I just objectify myself? Isn't everything kinda fake? I dunno.

@Gesundheit Hmm, guess I'll never know God then. I can never know that I'm dead. Can't even really know that I'm alive either. Maybe there is know God.

@Gesundheit What about artists who are so passionate about their art that they'd rather go hungry than stop creating? Isn't that a pure expression of God?

Not sure if it's stage green exactly, but this podcast which is really explicit btw, (NSFW) is also mind opening in a different way. It's the opposite scenario of the interviews where the prostitutes are forced into the lifestyle or don't have anything better to choose.