machinegun

@Monke @Ishanga @WillCameron Wow, I wasn't expecting to get so much support from everyone. I thought I would have to try really hard to defend my position. I live in America, and was most recently a college student. What's your status in college? Being on the football team, being in the top frat. I really wish I had learned to play football and been a good QB. That would have done wonders for my self-esteem and confidence. I probably wouldn't be searching for a job because people would be fawning over me. Yes, I also feel like I need to be able to "burn through that karma" to be able to move on, but what I will say is that status games can be played at a stage green level as well: I've noticed how some libs love to flex how great of a person they are, how woke they are, how they wouldn't dare to certain things etc. I think it's really performative and to show off to other libs how committed they are, but it's such bullshit- it's a performance to flex on other libs. I guess this is why Leo Gura believes socialism can't be, and humans are inherently capitalistic- because there's always a hierarchy when it comes to humans. In stage green, it's who is doing the most "good" for the world. I think for as long as I live, I will have to abide by their rules of what constitutes status, or else people won't respect me, listen to me, or want to be around or seen with me. And, I have to abide by those rules because I care about being a part of society. The problem is I can't fully intuit what these people value and how to structure my life accordingly.

Just sharing a new insight as someone who was raised in a green city, now living in a very orange world. I always thought what mattered most was being a good person, and it isn't. It's status. I always thought that if I were a good person and everyone else recognized me as a good person, then my life would go well. It's pretty much the exact opposite. I'm a social person to an extent. I care about other people, and I want their love and admiration. Even before my realization, I wanted status. I'm a young guy- just graduated from college and have been unemployed for coming up on 4 months. The worst people in college- rapists, assholes, psychopaths. THEY'RE THE ONES WHO GET ALL THE GIRLS AND JOBS!!! Happy to explain my new 'philosophy' further.

@Yeah Yeah @Leo Gura I'm in the exact same situation where I want to kill myself. And, I was going to post on the forum to ask for permission when I saw your post. I guess Leo is saying that there are no clear rules on whether or not we're allowed to kill ourselves? I haven't explored spirituality that much, but it seems as though other people are saying (I think you as well have said that our "post-life" review will be bad, or that we will have to face the same problems again in our next life. I have no idea what these things mean; maybe if someone else could dumb it down. I guess I want to ask how you guys know these things, and is this a common consensus on this forum?

Maybe I’m just stage blue, but where are all the decent people? I feel like our ancestors lived by principles, values, and honor. What I see being rewarded (over and over again) is frauds, scammers, and liars. These are the people everyone looks up to, respects, and wants to be around. I feel stupid like a clown for living true to values. I know that if I were less conscious and less empathetic, I could live a life where I could take advantage of people, lie, and hurt people- and I wouldn’t feel bad about it. I envy people who can do that. Instead, I am alone most of the time, I can’t relate to other straight guys, and I don’t get laid. My life sucks because I can’t lower myself to their level. I’m not like Leo; I need people to be happy- I want true friends and a relationship. And, other than that, I want to have lots of money and be successful and respected. I don’t know if I can accomplish my goals because of the blockage caused by my values. Where do I go from here?

@Sugarcoat I think what is difficult is that the kids I go to college with do not share any of the same interests as me (like travel, or going out which is surprising for college age kids) nor do they have any sort of drive in their lives which makes me not able to respect them. Of course I would befriend someone if we had interests in common, but the problem is they are simply not motivated to get out of the house and do shit. I can't say I know much about Sweden, but if you're anything like me the goal wasn't to be a social guy in college- the goal was to find a group of lifelong friends.

@Sugarcoat my school is known to be socially dead. My attempts to socialize with my classmates didn't go very far. In all my socializing I wasn't able to find my people, and I wasn't able to connect with anyone. I don't think I understood them, and I don't think anyone understood me either. It was a very bizzare experience. When I studied abroad I found people I connected with, and so I made friends, but they are there and I am here.

I need human relationships to be happy, and I have otherwise been unsuccessful at building friendships in college. For the past couple of years, I have felt like I have no hope for making new friends because I wouldn't even know where to look. I know there are things like social clubs for adults, but it feels very forced. Where can I go or what can I do to make friends?

Wow. Thank you for the detailed resources

Thank you

@Creatorbeing I don't understand everything you said. But, I gather that you advise me to find people based on my ego level. To answer your questions I'm looking for equals I'm looking for a friend group comprised of men and women- but, purely for friendship purposes ( I don't know if that would be possible from your point of view) My interests revolve around living a good life, which for myself requires having a community- motivated, ambitious, smart people: stage orange/green- leaning more toward green Is your hailmary solution that I become rich first? Thanks for responding

I can't stop thinking about how I'll have no friends after I graduate from college. Where do you find a community of like-minded people? Isn't college the best community-building place on the planet?

He hasn't posted in a while, did I miss something?

So where would you recommend I get started

To be honest, I'm not very into the spirituality side of actualized.org, yet. So, I would like a book reccomendation- preferably a book on the book list that could heal me. But general advice is welcome as well. Here are some things I do not express my authentic self because I want others to perceive me in a certain way look down on people who I think are less than me (social status, smarts, looks) constantly worry about how other people view me a strict refusal to not engage with people who I think are less than me a strict refusal to do/try anything that is looked down upon (ex. anime) I didn't major in business in university because people on the internet would make memes about how the major is cringe As a result, I'm a half-way "actor" everyday and miss out on lots of great people and experiences. Internally, it makes me feel bad about myself to categorize other people as "losers" or "beneath me". Thanks guys.

Is it me or is the LPC complete ass. It's unnecessarily long as fuck, and most of the videos are expendable. I came to learn one thing: my life purpose. It's probably important to know my values, fears, and whatever. But, even those areas are murky for me at best if you are to follow directions and contemplate values, fears, etc. for the recommended time. Most of the exercises don't tell you anything about yourself at all and are a complete waste of time. I feel like I would have been better off if I just thought about my life purpose for 3 hours instead of watching years of all these boring-ass videos.