machinegun

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About machinegun

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  • Location
    So Cal
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    Male

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  1. @Stovo I'm not saying he's anything, but it's a mystery to me why he chooses to live in Las Vegas of all places. @gettoefl Thanks
  2. @Stovo @Preety_India I don't really get the impression he's in the market for friends. Leo strikes me as the kind of guy who wants to do his own thing, alone. After all, his whole world is online. Also, Las Vegas was built by the mafia, and is mostly known for gambling and prostitution. At worst the people there are stage red; at best they are orange. Stage green people do not move to Vegas, they avoid it.
  3. In his stage orange video Leo talks about how being in a more natural environment will make you more spiritual because it makes you more connected to earth. He then goes on to criticize people for living in metropolitan areas like Tokyo and London for going against their human nature and living in a concrete jungle. But, this dude literally lives in Las Vegas. Why is that
  4. @Bando Rather than weakness I think I'm a rather ditzy character. A lot of times I'm unintentionally funny because I lack awareness of my surroundings. This leads to roasting. It's a hard life
  5. @Chew211 Fetish is a good way to put it lol @RendHeaven YES. My idea of building a friend group revolving around our unique missions isn't my idea (it's from a book called way of the superior man). I feel as though the killer mentality which brings forth emotions like ambition and passion, is the true embodiment of masculinity. This is what woman are attracted to, and it also makes men feel good about themselves. However, if you're very emotionally vulnerable like me this emotional state is very hard to maintain. When I get roasted by others it de-thrones me, and I feel more and more shitty about myself. Until I can figure out how to make it stop, I will never be the person I want to be.
  6. @Chew211 I'm very jealous of people who are naturally the leader, as if god had the grace to just appoint them to lead. They lead naturally, and they have a powerful aroma at all times. How is it possible to accomplish this?
  7. I'm pretty bad at making friends. I've only ever had one real friend. The friend groups I have been apart of have all designated me into being that one guy who's always getting roasted. In my past, I prefered one-on-one friends or female friends. But, at my core I'm masculine. I want other male friends who are like-minded and whom I can talk about my mission with. Previously, I've been on the bottom, I want to reverse that. (Resources?)
  8. I recently watched a Bojack Horseman episode where one of the characters said to Bojack, "is it possible you don't want to know yourself, or know others?". This spoke to me. Over the past couple of years, I've improved my self-esteem to the point where I have moderate to low social anxiety. And, I have confidence when it comes to certain things, like attracting girls. I feel as though that I'm a stranger to myself, and the relationships that I have with others only skim the surface of what they could be. The conversations with the "friends" I had at school were very shallow, usually small talk and then conversation about events or other people- otherwise known as boring and unfulfilling conversations. I'm not looking for a commenter here to solve this problem, because I think this points to more deeper psychological issues. I would like for someone to share a resource which would help me overcome this problem. P.S. I was bullied throughout middle and high school, and I didn't feel loved by my mom growing up. The bullying especially brings me great shame, and it feels like I'm lying to others when I don't tell them about what happened.
  9. I never got into it because of twins who are born on the same day and have polar opposite personalities. Also, I don't like the idea of how the month you are born in explains EVERYTHING about your personality.
  10. I just had this realization while eating the new BTS meal that came out. You have to turn your mind off to enjoy it.
  11. I've been doing the same for the past few days. No reply from my crush :(. She's pretty popular, so I may not get on her feed for tinder, but if she saw me I feel like she would match. Oh well. I'm taking the day off today, because I felt like it.
  12. I followed the schedule as usual today, except drinking a gallon again, (I did it yesterday, though!). I saw my elementary school crush on tinder today, so I'll let you guys know how it goes. Hopefully, we will match.
  13. I've been doing the same for the last couple days I decided not to post a schedule every single time. I slacked off a little today, and didn't do the 30 min notes, and didn't fully do the 1 hour awareness, I was on my phone convincing myself I was aware whilst on my phone. But, it was the weekend so I'm not gonna be too harsh about myself on that. Oh, and the gallon of water I didn't do, but that's everyday. Tomorrow is my elementary school reunion, I may have to vent here tomorrow, but at least talk about it some.
  14. Today, I was 1 or 2 glasses away from drinking a gallon. The first day I did an hour of not moving pretty easily, (I moved my neck a few times to look at the timer). Today, it was pretty difficult to finish, and my body ached badly for a few hours. Same shit tomorrow: 30 min walk 10 min cold shower 1 hour mindfulness meditation 1 hour awareness meditation 20 min of reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida 30 min of using a white board to teach an imaginary class what I just learned (this is one of my methods I use to study for school. It's rly good and I highly recommend. Drink 1 gallon of water 1 hour of being creative 1 hour of no moving meditation
  15. I remembered that I hadn't remembered to update, when I was in bed, and I didn't feel like getting up. I did everything except drink a gallon of water, again. I always forget to drink three glasses in the afternoon. I realized I have been putting 20 min of reading on here, when in I have been reading 30 min everyday. I'm very annoyed by how slow I am at reading, I usually only progress around 2-4% of the book each day. It's pretty dense and I take notes, but holy fuck. I'm trying to read other books this summer too. 30 min walk 10 min cold shower 1 hour mindfulness meditation 1 hour awareness meditation 30 min of reading The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida 30 min of using a white board to teach an imaginary class what I just learned (this is one of my methods I use to study for school. It's rly good and I highly recommend. Drink 1 gallon of water 1 hour of being creative 1 hour of no moving meditation I'll update later today too.