Become so good they can't ignore you.

@Gili Trawangan Not judgy, just looking out for the safety and emotional wellbeing of a young woman.  When I was 19 I slept with a guy in his 40's.  It was fun.  But we were all upfront and there was no dishonesty from the beginning.  That's where the concern is.
That is SO perfect.  "YoYo".  You could market that!!!  That's an unknown slogan that needs to be out there, it sums it all up so succinctly.

Only use 3 labels: see, hear, feel.
Everything will fall under those labels.
Smell and taste will just fall under feel.
Do not invent anything new. This is not an exercise in creativity or thinking. The point is that it forces your mind to focus and be mindful.

Hey, welcome
That was your big mistake. Your dose was 5x too high.
Yes, yes, of course. I told you reality is just imagination.
Of course it's all true, the only problem is that you jumped in too deep too fast and your ego isn't properly integrating it.
There is nothing bad about reality being imaginary. This is the best possible news. You just have to learn to appreciate it and accept it.
You CAN handle it. There's no other choice.
You're not in hell, you're in heaven. Stop giving these experience negative meanings.
Since you are God and you are imagining reality, whatever you imagine will become real for you. If you imagine things are bad, that's how life will feel. If you start seeing the goodness in everything and everyone, then life will become amazing.
Your ego is just over-reacting. Stop buying it's negative stories.
If life is meaningless, when why are you giving it just negative meaning?
Stop struggling and just surrender to the simplistically and beauty of the present moment and of reality being imaginary.
Just take it easy, distract yourself with something fun, go enjoy nature or a TV show. After a few weeks these trips will leave your mind and you will calm down.
All that happened here is you had a bad trip. Forget about it, walk it off, and in a month you will hardly remember it even happened.
This is what happens when you disrespect the power of psychedelics. Your dose was 5x too high. That's all.

Go to a restaurant  they give you some of the most unique and useful skills and experiences anywhere!
As a hostess/server, you really learn how to be humble, because no matter how shitty the customer, they are always right. That is a pretty important thing to be able to handle. I've had all kinds of experiences lol from a guy throwing a pager at someone because of the wait to someone accusing me of sitting all the "black people" before him. The world is filled with crazy people and we need to be able to deal with them in order to really make it far. 
Also, the restaurant gig is great for making awesome connections. I worked in one of the top restaurants in my city and it was centrally located down town, so we got A LOT of regulars that were business owners for the big companies and Law Firms in the area. Because of my serving job, I met a great man that stole me away to become a receptionist for a pretty great Law Firm in the area
I truly do think that servers have the crappiest job out there because of the bad guests, but if you can survive that, you can survive anything! The good guest will always recognize your work and it will pay off if you just work hard and push through

@EternalForest It's actually not that hard to get a good job.
But it requires that you offer value to the employer rather than being a leech.
What job do you want? What skills do you have? Are you showcasing your skills well with a portfolio?
These days training yourself and building skills is easier than ever. You must train yourself and then show evidence to your employer of your skills and your willingness to learn further on the job.
Building a great portfolio is a MUST as far as I'm concerned. With a great portfolio you will eliminate all your competition.
People being more experienced than you is not a significant factor because those people also demand a higher salary. Employers are always looking for people with low experience because they need people to do grunt work and those who will work for lower salaries.
You are not competing with people with 5-10 years of experience. You are competing with people who have 1-2 years of experience, which you can provide for yourself. "Experience" does not have to mean that you were a salaried employee during that time. Experience could mean: you working on a project in your mother's basement.

https://phys.org/news/2010-02-human-behavior-percent.html

"Human behavior is 93 percent predictable, a group of leading Northeastern University network scientists recently found."And both of these thoughts are in line with something Napoleon Hill suggested 80 years ago in Outwitting the Devil, that 98% of people are controlled by external forces against their real and true interests.

"With two days of data, basically all human behavior is predictable. It turns out that people do the same thing EVERYDAY" -Charles Isbell
"92% of what we worry about is NON ESSENTIAL" Earl Nightingale
https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/11362246/Just-three-in-10-people-feel-happy-with-their-lives.html
Researchers find 69 per cent of people feel trapped in the same old routine and over 40 per cent are unhappy with their lives
https://www.swnsdigital.com/2017/02/80-of-americans-admit-to-being-stuck-in-a-routine/
80% of Americans Admit to Being Stuck in a Routine
 
https://www.heartbeatservices.org/hope-floats

Back in the 1950’s, Curt Richter, a well-known Harvard graduate and scientist with Johns Hopkins University did a series of rather unorthodox experiments using water, buckets and rats that resulted in an amazing discovery. He wanted to see how long rats could swim before they drowned. Cringe-worthy no doubt! So you ask “What’s so amazing about knowing how long it takes for a rat to drown?” Bear with me for a bit longer…

Richter put rats into large buckets, half-filled with circulating water. Being notoriously good swimmers – the rats lasted about 15 minutes before giving up and succumbing to the depths of the bucket. Not impressed – I wasn’t either. All I was thinking was “Poor rat!” Richter must have read my mind.

In a follow-up experiment, as the rats started to give up and sink, he pulled the drowning rodents to safety, dried them off, gave them a brief period of rest only to put them right back into that same bucket. Here comes the amazing part – those same rats now swam for an average of 60 hours – YEP – that’s six with a zero or two and a half days.

A rat that was temporarily saved survived 240 times longer than one that was not given any intervention.

Richter’s conclusion: that saving a rat from drowning – even temporarily, gave that rat hope.

I have worked for a political party (the opposition), international organizations and have done grassroots work in my country and outside, hence, I can tell you what I think:
I have had the best experience of my life. I have learnt so much, interacted with so many people and the very reason that I got into spirituality is that I saw so many people who look like me, talk like me, have the same sensory organs, but have little authority over their lives. It gets you thinking, you know?
The politician I was working with was a very sweet man. He had been an academic previously, and had joined politics with the idea of making change. He was not egoistic and was extremely humble. He, however, told me one thing: that I need to cultivate thick skin if I wanted to go all-in with the idea of making lasting change in this field. I am still working on it everyday. You are actually very lucky, Hussein --- you have this knowledge at a meta-level, on spirituality, human relations, at this point in your life, even before entering this field. I would be so happy if I had known this in my teens, especially through those 'growing' years. 
I have seen people from all walks of life --- have attended these high-profile political meetings and parties, have seen crippling make-shift homes where people do not have proper fuel to cook their food, have seen the campaigns and how the 'other' people treat these politicians, and then, I have known these people in person --- all this brought me to my first conclusion in life --- we are all the same, and certain survival-based models create an illusion that we are different. 
I have met corrupt, egoistic, classist, xenophobic, misogynistic people. But then, I have met very nice, extremely devoted people who are passionate about what they do. The best ones I have met are academics now turned into politicians, after having done commendable grassroots work. Try to work with such people if you can. The few I have known are there for a genuine reason. They will not disregard you if you have bad grades. They are good people readers, and if you touch them and provide value (figuratively, haha), they would be glad to have you, and will serve as your mentors. Also, having mentors in this field is very, very important. 
If I can advice you on something, and it's just because I have been in a similar position --- it's the bottom-up approach.
Work from the ground-levels to the top. Intern, volunteer or work at the grassroot levels, gain a thorough understanding, get an education in this field, and then work at the top tiers. It will be worth it. Your grades do not matter, believe me. It is your passion and the value that you are brining to the table. Also, by working at the grassroots you will learn how to master your emotions. Sit down, talk to these people for real. Ask them about their lives, regrets and hopes. Hussein, you will thrive in this field, and will make a difference, for sure.
Also, do not believe any one easily. Do the research yourself. Osho's is also an opinion. I am not going to argue if it is  a well-formed one or not. I would like to tell you that it is subjective. 
Train your mind and heart at this stage of life. I am going to repeat it again, cultivate a thick skin, but do it not as a survival mode, but through deep understanding of why everything is where it is. I am working in a corporate-political field now, and every day, I learn something new, but it is easier now, since I started doing spiritual work. The thrill you get when you give ideas that really work and make a difference, working on those speeches, getting to know many people, communicating --- if this what you enjoy --- welcome to this field. You will love it. Watch Leo's videos, read many books, know that you are God, and believe me, you won't stop smiling through it all.
I can tell you today that these experiences have laid a very strong foundation for who I am today. Also, it may take sometime, but with the right people you can actually bring about change, and cultivate great like-minded relationships.
You seem young. I highly recommend that you try it. I got into this field at the age of 18 --- volunteer work, internships, education and then actual work. Did my bachelors and masters in this area, and I do not regret it one bit. 
I am a woman in this field; there are some additional challenges that I have to face, that you do not have to. 
Some day, I will walk out of it to hone my other artistic passions, but until then, it will be a fun ride, I hope. Do not get influenced easily, work with all your heart, and know why you are doing what you are doing. 
Do not ruin your relations with people, do not invade into their spaces unnecessarily, and even if you find some person who is unkind, go on to another, and you will find someone who deeply resonate with.
Also, about assassinations and threat to life --- who are we kidding? Are we even sure that we will make out of bed alive tomorrow, or walk out of that pavement safely? 
@Husseinisdoingfine
 
 
 
 
 

Sleep
The quality of my entire life is dependant on the quality of my sleep. I need to find a solution for my sleep problems.

This would have the opposite effect. Iranian nationalism would flourish and the existing stage Blue gov would gain massive support if any outsider attacked Iran.
You cannot fix internal developmental problems by attacking a country any more than you can fix a child's bad grades by attacking him. When you attack people, they regress.

Consciousness decides everything.
Suffering without consciousness will create a irredemable monster. Suffering with consciousness will create a saint.

Seems like your life is missing a deeper purpose. What's your greatest vision for your life? What are you going to do? Why are you here? How are you going to help humanity, the animals, the planet? 
Do you have a dream that makes you cry when you think about it?.....Out of fear (because you don't know how you're ever going to achieve it) & out of joy (because it is so grandiose) at the same time? 
Or do you waste your time trying to persuade everybody that life is shit and that it is pointless because everything is one and nothing makes sense? 
Be careful not to fall into zen devilry with this sort of mindset. Find your greatest passion in life and channel all this unused energy into that. Don't rest until you have found it. 

Its pretty ugly, too lazy to change it right now. 

Osho does this because Osho is Indian and he is speaking from an Indian perspective. 
In India politics is extremely dangerous and full of extreme corruption, you name a malpractice, it happens in Indian politics. 
I won't blame Osho at all for having such a negative opinion on politics. Millions of Indians suffer because of pathetic stage Red politicians running the country and anyone who protests is either sent to jail or the mob comes knocking at their door. 
The politicians in India have a strong cults by bribing people to keep them voted and elected. 
Osho is extremely wise and he is right that it's an insult to dogs because dogs are very faithful. 

Politics is dirty business. But the alternative is worse. You can't have a society without politics.
The solution is Conscious Politics and raising our collective level of development.

Spread your conceptual awareness as far as possible. Always be on the lookout for valuable knowledge, information, and topics. You don't have to deep dive into everything but be aware of it, know what is it, know the fundamentals, etc. (up to increasing levels of understanding based on its relevance, quality, and value). You never know where you will find value. For example: Aim to just be aware of PewDiePie Aim to study developmental psychology significantly Do broad research, considering multiple sources Consider Google, YouTube, Reddit, Bing, Quora, Forums, Actualized.org Forum, 4Chan, Darkweb, Books, Gurus, Mentors, Other People, Discord Groups, etc. Find keywords that are high quality For example: "ultimate guide", "infographic", "list of" Find and collect the key sources that are gold mines For example: Actualized.org (for a plethora of things) Real Social Dynamics (for social skills and game) Learn the crucial skills on how to research, learn how to skim, how to read effectively and efficiently, how to take notes, etc. before investing a great deal of time in research For example: Learn to skim effectively, absorbing only the most crucial information and going more in-depth based on importance

Yeah, keep this in mind then, next time.
Until both characters aren't revealed, just assume your relationship is still on a test, and don't let yourself excessively thrilled.
Another thing, narcissistic tend to dislike Truth. If you ask them deep question while you guys are getting to know each other, you might also dig the dirt.

Mary Trump on Trump's loss. This is one intelligent woman. 
She says Trump will never be able to accept the election loss. Mind-blowing. 
 
Guys lol watch this. 
And no matter who you side with, this video is so cute and funny. 
 

Use the money you make to invest in your passion until your passion becomes the source of your money.

Become a Spiral Wizard.
Read the SD book.

I hope Leo the best with his health! He seems happy but dog-tired.

Hola Amilcar!

Well, I can share my experience.
About 10 years ago, going to a "transpersonal psychology" course in a school I discovered the Fourth Way. I began to study Nicoll 1 ("Psychological Commentaries on the Teaching of Gurgjieff and Ouspensky") but I was not convinced about the way they organized the class, the topics and readings, very confusing. I didnt feel confortable and I left.

But the Nicoll's book had already trapped me, and I did continue the readings by my own. My mind started to think with the ideas of the fourth way, and also during my psychology studies I realized I could understand much more with this perspective of the teaching in my mind.
Buddhism helped me, yoga helped me... yes, but it was something inside me that knew inside those books was something great yet to be discovered that at every time I began to read them again, something powerful started to shine inside. And buddhism or any other self-developement workshop that I did, was not so powerful as the content of the fourth way teachings (my personal experience, not saying that is objectively better)
 
I found another Fourth Way school, about some years ago and that was the begining of my self-transformation.

And now, I can tell you there are 2 different things involved. One is the teaching, as you can read them in the books, Gurdjieff, Ouspensky, Nicoll, and.. I can add other followers like Salzmann, Orange, etc. The other thing completely different is a Fourth Way school in our days.

It is simply because schools are made by persons like you and me or Leo perhaps that has so many years of self-developement, study and practice, and that produce the school goes in the direction that the director choose based on his own personal experience. So each school is a result of the level of consciousness of his master and are not for everybody.
 
My advice, as a monk with his kung fu master, that takes all he can learn from him until the point he really and deeply realizes is not learning much anymore from him and now the monk needs to continue the journey to new horizons.

Your post inspired me to make this one:
I hope it helps you. All the best!
 

take notes of what you consider most important

Ok, tomorrow starts "The New Day".
I'm calling it "Annie's Flea Bath" - cuz I have narc fleas.
I will try to change my thoughts to positive ones.  I know what space I need to move from.
I'm not gunna listen to any of that music btw.  I know poisoned bird seed when I see it.
It's tainted with sarcasm and pocket lint.  I have one here, fresh out of the oven.