Cherylann

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About Cherylann

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    Newbie

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  • Location
    Texas
  • Gender
    Female

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  1. Doesn’t sound sustainable. The shit will hit the fan.
  2. I’ve felt the same. More and more I try to just not say anything and keep it to myself. I normally regret it when I come off as cocky. It does depend on the audience.... for sure. I’m learning to just zip it... and listen instead. Unless I get the signal that they are interested in listening or that it might be fun. if I make a mistake, fuck it. i just use it as a learning opportunity. Better luck next time.
  3. Screw what research says. Haha. Have them or not. But, seeing yourself with Transcendental consciousness you can decide what makes sense for your particular human being. How can we take care of our humanness best. I’m working with mine and when she doesn’t know we go to mantra. Let go. And float. Until the answer becomes clear. If it doesn’t... keep gently floating using feeling moment to moment as your guide. Check in with your humanness.
  4. The latest video where Leo makes the statement that his work will have more impact than someone having a child seems off to me. You can not know that. I feel so much ego there. What if the child a person has does “something......”how can you decide what impact and measure how much impact and how can you judge that. I don’t see that. In Infinite mind set..... I would not feel comfortable making that statement.... on either side. You don’t ultimately know. I also see dogs making other impact besides fucking in creation. They create and set off change in many other ways. Through movement. Emotion. Maybe not one all humans can see but on subtle levels. Support. Guidance. They are trainable... so are we. Anyways.... im not trying to prove a dog or child’s worth. I’m just spraying thought. I’m typing on my phone and will be done typing with this one cute little finger. Thank you.
  5. @Lup18 awe, Thank you for saying that. I wish you the best on your journey as well.
  6. Also, he has an anger issue. He would always be difficult and ugly towards me. So, that can make a huge difference. (it went both ways) He wasn't violent. But, he would say hurtful things and then 15 minutes later be sweet. It was exhausting being on that merry go round. It wasn't always like that... but, it was repeating enough that I wanted off. I decided I to love myself. It didn't seem very loving to be around that any more..... Hopefully one day he will love himself.
  7. Yes. We are officially still married. I bought my own place a year ago. I have two young kids. We had a very similar story. Quick overview: I'm eccentric, spiritual, and artsy. He is into sports and TV. I am into eating healthy. He isn't. We were best friends. We laughed a lot. I was content for a good portion of our time together. I liked having sex with him. But, he would watch tv. I would read, meditate... I started painting. I tried to have deep discussions with him. They never went very far. He would cut them short immediately. It would make him uncomfortable. We grew further and further apart. He has a bit of a temper and I am wanting peace. It felt like being around sand paper after awhile. I felt alone and very disconnected. With kids and a full time job, I felt like I didn't really have time for a divorce. But, our patience for each other grew shorter. I stopped wanting to have sex... I wanted more. Now that I moved out, I feel so free. I paint, I made my home the way I want, I work on myself every night (the nights I don't have the kids or when I find time) I turn on my music and dance, do yoga, mediate, write poetry.... do whatever I want! It is still heartbreaking at times. We are still very much a part of each others lives. He lives close by and we talk several times a week about the kids. We do things together (had dinner tonight with the kids). The kids don't really know that we aren't "together". But, we haven't had sex in almost 3 years. I recently found he met someone in December. It hurt. But, I got over it. I want him to be loved. I want to love myself. So, after hanging in there for years... and years... 15 years... counseling, lexapro, and 2 kids later, I finally let go. So, now I'm immersing myself in self help and all of the things that I love. When I feel down or weak I might turn on a Leo video and get inspired again... I have a tool box to help me along. I feel super strong. I don't feel lonely. I have so much to keep me busy and there seems to be so much out there that I want to learn. I don't want to live a lie. The kids part can be challenging... but, I feel better for them. Or at least I feel like I'm growing myself to be the best I can be for them.... My goodness... I like talking more than I do typing. haha Also, my best friend died of cancer a few years ago. I sat with her body after she died.... She was my soul friend. The only one I could go really deep with. After she died I read the Bhagavad Gita and had a spiritual experience during and after a meditation. I was filled with this light energy. I felt like nothing could hurt me. All I wanted to do was love. I was love. (I am love. hehe) I remember not wanting the feeling to leave me. It was so amazing. I hope one day I can get that back again. But, I can't forget it. It changed me. I know there is more. I felt it. My connection to that is the most sacred and important thing to me. It was difficult for me to be with someone who had zero interest in sharing that with me at that time. I had to type this quickly. Peace & love~C
  8. I was in that same situation and I left.
  9. Exclusive has always been my desire. I'm not so sure anymore. It's hard to choose between a great #1 or #2 because I have never experienced either one... haha -nor have I become my "best self", I don't think the me that I am right now is "ready" to make that choice. I feel open minded. (what about disease, pregnancy....)
  10. I just did the sacral meditation and I loved it. Thank you