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About stefm5

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  1. I was exactly like you at 21. I was introverted and engaged in a religious cult. Back then i was thinking i will never taste a woman. I remained a virgin until 29. My life was constant suffering. Feeling unworthy, loser, ugly, almost hating women for not looking at me. When i left the cult i didn't have a clue how to approach a woman. It seemed the most difficult thing in the world. What helped me to break this reality was social networks. I started engaging with people and after some time i got closer to some women just by talking to them online. Long story short, at 44 and i'm still introverted but i've slept with many many women and the funny thing is that all of them thought that i was super experienced with girls. So if you can't go out and approach girls, which i totally understand, just start making many friends online and the rest will follow.
  2. seems to shallow for my taste. same applies for the other girls you mentioned. 'uncompromised non-duality' is just another story in the dream. the story also called 'end of seeking'. 'uncompromised' is a bias and identical to 'compromised'. that 'it' being aware of 'itself' is a duality, is two objects, has no reality. too much knowing about not-knowing could be a trick for avoiding not-knowing. seeking energy is not always about finding something different than 'this'. sometimes 'this' desires to know itself.
  3. Being raised as a jehovah's witness i was afraid that god will punish me if i didn't serve him the way he likes. I constantly felt that i wasn't enough as a person. I remember as a little boy sleepless nights because of extreme fear of the devil. Well all of these were thoughts i believed. My mind was brainwashed from birth. Thoughts became my reality. Don't believe your thoughts, just make fun of them and see/feel what is actually true. It is so rejuvenating
  4. sex as an activity is the same before and after spirituality. the only thing changed is your thoughts about it. 'never happened' is just a thought not an actuality. for example if eating 'never happened', stop eating or enjoying food or stop going to the bathroom. life seems to happen, so you are free to enjoy it without believing your thoughts about it.
  5. LOL

    jim newman in cartoon form
  6. is it faulty to say that your 'realization' about psychedelics is also part of the mind game? is there anything not being a mind game? why don't anyone try to find his way and just accept that it may be different than other's way? is it so hard not to be judgmental? if reality is this, everything is from this same substance including psychedelics, meditation, food, leo gura
  7. is a knife dangerous? it can slice bread and it can kill you. is water dangerous? it can hydrate you and it can drawn you. is a car dangerous? it can transfer you and it kill you. you see this logic almost applies to everything. it is often used to confirm biases. i'm happy mushrooms helped your mother. i wish my mother was open to this.
  8. "...that revolution comes through understanding the ways of the ego once you have understood that it is the same ego that was after money after power prestige politics the same ego is now playing inner games of meditation enlightenment and all that nonsense once you recognize it is the same ego in that very recognition a laughter arises in you you start feeling the ridiculousness of it"
  9. It is my first post here although i'm watching this forum for over a year. I did not want to post anything because i was tired of the silly debates about levels of awakening, permanent or impermanent, meditation vs psychedelics, ego fights. People here need to be more openminded and respect other’s experiences. There isn’t a natural path or way to awakening, because everything is natural, everything is the same substance. I feel that everything you imagine that helps you, it helps you. Meditation is imaginary as is a psychedelic. You need to understand that is useless to debate over personal concepts because you are brainwashed since your birth and it keeps happening through authorities. In reality there are no authorities. Not Jesus, not Budda, not Leo, or whatever name you imagine. Only YOU are authority, so train your direct experience. I watched the conversation between adeptus and that girl and i also commented. It was a low quality conversation. Instead of preaching the gift of life, their implicit target was Leo. They simply cannot or don't want to understand what is life and they're trying to prevent others from understanding. Adeptus is doing the same thing that he was blaming psymposia did to Martin Ball. Foolish games. I'm 43 years old and until my 42 i was deeply depressed. I was born in a religious family (Jehovah’s Witnesses), after years of struggling with the cult i became an atheist, then agnostic believing in science. Until an accidental normal dosing of MDMA (i was only micro dosing because i was too afraid) took away everything i was believing in life and all the depression forever. It opened my mind and i started watching videos about meditation (previous diabolic) and psychedelics (previous dangerous drugs). So i found @Leo Gura and i'm thankful because he helped me to change the structure of my thinking and find out myself who am i and what is real. I loved life again. Awaking is about loving life, loving the dream because there is nowhere else to go. If God wanted to be only nothingness, he wouldn't love this dream so much. Whoever thinks that killing himself is closer to God mode has bought into the illusion. Life is God right now. Zero and Infinity. Always protect and love yourself and your vessel, no need for mahasamandi or crazy amounts of psychedelics. Truth will find you one way or another, because you are truth. Debates do not help anyone because they serve ego agendas. You can be a great meditator or psychonaut and still be close minded because of your mind's structure. Open your mind. Thanks, Leo, for bringing this post up and i hope that this forum will become an awakening oasis.