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About Soumya

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    New Delhi,India
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  1. I did the most emotionally challenging thing today , read the newspaper and made notes out of it! I never made such good notes before Failing is not ok! I am determined to win. Period. I am going to put all my effort into one single thing for next 7 days - I will just read newspapers and makes notes. After I master it , then shall I make a move forward. Tomorrow's target - newspaper+notes !
  2. Negative emotions make me feel miserable as well as remorseful . I used to be very competitive before, but the fear of failure has crept in to me in such a subtle way ,and now my mind says that it's ok to fail. But it's not ok to fail , if you fail its just a reminder that you have not tried enough. It's just that you speak and don't act. Love might show you the right way but it makes me feel comfortable. Fear drives me to an emotionally uncomfortable zone , the fear of not achieving my goals , the fear of underperformance helps me understand where I am going wrong. When I set my targets and don't achieve them an uneasiness develops , the fear in me inspires me to perform well the next day @Electron - yes I need a negative motivation to achieve a short term goal , if I do well I might excel at it in a year or two. I understand that nothing can replace love!
  3. It's intense , I do not know what would it exactly trigger in you? But it triggers a remorse in me!
  4. There's certain things I have been doing wrong, though I am almost on track. My vision is myopic, a switch between macro and micro perspective is tough for me. This video on strategic thinking is absolute liberation and one of his best videos , thank you Leo ! I have been expressing fear over clarity and coherence? I relate it now. I will be a week away and be a strategic motherf*cker when I am back
  5. @Anna- watched the video. There's certain things I have been doing wrong, though I am almost on track. My vision is myopic, a switch between macro and micro perspective is tough for me. This video is absolute liberation and one of his best videos , thank you Leo ! You remember me expressing fear over clarity and coherence? I relate it now. I will be a week away and be a strategic motherf*cker when I am back
  6. Got up at 4:30 am , achieved 70% of my targets , tired today I suck at newspapers and note making! I will work at it mindfully from tomorrow onwards. completed two books in two days, they were easy to handle-> will revise them tomorrow Target for tomorrow - get up at 4 am , news paper + note making (4:30 to 7:00 am), class - 8 to 12 , revise well + read current affairs ( 5 hours of studies) Though I was able to pull in 7 hours of studies , I can do a lot better. I will bring more clarity into studies , I still self doubt . I can do a lot better - I am gaining momentum but I have to be more serious about it. It's now or never! There's a drastic change in me - I used to study for 2 hours a day , I pulled in 7 hours today. I have to work on focus and dedication! A single minded effort will bring in more understanding. I get exhausted very soon. I struggle to cope up with a restless mind.
  7. Thank you! I love the way you help me every single time. you are pure love
  8. Target achieved ! I nailed it - completed it well before time.. its going to be a peaceful night Timetable for tomorrow - Get up at 4 am , meditate , newspaper + note making, geography (book on our environment). It's tough to complete a book in a day , but nothing is impossible. With this level of hard work, everything will fall in place.
  9. It's Saturday morning! I got up late - 7:00 am I read newspaper - 7:30 to 9:30 am , talked to home for an hour. I was struggling within myself today to come up with a proper strategy! A strategy which is doable. I study well when I am alone, being away from home is a blessing in disguise. Moment of truth - I seek external suggestions from my fellow mates who prepare for the same exam as I do, before any conversation with them my mind is clear and still, but after the conversation my mind is turbulent. I self-doubt my plans and strategies. They suggest me to write mock tests. I have been running away from mock tests always. But they will prepare me for the exam, I cannot undervalue it's importance. I have to integrate them in my strategy for the exam. I will accept the fact that I have started my preparation quite late , but that should not be an excuse for my underperformance. Why mock tests bother me a lot? ->because I have not completed the syllabus even once -> what I will do ->study the basic books first->study the standard text books ->revise daily ->attend a test series ->assess my performance ->revise everything ->appear for my final exam I will define the pyramid and freeze my plans till July 2016, hence forth I will never ask anyone how to do it. I will never complain about my strategies and I will never judge them. Goal- To clear stage-I of the exam which is to be held on Aug7,2016 Strategy- (what to do ?)=> A 4 step process => READ->REVISE->TEST->READ+REVISE Targets - March 12 to April 12=> basic books + (newspapers + note making ) April 12 - May 30 => standard books + (newspapers + note making ) June 1 to June 30 => Revise and give tests +(newspapers + note making) (give tests frequently to fail frequently so that you succeed finally, live your fears ) July 1 to July 30 => Read less(20%) , revise a lot(80%) Process - the routines that are to be followed daily (I will update the to-do list and accomplished lists daily) Habits - I pull in 4 hours of studies everyday , but this level of studying won't help me to clear the exams->so I will pull in minimum of 9-10 hours of studies daily with out fail excluding the classes! Beliefs - The strategy I have set for myself will help me to accomplish my goals with ease. So, from this moment I will not focus on what and how it should be done, and start doing it. The exam is not easy but it's simple. Why this exam? I want a better life for myself , my family , my surroundings and the world ! ------------------------------------------------------------------------------- To - do list today (Risking my tonight's sleep) 1)newpaper + notemaking 2)Geography (Earth out Habitat )
  10. Hi! I get up early in the morning, I have sustained it for almost 15 days. What drives me to get up early in the morning is "negative motivation". I listen to songs and laments of the ones who had dreamed big but failed. The moment I listen to them I get attached to my goals emotionally. I am in a process of accepting failures , but then they are fine as long as I have given my 100%. When I put myself in the position wherein I have lost my dreams, goals and vision , a sudden surge of energy runs through my spine. I become aware if I am wasting time or being unproductive. It is helping me to be productive. It helps me to get out of my bed and think about my dreams , it forces me to study well and be focused. I have watched Leo's video on negative motivation vs positive motivation. I am using negative motivation and it has worked well for me . Am I doing it the right way? Share your thoughts please ! Thank you!
  11. Day was not ok, not great! I did set my targets for the day. I have given definition to the pyramid, but I need to rethink on it. I will do it in a day. Achieved 40% of targets, got up at 5am, completed one chapter economy, classes(8-12), had lunch and slept, studied from 4-6(2 chapters geography) Still to do newspapers and notes -will complete them anyhow today, why I find newspaper so tough ! I got to work on this, I am unable to consolidate notes while making them from newspapers. It's time taking! Missing home! Wish to be with family.
  12. Thanks @Anna, really helped me !
  13. @Derp I was facing the same , and I had been in that stage for about one year until I decided to change things last week You already have achieved a lot in life. You have a brilliant career , you have an amazing wife. There's this vacuum created ahead of you because -you want to progress in life, there's nothing wrong in it. But may be you first need to find out what do you exactly want to do! What exactly went wrong? Try questioning yourself , be aware of how you feel , what kind of emotions are generated. *One week back I started writing a journal in the forum, before that I was sure that I was in depression. But while I wrote my thoughts, I could understand what exactly was wrong. Why do I feel anxious, why am I so disinterested in things, what do I exactly want from my life! Since, I have started following a disciplined life style , I am connected with many positive things around me. I fail at things but I take it easy. I love myself and the fact that I am slow at things doesn't hurt me anymore. * *I had tried to end my life thrice, but I got a second chance. A brilliant second chance! Not everyone gets that. * You need to give yourself a second chance. You loved ones need you, not the insurance policy. Put yourself in their shoes. I am sure you know it all. Life requires more than knowledge. It needs intense feeling and constant energy, to make that knowledge come alive right action is needed. Like a young child ,freshly respond to each moment , without expectations!The truth is bitter ,but the truth is- everyone will advice you, you would love their advices , ponder over it for a moment, feel temporarily motivated, but again you will fall back in the emotional trap. Start taking some serious actions. If you lack clarity , reach out for help ! But keep it in mind, you have to do it all yourself. Start small , but start! If you can't run , then walk, if you can't walk then crawl but don't stop. The day you stop - life will happen to you ,and you won't make life happen to you! Believe in your self first, with courage and commitment every thing is possible. If your beliefs don't match with your habits then try to find out why! If your habits don't match with your strategies , make them coherent. Your vision->goal-> strategies-> plans->habits->beliefs all need to be in complete harmony with each other. "Be the change you wish to see in the world"- Mahatma Gandhi Take care!