Ulax

Hey @ThePoint, thank you. And you're welcome. My current understanding is that I think we can stop caring so much what other think of us by doing the following. Identifying what need/ needs the strategy of caring what other people think of us is trying to meet. For example, maybe safety or the need to belong. Then try to meet that need/ needs. I'll note that I am feeling confused because I want more understanding of how exactly to meet your own needs reliably. I personally think depth psychotherapy can be useful. Further, I've been finding value in Thais Gibson's free YouTube videos so far. I'm also aware that someone with that coping strategy might actually be in an environment where its a useful coping strategy in many ways. Hence, meeting the relevant need might require a real world change, i.e. leaving abusive household.

@ThePoint Okay. I'd recommend the following: - Learn how to meet your needs on your own (Note you can still request help from others in doing so, just keep in mind that they are allowed to not do so) - Learn how to change your attachment style to secure - Find other people with secure attachment styles that have similar values and interests to you, and connect with them. - Be wary of trauma bonding and learn about relationship red flags. If you still want to meet up with them despite red flags, then try and identify what need is being met by hanging out with them and try to meet that need in a healthier way. - Read the books 'Non violent communication' by Marshall Rosenburg, and 'The Social Skills Guidebook: Manage Shyness, Improve Your Conversations, and Make Friends, Without Giving Up Who You Are' by Chris MacLeod (this second one is useful, imo, regardless of your unconscious state of mind)

I haven't really explored the discographies of these folks. I like Jay Z tho. I'd say I am a hip hop fan. Not massively so tho. I really like Juice WRLD, and Kanye West. I've liked a few of Young thug, asap rocky and Lil Uzi Vert's songs too. Recently I really vibed with this: I really like this inclusiveness and vibes of that vid. Brought me joy too

@ThePointWould you like to hear my perspective? It may be what you've already heard from me.

@Federico del pueblo Brother I feel sympathetic. I want to try and help meet your need for respect. I will try to do this by guessing at what happened in the situation. So as to try and provide you with an understanding of the situation. The way I see the situation, which can only be a guess, is the following: This other man is living a life where he finds himself wanting a greater sense of ease in his life, and he is looking for some support and understanding in terms of doing so. Maybe too he feels that he isn't significant just as he is, and so he meets his need for significance by thinking his guesses about other people's situations are actually the reality of their situations. Hence, he makes a guess in his mind about what your situation is, and meets his need to feel significant by treating his guess as being true. So he translates his guess that you are taking advantage of the social system into a truth. He then realises that if he could take advantage of the social system in the way he thinks you do, then he could meet his need for understanding regarding how to be at greater ease in his life. Further, he may see you as a useful source of support in doing so. So, to meet this need for understanding and support he asks you the question about how you take advantage of the social system. So, from his side, it may well have been that he was simply trying to meet his needs for significance, ease, support and understanding. To me it follows that what he said wasn't really a result of who you are, instead it was a result of him trying to meet his needs in a way in a way that put him out of touch with the reality of the situation. Also, even if I am mistaken in my guess, I still think its nevertheless true that whatever he was doing was simply a way, based on his life experience and genetics, he was trying to meet his needs in life. Hence, whatever he said wasn't a result of who you are. Moving on to your perspective of the situation. From what it sounds like to me, you interpreted his communications in a way that led to you feeling humiliated because you felt disrespected and misunderstood. My guess being that in your culture, people learn that those who are seen to be taking advantage of the social system should be condemned and treated as lesser people than other citizens. So, to be mistakenly equated with people taking advantage is interpreted as meaning you now are vulnerable to being seen as a lesser person and vulnerable to condemnation. Does that sound accurate to you? I don't know you on a close level personally. However, I see you posting frequently on the forum and I tend to notice what I see to be traits of determination, perseverance and open minded in many of them. And I want to communicate that I respect that and has helped me to meet my need for inspiration and hope before. So, you have been significant in helping me live a better life before, and I personally value your presence on this forum.

Did you feel at great ease? An abundance of love towards things?

I disagree. It seems reasonable that someone who had a profound experience would want to share said experience with other people

Why do you say that?

How did you feel?

To my understanding, its because people unconsciously adopt shy behaviours as part of their coping strategy. A coping strategy being a strategy one unconsciously believes will best meet their needs. Where as because of different life experiences and maybe genetics non-shy folk do not have the unconscious assumption that their needs will be met best via shy behaviours.

@mamad Imo, unless you're remarkably strategic in what you do, whether you protest or not will make no difference.

I would get the book, 'Non violent communication' and learn the four steps. Then apply them to yourself in your self dialogue.

I'd talk to her about it rather than us. Maybe she'll help a uncover a need you are trying to meet in your constantly wanting to theorise. I.e. maybe a need for significance.

@Fuku Would you like me to make a recommendation to you?

Hey guys, this is a pic of me from work :) #WageSlaverySucks

In a way yes but in a way no. I see language as inherently arbitrary, so in a sense yes. However, I currently see all communication an being an expression of some met or unmet fundamental human need or needs. Philosophy is no exception. So its not just bs.

@Hardkill If any individual worked hard enough to afford healthcare then yes any normal individual could get healthcare insurance when didn't have one before. However, whether individuals work hard enough to achieve that aim is v dependent on government action. Responsible government should aim to take 100% responsibility for where each of their citizens end up. Humans have fundamental needs which they are constantly trying to fulfil. By virtue of life experiences and biology, people pick and change between different strategies for meeting those needs. Although it can appear so, this is not a conscious process. And many of these strategies are completely unsustainable. So for many people their needs meeting strategies will not align with working hard. Hence, no healthcare. So, unless government implements programmes to address and course correct individual's strategies that don't allow for hard work, many people will not have many of their needs for healthcare met. And those that do will just have had a lucky combination of life experience and biology.

I don't think its possible to get whatever they need/ want w/o help from the government. Who organises the financing of public roads? Makes sure that building codes are abided by so that their house doesn't collapse on them? Makes sure that they are safe from would be criminals? Educates the labour force?

Because they're not all true. They are true in that its an effective strategy to take responsibility for the circumstances and direction of your life. However, they are false in claiming that your circumstance is your fault. If you want to get better at business go to a business mentor. If you want to understand why people don't have jobs, speak to a sociologist.

You want to be in a place where your needs are mostly met when in the interaction. That way you are in a place of sharing of your energy and connection.

@Leo Gura https://youtu.be/RxkEG-T3zM8 You'll enjoy the first 30 seconds of this video lmao

@Leo Gura you being serious or sarcastic?

@The0Self lool im guessing sarcasm but am unsure? I dunno if i rate his game that highly. Cos i think he does pay the price of having his mental health go down the absolute toilet by his approach to game. Like ye he gets laid but dude isnt enjoying life. I prefer a julien or austen summer's type approach to game. Cos then its more about fucking enjoying life. No doubt a lot of outer game training to. But in the end you create sick memories which you actually enjoy and game becomes fun af. John anthony's system seems effective af but i feel like i'd wanna throw myself off a cliff after about 2 months of doing it

@Leo Gura I love your hatred of this ?. I find it kinda retarded. However, i get people are getting their needs met in some way by all this. I live in the UK and some of the shit is so funny. Bro they fucking shut down some primary care physician clinics in respect of her passing. Like people were missing out on crucial appointments. Bananas ahahaha. Thing too is, at least to my mind, class is a much more distinct thing in the UK to the US. There's more snobbery, and less of an mythos of social mobility. The upper classes have this more snobbish and non down to earth perception. So I think the royal family is more acceptable in that climate.

Heard that John Anthony fella is a lovely bloke. Classic family man