Roy

When the stakes are high you have to be blunt. You can't baby people through something by being extra nice and polite, because it might take away from the magnitude of the situation. The easiest example is work, supervisors and bosses have to be direct sometimes while not seeming too nice. Otherwise the employees slack off. If they are too polite about it the employees will think they are a pushover and won't listen.

Moderately important. It communicates a basic level of respect for others. Make an effort, but don't let people walk over you either. Only when it's hilariously suiting to the situation. It isn't appropriate to be polite when you're talking about something really serious. Preface something assertive you're about to say with something like, "I understand but".

Just some advice - Don't think meditating should be strictly reduced to sitting still on a rock or inside your tent for many hours at a time. The bugs, boredom, heat, and general weather will be a nuisance and probably keep you from enjoying the experience fully. You can also meditate while walking, hiking and climbing as well and achieve the same kind of stillness of mind and get insights as well that way.

These are questions you have to ask and answer yourself.

Well even being an "explorer" like what she's describing could be considered a life purpose, it's just not a consolidated/focused one like we traditionally think. Nothing is "necessary". There is nothing wrong or right about wanting to stay in your hometown and live a quiet life as a farmer or whatever. Life purpose is just for those who feel a strong affinity towards something in particular and want to have something to pour themselves into because otherwise a lot of uncomfortable feelings come up like feeling you wasted your potential. There is no meaning to any of this stuff that is happening. We are small sacks of meat floating on a pebble of an endless cosmic beach. Enjoy the ride! Then you "die" and who knows what's next.

I want to empathize with you, but from what you've posted it's very easy to gather you have a severe issue with attachment. I had the same problem to a lesser degree before. You need to sit on this and look at why you really feel this way so easily about someone, and what you are lacking that is feeding this feeling. Once you find that out, work on yourself and turn yourself into a person who is not dependent on having anyone else. Even the idea of having a "soul-mate" and "twin-flame" is a very naive, warped, and selfish way to view the world. There is no such thing or destiny that there is a perfect flawless person out there for you, every idea you have in your head about that are thought stories your mind is making up to fill the holes in yourself. There are probably millions of partners you could have that would check all those boxes for you and make you happy. But you have to accept ultimately we are all alone, a life partner or "twin-flame" is merely another alone person that you come together and SHARE things with. It is not a pre-determined bond.

That could just be a projection, but I know what you mean. I think part of that "quietly watching and laughing" part is because they know that it's the journey that truly matters all along and to simply enjoy the process of living and being. They are laughing because of the newbies that are OBSESSED with the destination and the results. Just like they were back when they started. For example when I started a few years ago I was really bad with money and wanted to handle that part of my life after years of being broke and inept with finances. Now? Well I'm not exactly where I want to be ultimately, but I sure am a FUCK of a lot closer to it and have improved tremendously from where I was when I started, like 500% better than my bottom point. Let's just say I'm definitely happier and more content on the path than not being on it, because it's 1000-fold better and I have the hindsight to see it.

@moda__ I used to play a lot of online games just until 2 weeks ago I quit cold. I would get angry and pissy too sometimes despite never displaying this kind of behavior anywhere in my life at all. It slowly dwindled down over time but the thing that helped me most when I realized I was being angry was to acknowledge that most of the things in the game were out of control. Most games are extremely volatile so it doesn't matter how good you are as a player, it's simply too chaotic and things will happen that will trigger you. Games these days are very intense with a lot of moving parts. It's not like playing Pong. Rather than fighting uphill trying to play perfect and never make mistakes like the social pressure is telling you to do, go with the flow of the game and the things that you find fun. You might not realize it like I didn't but there is no golden rule that says you have to cave into the idea of always playing "properly". It's a game, play the way YOU want to! And don't fucking apologize for it!

It's tough for sure. Your mind will fuck with you and play a lot of games, it will rationalize that the fear is a good comfortable thing and keep you from getting embarrassed etc. It's just a matter of rewiring your thoughts so you default to the positive healthy vision more often. Frustration will come in as this will take a lot of practice, and when you fail you will be discouraged. The most important thing is to just be mindful and be proud of your progress because every little bit helps. Say one week you wanted to approach 10 girls but you only talked to 3 because fear crippled you the 7 other times. As you getting better at catching yourself feeling scared and looking for reasons to bail out a few weeks in the future you approach 8/10 times. Progress not perfection!

Picture yourself as someone who approaches women, visualize it. What does it look like exactly? I mean try your best to be vivid about this. What are you wearing? What vibe are you sending out? What are you going to say? Now whenever those bad thoughts and anxieties come up, stop yourself and remember your vision. Make this a habit. Notice how both outcomes that you're imagining are versions of the future? Which one would you rather spend time thinking of? It may not seem like it but you can choose which one you want. So, pick the one that makes you feel good! Easier said than done obviously, the mind is a tricky thing. Just wanted to show you that it is possible.

A lifelong corrupt politician and a narcissist oligarch are both scumbags that like to abuse their power in all forms of their life, colour me shocked. When your democracy boils down to choosing between who is less disgusting and heinous of a child predator............ ... it might be time to consider packing and jumping ship LOL. The United States is a third-world country and a rapidly collapsing neo-imperial empire. Get out while you can.

Nighttime is when girls are out with their friends after a long week of work. They're specifically going out to relax and have a good time. Soooooo........ .... they'll naturally be more receptive to your advances, sexual or otherwise. It should be a much easier for you. Day game is like running up hill. It's hard to do because people are busy during the day running around getting stuff done, the last thing they want to do is get stopped and held up by a stranger, especially one that wants to get in their pants lol.

Exactly, but the illusion is so thick and powerful it will always be there anyways no matter how hard you work to break it so........ Everything is alright

If Trump wins again, things are going to get real bad (domestic terrorism). I don't think your country can handle much more to be honest. Feels like a breaking point is very close. Either do everything to make someone other than him go into office or start saving your money and move out of what is rapidly starting to become a third-world country.

I saw a recurring one a few times when I was ages 3, 4, 5 as well, specifically a skeleton like figure. Either in my dreams or in a trance/half awake state. I remember once at age 4 my parents angry and yelling at me after waking me up while I was standing outside at 3 in the morning. I slept walk while being led by this figure in my dream, apparently I unlocked the door and everything and my parents must have heard the door close. The weird thing is this entity or whatever it was wasn't hostile or trying to control anything like you would assume a skeleton figure would. It was oddly playful and curious, like it wanted to show me something or lead me to something important. I'm not sure. What is most odd is I know logically it was probably just the randomness of child like imagination, yet I still have this deep feeling like it was real. Some sort of connection to another spirit that had passed the physical world. I have no idea. Maybe I'll meet him again someday.

Never "follow" anyone @Eren Eeager. Rather sample as many people as possible and cross reference all the different ideas you hear to develop your own coherent and balanced worldview. By sample I mean spend maybe a handful of hours with each figure to understand the gist of their arguments and stances, but don't stick around and become a "fan" and follow every little thing they do, waiting for the next video or interview. You have to keep in mind that this is how they make money and it's in their best interest to have built in inherent biases, because if they sway too far from what the audience they've built is used to, they will turn on them and it'll hurt them. This kind of "doubling down" is exactly the kind of thing that becomes addicting for listeners and is a huge problem right now that's causing all these divisions. What you need to do is be radically skeptical and independent here. For example if you see a video of a debate between two people, and you end up siding with one person and not liking the other, and then have all your feelings validated by scrolling through YouTube comments. That moment RIGHT THERE is when you're getting sucked into an ideology or position and you don't even know it. It's at that time you stop and reflect on what you've learned, but THEN go spend time listening to hours of the person you DIDN'T like so you can understand their perspective and temper your worldview. Of course it's ok to have preferences or political leanings, but you have to make sure they are authentic and well substantiated. Not coming from a place of toxic dogma. Radical open mindedness is key here. It's scary because it will feel like you're "vulnerable" to becoming an ideologue, but actually being able to jump between different perspective will strengthen your mind. Weak minds are ones that sit around stuck in certain modes of thought all the time without leaving.

This is all you need to know to have to call the whole thing off. See maybe you guys can "work around it" for now, but inevitably given enough time the differences will creep in and it will cause tensions. If either of you change your views or principles too rapidly to try and appease the other person, they will lose their respect for you because you aren't being authentic and are trying to people please. Just keep her as a friend because this is NOT going to work out.

Also realize that you might not to and don't have to integrate every piece of wisdom you read about or hear. Some of it might conflict with your personality and your goals in such a way that you could be compromising them and damaging yourself in the end just for the sake of "learning". Some advice isn't for everyone.

Apple is the perfect example of how much you can get away with by having superior branding and marketing. They have some great products like the iPod series and iPhones, but Windows blows them out of the water on laptops and PCs.

Yes. It will just need tighter regulation and more sensible taxation. The solutions are there, it's just difficult to get people to vote for them.

The only solution is massive reduction of standard of living (voluntary or not) for everyone across the board, as well as redistribution of wealth and MUCH higher taxes on the wealthy. The alternative? Well let's just say I hope you don't mind blood.

Think to yourself, whats the worst that could happen if I don't quit smoking? Visualize, contemplate. Think to yourself, whats the best that could happen if I quit right now? Visualize, contemplate. Which one would you rather be moving towards? Another part of the problem is you might identify with smoking, so subconsciously you feel it's normal and something you "should" be doing. So it's hard to quit because it doesn't feel like it's who you are. However identities are just imagined conditions, which means you can imagine an identity where you aren't a smoker and love taking care of your body. Which is why it's important to visualize and contemplate that "best" case scenario like I mentioned. Good luck

I reflected on my post and yes saying "anything else is pure stupidity" was too much and I regret it. The comparison can also be interpreted as callous so I'm sorry for that, it would have been better off to skip over this thread instead of making that remark. I'm not sure if you read this post I made earlier @Shir but it clarifies my position better; "I agree with you that it can be messy and people can make mistakes if they don't develop self control. I just feel that this is something that we shouldn't retreat to the trenches of conservative tradition on. I think celibacy and saving yourself can be a wise choice and can have a lot of benefits for the right person, I'm just not sure there is a modern well worked out way to approach and create that lifestyle in our current culture without going backwards. Individuals need to work it out by building an understanding from a pluralistic conversation. It's too easy for them to just go back to the default conservative norm because it's already established and it's hard to go through that work yourself."

You're being quite uncharitable but that's ok. I'm sorry you feel this way, I wish you the best.

No, you're just interpreting it that way. Like I said it goes both ways, nowhere did I imply that the analogy went only male > female. You are just assuming that because of a bias female POV. You know analogies aren't meant to be taken literally right?