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@PhilGR It's good to be aware of these kind of situations. Like I wouldn't suggest anyone invest long-term into becoming a truck driver at this point, not with self-driving vehicles right around the corner. But I wouldn't freak out about it. There will always be work to be done and the market will adjust accordingly.

Solve your problem before it’s problem. Don’t be the guy who is platonic, platonic, platonic oh wait I have a dick. That sexual tension should already be there, even if you guys are friends. She didn’t reject you, you rejected yourself. Expect that you are going to take all the initiative. The fact that she did nothing is more than enough of a green light to keep going in that situation. You can always pull back if you go too far. You gotta shoot your shot man.

@Leo Kaminski I'm a coach, send me a DM.

Yes. You're free to do whatever you want, but don't just swallow the monogamy kool-aid blindly. There's lots of various lifestyles people have found success with.

@Black Flag Make the distinction between observation and judgment. Observation: Today I went to the grocery store and bought cookies. This violated the diet I've been on. Judgment: Today I went to the grocery store and bought cookies. I'm such an idiot, I can't believe I ruined my diet. I'll never get skinny. Fuck. Observation is just data. It's the difference between the facts of the situation and the stories we add on. Complete detachment from the situation, almost like you were viewing everything in third person. You can recognize something isn't "good" and still not judge it. I don't like smoking, but that doesn't mean I'm going to go around shaming people who smoke. You just recognize they're on their own journey and doing what they think is right.

The key is to work several angles congruently. First angle is your inner game. Do things like meditation and yoga, because these are natural practices that will get you out of your head and into your body. Second angle is owning your environment. Yeah, I can go to some random nightclub or social situation where I don't know anyone, muscle through the resistance and quickly make friends. I've done it countless times. But why make it harder than it needs to? Instead, deliberately structure situations where you do know people and you're a bit like the "king" of that environment. Think Dan Bilzerian, not random pickup artist running around approaching strangers. Third angle is social momentum. Socializing is a muscle, so the more you are social the easier it becomes. Conversely, the less social you are, the harder it becomes. We are creatures of habits. So work that in your favor by being social as much as possible. For instance, I have a rule that as I go about my day, I will talk to any strangers that I come across. It might just be saying "hi" to the cashier at the grocery store or striking up a conversation with the person next to me at Starbucks for 30 seconds. But I'm going to do it because I understand the importance of momentum and keeping this mouth moving. And maybe I can add a little light into their day. You can also use momentum on a micro scale in any given social situation. I went to this white party last week where I only knew a couple of people, so the first thing I started doing was talking to whoever I saw. That built momentum throughout the night itself.

@AdamDiC Awesome stuff man. There's amazing research being done on MDMA and healing trauma. Definitely not a tool that should be ignored.

@MrDmitriiV I'm with you on this one. If you study energy work, there's nothing about certain people gaining energy from being alone versus being with other people. The reasons introverts "think" they lose energy in social situations is because they're too stuck in their head. They're analyzing everything and self-monitoring, which causes them to lose energy. You can see this for yourself in social situations. If you pay very close attention, you'll sometimes see that people who become trapped in their heads start yawning. They're exhausted. An extrovert is really just someone who has gotten out of their head. Because they're not self-monitoring out of fear, their energy expands. And they just get more and more. I've had both sides of these experiences numerous times. I'll be out socializing somewhere, and as soon as I get stuck in my head, I'm exhausted. It's like I'm running a marathon, except all I'm doing is standing and talking to people. But when I'm socializing and I'm out of my head, it's like I have endless energy. I go home feeling so jacked up that it might even carry over to the next day. The final nail in the coffin on the whole "introvert / extrovert" debate is that I've just seen too many cases where it's arbitrary. You tweak one simple variable and suddenly an introvert becomes an extrovert. And visa versa. It's way more accurate to say that we can be either. Stop treating these personality tests like gospel, they're more a reflection of your current self-image than anything else.

I've been to similar music festivals of the same caliber. Not going to lie, they were pretty amazing experiences. I don't regret them at all. I also spend a good amount of time in the night club scene here in Miami. You definitely see a lot of what you are talking about, with people just numbing themselves with drugs and alcohol. The reason I don't judge these people is because I was them. I was the guy doing lines of coke in the bathroom and getting wasted all the time. Another funny thing about the party scene is that the higher you go up the ladder of social status in these environments, the less people are often concerned with partying. Here's an example. The best night club promoter in all of Miami is a vegan who does yoga and is into personal development. That might sound surprising on the surface, but it's not. How did he get to be the best promoter? Because he's got a vision, he works hard, believes in himself and is always positive. But your average club promoter? They're the ones drinking excessively, doing drugs and running their lives into the ground. That's why their business never really takes off. I think if you spent more time in the scene instead of assuming things from afar, you're going to realize that a lot of your beliefs don't hold up.

@Santiago I had almost this exact same situation with one of my exs. I was in the relationship because I basically just enjoyed being in it. We had a lot of fun. I wasn't looking for some sort of happily ever after. If that's what you want, that's okay. You are allowed to have your own agenda. It's possible she might try to shame or guilt you into feeling otherwise. Because any guy who won't commit is a piece of shit with emotional issues, right? Now let's look at solutions. If she really wants the marriage stuff and you can't see that happening, it might just be better to cut it now. The longer you are together, the more you're both going to invest into the relationship and the harder it will be to breakup in the future. It's also doing her a service in the long run. The sooner you guys breakup, the sooner she can find a guy who does want marriage. That's really important for a woman because typically time is not on their side. Her looks are fading and her biological clock to have kids is ticking. By age 30 she's already pushing it, which means she should meet a guy by at latest 28-29 if she wants family and all that. It's still possible later, but science apparently says it's much harder. So that's what I did in my situation. I just ended it and set her free to find someone else. She's got a new guy and they're living together now, worked out perfect. The other thing you could do is just be completely honest with her. I don't see myself with you in that way. Maybe she changes her mind, or maybe she breaks up with you. Either of those will work. Here are the two things you do NOT want to do: 1) Stay with her out of "obligation" because she got sad 2) Lie to her that you want something more, string her along for a couple years and then drop the bomb. That will be a fight you do not want to have. As long as you don't do either of those, you should be good.

Of course. I expect that there will never be a time when I don't have a limiting belief. Continuous growth = continuously running into blocks. There's really no way around it. They get deeper too. In the beginning, you might just be tackling surface level limiting beliefs about things you're just misinformed on. But the more work you do, the more you're diving into deeper subconscious stuff that it's really embedded in your psyche. Can you let go of your attachment of wanting the process the end? Trust me, if I had a quick "1-2-3" process for ending your need for validation FOREVER, I'd give it to you. But I myself aren't even at that point. I still fall into the trap sometimes of seeking approval and wanting to rub my success in the face of everyone who doubted me. A big thing that will help is catching it. If you can recognize what's happening, it takes a lot of the power out of it. You don't have to buy into those thoughts. You just need some meta-awareness. Beyond that, just do the techniques that have been proven to work. Meditation, yoga, breathwork, energy work etc. You don't have to reinvent the wheel. It doesn't have to be a psychologist, but going to see someone (therapist, coach, mentor) who can help guide you is an EXTREMELY good idea. I love books and YouTube videos, but understand that these tools are made for large audiences. They may or may not address your specific situation. But when you work with someone one on one, they know exactly where you're at and what you need.

@LoNatural It's not completely wrong, I've definitely seen some of the positive reactions I get from women as I get in better shape. The problem is that it's still way too simplistic thinking. It's not big guy = get girls and small guy = no girls. There's about a hundred different factors that are going to determine whether or not a guy is good with girls. If you want to start hitting the gym, great. But don't think that's going to make girls magically start having sex with you.

@Marcell Kovacs Yeah I don't believe that for a second. No one is motivated 24/7. There are some days where it's just not there. I would read a book called Turning Pro by Steve Pressfield. 5 second summary: there are amateurs and professionals. Amateurs show up when they "feel like it". Professionals show up no matter what. I'm not saying you might not have to make some changes. But I would also readjust your expectations for your motivation levels. I can tell you right now, every single day I don't particularly "feel" like doing many of the things I do. I would be a lot easier to just sit in my bed and scroll Instagram. But I do it anyway.

Now might not be the time for this since the breakup is pretty fresh, but at some point I would sit down and ask yourself why you think this happened. There's always a lesson to be found. Cheating is painful, but it's not random. He might just be the kind of guy that cheats but you can't control his behavior. All you can really do is see if there's something you could have done to make a better situation.

The way I wrap my head around it is that it's incredibly selfish to think that people should buy your product or service without marketing and sales. Your goal is for people to buy your product. But the random guy walking down the street's goal is to pay his bills, take care of his family, get a nice meal, etc. So why should he give a shit about your product? You have to show him that he should care. You have to go "stop what you're doing! This thing will make your life better!" Otherwise how will he know? Imagine you were in a store, someone came up to you and asked you to buy product X. But when you asked them what it was or what it did or why you should buy it, they wouldn't tell you. How likely are you buy? Even if that was the best product on Earth, you're leaving after a few seconds. As I've gotten more into business, I've actually really come to love marketing and sales. The psychology is incredibly fascinating and it's always a challenge. You have to really see how beneficial it is for you to do this in your business. Resources I'd recommend would be anything by John Carlton and Dan Kennedy. Also, check out "Building A Story Brand" by Donald Miller.

@kieranperez Yeah the marketing rabbit hole is incredibly deep. Everyone needs to study it, if only to understand how not to get sucked into cheesy marketing. Check out John Carlton and Dan Kennedy, they'll probably blow your mind.

@JohnIsDoe I don't have a moral problem with cheating so I don't think you should feel guilty or ashamed. I just think it's a bad strategy. People usually cheat when they're in an emotional double bind. One part of them is unhappy with the relationship and wants to get certain needs met (in your case, sex). Another part of them wants to keep the relationship alive, usually out of fear of breaking up. So the person goes with this middle of the road strategy where they don't break things off, because that would be too painful, but they also find someone else who can meet their needs. Then they just cover up the whole thing with lies. The problem is the lies can be difficult to maintain. The more lies you tell, the more lies you have to tell. And it just gets worse and worse. If you want more sex than your girlfriend can give you, it would be 100x easier to either get into an open relationship with a girl, be polyamours or find a girl who wants to do threesomes. Then the expectations are clear from the start and you don't have to navigate this web of lies. In terms of self-actualization, you could really benefit from telling her the truth about what is going on. She's going cry and all those things you are afraid of is probably going to happen. But realize that it's your unwillingness to experience that which landed you in this situation in the first place. Look at the logic. You didn't want to tell her the truth that your sex life sucks and that you were thinking about cheating because you were afraid of hurting her. So you cheated. Now you don't want to tell her the truth that you cheated because you're afraid of hurting her, which is going to be 10x worse than if you had told her before you cheated. You're digging yourself deeper and deeper. Let go of your attachment of trying to feel like a good person.

@SelfHelpGuy Why would it be bad in the first place? I don't see anything wrong with it.

@Gligorije Social skills. I don't know what you're planning on doing with your life but it's more than likely going to involve people.

Which is flawed because it's assuming housing prices just keep rising forever. 2008 proved that's not a guarantee. I know little about this but I know in Rich Dad, Poor Dad, Robert famously said that a house is a liability, not an asset. Meaning he doesn't see a house as something you buy in order to make money. Grant is not a conartist, he's one of the biggest entrepreneurs on the planet right now. One of my good friends works for him out here in Miami Beach.

@kingroboto There's lots of things you can do, but the simple one is just to decide that you're going to look people in the eyes as much as possible. Practice on random strangers walking down the street, as strange as it might sound. The more you do it, the more you'll see it's not a big deal.

That's normal, it will shift over time if you keep up your practice. Set an alarm on your phone every hour. When the alarm hits, stop what you're doing and just get present for a minute or so.

"Should you buy a home?" is not a good question to ask in the first place, it's too broad. Are you going to live in the home? Rent the home? Are you married? Single? Ambitious? Someone who likes to travel? Personally, I'm with Grant. I have no intention of ever buying a home. I like living in the city, I like being mobile and I like the convenience of being in an apartment. I've never invested in real estate so no comment on whether it's a good financial investment.

Good, I'd sit with that in meditation and see what comes up. This is a complicated question with a lot of subtleties and nuances. But I'll do my best to sum up my views. Yes, I absolutely think women choose men based on certain qualities that they want. They're not going to treat Dan Bilzerian the same way they're going to treat the nerdy accountant from Iowa. To think anything else is completely delusional and is going to result in passive pain. This is where the whole "just be authentic" belief is tremendously misleading. If you look closely at your desire to get your needs met by just "being yourself", you'll notice that it's selfish. You want something from here (love, sex, affection), you don't thing she has needs as well? There's two people in this equation. The really hard thing to stomach is that maybe you aren't right now what she wants. Maybe what she wants is Joe the football captain or Blake the musician with tattoo sleeves. But you know what? I'm completely okay with this. If I'm in a relationship, I don't expect her to still want to be with me if I stop doing the things that made her like me in the first place. That would be like expecting your business partner to keep doing business with you after you completely changed the terms on the contract. It's absurd that we would think anything else. The real crime is that you were told that relationships are here to fill some sort of void, and that your partner is supposed to be your savior. As a man you want to be your own source of unconditional love. Not seeking it in a woman. I also know that as much as women have their dating preferences, I ALSO have many dating preferences. So it would be hypocritical for me to judge her for doing the same thing. Now let's get even more nuanced. You might say that this view of reality is cold or bleak. But it's actually not, I find it pretty perfect. If a woman has a dating preference and you don't meet those standards, it says nothing about how loveable you are or what your worth is. It just means that she has a preference. It be like if you went to the eye doctor, but instead of a doctor an electrician walked through the door and said he was going to take over for the eye doctor. In that moment, you wouldn't hate the electrician or think he doesn't deserve love. It's just not what you're looking for at the moment. Dating is the same way. You have to actually BE what the girl is looking for.

@Paulus Amadeus Can you be more specific? What kind of business?