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I went through this as well. I freaked out for a long time thinking I was going to go to hell when I stopped following my religion because "omg but what if they're right???". The thing that really helped me was just time. Anytime you go through a major shift in beliefs like you have, usually the old way of thinking sticks around for awhile before it falls away. Probably because they did have some non-physical experience. Spiritual truths aren't necessarily wrong, they're just not what you were taught in church.

Look, I did some coke too in college, it's not the end of the world. But you definitely don't want to keep doing if you're serious about self-actualization. It's a really low-vibration activity. The reason you don't feel like you have control of it is because you kind of don't. These decisions are all made by the subconscious mind, you're basically just along for the ride. At this point, probably yes. Environment is the quickest way to change any habit. It's just too easy to slip up otherwise.

@Ross You can but it's going to take work. Start doing things like meditation, yoga and eating healthy. Get as much social experience as you can, even if it's terrifying.

@brugluiz Have you ever considered that you should be selfish? You're probably a really nice guy. You actually would be a great catch for a girl and could really add value to her life. But how does you not knowing how to attract her and just sitting at home help anybody? Here's what's really going on. You're looking at RSD and seeing that it makes sense. You're seeing that you could actually have success in this area. But because it would require change, your mind is resisting it. It's throwing on the brakes. Ask yourself this: does it piss you off that some douchebag club promoter out there is fucking all the girls you want? Because it should. He's not going to bring them up, he's just going to give them some drugs, fuck them and then leave them. And he will have no moral crisis about it. Why are you the only person who doesn't seem to deserve a girl? Why are you the only one who seems to get screwed?

@MarkusSweden @Nahm I agree with you guys but I think it's also important to point out that @Spinoza isn't entirely wrong either though. Yes it's all perfect and yes it's all Love. But let's not go into spiritual bypassing mode. Think about the environment. Human beings are basically destroying the planet, is that just perception too? Or is that because human beings can be selfish and low consciousness? To me, that's something that needs to be acknowledged so it can be dealt with. Not swept under the rug because of high level spiritual truths.

@Shakazulu What is the dark side? I don't ever remember David Deida talking about this.

@SelfHelpGuy There's no black and white answer, you're going to have to try things out and see what happens. But I can give you some paradigms that will be helpful. Giving should be something that you genuinely enjoy doing and that you'd be doing anyway. For instance, I love teaching. And so when I make free YouTube videos, that's me doing something I love and would be doing really no matter what. But that alone is not enough. As much as I love making free videos, the reality is that it's not free for me. Camera equipment, maintaining a website, video editing software etc are all things that cost money. So it has to be monetized through paid products and services. Given that I can use that money to create more content and help more people, and given that I truly believe my services will benefit the person buying, I now have an OBLIGATION to sell and receive. That might mean running ads. That might mean studying marketing. Or that might mean strong calls to action. It's all necessary. Believe me, I'd rather just make the free videos and answer everyone's questions all day. But what I've realized is that's not spiritual, that's actually a shadow side of my personality. The only reason I would do that is because I didn't think I was worthy of receiving. And that's not just me. Many, many people I've met are insecure about being compensated. Life is about finding Win/Win solutions because it's the only sustainable strategy. Good for others AND good for you. Otherwise it breaks down every single time.

@ZZZZ The key is you need to blend radical authenticity with social awareness. When people say "be authentic", what they're really saying is don't do things out of fear. Because fear is never authentic to your higher self. For instance, let's take the example you used of dressing well to attract girls. One guy dresses well because he's insecure and he saw in GQ magazine that this is what he is supposed to dress like. This is inauthentic and usually won't do much in terms of results with women because the truth will come out. Now let's say you have another guy who isn't afraid to violate social norms. This guy chooses from a place of power to dress well in a way that feels authentic but also is aware of social norms. It really comes down to your intentions. Don't ask "what" are you doing, ask "why" are you doing it.

@Ether Not permanently but I've had glimpses of this. It usually happens when I become extremely present to the moment.

Yes, some people are actively trying to hold others back. But it's always from a place of ignorance.

@psychoknaut You're still so young. Experiment and try things out that you feel called towards. If you wanna meet girls you're probably going to have to move to an area where there's a lot of girls. Oh and start meditating if you don't already.

@thehero Yeah I've been in similar situations. It sucks but it's not your job to rescue their relationship. Don't let them make you feel guilty, they have to take responsibility for the fact that they are lying to their partner and wanted you to cover for them.

Shit man you gotta let me know what your secret is since it's so easy for you.

I don't have a set time, really just depends what I have going on that day. Usually somewhere between 8AM - 10AM

@BestSelf You can think of ego as your fear-based mental programming. The essence of this being that you are a separate entity that must cling and struggle to survive. Part of this is just basic social conditioning, but part of this is also due to negative experiences growing up. Let's say someone in your family is killed by a member of a different race. The pain of that death might cause your family to react negatively and form a mental separation against that race. It's now "us vs them" instead of just "us". Or take the example of someone who had really negative social experiences growing up. Because they never felt accepted and part of the group, they grow up feeling separated. They feel like an "outsider" and may even develop negative beliefs like "people can't be trusted". So heavy identification with ego is in many ways just compensation. It's not a coincidence that people who are attracted to the spiritual community usually have deep wounds that need healing. Conversely, I've found that people with really positive experiences growing up tend not to create so many serious mental separations. They feel accepted and part of the whole. They feel love for everyone. Love is the natural state. I like to say that sometimes awakening just feels like you're becoming "normal" for the first time. And so I definitely think it's possible that people with positive experiences growing up can be happy. They never had to heavily identify with ego.

@BobbyLowell That's a really broad question. Do you have something more specific?

@Jamesc For most people, it represents scarcity and an attempt to fulfill a socially conditioned narrative.

I'm mostly kidding. But there is some truth to it. Guys think getting jacked is what will get them laid. Wrong. The intangibles are far more important, which is what yoga places an emphasis a on. Yoga also has a community aspect to it. People will hang out before and after class, sometimes go to outside events. You could easily meet 10 girls who you have a commonality with today by going to a yoga class. Compare that to trying to hit on the random girl at the gym in between sets. So while I don't recommend being the guy who just goes to yoga to creep on girls, it is great if it's something you genuinely enjoy. The girls are just a bonus.

@thehero "Yoga will get you laid a lot more than lifting weights".

@Xin My morning ritual is pretty long right now. I don't think everyone needs to do what I'm doing, but since I've committed to being a teacher of this work I want to really understand it. So here it is: 1) I take a quick trip to the beach with my yoga mat. Dip in the ocean, and then do some yoga in the morning sun. Stole this from Russell Simmons. 2) Come home and meditate for an hour 3) I do what Tony Robbin's calls priming. It's basically a set of visualizations and breathing techniques used to put you in a high vibration state and set your subconscious mind on your goals. Just YouTube "Tony Robbins priming" to see what I'm talking about. 4) I'm now about 3 hours in. Now I'll finally eat something, usually just some raw vegetables. Obviously I don't do this verbatim every single day. But I definitely do some version of this on an average day. I always want to end with the priming because I feel like that's what puts me in a high vibration state the most.

@Shroomdoctor Thanks, glad it helped. Awesome, go for it

@Dami I think wanting to help animals is great. But no one should ever do it out of feeling guilty because guilt is a lie. There is no reason to feel guilty about anything. Guilt is also a weak motivator. No one moves a mountain because they feel guilty, they do the bare minimum they can get away with so that they don't have to feel guilt anymore. So you won't save many animals that way. Also, consider that it's literally impossible to not inflict some amount of harm on other people or species no matter what you do. If you walked outside in nature today, you probably stepped on some bugs. If you take an Uber, you didn't take a taxi. Animals kill other animals to eat and survive all the time. So at a certain point, you just have to accept that the world isn't perfect and isn't going to be perfect probably anytime soon. We can work to improve things, but at the end of the day society is where it's at and unless you're going to move into a cave, you have to live in it. And maybe things don't need to be perfect. Maybe they're perfect in their own way, not in the way we wish they would be.

I had a similar situation in college. I didn't have the strength to say "fuck it" either until a couple years after I graduated. It may be part of your journey that you actually have to be in the Matrix for a bit longer. You may still have some lessons to learn or skills to gain before breaking out. Or, you could double down on your resolve to break out. Read books like Toxic Parents by Susan Forward and If You Had Controlling Parents by Dan Neuharth. Realize that what they are doing is ultimately selfish and not about you at all. And of course, keep up the spiritual work.

@Widdle Puppy I don't want to make you paranoid but night clubs are designed to intimidate you. They want people to feel like the club is maybe too cool for them. This makes the people who are on the inside feel very validated because they're in the super exclusive club. And it also screens out people who perceive themselves as low status and don't think they deserve to be there. The key is just to desensitize yourself to it. I live in Miami and go to nightclubs a lot, so at this point it doesn't affect me much. There's only so many times you can watch bottles of alcohol with sparklers get wheeled out before it stops becoming a big deal. Combine that with all the inner work that Leo teaches on Actualized.org and you'll be fine.

Grant Cardone, Tai Lopez and Gary Vee are some of my favorites. All incredible salesmen.