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Yeah it’s complicated. How “conscious” you do pickup will depend on your level of consciousness. I know a lot of guys that did pickup from a very low consciousness place. The personal growth was marginal. They basically just drank and partied like any other guy, but also read some theory. But you could also use pickup as leverage to really grow yourself. And I did see that as well, although it was more rare. So pickup will be as low or high consciousness as you make it. If you want it to be high consciousness, you need to be clear about that and not compromise. For instance, I would never drink when I did cold approach because I saw that as affecting my goal of becoming more socially confident and building my skillset. I would do my best to be as honest and upfront with the girl as possible. And I made sure that I continued doing spiritual work so as to not lose my head. I would set similar rules for yourself based on what you feel is important.

Yeah I suspect there’s something to that. I ate almost entirely garbage during the early years of my life. It did affect me but I still had no major health problems. Just minor things. As I did more consciousness work though, it felt like certain foods and substances become unbearable to me. It’s like low consciousness can only run on low consciousness fuel, and higher consciousness can only run on higher consciousness fuel.

@charlie cho Assuming his diet really is that garbage, it could be a variety of things he has going for him. Perhaps good genetics or placebo. Certainly low chronic stress helps. The mistake would be to assume that Buffet is healthy because of the way he eats. When in reality he is likely healthy in spite of the way he eats. We also don’t really know exactly how healthy he is. Health is holistic and can be tough to measure. He could have premature bone loss, periodontal disease, bad circulation, bad gut health etc which are not always so obvious when just looking at someone. At the very least we know he wears prescription eyeglasses, so that’s one indicator of poor health.

@Husseinisdoingfine They’re both right to a degree. Society creates and influences man. Man creates and influences society. Both at the same time. Man = society.

@Bogdan Yeah I can relate to this. I’m also a musician but have this big passion for holistic health. Health and helping people to awaken is really more my LP, so I’m still unsure of how music fits into the picture. Could just be a hobby. Could be something more. Remains to be seen for me. I can’t really tell your what you should do. I’d say just follow your excitement. If strength and conditioning and PT seems more your lane, go for it. At the same time, keep an eye out for shiny object syndrome and lack of commitment. It can be tempting to get excited about all sorts of things and then not follow through. I’ve definitely been there.

@K Ghoul Your shadow is popping up to say hello. What is this actually about?

@patricknotstar Who are you trying to convince here? No one with any nuanced thought ever denied looks play some role in life.

@soos_mite_ah good basic primer on attachment styles

That’s a good number if your approaches are strong and result in actual conversations. In fact if your approaches are quality, you could get away with less than that and still see big improvement. If you’re counting just saying “Hi” to a girl as one of those 1000 though, that’s not enough. You could do 100 “Hi” approaches in a single night. Quality over quantity. Don’t get too hung up on the numbers. The goal is not to hit your numbers, the goal is to become natural with women. So if you’re “hitting your numbers” but not improving, you missed the whole point. The numbers are just one metric of feedback of many metrics. You’re much better off doing 3 solid, full intent approaches than 30 half-assed ones. That means getting her attention. That means not bailing out immediately if things don’t seem to be working out. And that means following through on your intent on why you approached her, e.g get her Instagram, set up a date etc. You may not succeed, but don’t just have a good interaction and then leave.

I’d start with the 9 hours series Leo just shot on this topic. That be a good start. The reality is you’re going to have to invest 10s to maybe 100s of hours learning the theory. Then you’re going to have to invest 100 - 1000+ hours actually going out talking to girls to internalize the theory. And then you’re going to have to invest another 1000+ hours doing inner game work to make it really stick and become natural. Still wanna do it?

@The0Self Good basic guide. I’ll add that if you’re a newbie, you’ll mostly want to skip learning proper technique and jump right into lifting heavy weight. That’s because you haven’t thrown out your back trying to PR your deadlift yet. At bare minimum, search Youtube to see how to properly perform the lifts. Ideally though, you have a trained professional who can watch you and give you feedback. You might be doing it 95% correct, but that 5% will fuck you up.

No. I’m not saying you “can’t” get laid a lot, as if it were to bend the laws of physics. I’m saying that guys who are healthy usually don’t have the insecurity that would drive them to do so. You would need to be a neurotic fuck to keep pushing your lay count past a certain point. Especially when it’s just casual and without emotions or attachments. And that number will be subjective depending on the guy. For some, they might still sleep with a lot of women. For others, it might be very few. But there’s an “enough” point that goes off in healthy psyches eventually. Even a guy like Dan Bilzerian, who I mentioned earlier, has hit this wall. He talks about it in interviews. It just took him about 1000+ women to get there. It’s literally everything Leo talks about on his channel. Just do the practices he recommends and you’ll be fine.

I can answer your question, but truthfully this is not how I think about relationships or my life. This is a “there’s a giant fire in my kitchen, how do I put it out???” kind of question. I’m interested in not having fires. The way you do that is by being proactive and way out ahead of something like this happening. It’s like if someone gets a disease after 30 years of horrible diet, lack of exercise, poor sleep. NOW they want a cure. But the cure was not living an unhealthy lifestyle for 30 years. So to your question, if she cheats, the first thing I’m asking is why did she cheat? And why am I in a marriage with a cheater in the first place? Sure, maybe it couldn’t be helped and it’s not your fault. But assuming it hasn’t happen yet, how can I swing things in my favor so that my future relationship is healthy? Maybe learn game. Maybe invest in your financial future. Maybe develop a strong sense of boundaries that weeds out people of low integrity. Maybe learn non-violent communication so you can work these issues out by talking them through before they explode. Once you’ve been proactive and taken responsibility, if you’ve still got a fire on your hands, then we can talk about how to put it out. But my mind in general just doesn’t go there. I don’t think about random potential catastrophic scenarios in the future and how I might mitigate them.

Yeah it’s the truth. There’s this lie sold by pickup teachers that by being “healthy” is how you’ll get laid the most. But you won’t. No guy is going to compete with Dan Bilzerian because of their “self-esteem”. A guy like that has dedicated his whole life to optimizing the most casual sex possible. So why would you want to compete? In fact, if you choose the healthy route, there’s a chance you’ll say “fuck this pickup shit” and just settle down with one girl for the rest of your life. People who are actually secure don’t need to just keep increasing their lay count indefinitely. Have whatever experiences you want, but at some point you should get over it.

@Anon212 Of course, because when you’re just talking to guys and okay-looking girls, you have no agenda. But as soon as a girl is hot, you get an agenda and your mind goes into creep mode. One way you can beat this is by becoming a delusional narcissist who sees themselves as superior to the girl. This actually will work, but I don’t recommend it for obvious reasons. The second way is you can build real confidence, self-esteem and learn to stop seeing women purely as sexual objects for you to conquer. This is actually harder and will likely take far longer. It requires serious personal growth. You likely will even get laid less if you choose this path. But the upside is you will actually be a healthy, happy human being.

That insecurity is going to seriously limit you and have you settling. Every attractive girl I’’ve ever dated had male friends. Even the ones that were more introverted. And they got hit on a lot regardless. That’s the reality of dating attractive people.

Other girls may not share your perspective here. Some girls don’t give a shit, and in fact they may chase a guy even harder if they know he has a girlfriend. It happens sometimes. But you’re not totally off. Often at least one party has some sort of interest. It sounds to me like your boyfriend may just be highly extroverted / social. And you’re going to have to find a way to make it work. I’ve had friends like your boyfriend. Guys who almost compulsively need to make friends and talk to people everywhere they go. It’s like they can’t help it. If your boyfriend is like that, then that’s who he is. A dog is a dog. Even if he could change himself to make you feel better, is that what you really want? I suspect not. The reality is that different personality types have trade offs when it comes to dating. Notice that it’s that same extroversion you love about him when you leave him alone with your family that then leads to this situation. He may have different sides to him, but fundamentally extroversion is not something that can be turned off and on. Just like you can’t just suddenly make yourself extroverted. No one can be all things. So really you only have two options. One, decide that this is just too big of a incompatibility for you. Or two, find a way to work things out where neither of you have to compromise on who you are and what you value the most. This will likely be difficult, but that’s how relationships tend to be.

@Ampresus It’s all good man. Congrats on your first sexual experience. It’s common to be really nervous your first time, I definitely didn’t finish either. You’ll get more comfortable with time, especially if it’s with the same partner. The more you relax and take the pressure off the easier it will be to finish. This isn’t speculation, your sympathetic nervous system is not going to let you sexually perform if it’s too engaged. You gotta be in more of a chilled out, parasympathetic state, which is when your body gets the clue that it’s safe to have sex. Your breath is your nervous system control. When you do slower, light nasal / diaphragmatic breathing, you active that parasympathetic system. When you do quick, heavy, shallow breathing, you active the sympathetic. Use this knowledge do your advantage.

@Raptorsin7 There’s no easy solution to a situation like this because the whole foundation is wrong. The guy I feel is doing the right thing by enforcing his boundary and leaving. And it’s also likely to be tough on the kids. They’re both true. It’s a Lose/Lose situation that he can’t win. Whether he stays or goes, he’s screwed. Really a better way to thinking would be how to avoid ending up in Lose/Lose game dynamics like this in the first place.

@kray Because the west has partially already gone through that phase. Think about the Puritans or Victorian era. The west has always been uptight. It’s only now that the pendulum has swung so that some part of the west is less uptight. Advances in technology and materialism mean that people don’t want or need to engage in strict moralizing about these things. Uptightness becomes obsolete.

@Insightful27 I agree what everyone has been saying. It doesn’t sound like from your story you have any reason to feel guilty, nor do I believe the police will actually get involved. It sounds to me like a miscommunication. It’s important as men that we learn how to read both implicit and explicit consent. But it’s also possible after an experience like this to become paranoid. You’re young and forming opinions about how the world works. So pay attention to the conclusions you might be drawing from this.

For helps avoid plateaus. Keep the muscles guessing. I just don’t think it’s worth the risk. I get that you’re looking for that post-workout insulin release, but maltodextrin is a highly processed sugar and I’d rather not put that in my body. Especially when you consider that other alternatives exist that can give you the same effect: In small doses I’m sure you can take maltodextrin and not die. But I just don’t see its upsides relative to healthier foods.

You don’t have to lower your reps every time. It’s just about what you want to focus on building. Different rep ranges target different things. Olympic lifters and powerlifters tend to go high weight, low rep because they want max strength and don’t care about much else. But a bodybuilder, whose main concern is muscle size and physique, is going to be building in a lot more volume. So think about what your goals are. I personally prefer a more balanced approach, where I vary rep range and weight on a weekly or bi-weekly basis. Again, it all depends on your goals and where you currently are in your fitness journey. For most people, I think full body a couple times a week is probably ideal. Most people only need 48 hours to recover, maybe even 24 hours in some cases. And on your rest days you can do some light cardio if you want, just don’t overdo it. Currently my split looks like this: Monday: HIIT Cardio, Pull day Tuesday: Low Intensity Cardio Wednesday: Off Thursday: HIIT Cardio, Push day Friday: Low Intensity Cardio Saturday: HIIT Cardio, Full body bodyweight exercises Sunday: Off You don’t have to copy that split but might give you some ideas on how you want to structure things.

Looks good. Ideally, I would vary the workouts a little more. Strength is usually built at around 5 or fewer reps, that’s when you’re really tapping that Phosphagen system. And if you really want to build muscle, I’d be hitting that 15 rep mark at times with 30 second rest for max hypertrophy. Also, there’s more to fitness than compound lifts. What about your aerobic exercise, mobility or your endurance? Maybe those aren’t important goals for you, but to me they go hand in hand with being a healthy, fit person. Not someone with just big muscles. Regardless, these are rather nitpicky points I’m making. The most important thing is you have a plan, be consistent with it but also adjust as you learn more over time. Maltodextrin is not good for you. I’d cut that out. I’d incorporate more healthy fat into your diet. Fat is going to be more calorie dense to help you put on size. If you can find grass-fed ghee, that might be a good place to start. You don’t just want to be a carb burner. I’d also consider adding some red meat. That will help you get your protein and fat in. And that’s going get you a lot of essential amino acids (bcaas) for building muscles. You won’t even need to take creatine if you eat enough red meat. Meat has creatine.

You could eat nuts, that’s what I did when I was vegan. Definitely a calorie dense food. But I’d argue meat is going to be way healthier than eating a bunch of nuts everyday for many people.