Raptorsin7

@JustThinkingAloud Thank you. I think all the yoga and meditation will help when I do finally wake up, I will try not to resist. I will surrender. I think that will make it easier. Sometimes I like to think of my favorite tv show characters that were brave to inspire me haha, but i also think that is more thought and ego trying to control the situation so idk if that's good.

@Anna1 Ahh very interesting. Thank you for your response

@Preety_India Ahh i see. Enlightenment is real imo. It's what happens when we stop telling ourselves who we are with thoughts and feeling, and just look and see reality. Then we see truth.

@erik8lrl Because I don't control it. I know people say i'm already enlightened, etc etc. But right now I feel like a mind an ego. I want good things, and I don't want to avoid bad things, like hell, demons etc. But with awakening this whole charade is over. Whatever it is will change me, and i don't know how it will change me. I like my current trajectory, and I was hoping i could use awakening to be the best version of myself and live my dream. But this is all an illusion. Awakening will cut through all of the illusion, and i don't if I'm going to like what I find. I'm also just feeling scared right now. Like it's kind of late and i'm alone in my apartment. If was on a hike with friends or something I bet I wouldn't be as scared. But right now the fear feels real so i'm just reacting to my current state. I completely recognize that tomorrow I could feel better and be more optimistic about facing the truth, but times like these show me that this path isn't all sunshine and rainbows. And it's scary...

@Preety_India Why only 15 minutes? Right now I do either hour or 30 minute sits. Also, have you had an awakening? I highly doubt it's not scary. The best things are the most expensive.

@Sombra So why are you on this forum if you're not pursuing spirituality or enlightenment? Not being rude at all, i'm just curious I thought most people here have sort of bought in to the whole enlightenment/truth sch-peel

@Anna1 Yea i'm definitely lost in this thought story right now. I feel a deep fear/uneasiness in my experience right now and my mind is feeding off it like a positive feed back loop. But right now, I feel like if i let go I will see IT. And i'm not ready, so i'm kind of suck in no man's land. What is the alternative here? Do you think it's possible to experience awakening without facing our inner fears and demons. There's stories i could create in my mind that would scare the fuck out me. Even if I know it's all me, and the source of all the thoughts is all love. The fear is still real nevertheless.

@Sombra Thank you very much for sharing. That is what we must go through to get awakening I think. Our deepest fears will come to fruition and because it is all love, these fears are just another representation of us or source that can be loved and accepted if we are willing to surrender to the experience. The problem is it's fucking hard af to surrender to something like ghosts or demons, or whatever else we fear at our deepest being. On the other side of this fear is love and bliss, i'm just not ready to cross it. I wonder what others think about this. Maybe we can learn to build ourselves so we can confront our deepest fears easier, but idk...

@erik8lrl Can i stop though? I feel like any time i go to meditate it could happen. My third eye pressure is literally here all the time now, if i'm even mindful for a few moments the pressure comes and I feel massaging my eyes.

@erik8lrl Sigh... I know, i'm just scared of the path to the awakening. I feel like it's going to be scary up until I actually realize the truth and i'm not ready for that journey. If i could experience truth without the pain and death it would be great, but i'm not ready to experience all of this yet.

@modmyth LOL. Only fellow canucks will understand.

@Nak Khid Ok. I do not think I am ready for an awakening. I will just limit my meditation to the morning then focus my attention on more egoic forms of happiness for the time being.

@erik8lrl Is child pedophilia all love?

@Nak Khid It was like 6 total hours. 2 Hours in the morning. Then another 4 *1 Hour sits throughout the day. Plus 2 different ashtanga yoga practices.

November 22nd: First Meal: Large double double coffee + Banana Pecan Muffin Second Meal: Double double burger + Fries- White spot Third Meal: Caramel and Hot fudge sundae- Takeout November 23rd: First Meal: Extra Large Double double coffee+ 2 banana chocolate chip muffins- Takeout Second Meal: 2 Baja FIsh Tacos- Take Out Third Meal: Banana Fourth Meal: Individual Pepperoni Pizza

@Nahm What do you mean sneaky?

@Nick68 Go read Nahm's thread on using a dream board.

Can't wait! Make sure you record your progress

@JustThinkingAloud ahh very cool. Good luck.

@JustThinkingAloud So you just learned the necessary coding for this specific project? Or did you have a coding background before this?

@JustThinkingAloud How did you learn to code?

November 21st: First Meal: Large Coffee Regular + Banana Pecan Muffin Second Meal: 2 California Rolls Third Meal: Double double burger + Fries- White spot Fourth Meal: Chocolate Milk + Diet Ginger Ale

Good job Raphael! You are so consistent (:

@Proactive LOL i'm sorry. It just works so well I gotta let ya'll know.

What would you rate your current level of happiness or satisfaction with life. It's entirely subjective, but given where you are now and where you want to be in the future how would you rate your present state.