BlessedLion

That's a good question! I'd say it's fine if i'm secure with her and trust her. Sometimes you want to be in an environment with music, things happening, dance and to just be out in general-especially for the feminine. And maybe she has single friends who want to go somewhere they can meet guys, i don't want to be the controlling dude who doesn't let his girl go out, it's much more badass to be so secure in her and yourself that she doesn't even have a thought of cheating, and knows that if she does, she is disposable. I get the sentiment of not wanting to just being home in some confined apartment. So as long as I trusted her, i'd have no problem with this.

he's always had quite a mystic/wiseman vibe

I don't see how this is her using you, also this just makes you sound like a tyranical over controlling partner. You can be equal with a woman and still be the leader in the relationship. To me leading has nothing to do with where you eat dinner, whether you kiss her or not, etc frankly if my woman was saying let's kiss i would happily do it that's super cute

I haven't read this whole thread, but want to say that understanding and learning attraction skills is absolutely neccesary for men, this isn't some cute game or disney fantasy, this is nature and survival we are talking about. If men don't take this seriously they will end up in relationships where they get the short end of the stick (relationships are a negotiation whether people are aware of it or not), cheated on, or even worse cucked and raising a kid that isn't even theirs. Women simply cannot speak on this topic without massive bias. Their whole experience of dating, sex, and attraction is wildly different from mens, so this advice to "just be yourself" is frankly awful. I'm not saying totally turn your back on yourself and not be authentic, or be manipulative, but learning how to attract and be skillful with women while staying authentic is essential for men if you want power and optionality in the sexual marketplace. Because even if you take the route of "just be yourself" and land a solid, beautiful woman, you will cling to her like a crack head because you know you got lucky and if she leaves you, you don't have the skill to attract another woman like that, so you will be at the mercy of her negotiations and she can bend and twist you to her will because she will also sense your lack of bargaining power in the relationship. Whereas if you know that if she leaves you, you can easily go out and within a week or 2, have another quality beautiful woman around your arm, she will be a much more fair bargaining partner and you can put more beneficial agreements on the relationship. you will also get way less attitude, disrespect, and nagging.

Exactly. This is actually more common than most will admit. Probably as common as men cheating for the sake of higher quantity of partners. At it's core it's just a bunch of genes trying to survive and reproduce themselves at the expense of their host humans body and life. Genes and nature don't give a fuck about us or our human inventions, nature can and will play dirty.

First I want to say I really love your writing and contributions to the forum. I can tell you’re deeply integrated, self aware and clear on what you want/how you want to live. It's nice to have intellectual and deep conversations that go beyond reactivity and shit flinging. The Batman/Superman analogy was fire. That said, I feel like you hold a frame of basic “human needs” that “we all have” without acknowledging the nuance that this varies for people. Also, in your writing there is an almost an air of superiority in "doing the normal human thing" rather than aspiring to pursue consciousness and awakening, which can absolutely still be done as a householder, the Sufi and Classical Tantric traditions, for example, encourage this (Because everything is God so why climb a mountain to figure that out) First, I feel like the “human needs” thing can be its own form of gaslighting, it seems very challenging for some people to accept that there are people who really don’t have many of those needs and actually are happy alone. Ramana Maharishi for example would probably be miserable living a householder life. After working privately and intensely with Ralston I came to learn and experience that so much of our suffering and “social needs” really are just made up inventions and all this running around to fulfill those needs is draining and unnecessary. I’m not anti social, I love a good conversation and actively am dating around , but I really don’t need anything from it, and the second my social calendar gets too full I feel like I’m suffocating. I’m a big fan of “standing on your own feet” emotionally and being as non needy as humanly possible. I def agree that basics like food water health safety are non negotiable. Where I veer off is all the human social checklists. The less needy one is , the more powerful, peaceful and free they are imo. If there is such a thing as “basic human needs” it is much, much, much less than what we make it out to be. Remember for most of our evolution humans lived sleeping in clay huts, with bugs, mostly hungry, and with 100-150 others people and likely were pretty content and happy, probably much happier than people today. Of those 150 maybe 20-30 were viable opposite sex options for partnership, maybe 5-10 you were attracted to. People had to make it work with different personality types and desires, so I think the whole “soul mate/perfect partner” thing is largely bullshit and crosses a line into extreme pickiness. But i did read your writing on partner compatibility which did change my mind on some things, so thanks for that. Regarding the whole “transcending maya” I totally agree. It’s not something to “transcend” and all that is mostly just a form of dogma. Like Christians breaking bread, Hindu monks go live in caves renouncing Materiality which ironically means you are still not free or aware of yourself as nothing because you have to run away from “material life” to be free whereas if you are truly awake there is absolutely no difference. So you are still bound to needing to be away from people and daily life and therefore unfree. Awareness truly needs nothing and is wholly complete in itself as it is. From there a beautiful life can be built including relationships, work, hobbies, etc. It might sound radical or cheesy but I truly think if we can’t be totally happy alone nothing will do it for us. I do think radical non-neediness is not only a possibility but something to strive for or better yet, simply discover as true. Lastly I read what you wrote on how people who grow up not fitting in then create an identity of “different than others in a good way” to counteract “different than others in a bad way” and im def guilty of this- but there has to be some sliver of truth in people who are more spiritually inclined, meaning they actually ARE different in some way. The “normal life” and the way it is structured and the rules of that game are simply unfulfilling and boring and that some minds need more depth, introspection, mastery and yes, dare I say Greatness or at least the pursuit of it. It’s like that quote “being normalized to an insane society says nothing about your sanity.” I mean some beings genuinely are different (“better” is more subjective) but I can say for myself if I had gone the “basic bitch” route i'd be Sooooo fucking miserable. I remember once driving to a job I had in my early 20s, an internship, and saying out loud “if I have to do this for 40 fuckin years I’m going to blow my brains out” I’ve come to realize that the freedom to contemplate and read and rest is non negotiable no matter where or how I have to live to maintain that freedom. This comes at the cost of relationships, partnerships, social events and normal scheduling. People will hate me for this but I do think there is something superior in living a life of contemplation, simplicity, modesty, mastery, and intelligence/understanding than just being an animal who sleeps eats and fucks. I find the way normal people live to embrassingly low consciousness and shameless, like pissing on the gift of life itself. And Emerald , you must admit, you are far from normal, I definitely don't see you as a normal person or "one of the sheep" try as you might. but i can understand the sentiment of dropping a spiritual or holier than thou identity and embracing the day to day life of being human, and i certainly think trying to "kill the ego" is an endless silly exhausting game. And reading this i can't help but wonder- why would you want to RELATE to “common human problems”? They are totally dysfunctional, unhealthy and neurotic. It has taken me years to drop the normal human issues and I would never go back to that place not for 10 Million dollars. Nothing wrong with living a simple life with family, friends, hobbies etc but I’m never going back to taking it seriously, define me, or being needy. It might seem like im arguing here , but in truth i agree with much of what you write, but if i agree with it then inherinitely there is nothing for me to write back about , and i love going into the depth and nuance of these topics almost for the sport. We're so lucky to even get to chose the lifestyles we want and have the freedom of speech to sit back on a saturday night with a glass of wine philosophizing these topics.

That is a good point, thanks. I do feel like biologically- Women are more wired to find quality partners due to the risks and timeline of giving birth whereas men look for quantity due to the low risk and ease of spreading their genes. This has been proven. But you are correct that men also want exclusivity to ensure it is actually their genes being passed on. Therefore, The "have your cake and eat it too" situation for Men is to have access to multiple women that are exclusively their sexual partners, we see this done by many Kings of the "GREAT CIVILAZATIONS" who had concubines of up to 1,000 women that they would ensiminate 2-3 times a day. From China, Babylon and Inca, this was the case. The female version of having her cake and eating it too, is to have a good provider husband who is relaible and safe, while getting the better more attractive genes from another man, a lover architype so she has the best genes along with security to raise it, Cucking her husband, which is actually very common, Red Queen book really goes deep into this. But you make a great point. In the monogamous societies we live in today, exclusive commitment from both is the ideal for both, but on some lizard brain level it's not the "best" for their genes and offspring

Sexual Mastery is absolutely essential for men in life, there is no way around it no matter how you slice it. Espeically nowadays, i'm working a video for this topic

Yeah porn addiction is very gnarly and hard to beat. People have said quitting heroine was easier

I recently had a similar realization, i think porn brainwashes men into thinking that something like that is even possible. Most women would hate that kinda situation as it goes against their core desire in relationship, exclusive comittment. You have to realize that exclusive commitment to women is like sex to men. This is why women are much more picky about who they fuck

Damn, homie is living with 8 Brazilian baddies, not bad, but im sure there is some sort of catch and it isn't what it seems. And if it is, it is extremely fucking rare. I will say though , for whatever reason, Brazilian women seem more fluid and able to do this. I have a friend here in Bali who has a Brazilian gf who is bisexual and they have 3 sums and 4 sums all the time with other women and she actually genuinely seems okay with it. But i think it still messes with her a bit

Can you expand on that?

https://www.reddit.com/r/openmarriageregret/ This can also help shed light on how much a fail trying to open a relationship typically is.

This reminds me of Aubrey Marcus, his Wife clearly pushed herself beyond her boundaries to accomodate his desire to fuck a younger woman. My problem with Poly people is they make is their whole life. All they can talk about is there different relationships while constantly proccesing the jealousy, hurt, etc that's coming up in the process. I don't think we evolved for something like that and for most people it fucks with their foundation of security, stability, and safety. I don't really know a solution though , because men are also wired and evolved to have as many sexual partners as possible

What a stupid generalization. Women are amazing creatures and have so much to give. Id kill myself if Women didn't exist, that's not a world i'd want to live in

The reason Polygamy doesn't work is that it goes against womens biology and evolution, as "advanced" as they may try to be, women want on a deep psyhcological level to secure a partner that is stable. Polygamy works for men, unless of course the women are allowed to sleep around, in which they can do more easily so most men just end up being Cucks. It doesn't really work for anyone, unless your some king who has a concubine but then that's basically slavery and i doubt it very fulfilling.

i love how people here are so quick to just make assumptions and fling shit at each other. Like monkeys! The emotional stability and poise of this forum is at the maturity level of a child. Makes me hate coming here. When you can hide behind a screen it erodes the core of what builds a community and intelligent discussion - accountability. I disagree with your post and opinion, you insult my intelligence. I have nothing I need to prove to you but if you want my answer i find him to be too lost in concepts and numbers, he also talks about silly shit like demons and angels, finally i believe that someone who truly has a grasp on deep intellectual concepts can explain it in easily understandable ways, like a Ken Wilber, Ralston, or Leo, he doesn't seem capable of stepping out of his mathematical linguistics to cast a broader net. Too robotic, too much in the head, kind autistic, it's not that i can't keep up with him, it's just boring and lacks heart

meh

This is basically saying that you cannot be at peace in life unless you succeed materially, which is wildly untrue and unwise. Many sages and mystics renounced the material world and lived profound lives of deep satisfaction that 99% of "successful" people cannot even fathom. Once you truly know what you are existentially and inherintely, the idea of striving for some pursuit or success to fulfill you is utterly ridiculous. Sure if you want to play the game of life a bit and build something you feel passionate about, go for it, but if that thing fails, or gets destroyed, you should be able to shrug it off and laugh knowing that no matter where the chips fall you are full and complete in your being. Call it spiritual bypassing, which i think has become a bit of a co opted word thrown around at anyone who meditates, but i think its actually bypassing spirituality to continue running on the same programming and conditioning that western capitalism has brainwashed into you. People just cannot fathom the idea of not working, not producing something, not being "useful" or "succesful" and simply resting in being and your nature without putting pressure on yourself to do anything. Notice how you still hold this mindset of competition, being "less than", being outwitted, and how that ultimately leads to you being a failure if you "fall behind." Maybe falling behind in an insanely miserable and unhealthy society is a good thing. This natural state is actually how most humans lived for millions of years, the whole Productivity/Success and even "marketplace" is relatively new and a drop in the bucket compared to our evolved way of living. The Greeks would call anyone who slaves away working for money an idiot, whereas the true gold in life is time for leisure, intellectual pursuits, etc. The game of life is to be played, and there is a great feeling in. crushing it, but to say that you cannot be at peace until you are successful or else you will fall behind and miss out on life in someway shows an utter misunderstanding of ones true nature and is ultimately coming from a place of lack and fear.

I will die happy never reading that book haha

That is so depressing. Makes me not want to read newly releases books

This is intelligent, thanks for sharing

I have some female friends that are like this to, and most dating coaches would say "don't get friend zoned" but these days i think there is a beauty to this. It also takes off all weird and cringe pressure of dating dynamics with a stranger.