halo

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Posts posted by halo

  4. Posted

    1 hour ago, Batman said:

    It means that you this sensation, anything else would be speculation.

    Did you became conscious of anything with the sensation? That should be your "test". If new Consciousness arise simultaneously with the sensation maybe you can postulate that the two are connected, that some how what you became conscious of lead to a release or flow of energy in that place.

    It almost felt like something was activated. And it seemed like something was being released. But not much mind content. 

  5. Posted · Edited by halo
    Added words

    1 hour ago, Goldzilla said:

    This is how it feels when the pituitary gland is in full throttle and other glands maybe. I speak from my experiments on shambahvi mudra. 

    Basically it activates the lymbic system, the reptile within, those movements similar to pelvis and at first is something very strange feeling, beast like, like those big monsters from childhood. Now it depends on the feeling, pole like in the head or simply rubber like in the head, stuff moving, swelling and contracting etc. 

    Interesting. And this is a good thing? Yeah, it's hard to explain, it almost feels like there is something shooting out of the top of my head. There's a density/hardness to it. 

    I remember during the cannabis trip that I was also rotating my spine and arms. Can't remember if it was at the same time as pole feeling. I probably looked like I was being exorcised or something. xD

  6. Posted

    Has anyone experienced the feeling of having an orb inside the top of their head or a pole going through the top of their heads? It's very strong, sharp, and feels magnetic almost. My head usually also rotates spontaneously whenever this happens. 

    The first time I felt it was during a group energy healing I received, where everyone was directing energy to me during a "rebirthing" process. The last time was on a high dose of cannabis oil. And I believe I've experienced it on LSD or 2cb but I can't be sure. 

    What does it mean? Is it related to kundalini? 

  9. Posted

    I think my biggest fear about pursuing the truth/spirituality/enlightenment, is that it will come at a huge cost. That at some point I will come across a pill too big to swallow. Something that cannot ever be unseen. The big cosmic joke?  Or perhaps I have already discovered the truth and spent my entire existence forgetting it so that I can continue experiencing life through different perspectives? i.e. God is everything and created "separation" in order to feel. 

     

     

    Part of me says that I only have that fear because I have been programmed to believe that there is always a catch, you can't have your cake and eat it too, everything comes at a cost, etc. 

     

     

    But I also want to believe that all of that is only dualistic thinking.

     

     

    How do you see through the distortions? This unsettling feeling has probably been the biggest hindrance in going further. I just want to know if the fear is real or unfounded. 

     

  12. Posted

    2 hours ago, SunnyNewDay said:

    somatic experiencing therapy (peter levine), other kinds of body based therapies and breath work are much safer, MDMA as well through an experienced therapist is quite safe as well.

    there are a lot of unforeseen problematic side effects when it comes to releasing stored up emotions with psychedelics. you can re traumatize yourself and cause psychotic experiences which only make healing more difficult. add to that a layer of existential stuff which from my experience only confuses when it comes to healing. stick to safer alternatives and be careful about people proselytizing their chosen medicine as a magic pill "1 ceremony is 10 years of therapy" "people leave completely healed". I fell for that once with people deep into Ayahuasca. while promising, psychedelics are risky (especially the really strong ones like any of the DMT based medicines. be very, very careful) and there just isn't that infrastructure and systems established to catch, treat vulnerable patients, and see them through to a grounded place with integration. It isn't just taking a medicine and ta da you're healed. MDMA is just starting to develop a safe and ethical healing approach system around it, not just 10 people taking a fuck ton in one room together with no screening or any sort of intake.

    THIS.

  13. Posted · Edited by halo
    Added words

    Skip the Aya for now. Ever notice how a lot of people who are into Aya, and have done dozens of ceremonies, are still fucked up? 

    Read this What MDMA Therapy Did For Me and then How to Get Started with Planet Medicine Therapy.

    Tucker Max is the last person I ever thought would write about Trauma so that says a lot. 

    He's friends with Tim Ferris who is a huge supporter of psychedelic therapy, and MAPS.

     

    Also, feel free to PM me if you're interested in trauma therapies. 

  15. Posted

    6 hours ago, Visionary said:

    Yes, the one was me lmao. It pretty much looked like an exorcism once the inner healer took over. Insane screaming. Insane movements (body, hands, neck, tongue like a snake), laughter like the girl from the exorcist (that came from my throat). It was quite insane man. All during the holotropic breathwork retreat. Dit 8 sessions, 2 sessions for four days straight.

    Did it heal you? Do you feel like you still need to do more sessions?

  18. Posted

    On 2019-10-29 at 7:44 AM, Leo Gura said:

    @halo If you're so tolerant to it, just vaporize the damn thing.

    I guess that's what I'm gonna have to do. Got up to 80mg and it was actually way less intense than 60mg. Tried it a couple of times and ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Even tried going sublingual. There goes my stash. 

     

    So next step is to get one of those vaporizer things so I don't burn my house down while trying to be enlightened. xD

     

    Safety first. 

  19. Posted

    3 hours ago, Winter said:

    Thanks for sharing your story. If it doesn't bother you, what is your height and weight?

    Haha you're welcome. It actually took a lot for me to be so open about all of this. I feel kinda naked sharing all of this stuff so your words mean a lot to me. 

    I am 6ft tall and weigh about 150lbs. But height/weight doesn't seem to matter with psychedelics. 

  20. Posted

    4 hours ago, outlandish said:

    I think you should try sniffing it. If you do, make sure it's chopped up ultra fine if your product is at all grainy, and sniff it very gently.

    The thing is it won't dissolve in water. And according to reports on here, it's not very pleasant. I wonder if oxalate is soluble in propylene glycol. 

  21. Posted · Edited by halo
    Added text.

    6 hours ago, Girzo said:

    60 mg for a medium intensity trip? Your wallet has it hard in life for sure xD

    Interesting, I am curious when and if you will breakthrough.

    I bought 500mg worth and was expecting it to last awhile but I guess not... :(

    It does! That may explain why most supplements that have a noticeable effect for a lot of people, have no effect on me. 

    I was thinking of going up to 70mg next time, but I'll probably just go straight to 80mg, and go down from there. 

  23. Posted

    Boy oh boy. I did 60ish mg last night and it definitely wasn't enough since there was still a me to fight the experience. It was terrifying for my ego. 

     

    I kept reminding myself to surrender and I was getting there at some point but then the whole-body orgasm (or whatever that was) became too much to handle and I ended up kneeling on my bed in a fetal position. And exclaimed that I wanted to be alive! xD 

    I think the scariest part of it all was that it felt like I was going crazy and would stay like that permanently. 

     

    There are truly no words to express what it felt like. It felt non-dualistic but I was still aware of my body so I'm not sure that I "broke through."

     

    Surprisingly it didn't even last 30 mins and I thought it would considering the administration method. 

     

    I also had this thought that the most loving thing I could do is die. The most fucked up thought that came up was that life is a game about finding ways to kill yourself. (Knowing you can't?) Are these just distortions of my psyche/subconscious? 

     

    I don't even know what to think! But I will be back :) 

  24. Posted

    3 hours ago, Girzo said:

    @halo What about lysergamides like LSD or AL-LAD? Do they work in you like in others or do you have a tolerance to them too?

    For 1p I like to dose with no less than 300μg and have done up to 800μg. I know it's not as potent as LSD but I also feel like I can do more than the average person. If it's true that LSD tabs are usually underdosed then maybe you can deduce that I'd have the same tolerance to LSD. 

  25. Posted

    3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Sounds like you got some special genetics.

    How your body metabolizes chemicals depends on your genetics.

    I'm unusually sensitive, for example. You are the opposite.

    You are probably right. It sucks though because I can't follow any of your dosing recommendations. AND because it costs more for me. :(