SunnyNewDay

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  1. I am enlightened. Sincere seekers: ask me anything
    I am enlightened. Sincere seekers: ask me anything
    Yes, in therapy. If that's not available then you need to get honest about your desires yourself. Admit to yourself what you actually want and feel -- not what you should want.
    And how do you figure out what you actually want and feel? Notice how you feel; metaphorize it (articulate what it feels like); think of what you might want to do & notice/metaphorize how you feel given each possibility; act in various ways and metaphorize how you feel after these actions.
    In this way you come closer to what you actually want, not what you "should" want or hope you want or think you should want or want to want.
    Maybe you want to make music and not meditate. So make music -- be honest about it and do that! That's the way to move forward: align action and motive.
    Or maybe you don't want to lose weight. If you’re going to eat junk food -- tell yourself "I want to eat junk food. This IS what I want." 
    Or perhaps you both want and don't want that... admit that to yourself too -- "I want to eat junk food but I also want to look better." Then investigate what these feelings mean... metaphorize them, and really listen to what they are saying, their reasons. Imagine they are little voices inside you. They have histories, reasons for wanting what they want. 
    But just hold them... realizing that "What I want is to stay in conflict right now, because I don't know what to do." And take responsibility for that at least.
    There are also many other feelings you could try admitting to yourself, negative feelings you have about parents, your past, your friends, etc. -- often stuff we are ashamed about.
    Again, all this is exactly why I recommend psychoanalytic therapy (not just any therapy... psychoanalytic therapy).
    And expect it all to take time. No shortcuts.
    But you can meditate, read scriptures, and so on to some extent while doing all this.