Espaim

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Posts posted by Espaim

  1. Posted

    Male, 20

    So, I've been thinking of doing several things for some time now. I planned out what I want to accomplish in my life according to my passions and well-thought future predictions. This year I am biting the bullet. I'm gonna do it no matter what happens. It'll probably be hard to go out and do socializing anyway so I may as well use this time to accomplish my lone tasks.

    Goals for 2021 in order of importance

    • Enter psychology major (no progress. Still need to decide whether I'll need to study or not)
      • I've been studying Mechanical Engineering for 1.5 years and I absolutely can't imagine myself being happy working as an Engineer. TBH I went in to be a professor, like a Physics or Math professor. I want to join psychology so I can help advance the research on psychedelics over the world. I also have a backup plan if this gets too out of hand that also involves psychedelics. Nonetheless, I prefer to focus on this project first. If I am not able to get a transference I'll need to study.
    • Exercise 3x/week (currently 0%)
      • This is the most procrastinated goal ever. I really dislike aerobic exercise but I would really benefit from it. Running in my cool shoes around the astonishing shore I have next to my house. What a great view!
    • Clean up my diet (80% clean currently: 40%)
      • I have struggled with diet all my life. Always eating shitty food. I think this is due to a dopamine problem as I have a tendency of being ADHD and I want a high of some sort. I already went to a dietitian and I'm focusing on following the plan accordingly.
    • Read 20 books (currently on my first one)
      • I struggled with brain fog for the whole of 2020. Now I'm recovering due to diet and a med that I started taking.
    • If I don't get the transference to psychology, then I'll start working a part-time job so I can get money to get a drivers' license.

    Any other ideas cross my mind I'll add them here. When compelled to, I'll update my progress.

  2. Posted

    Things I've tried during my noots experiments year with the intent of reducing brain fog.

    Rhodiola Rosea 500mg - Increases overall physical energy, reduces overthinking, improves mood. Sometimes makes me irritable. Improves memory a bit. Helps with brain fog but doesn't have a significant effect.

    Astragalus 500mg - the best I've ever tried. Cuts through brain fog and allergies like antihistaminics but better. When I take it I can feel a sudden clarity in my thoughts and it's easier to pay attention to the environment.

    Bacopa 300mg - Reduces anxiety a lot, reduces motivation to the point of depression and anhedonia. Improves memory by a lot. I really don't recommend this supplement if you already struggle with motivation/energy. It'll suck the life out of you. Only take it if you have severe memory impairments. I MEAN it.

    Ashwagandha 150mg - reduces anxiety but makes me intensely apathetic and unmotivated. I don't think I need it to be honest.

    Panax Ginseng - Little boost in energy. Not sure if placebo. The first adaptogen I tried.

  11. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    In the beginning, LSD increased consciousness and awareness. Also open-mindedness. This certainly has spilled over my sober awareness. I find myself having "at the moment" experiences much more frequently despite not meditating as much as I plan to. I also became more open to ideas and WAY, WAY less ideological.

    Now it seems to increase identification with the ego during the effect. I think of how awesome I am and how I'll crush my enemies and how secret government agencies are watching me but no mystical insights. Funny isn't it? I ain't getting many benefits from using it again so I'll take an extended break.

    I only tried mushrooms at the beginning of my consciousness journey but they seem to do a better job at increasing consciousness for me. This is also true for weed.

  16. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    Just by reading this comment you're missing out on an infinity of things you could be doing

    Focus on what you can do now and forget about your past. You can't do anything about the past but you definitely have the power to alter your future if you focus on the present.

    And pls, 23 is still young as fuck. I have some friends around this age and they still do dumb shit and smoke green and party. Leo started heavily his pickup shit after 23 I think. Don't quote me on this.

    I like drugs but not that much partying because I'm not really interested in relationships or one night stands so I don't care. I pursue what I want which is human connection and fun. If parties are a good way of doing this then I'm there otherwise fuck it

  21. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    21 hours ago, aurum said:

    What is the quality of food you're eating? If the food you're eating is junk, you can forget about that giving you energy.

    It varies. On the weekdays I eat mostly clean. On the weekends I eat pretty shitty tbh. But I feel bad almost every day.

    21 hours ago, aurum said:

    Do you practice breathing exercises?

    No. What do you suggest?

    21 hours ago, aurum said:

    Do you spend time in nature?

    It's not allowed in my country atm but when I can I certainly make some heavy effort.

     

    So I've done some research and I'm thinking that maybe I am Lactose Intolerant. Going to test this on Wednesday.

  23. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    So I've been struggling with this for a long time already

    It's hard to eat anything. It's hard to eat junk food and healthy food.

    I go on days without getting enough calories. I probably get under 1500. This is an estimative though. I don't have any self-image problems like anorexia. I just want to be able to eat. It's like I think of food and it's not appealing.

    This causes problems for me like low energy and it's hard to exercise because it seems like my fuel reserves are low

    I don't take any stimulants or even caffeine.

    Any help?

    Second question: if to go to a doctor, should I talk to a gp or dietitian?

  25. Posted · Edited by Espaim

    @Globalcollective Seems exactly right haha. I expected something more elaborate but this is nice already.

     

    What can I do to help my heterosexual male friends? They seem to come to me with these problems with approach anxiety and relationships and I just can't relate to it. Sometimes I'm out with them and they lack courage to approach and I would like to do something about it because they seem to suffer.

    16 minutes ago, Javfly33 said:

    I m amazed people would ask this ??

    ¯\_(ツ) _/¯ 

    You'd be amazed by knowing how much people think I'm DEFINITELY gay or DEFINITELY hetero macho and say it outright to my face. Sometimes the same day. I can't rely on others opinions so sometimes I have to ask this basic shit.:D The problems with having uncommon traits.