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Everything posted by SQAAD

  1. @Leo Gura What self-image do you have Leo? Is it even possible to Not have a self-image?
  2. @Serotoninluv It was the latter. I knew it conceptually BUT still i couldn't disidentify with my thoughts & emotions. Mind started getting anxious & thinking things like "what if there is something wrong w/ me etc.". Very annoying. I just wanted to get revenge on this guy so maybe i can get rid of the awful feelings. Very irrational i know. I don't like getting doubtful about myself because of others.
  3. @Shin Nice. What's the main difference between loving kindness meditation & the long meditation? Also what technique do you use in general? I just observe the breath .
  4. How much do you meditate per day?
  5. @Shin Thanks for the support man!! Life is hard for everybody.
  6. @Shin First time i started to do Nofap was close to an year ago. At my first attempts i failed after the 2-week mark. Then my best streak was 51 days.I was on top of the world! Then i had a massive ego backlash that lasted for at least a couple of months . 2 steps forward and 3-4 steps backwards it was really lol.
  7. Days 25-26: Terrible, extremely bad anxiety and a lot of energy wasted on stupid compulsions. Almost masturbated. I am on the brink of quitting tbh...
  8. Some redpill people & others say that low self esteem is irreparable after a certain threshold but i can't find the reason Why? What's your opinion about that? Is it true? Personally i dislike these kind of absolute statements & it caused me anxiety.
  9. Today i didn't manage to be compulsion-free & started reading some articles/studies regarding OCD (i wish i didn't do that ). I stumbled across terrible news for my ego. Basically what i found is that OCD sufferers have impairments in learning ,memory & attention. That came as a complete shock & huge dissapointment to me because i always believed that i had increased concentration compared to others... Anyways now i am dealing with terrible anxiety & "negative" thoughts regarding these scientific findings. I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor yet to be OCD but i definetely believe that i am OCD, although my compulsions are generally mild. Any advice would be highly appreciated. It seems the more i know the worst for my ego. Does any of you who struggle with OCD have difficulty learning & remembering things? Personally i don't believe to have this issue but maybe im just deluded according to science... I don't know what to believe anymore....
  10. @Shin Thank you for the advice. Yes i meditate 30 mins a day. Will defininetely increase it as time passes on.
  11. Day 20: I had a dry dream in the morning having sex with a beautiful blonde. Didn't ejaculate. Days 21-23: Increased Memory & also i am studying 2 hours more. Day 24:Today was a very bad day for my psychologically. Strong ego backlash came into being. Wanted badly to masturbate so i can cope with my issues. The thought that i will deepy regret it afterwards, and the profounds benefits i gain, prevented me from doing it. .
  12. @oMarcos My main purpose is to become the best version of myself, to reach a peak. Also i want to achieve something that most men have never achieved. I don't know anyone close to me who has remained abstinent from sex & masturbation alltogether not even for 2 months. I wanna challenge myself and see what happens to me as time passes one. It's also an experiment for me. If i am able to conquer the sexual desire (at least for a year) then i can conquer anything else!!
  13. @Good-boy One year is enough for me and what i am trying to accomplish. For self mastery is not enough, yes i agree.
  14. Ok so God reincarnates until it reaches nirvana, then gets bored & repeats.Plus every child of God will finally reach nirvana. Now my question is as follow: Lets say i am the child that reaches Nirvana first. And Hitler at the same time is struggling to reach Nirvana as well. So while I have finally reached Nirvana, at the same time i am Hitler strugglng to reach Nirvana? Hope this makes sense.... @Leo Gura
  15. @Anderz If everything is happening in the now moment then "the future" is already being experienced simultaneously with the "past". Time doesn't exist. Consciousness doesn't need to obey the arrow of time. The numbers that already have been counted didn't go anywhere. They still exist in the now. Everything (past & future) already exists all at once. Infinity just is. Everything has already happened in a sense. That's my understanding so far. Maybe i'm wrong.
  16. @Anderz Yes maybe... But at the same time (assuming there in only Now & everything happens simultaneously) you are already living in the past, future & "present" at the SAME EXACT "Time" of every possible configuration of life.
  17. @Inliytened1 I always thought that there was no plan, no purpose. Even Martin Ball who has taken crazy amounts of 5-MeO supported this claim in his interview with @Leo Gura Is Martin Ball full of s**t then? I'm confused...
  18. @Anderz Are you a Christian who also integrates non-duality?
  19. @Leo Gura Leo, if I awaken in this lifetime, what would my next lifetime would be like ? Or won't there be any lifetime after awakening? Is it even worth the effort. Hope you can reply this aswell. Btw Thank you for the time!!
  20. @Leo Gura When you say that all children of God will reach Nirvana you simply mean about the realisation of Nirvana in our present mundane petty human lifes? All i want is just to become formless again and stay like that forever . Not have to suffer through all this misery, pain ,egotism, delusion, "bad" disgusting people all around me , deep wounds and etc. Yeah i know it sounds very ignorant of me and it comes from a place of ego. From the moment i can remember myself i always wanted simply to not exist as anything in particular. If Nirvana is as close to that then i want it. It is very tiring to be someone. Deep Sleep is my favourite thing in the whole world. Just nothing. Not having to worry about anything or anyone. I love it!
  21. @Anderz How do you know that multiple timelinees, several personal lifetimes, time travel and etc are delusions? What makes you so sure. This seems more like an assumption... Btw i highly doubt that we will reach eternal life here on earth...
  22. @Inliytened1 Very impressive! Only with psychedlics i had the chance to experience infinity.
  23. @Inliytened1 How did you get direct experience of Infinity? Which method(s) did you use?
  24. @Truth Addict I hope Leo is not manipulating us. He is a smart guy & knows a LOT about marketing. Marketing is all about manipulation & beautiful lies. Anyways he is the best thing i have found on YouTube. Glad i found him but many times i get suspicious. Even with psychedlics & 5-meo we don't really know the long term effects. I have deluded myself once big-time while on mushrooms & other times i think it was "real", "truthful" experience.