SQAAD

Haven't watched the attached video. But i have watched many other videos from Russel Brand. He is a pretty conscious and evolved guy who has overcome a lot of sh*t in his life. Also a great example of Stage Green. I don't think he is a Trump supporter, no way.

We've heard about how Reality is Perfection and Paradise but i think that at the same it is also Hell. Many peeople don't appreciate how hellish existence can become because they've just lived a basic comfortable existence somewhere in the Western world with somewhat decent parents. There are definitely levels to this. Levels that we don't even comprehend. For me it was a shock the previous year the amount of suffering that i've experienced from a silly mistake. That little mistake costed me 1 year of pure misery. One year of pure torture. There was a period where nothing i would do, would make the depression go away. I just had to let the time pass. It was the worst thing i've experienced in my entire life. I never expected reality could turn so ugly so fast. You can do all the ''right'' things and still get cancer, suffer through a terrible disease for years for no good reason, brain damage, dementia, lose all your money, get tortured , get murdered, etc etc. There are many things you can't control and can't completely avoid. My biggest fear besides getting tortured is losing my mind, my intelligence and my great memory. Every time i feel a painful sensation in my brain i get terrible anxiety. This can make my life unpleasant some of the time. Most of the time i am in a decent mood. But i am generally afraid of eventually losing everything i've worked so hard to gain. Many times i think that all the things i've learned , i can completely forget my just getting dementia. This can make it hard to motivate yourself. Yesterday i sat with a 90-year old man who has lost his memory abilities recently. He can't remember much. After his son died, he fell into a deep depression and his mind deteriorated significantly very rapidly. He was a physicist. The challenge of life i believe is that there are all these terrible things that can happen to you and you can't deny them. You can never say ''that will never happen to me''. All the sh*t you don't wanna experience, there is a chance you will experience it. It seems to me that all this suffering and pain is somewhat senseless at times. I don't get it why it can get so bad. I understand the necessity of pain and suffering but its just too much. Too much...

@Leo Gura You are right. ''Action is what really matters''.

@Leo Gura Fixing a stutter completely may be impossible though for some people. I have watched people with terrible stutters that did improve it but not all the way. Still the understanding on stuttering is very limited but it seems there is a neurological component. From my experience it is 80% psychological and 20% neurological. My situation is not completely hopeless and my stutter is mild. You are right that i am making excuses. It is because i am unsure whether i will be able to overcome this or not the way that i want. This is why i prefer to accept the worst case scenario before it even happens, i don't know if this is the best strategy though..

@Leo Gura Sometimes though some fears if they come true they will not be insignifant at all. If inability to speak well to women comes true and you can't change it well enough then that will mess up your game for good with not much hope....... Only in the cosmic scale it will be very insignificant & it won't matter at all. But for me, things that make me happy or not matter the whole world to me, as is with every living being i assume..

What is Not a thought then?

@Nahm I get what you are saying... But it is almost impossible to detach from thought... Thoughts exists for a very good reason, they help us survive. Personally because i am meditator i don't take every thought seriously.. But some thoughts i take them seriously because they are very good representation/narratives of whats going on in my life.

@Leo Gura Lol But what if the fear is not bullsh*t?? Sometimes the fear might represent/symbolise something legit....

@Leo Gura Yes, that's a good advice. I just like accepting the worst case scenario, which is tough to do at this moment.. In your video about fear you said, that its good to be willing to accept your fears.

@museumoftrees I don't really know. I guess it depends how much you have abused this substance and other factors. For me , even when i abuse it, i don't get any WDs. Everyones different. Some people get WDs when they quit weed for example, others don't.

@yolosmoothie No , i don't feel embarassed by it. I just don't like it because it decreases the quality of my conversations and i can't speak the way i want to speak all the time. Its very distressing not to be able to express yourself as you would like to. I have accepted it but still i worry how it affects my life.

@Leo Gura I don't know if the stutter can be completely eliminated. It is challenging to accept that this obstacle may be there for the rest of your life. That is the biggest thing holding me back at the moment. When i was a kid i had a terrible stutter, but i went to a specialist, did some exercises for 1 year and a half, then my stutter was completely gone away for few years. Which was very impressive. For some people it never goes away and they can only manage it to a certain extent. Then after 4-5 years when i went to high school i started feeling anxious again. And my stutter returned. It didn't return to a severe state like before, but i would find myself too anxious at times to get certain words out. My stutter was to a state where most people would not notice it. And i could work, get a job with this stutter. As i said , still most people don't notice it. Still though it is tough when people think that you are stupid because you are delaying an answer because you can't say it at that moment you wanna say it. Its a terrible experience to not be able to control your speech at times when for others it is effortless. I will start doing some exercises again which i know will help me out. But still i fear approaching people in general because of my stutter. I usually speak well when i am comfortable around people who i know. Some ''experts'' say that suttering is not psychological. I don't know what to believe anymore. I have noticed that if i am anxious i stutter more. When i am calm i never have issues. Maybe these experts are full of sh*t.

@museumoftrees For me all it took was 1 week. I don't think it takes that long for most healthy subjects. Its not that hard of a drug. It doesn't affect dopamine a lot like other drugs. The adenosine receptors should return to normal fairly fast.

@Javfly33 I don't think that it exists such thing as a harmless drug. Some things suggest that coffee may also be neurotoxic. Of course the dosage is always important. It is the dose that makes the poison as they say. I have been in a similar situation like you and now over the last months i have managed to significantly improve my relationship with caffeine. The first thing i did was to to stop coffee cold turkey. Now everyones different. But i didn't react too bad to it. I didn't feel any massive withdraws to be honest. Only the first 3 days were brutal. After few days , you realise that you don't even need coffee. You have all the energy you need without it. It becomes redundant and you view it as such. I was off coffee for like a month, then i began drinking it again but in smaller doses. Now when i wake up, i really don't need that coffee. I don't feel like i need it. I just have it because i am a drug addict and i like the whole ritual (lol). Also every now and then i do 3-5 days where i don't drink any caffeine without getting WD. The fact that you are so sleepy its probably a sign that you are sleep deprived and abusing coffee.... My tip is to wait at 1 and a half hours if you can before drinking your 1st coffee. Because when you wake up, you have tons of cortisol running in your system. You don't need any more. And cortisol should give you the energy you need. Coffee also raises cortisol so it would be a good idea to drink it after your cortisol has decreased a little bit. There isn't any research on this. But from my experience it seems a good idea. If i were to drinki coffee in the morning , i feel like i am pushing my body beyond its limits. My body tells me ''you don't need coffee right now, take it a little later''. Its a very intuitive observation of how my body feels in the morning. You should have tons of energy 1st thing when you wake up. Otherwise you may not be getting enough quality sleep. Don't drink much caffeine because it can reduce your deep sleep by 20% or even more. I only take 120-130mg of caffeine a day. More than that it scews my sleep, the next day i feel groggy and sh*tty and i need even more coffee...

@Bando Leo says that speaking skills are super important and women will reject you if you don't have them. Sometimes i stutter when i speak (it's not very severe and people who don't know me may not notice it). But it can manifest as an inability to speak exactly at the moment i want. I may have to wait or delay an answer for 1-2 seconds or change completely what i wanted to say because a certain word may not come out off my mouth. This makes me even more apprehensive about doing a cold approach. If she rejects my stutter then what's the point of even trying.

@Nahm The thought is not the problem. The main problem was the sensation. The sensation was not discordant.

@Shin I don't have to. I am already dead. This is not life. This is death.

@something_else I don't buy this whole scheme that we all should be confident and macho. Some people are naturally less dominant, less macho and much more feminine. Everyone has his own unique temperament. Imagine if you were to go to the gym, lift 50 pounds on the bench and some other people were making fun of you saying what a weakling you are.. ''You are not a real man unless you lift 300 pounds at least. Otherwise you are a pathetic weakling''. Stuff like that happens every day. Maybe you are fine with being so weak and lifting only 50 pounds at the bench. And you see nothing wrong with it. But no, now you have to change that to earn the approval of other men. Same analogy applies to pickup. I am all about developing yourself and becoming more confident and removing all the toxic junk from someones childhood. But at the same time i see through all this facade in business, relationships and everywhere. Its all just an egoic attemp to manipulate reality so you can get the woman you want, the money you want etc. Its all about acting a certain way, saying the right words, pushing the right buttons. Its more about manipulation than is about authenticity. Not even Leo can be authentic. He can't upload whatever he wants (like live trips) otherwise it will hurt his business. If you are authentic you don't go anywhere in life. Only the most egotistical, clever and manipulative people survive well in this world. Most people change their ways just so they can fit into some certain box, and achieve a certain result. It usually doesn't come from some authentic desire. It is conformity. Let me act this way so i can get the girls i want, the money i want etc. Let me conform to what other people expect from me otherwise i am fked. Its a game nobody can avoid playing. I am not saying that one shouldnt play the game. My point is that its primarily all about manipulations and ploys. When i take mushrooms i always see throught all this facade. All this fake bs. Nobody is truly authentic because it would hurt you survival. We are all ''money sees, monkey does''. Just being part of a society you have to be fake and inauthentic to a large extent in order to survive. You have to trim down the aspects of you that other egoic minds don't like, dont' approve. And enhance the aspects of you that other egoic minds will approve.

Kali Muscle suffers a heart attack from 100% clogged artery. His diet was trash it seems. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xBSUnrJSmY0

This pickup business is not about being truly authentic and genuine to who you are. Its all a facade. Changing yourself to fit the criteria of other egoic minds so you are not perceived as ''creepy''. Changing how you truly are because you are afraid of getting rejected. Its just jumping throught hoops to achieve a certain result. It has nothing to do with authenticity. Pickup is all about doing whatever will work on the mind of a woman. Changing yourself to fit her needs and desires. Leo is basically telling us that we shouldn't be the way we are. Otherwise we won't attract girls from the social matrix. That is the bottom line. Maybe my authentic self is the shy nerdy type. But no, this is not acceptable. You have to fake it to someone else. And act all macho and confident even if you really don't want to. Imagine if you had to be shy to get laid, then you would just jump through hoops by doing the exact opposite. You would hide your machoness so you could get laid. lol. You are doing whatever neccesary to manipulate the other person. Its manipulation and acting to get the desired result. You do what works. Not what is authentic. If you are authentic people don't like you. Pickup is similar to Robert Greenes Laws of Power where you use techniques to manipulate the other people around you by acting. But i am not blaming pickup. It just doesn't sit well to many higher consciousness people to play all these egoic animalistic survival games. You have to play all these manipulations otherwise women don't respond well. Fake it until you make it. Truth & honesty won't get you laid.

@Nahm No, this is not true. I genuinely experienced and felt a terrible sensation in my head. This sensation then triggered the label/thought ''my brain decaying''. The thought was just a label to the experience. If it was just a thought with no basis i wouldn't take it serious. But in this case it has a serious basis because it represents/symbolises how the sensation felt inside my head.

I think Leo is wrong about his speculations regarding sex. He mentioned in his last video that he was eating a lot of junk food like pizza. And how he hasn't eaten pizza for years. But still he eats food. He just eats different food. So the analogy doesn't apply well to sex in my opinion. From my observations and experiences the more you have sex the more you wanna have sex. Not the opposite. The more you smoke crack cocaine , the more you wanna smoke crack cocaine etc. The more money you earn, the more money you wanna earn. It just doesn't end. Maybe you could get bored having sex with the same person as like eating the same food everyday BUT you would never get tired of having sex with different people everynight. You could do that for eternity, without getting bored or tired of it. Like a drug addict who nevers gets tired of taking drugs. Leo says he doesn't want to be 60 years old and horny. But i don't think that the right strategy to do that is by having lots and lots of sex neccesarily. I understand that it helps to have some experiences fullfilled but after a point its just a hole you can never fill. Millions of people have had sex 1000s of times. And they are in their 60s still wanting it desperately............

@Knowledge Hoarder You can certainly let go of the need for sex. And you will just accomplish the same thing as you would have by having sex. You will still have the desire lol. Either you fullfill the desire or not, still the thirst never gets satiated permanently. But it loses its strength over time if you let go. Maybe after a point, it can be completely transcended, but i don't know. Because there are also hormones involved. Sex is not a desire like desire for ice-cream or pizza. You can certainly never want to eat pizza again. So the solution is not only to have sex. You could also not have sex if you were serious about it. I have experimented with celibacy. My longest streak was 4-5 months. After few weeks i was having sex in my dreams. And my sexual desire was the lowest it had ever been. There were days where i would not think about sex. The only reason i stopped is because of some prostate fear and concerns. I began feeling weird sensations in my prostate. Felt very dissapointed afterwards. Because i had the goal to do it for 1 year. I bet someone who is celibate for years, has less desire for sex than someone who has sex every week.

@Nahm It's not just a thought many times. For example sometimes if i haven't slept well for days i might feel some weird sensations in my head. These sensations feel like my brain is decaying. Then i immediately worry what does this mean. What are the probable consequences. How will it affect my life. What if its something serious etc etc. I don't actively think all these things but still the weird sensations in my head, trigger this big fear i have: of losing my mental capacities. These thoughts i have represent something real. They represent the sensations in the head. Thoughts are language. Sometimes the language represents something true. If i was fearing that some aliens were to abduct me that fear would have zero basis. But in my case, it has some good reasonable foundations. Its super hard not to take the fear of brain damage seriously when.. your head feels it has been damaged....

@Breakingthewall You said it beautifully and made very good points. What you describe here is the whole challenge of being alive. Life is full of enormous challenges. We need to be as strong as possible. Its very emotionally difficult to accept all the bad sh*t that can happen to you. Acceptance is the final stage we reach after lots of emotional and maybe even physical torture. But until then , the ego resists.....We are in a diffucult situation. God means some serious business. It seems to me that i cannot accept certain things yet.. I am afraid for example that if something truly terrible happened ( like getting dementia) and my life became completely unmanageable i would have to kill myself to end the suffering. Thats is my main fear: My life becoming too shitt* to deal with....And by no means i am a suicidal person. I am against it. But i think if anyones life became too sh*tty he would probably consider ending the misery.