Arman

You can definitely train yourself out of it, and as mention in a previous post, it's a method used for speed-reading. You can end up just almost kind of defocusing your sight and looking at sentences in chunks, and without internally vocalizing it you digest it. It's a really useful technique if you do a lot of reading, and of course you can always slow down to regular pace for more effective absorption of information, as speed reading doesn't necessarily allow time for processing. It doesn't take that long to learn. I learned it one evening and practiced it and found I wasn't very good at it. Months later I tried again on a whim and it was suddenly really natural without having put in any extra time. I bet with a few days practice it can become effortless for most people. It also makes you feel like some kind of sherlock holmes genius ninja because it feels like you're scanning through the lines and just downloading information.

Here is a system of yoga that essentially has TM as one of the central practices. It has a lot of elaboration on the subtleties and energetic process behind the practices in other lessons, and leads into other stuff if that is attractive to you. This is the meditation lesson and it has a suggested mantra which is proposed to be ideal for 'purification of the nervous system': http://www.aypsite.org/13.html It's essentially TM without the politics.

Every now and then when something preposterous happens I can't help but let out a "HOW SWAY??"

Best to release and detach from these useless narratives regardless of the glamour. Any story structure that you place your energy in will naturally grow and start to create all kinds of synchronicity. Paranoia is a stuck focus. Doesn't matter if it's numbers, demons, the government or your mother in law. Ask yourself: of what use is this to me? Stories and paranoia all share the same quality: they feed off your energy and will continue to expand until you choose to release your attention to it.

'Asanas, Mudras and Bandhas - Awakening Ecstatic Kundalini' by Yogani - for practical guidelines and exercises. His work is clear, enjoyable and systematic.

Mudras arise naturally out of the nervous system so it makes sense that they'd be discovered in different paths. The prayer hands posture is an awesome mudra in and of itself. Opens the heart right up.

cos we finna actualize

Sounds like humility

Yes: extensive research Start with erowid.org

Are you willing to surrender even life itself?

Law of Attraction as a framework suffers from being oversimplified, misunderstood and marketed dishonestly. Effective leverage comes from proper understanding of the underlying dynamics. To explore the subject more fully, try The Kyballion, Parallel Universe of Self by Frederick Dodson, and Reality Transurfing.

Thanks for the write-up and for sharing his story telling course, I'm excited to read it. I love Dan Harmon, the dude is hilarious. The documentary 'Harmontown' is a lot of fun. Not super deep but is a nice exploration of vulnerability.

I'm catmatic myself

Likely suppressed energy/emotions/trauma When digging deep and hitting certain emotions or subjects I have gotten nausea and all kinds of strange pains and feelings. For me usually they usually have a very bizarre quality. The nausea for me feels very localized to a specific area or organ as opposed to the softer more 'generalized' nausea of non other experience. The key here is to just allow it and be with it. Allow the nausea to be there and breathe through it. You may not be able to work through it all at once so when it comes, be grateful for an opportunity to uncover and dissolve inner garbage. Just be okay with the the potential that it will arise in your practices. In time it will dissolve and be out of your experience. Release the resistance to the experience. Funnily enough you may also notice that you have resistance to not having it. You may wish for it to come up fully, or you may have a frustrating feeling of inability to fully dive into it. You may feel that you really wish you could just puke it up but there is a sensation of being barred. It doesn't seem to want to go away, and yet it doesn't seem to want to fully come up either. That is a kind of polarized resistance, so consciously let go of needing it to go away, and consciously let go of needing to dive fully into it, too. This will allow for most effective release. Also be mindful of using self-inquiry and other techniques as distractions from simply being with it. Simply choose to be with it. If your self-inquiry is causing any further thoughts, mind-stuff or sense of 'doing/looking' then it is distraction and resistance against the more simple act of being with it. Often the sensations and experience will get heavier and more intense as you start to allow it. That's a good thing.

Ohhhh nooooooooo it's juuuulliieeeeeenn blaaaaanc!

Don't have advice to offer but thank you for being a caring and responsible son.

Oh, and an analogue ayahuasca experience that went severely 'wrong' due to once again being young and stupid. Was not prepared for it and had naive confidence due to using a lot of other psychedelics. It was meant to last around 3 hours, but lasted much, much longer. It was extreme and quite traumatic emotionally, energetically and physiologically. I think I had a severe reaction to the SSRI. I had what I would consider moderate brain-damage that took a few years to recover from. That first year and particularly the first few months were really awful. Memory, focus, concentration were all messed up. The first week or two I would wake up from sleeping randomly LOADED on DMT. Like I would wake up within a DMT experience (they say we might produce DMT in our sleep and my experience seems to anecdotally verify that) and it would last a few minutes and reside. It was really really strange and scary. It is an experience I'm likely still paying for to this day. Jeeze, I have forgotten about these things. Surprised I can still walk and talk! It's a testament to the body and brains capability to heal itself though, as I consider myself fairly healthy and grounded now.

Didn't follow instructions/advice on using spinal-breathing pranayama when I was around 18. It is like kriya-yoga and was used with mantra meditation alongside a few other prescribed yoga practices for working with kundalini energy etc. You were supposed to start slow and simple and only take on further progression practices once the previous ones had proved to be comfortable and balanced over several months, and warned to scale back and reduce or remove practices if you are experiencing any negative symptoms. Being naive,I didn't listen to any of that and even took on practices that were described for only people who have practiced comfortably for years. I overdid it and became very ungrounded because I was getting interesting experiences of bliss and general intense physiological stuff. It was not a spiritual pursuit for me but more wanting to get high and it was a way of escaping. Sometimes practices can create joy and all kinds of phenomena that is exciting to the ego but it is frenetic and ungrounded as opposed to integrated. Eventually over time it kind of exhausted and burnt out my nervous system and any practices would be overstimulating and overwhelming. Any pranayama would leave me severely uncomfortable for days, and even meditating for short term made me uncomfortable, ungrounded and emotionally volatile and anxious for a few days. Even ten minutes would make the next day or two quite uncomfortable. It took almost 2 years before I could meditate for any length of time again without negative symptoms and maybe another 2 years before I could feel grounded in general. There were also shorter periods of more severely uncomfortable experiences. Scary times, frankly, but worth the lessons, and also gives me an appreciation of being able to just sit in silence.

ewww no girls r gross

I like it because different perspectives seem to provide a greater level of context for the human journey which can be a useful compass and also a way to understand your own experiences of past and present, and to a lesser degree what you might expect for the future.

Given that 'the work' creates another mental framework for understanding emotions and reality - it is possible that it becomes yet another barrier in the long run because if you become attached to it or create your identity around it, then it is one more thing that needs to be surrendered. Clearing emotions goes a tremendous way towards increasing happiness, reducing mental chatter and increasing consciousness, clarity and insight. If you can turn the same release mechanism illumined in her work ultimately towards ALL aspects of life, including sense of self and all belief systems no matter how subtle (ie. I am healing. I have thoughts. I exist.) than it's possible. At any rate it's a highly practical tool for ascending in consciousness and making life easier so I'd suggest it

I used to be convinced that no-fap, (particularly the act of retaining sexual fluids) was a definite route of increasing energy, confidence, happiness, health, radiance, etc etc etc... I experimented a lot when I was a bit younger and had interesting results. Personally however I can no longer be sure that the connection is as direct as I had assumed because in my experience, it is possible to create this level of transformation and MORE simply through intent - that is the power of belief. It is possible to transform from depression, mental fog, insecurity and low level functioning into very high states that are sustainable for moderate periods of time simply through a correctly or conveniently placed intention or belief. This can carry profound physiological changes alongside it. Therefore, it is difficult to state just how much of a correlation there is between not masturbating and the array of profound effects that people claim. Happiness is an internal birthright and it's possible that people are temporarily taking claim to it through this 'permission slip'. I also have noticed that not many high masters have gone in depth about the connection between well-being, energy and masturbation. I have a theory that it may be because people would take it as pejorative and it may create sexual tension/shame in people - and suppressing the sexual drive can cause unforeseen consequences. Or perhaps the connection is overblown entirely.

Kundalini/kriya yoga practices are good, and I think possibly a good fit for someone who is wanting to have interesting experiences. On the same lines as ajasatya's recommendation I would also suggest aypsite.org Try not to waste time and energy on spirit guides and other kinds of communications. They are often at best distractions. The best kind of progress and joy comes from working on yourself. I also suggest a practice that will help you understand and work with your inner emotions and energies. The most radical transformations can come through things like forgiveness, letting go of anger, or processing grief. Even skeptics will believe in ghosts and devas before they will believe that forgiveness and conscious relaxation of life tensions can radically transform your life. My favourite book on this subject is Letting Go by David R Hawkins.

Life purpose =/= "what helps the world?" Traditionally when one finds their life purpose it adds to the word regardless of whether it fits the conventional picture of what helps the world and what doesn't. Don't beat yourself up for not having concern for the world, because it's not something you necessarily choose to do anymore than a mother chooses to love a child. Compassion as a quality isn't forced or efforted but is rather the spontaneous quality of certain stages. When it is more refined, there isn't 'concern' because there's a wisdom that knows that following your own unique purpose is optimal. So don't worry about it because it will come naturally and of its own volition. Be true to yourself, as you say, and explore your own unique passions and interests.