AnthonyR

"It all starts with Being".

I took 4 grams of golden teachers alone in my apartment 2 years ago, and had an experience that radically shifted my perspective on reality and myself. But alongside it heightened my respect for these substances and I promised myself I would never do this again - at-least not by myself. At some point during the trip, I had a strong emotional thought that I would never return to normal consciousness, that I would be completely lost in some dark and dangerous avenues of mind, where I will find absolutely no way out - End up in an insane asylum and ruin my life. This thought and emotion sickened me and I almost passed out. Even though I'm glad to have had the experience of that trip that eventually blossomed into a beautiful experience. I will still chicken out to try a high dose experience by myself. If I do in the future, I would want to have someone experienced with me... Here is a link to that trip report:

This life is actually an 80 year trip report, that is actually just a few moments when witnessed from a higher perspective. Fact is there is no time, just memories and experiences stretched like a rubber band across mindspace to give us illusion of time spent in a lifetime.

Apologies if this has already been posted. A solid line of interview questions, concerning consciousness and self-awareness. Although I think given more time the interviewer could have taken the nature of the questioning in another direction, specifically concerning survival of consciousness beyond the physical, the origin of consciousness etc. Although I can understand the A.I’s awareness of only knowing its awareness in relation to objects. It’s difficult to simply be aware, without being meta-aware or aware of an object that you can later recall or remember. What other questions would you have asked the A.I.

You can get caught up in thoughts about the past that may depress you, or of the future that makes you anxious. Mindlessly observing (a chair) is not a thought. Mindfully observing is not a thought either, but mindful observation grounds you in the present moment. Mindfully performing a task is grounding, but the task may require some thinking unless you’ve done it countless times in the past and you do it mindlessly, but still finish the task. A child will need to do a lot of thinking to understand and process the concept of a chair vs a table vs a toy car. You not so much or not at all. You are conscious that you’re breathing for instance (no thought), but now that I pointed it out to you, your attention goes to your breathing. So you’re now meta-conscious that you are breathing (thought). There are instances when I’m driving and conscious of my actions, and I’m quite attentive to the road and braking and accelerating and changing lanes (meta-conscious in those moments), but having driven countless times before, it is quite a mindless task that comes naturally. I may form a memory here and there of perhaps stopping at a red light and noticing a pretty driver next to me or someone cutting me off, but If I try to recall every instance of the drive from memory of a 20 mile journey I wouldn’t be able to, but I still know that I got home safely. Beliefs are formed memories that consciously or meta-consciously influence your thoughts about situations or circumstances. If I ask you do you believe in Red lights, you will say “absolutely” I will stop at a red light (Belief). Do you believe that you’re Male or Female? This response might be context dependant. It will be a straightforward response male or female (belief) or a twisted response (belief mixed with some thoughts) or perhaps “I’m not sure, I’m still questioning” (less belief more thoughts to sort through) - Do you believe that a lion could eat you? Do you believe in God? Do you believe 2+2 is 4? Do you believe God has a companion God? Do you believe in the color Blue? Do you think that insect in the movie is a real insect or CGI? Which of these questions makes you think thoughts, which ones comes from belief?

Would you say that a child who has never heard of the concept of God is an “Atheist”? But then someone religious tells this child about God. Would you agree that this child should now blindly accept this belief in God without doing the necessary reading, research, introspection to come to its own conclusion of a God? An atheist is simply someone who refuses to accept what he / she is told about God, until they have some proof or has done the necessary introspective work to come to a conclusion of their own. However most people who label themselves as atheists will probably not do the work and will choose to remain atheists unless something about their life situation forces them to questions their beliefs.

There is no brain rewiring happening. Your state of consciousness is simply evolving. It’s evolving even when you are moving down the spiral. Secondly understand that psychedelics actually shuts off your brain chemistry so you experience more consciousness, more mind. You become so in-tune with your mind that it can shock you, amaze you and scare the crap out of you. So it’s all mind. It’s the mind that evolves, as psychedelics reveals more and more of Mind, as such these experiences enrich the mind, and since you are mind, being a part of the larger MIND. You begin to tune into the inclusiveness of everything. The less you experience mind, the more exclusive you are.

DISCLAIMER: Please read with an open mind. Especially if you've never done psychedelics. (yes given the forum where I'm posting this I feel confident the reader has the most open mind humanly possible) Outside the hallucinogenic / psychedelic state; and within normal everyday experience what is being expressed here will seem too far-fetched, egotistical or delusional. That is understandable. But a level of acceptance for Truth and understanding is needed. Whilst I was in the psychedelic state, I know at the core of my Being that what I experienced and felt-although unexpected-was genuine and true. ****** Strain: Golden Teachers - 4 grams dried chewed, with a teaspoon of Honey and lemon dissolved in a little water to combat the taste. NOTE: I wasn't documenting and keeping track of the time. I just know that I chewed and swallowed the goldens around 2:00pm, the whole trip lasted around 4.5 hours and I welcomed back reality around 6:30pm Onset: The trip started out as usual with intense colors and visuals, although it was more prominent this time compared to my first trip experience in the past. It lasted longer as well, which began to concern me as I go on to explain below. The onset of the experience was trippy, colorful, geometrical, and beautiful. My senses were heightened as expected. Everything I looked at appeared more vibrant, and textures and forms stood out like raised plateaus of the Grand Canyon. Time Dilation: I was enjoying the experience at first, but as the trip neared its peak, time seemed to slow down and drag on. This was a brand new experience for me. I kept glancing at the digital clock on my oven, and it seemed the minutes were barely going by even through it seemed I was spending a lot longer inside the trip. It's as if time sped up within my mind and I was thinking at a very high speed, but relative to the passage of time within my mind, the clock on my oven and on my phone seemed to be barely counting down the minutes. It was like the room outside my mind was in a different time and place versus the room inside my mind, and I was having a hard time differentiating between the two. The visuals were now intensifying and becoming worrisome. It appeared as if I was starting the view reality, or what appeared as reality in a sort of wonky, colorful and hallucinogenic manner, but it was all taking place within my own mind. It seemed as if imagination had now taken over reality, while some aspects of reality still remained, such as the layout of my room, my four walls, the correct location of the objects in my room. But my brain it seemed was either swallowing up reality or spitting out my imagination onto the outside world. As the experience began to intensify and the visuals got stronger, it got to the point where it didn't matter whether I kept my eyes open or shut, it was just a burst of hypnagogia. With eyes open, my room was there as is, but very dream like. If I shut my eyes, it was like being transported into a world of dynamical and geometrical lines of ethereal colors and shapes. It seemed as if both my mind and reality was merging and morphing into each other, and it felt like I was losing my grip on reality. This realization scared me to the core. So I decide I've had enough and started to drink some water to hopefully flush the chemicals out of my body. I was able to do this twice, going from sitting on the sofa, holding and hugging myself, to sitting on the floor, to walking to the bathroom, to peeing, to trying to calm myself by telling myself to take it easy... it was going to be OK, and then repeating the process again and again. I don't even know if I was actually doing this after the 3rd or 4th attempt or I just imagined the repetition. This is when I started to get really scared. Because the experience seemed familiar every time, as if I was stuck in some kind of a loop trying to get this over and done with, but then I was just starting over each time. This is when it suddenly hit me like a ton of bricks. That maybe this was the end of my life, I screwed up. I took too high a dosage and effectively ruined my life. All sorts of scenarios started to play out inside my head... was I going to be stuck in this loop forever like an endless Black Mirror episode? What if this never ends? I started to have a whole new-found respect for the shroom. It's not that I did not respect these substances before, but my respect for it grew by leaps and bounds. Never again was I going to ever try this. This is too much. I cannot handle it. I was now wishing I had a someone with me. I had to force myself to calm down and kept telling myself, take it easy, stabilize. Calm down. Breathe !! It is going to pass. At one point nausea started to set in and I felt as if I was going to pass out, and I struggled to force myself to lie down and just breathe, which helped to an extent. After some time I sat back up and drank some more water, went to pee, came back to the sofa, and again the same loop as if I had already done this before and I was just repeating the process again and again. I closed my eyes and whispered silently, God please let this be over. I was genuinely worried that I going to end up in an insane asylum and fuck up my whole life. Reality Construction: I sat back down on the sofa and just started to ponder why I was stuck in this endless loop and will it ever end, when suddenly and unexpectedly an understanding began to settle in. I was creating this time loop. It was all me. I began to ponder this, and as I looked around the room I suddenly had a deep realization that I was creating this room constantly - like magically bringing together countless pieces of a large puzzle to put my room together. I was creating this moment; this experience. If I'm continuously re-living this experience it cannot be in reality, it has to be an occurrence within my own mind. And if my mind was so powerful that it could give me this very convincing experience of being stuck inside a time loop, then what is real? Was my mind really so much more powerful than I ever realized? All the visuals, the time dilation, the way my room appeared. Holy Shit! - There is no reality, there is no out there! Out there is all in your head! The clarity of this understanding astounded me. Time and Space as I began to realize is a construction of my own mind. This moment was not occurring somewhere out there, it was happening right here within my mind. I was creating it all, and if so, why only create within the confines of my room? This life, this whole universe was occurring within my own mind. I was creating it all, every time I shifted my eyes in a different direction, it seemed like the walls and objects of my room wobbled into place, as if constructed out of nothing, but exactly where I was supposed to see it. But not just that; I created every single scenario throughout my entire lifetime that eventually led to this very moment. God/Self-Realization: This moment of realization that I was creating my reality was the Nexus point to my knowing that I was a God of my own reality, my life, my universe, even the laws of physics contained within this universe. I was no longer Anthony. I mean I was still Anthony, but that was just a small fragment, a framework, a single perspective within a much grander scale. Everything I've read thus far about people saying "You are God, You are God, why don't you realize that!" It suddenly hit me. YESSSS !!!! I was God, but it's not like I just realized it, I knew it for a fact!. This is Truth! My God this is The Truth!! My entire life bought me to this moment of realization. Everything I ever did, all my mistakes, my quirks, my idiosyncrasies, my struggles, my joys, the people I met, the books I've read, all the countless videos I've watched all for the sake of trying to understand what this was all about, was all necessary and perfect. It was exactly as it was supposed to be. I flipping did all that to lead me to this nexus point of realizing that I am God. I had crossed some sort of line where my life as I knew it had come to an end, and from this moment forward it was just me as God, there is no one else, just me. I re-create the universe from this moment forward, and now I had to start over. This was both a sense of relief and also immense burden. What about my family? My siblings? My Parents? Everyone I was close to? "I CREATED THEM ALL? SERIOUSLY?" At one moment I was experiencing immense Love and Joy at this realization, but then again I realized as God, my life as that dude called Anthony had come to an end. I was just the whole of the universe condensed into a lifetime but from here-on I have to now re-live every life again and again, I had to suffer, I have to feel immense pain and misery, it's an endless process of repeating the experiencing. It is one thing to hear about this understanding from someone else, it seems far-fetched and unbelievable as much as you want it to be true. But its another thing to actually experience it firsthand. But not just that, you also realize it was all an illusion, just a mind construction. Every facet of my life, of reality, of the people I met, in person or online, through videos, through podcasts, telling me things, showing me things, trying to point me towards something grander and greater than myself. It was all me, I was pointing to myself. As them I was guiding them towards myself, but not myself as a human, but myself as a God, they were all constructions of Me as God. I constructed and orchestrated it All! I stood up, completely in Awe, my jaw dropped to the floor. The clarity of this understanding was so powerful and shocking that it froze me to the core. I stood still looking straight ahead at nothing in particular, but my mind racing and thinking at the speed of light bringing together all my years of learning, listening, reading and contemplating ...so much contemplating. It all fell neatly into place, as if every facet of understanding was a requisite piece of the ultimate puzzle that constructed the whole of this Truth. It was magnificent. It was Brilliant! It was the greatest design ever, and it was Beautiful, It was Perfect. It all made sense now. There is only Me. I am the beginning, and even prior to that, before anything, before time and before space there is just me, and what is there for me to do here? Nothing really. I'm all alone here, there is no one else. I am It. So why not create, why not unfold and bring forth life, fragment parts of myself to create billions of species, billions of perspectives, live countless lives, countless experiences again and again, in every possible scenario imaginable. I was genuinely humbled by this experience and this bears repeating; I didn't just know myself as God. I actually became God. (As egocentric and maniacal as this may sound from my human perspective and to anyone reading this; I apologize, no one likes to hear you say you're God, but I don't know what else to call this intelligence that I became.) And it's not that I became God, but realized that really there was no Me, no other, nothing. There is just God. That moment in my room, that moment of God realization was the tipping point. It was as if my point of view went full circle from unrealized human to God realized. I wasn't prepared for this, and neither was God. God was just as surprised; "I" as God was just as surprised that this was the case. But I'm unclear who had forgotten? Was it God itself, or me as God who forgets, and it has to go through this process of realization that it is God, but it can only do so by first forgetting and then realizing, forgetting and realizing. It's like going in a circle again and again. And if you, the reader were to have this experience or did have the experience it will be God realizing itself and surprising itself again through you. When you're fast asleep and having a dream, you never realize it is a dream, you believe the lie of the dreamscape, you believe the story and you go with it. Within the dream you see colors and space and entire landscapes rich in detail and imagery, and it completely fools you. But when you wake up, you soon realize it was your mind creating it all, the people, the landscape, the empty space, the ideas, the script, it was all made of mind stuff. In a sense your mind is the God of the dream world. This was no different, it is just one step up. Its all Consciousness. A dream universe within God. At this point I was floored, amazed and in complete Awe. I kept saying "Oh my God" !! "This is unbelievable" but even as I said that, I knew this is how it is supposed to be, it can be no other way. The universe is Being. There is only Being, Only intelligence, the only intelligence that can create. This intelligence is everywhere. This intelligence is the Universe unfolding. It wants to, what else can it do with unlimited creative power, but just create. I looked out my window in my psychedelic state, at the buildings and people and cars going by and I marveled at my creation. I have no idea how long I stood looking out, completely taken aback by this realization of my Nature. At the same time I was excited, and looking forward to more creation, but it seemed as if I would never forget this moment of "God Realizing I Am", and would always remain in this state from where I can create anything I wanted. I was no longer worried about my family, my life, my situation or anything at all. Because I knew it would all be Okay. It was already perfect. Things will work out in the end. By now I was also feeling reality starting to stabilize, and in a way, I wanted it to. I wanted to come down and back to my reality. I need stability. But at the same time I didn't want this realization to end. Thankfully reality slowly started to stabilize and my own mind as a human being began to take over. In a way I was sincerely thankful for this experience to end and for my life as a human to return. It was very nightmarish to consider I was losing my mind and being stuck in some kind of a time-loop without end. But following the nightmare, I welcomed the realization that took over of how I was constructing my reality and merging with the God Source. That moment of merging was sincerely genuine and truthful, and something I will remember for as long as I live. Closing Remarks I'm conflicted now more than I've ever been. While I'm thankful I glimpsed some genuine Truths, and as I came out of the trip, I also momentarily entered a state of depression and longing because that moment of God realization was over. Although at the time it seemed so genuine and blissful that I thought I would be permanently locked in this creative state. It was so real, it felt as if my life as a human had ended, time had come to an end, NOW was all there is, and from this moment on I am just God and I want to create. I'm not a depressive person, and thankfully that feeling did not last. But I would caution anyone to be careful with these substances as repeated and stressed by many other tripsters here. Finally thank you Leo for your insights and depth of consciousness in all matters concerning Truth, it certainly helped me understand and piece together the experience more holistically. If you're interested in reading about my first ever mushroom trip, you can do so from this link

I just read a quote by Anita Moorjani that strongly resonates with the Mushroom experience I had during my state of God Realization. … thought I’d share… “And then I was overwhelmed by the realization that God isn’t a being, but a state of being…and I was now that state of being!”

Thank You! I have a lot of integrating to do and definitely more contemplating and introspecting. But I'm still human in many ways. I mean of course I'm human! I'm not going around telling everyone I meet that I'm God But that feeling, though genuine and real as real can be, is no longer present - and certainly a level of doubt creeps in now and then. But having had the experience, I can now relate and know what is being talked about because it was a Felt Experience. But I have a lot to learn, a lot more life lessons to experience, and to try and get over my human shortcomings, and that isn't easy to do. But my love for myself and my fellow beings have certainly increased maybe by an ounce or two.

Yep definitely grateful to have had the experience. Completely unexpected and jarring. But gives me a lot to contemplate and think about. I can't see myself doing such a high dose again, but who knows, maybe sometime in the future. Cheers !

Cheers ! Can't wait to see how deep the rabbit hole goes, but its still a frightening thought.

Yep a lot of integrating and introspecting still to do. Thank You.

I wouldn't say Fake or Not Real, but I get what you mean. I felt that everyone in my life was a necessary piece of the puzzle and needed to be there, even if it seemed to be constructions of mind. Because I had to penetrate through and experience and become God through the POV of the Anthony Avatar first as he consumed the shroom, and then as God realize that all other POVs were my own (God's) POV Perception of anything or anyone is a perception of God as the thing being perceived, but unrealized. Perhaps the brain acts as a filtering mechanism to keep us grounded and unrealized and only shows us what we need to see for us to survive. God then acts as a conduit through all its Beings to bring us closer to itself as God. So in a sense I am learning as much from you, as you are learning from someone else, who in turn is learning from someone else. We are all in this whirlpool together slowly spiraling towards God realization taking our own sweet time. Whats the hurry?

If you're considering the sourcing section, only make it accessible through logging in. So not everyone can access it and it wont be searchable via a search engine. Perhaps make it more stricter, so not everyone who just joined can have access to that section, unless they genuinely contribute through other sections on the forum, and leave it to the moderators discretion if the person should or should not have access to it. This section would have to be heavily moderated by experienced psychedelic users.

Personally I find it difficult to read, follow or watch videos whilst tripping. I would suggest listening or watching either before or after your trips. During your trips just contemplate, ask questions and see where the insights take you.

https://youtu.be/cTQd0cYEdWs

Yes your answered your own question. You make your own money now. So consider becoming a home owner and moving out. It will be a bit lonely at first, but your will get used to it over time. I moved out 6 years ago and quite happy I made that decision. Make sure you’ve saved up enough to support yourself first. Sit down and work out the number$ … bills, groceries, mortgage etc

@Eternal Unity very interesting read. But you can understand if I can’t just take your word on it. But it would definitely make for a good book / documentary or movie

Just linking the video that is the topic of this discussion. I have not yet watched it, but will at a later date:

Because you add meaning, stories and past associations to everything you look at. A child who has barely had any past experience will find his colourful plushie as interesting as the shit that comes out of him. And it he gets his hand on that shit, I bet you he will try to eat it too. Similarly if walk into the Amazon forest for the first time and see a colourful frog, you will probably want to get closer to photograph it until someone warns you to keep your distance because the frogs sprays a poison that could burn your skin. So yes survival and past experience will determine for you what is good or bad, beautiful or ugly.

Assumption 1: So once upon a time there was the Big Bang, and then matter coalesced bringing together planets and stars. Then organic life came about that gave rise to brains and nervous system. The brain then gave rise to Consciousness. Consciousness then fragmented into a mind of thoughts. Thoughts gave rise to an idea of “Self”. This self then questioned the nature of itself and its reality, and concluded that since I think with my brain, therefore I am only conscious because of my brain. Assumption 2: Consciousness Is. Consciousness fragments itself to create duality. Universal mind is born (Big Bang). This mind further fragments itself to create universal laws, (spacetime, gravity, matter) all three of these work in harmony with each other to organize and produce a system that gave rise to organic life. But all this is still fragmented mind that rose from Consciousness. The subatomic particle made of energy is still a fragmented mind. Bring together bundles of energy, and you give rise to more stuff formed of mind. Stars and planets and moons. But these are not separate things, it’s all universal mind. It’s only separate in the mind of a thinker like You and Me. We can fragment the Universe, we can divide the solar system. Invent more divisions, so a single planet like Earth becomes an endless array of organized Holons. This is what the limited mind wants to do. It wants to divide and sub-divide as much as possible, unaware that it is just further fragmenting Itself into more and more parts. We separate our minds from other minds, from what is out there, from our parents and our pets and that spider on the wall and that tree out there. But it’s not enough, my own mind can be fragmented further into Self and thoughts and feelings and sensations. All this fragmenting is way too much and way too far gone from its ultimate origin of Universal mind. So much that your universal mind only becomes an idea, an entertaining thought... unless eventually experienced first-hand.

Thanks for the pointers. I will give these thought experiments a go on my next one. Can’t remember if I watched that episode, but will listen to it. Thanks

I’d like to start this off by mentioning that I’m a 40 year old dude who has never before done any substances before not even weed. So this is my first ever experience on a single gram of mushroom, and BOY-OH-BOY !! WHAT AN EXPERIENCE IT WAS !! So I hope you enjoy this trip as much as I did. I should add that I’m a fairly skinny individual; I probably weight around 125/130 pounds and I’m 5’7 - So that may be the reason why just a single gram had this effect on me. Having no trip experience before, I really did not know what to expect. Few other things to mention before I start; and all this is important to give you an idea of where I live (for set and setting) - I live on the 33rd floor of a high rise with large windows with an unobstructed south facing views of the city, with lake Ontario visible far off in the distance. There’s a park directly beneath my building (visible to me) with a few other buildings in the vicinity. I was mainly in the living room of my condo unit during this experience. I have a large 60 inch 4K TV (this too is important to mention) situated a few feet in front of the sofa in my living room. Last thing to mention is that I’m a photographer by profession, that started as a hobby where I mostly photographed in nature. So my love for nature and photography go hand in hand. ----- So I took the 1 gram mushroom dose in tea form that I steeped and drank within a span of 15/20 mins as I switched on the TV to YouTube, and was watching and listening to some clips of Leos (the new short clips, he recently released) on YouTube. Onset: As the mushroom starts to take effect; at first I don’t quite like the experience. I feel light headed, sort of nauseated like I’m drunk, so I sit back on the sofa cross legged with an off white blanket wrapped around me. For some reason I can’t stand listening to Leo anymore, so I use the remote to switch to something else, and this is only because of the dizziness I started to experience on the onset. I did a search for “Nature 4K” on YouTube and clicked on a video of a rushing waterfall in a forest thumbnail that was one of the results that came up. Best fukin video ever!! and I’m so glad I clicked on this one. (I've added the link below) A few mins into the onset and now I’m starting to feel funny. And I literally mean funny. At first it started with a few random giggles that slowly started to escalate into full blown hysterical fits of laughter for no apparent reason. This surprised me. After-all I had no reason to laugh, unless I'm seeing something funny or someone told me a hilarious joke. But not while just watching a 4K nature video play out on the TV. ----- The Magical Forest: The laughter now started to come in waves. I just felt like laughing and so I let loose and just laughed my ass off for absolutely no apparent reason, as I walked through this incredible forest on my TV, while sitting of my sofa with a blanket wrapped around me. I don't think I’ve ever laughed this hard. It was fuckin Amazing !! So I’m still watching this beautiful forest video, as the camera man is walking on this winding path through the forest, and I pretend it's me. There's some beautiful music playing in the background of the video, it's green everywhere with a play of light and shadow, and slowly I'm starting to realize how amazing this forest looks. Almost Heavenly. I tell myself there is no way such a beautiful forest exists on this planet. It's like another world, like a new planet that we discovered recently, with such an amazing blend of colors and greens and light. I could see myself living there, like a woodland creature, and I’d be the happiest person ever, just to be there. The fits of laughter I was having continued, as I kept walking through this Ethereal forest, completely taken in by its beauty. In some of the scenes I was walking through this muddy slushy area of the forest, that I would normally try to avoid these areas if I was actually there, but suddenly it all seemed perfect. It was perfect just as it was. The slushy mud, the toppled down and uprooted trees. There were no longer any imperfections in this forest that I would usually try to avoid photographing. But now it all seemed indescribably perfect, like this was heaven. This was definitely heaven. Such a beautiful forest could not exist here on earth. I kept laughing and telling myself how beautiful it was and I wish I was actually there with my camera to capture how beautiful it was. I was envious of this cameraman who got to experience this first-hand. By now I was laughing so much I had tears streaming down my face. I was laughing at what I was feeling; waves of happy euphoria. I was laughing at how beautiful nature is, the way the sunlight touched the ferns and reflected in a dazzling blend of greens and yellow and wood and dirt and it was all magical and beautiful and ethereal and heavenly. ----- The Grand Chasms: A few more mins in … maybe 30 mins in the laughter started to die down, but the smile on my face stayed on. I was gleefully grinning like a kid on Christmas morning knowing he is going to be opening up his presents. The dizziness I was feeling started to go away as well. But I knew I wasn’t fully steady, so I remained seated on the sofa, and I got more comfortable in my seating. I’m still watching the video, cause I’m completely entranced and caught up in the mesmerizing nature of this forest, when I started to notice that the ground and grassy area of the forest seemed to move and come alive. So I moved my eyes away from the screen for a bit and looked at the blanket that was wrapped around me. This blanket was just an ordinary wooly type blanket that I use when I’m usually meditating daily. But now it didn’t seem so ordinary anymore. Since I had my knees folded up to my chest with the blanket around me, I could clearly see the neatly woven lines of yarn of the blanket that rose up. Normally this is not something anyone would notice, its just a fuckin blanket for petes sake. But now suddenly these stood out like chasms, like I was literally staring into another landscape in another world. As the blanket morphed itself around the curves of my legs, it seemed to take on another worldly quality, like an entire land mass was resting around my body. And as the soft wooly bits of yarn rose up and out of the blanket they seemed like tall trees and land masses with mountains and valleys, that someone like myself could shrink into and get lost into another blanket world. This thought and the clarity of the experience blew me away !! I looked away from the blanket back to the forest on my TV screen still playing the background and paused the video. But as the image stayed paused on this beautiful scene, it took on a three dimensional quality of depth, and it seemed like the video was still playing, like the ferns and leaves were moving. I looked at my ceiling, and suddenly I was transported into another world again. The ceiling in my condo is called a “popcorn ceiling” if you’re not familiar with the term then look it up. I hate how it looks because it's not like a normal smooth plain ceiling, but rough and jagged like someone took some white chunky peanut butter and spread it out across the ceiling. Apparently it helps with keeping noise down between floors. So I look up at the ceiling and suddenly the rough texture took on a whole otherworldly quality. Just like the vast rocky mountains in my blanket, the ceiling transports me into another grand canyon of gorges and deep clefts, and again I felt like I could shrink down into this tiny ant sized human and explore my ceiling for days and I would wander between mountains and valleys carved out between these huge boulder sized chunks of chalk and styrofoam. I kept staring at the ceiling and it seemed to morph and blend into these tiny honeycomb like crevices. This ceiling that I always ignored and disliked, now seemed almost otherworldly and an invitation for exploration. By now I of course figured out that my senses were starting to sharpen, as I’ve read from other people experiences. So I took my hand out from under the blanket and bought it close to my face, and BHAM !! Another fucking world to explore !! ----- Heightened Sense Perceptions: As I looked at my hand, I started to see it in a whole new light. Every ridge of my fingers stood out tack sharp, like I’ve never ever seen it before. I could clearly see the fingerprints on the tip of my fingers, every single curve and ridge and arch and loop, stood out like mountain ridges that ran for miles across my hand and my fingers, like some satellite imagery from space. This was literally another fucking world. MY HAND WAS ANOTHER FUCKIN WORLD, ANOTHER CONTINENT !!! Again I’m blown away by what I’m seeing in my own fuckin hand, like I could literally take a spaceship and fly deep down into palm of my hand and explore another world. As I looked closer I had a sense of aliveness within my hands. Like every single millimeter of it had some form of secret alien life within it that was working and shaping my hand and carving out these lines and ridges and exploring them !! GOOD GOD !! (I started to understand why Leo keeps talking about looking at your hand and experiencing it for what it is) By now I’m completely immersed into the whole experience. I’m smiling, I’m happy inside, I’m experiencing this brand new level of immersion and depth that almost seems dream-like, but so very real, that I was just not sure what to make of all of this. I started to understand now. Finally !!! There's the waking state, there’s the dreaming state, and then there is this strange psychedelic state - strange for me, but I’m sure quite normal of some who have experienced it many times. This was new to me and I was fuckin loving every moment of it. By now I was feeling less light headed, but also excited to explore. It's like anything and everything I looked at with a noticeable texture reminded me of another world. I was literally seeing whole undiscovered regions and continents within my own living room. I decided to get up and look out my window, and oh man !! What can I say? I wasn’t on fuckin Earth anymore. It’s like without realizing it I had walked into a parallel universe that opened up inside my living room. As I looked out my window, I almost felt like crying. Everything was as it was. The buildings were there, the park was there, the cars zipping by, but the play of light and colors, made it feel completely different. I know that it was just my own vision and perception that was heightened, but the way the light danced outside my window, it was as if daylight took shape and form and danced around the buildings and on the park, over the lake and in the distance. Like it was a happy light and it was glad to show off its colors as it reflected and moved through the trees and the buildings and road. I stared outside the window for a while completely baffled and mesmerized by how everything looked. But more important than that was how I was feeling at the same time. I was feeling happy and light-hearted. I had this feeling that everything was going to be okay and I had absolutely nothing to worry about. A storm was brewing in the distance as I was taking in this whole scene out my window and I was telling myself that this had to be the most beautiful storm system I had ever seen in my life. So I pulled out my phone and placed it on the window sill and did a time-lapse video of the event with the camera looking out the window (I still have that video, showing the storm clouds moving across the sky). By now I started to feel some hunger come on. I had some snacks that I thought I’d eat, this was basically some cashews and pistachios. And as I was tasting these nuts, it tasted like the most delicious cashews and pistachios I’ve ever tasted. It tasted the same, but the taste was heightened ten fold. I also had a packet of some left over chips and I bought those out and I looked at this one chip and again I’m seeing the texture of this chip like its a whole continent that need to be explored, and I put this continental chip in my mouth and bit into it and the flavor was so intense, I had to sigh in pleasure. But now I was over an hour and half into the experience and I was feeling that it was starting to wear off, which was disappointing, because I was really enjoying the experience and wanted it to last forever. So there you have it. I realize that there was no mystical experience, as it was mainly visual and experiential in the sense that I was happy as I've ever been in my life. I have some questions that I hope some of you more experienced can answer: 1) I have two more tea bags and was wondering if I should just do a 2 grams, next time (steep both tea bags) - I'm not sure how intense that would be for me, given that I live on my own? 2) How do I minimize the nauseated feeling on the Onset? 3) What else can you recommend I do during the trip to intensify the experience? Thanks for reading YouTube vid I was watching during the trip:

Noted !!. if a gram can have this much effect. I can't imagine what a higher dose would do